A/N: Another Inferno inspired classic!
'Hancock caught showering'
The ways of war…of the battlefield…of fallen men…
"Usopp," Zoro grunted, mist curling over the moon lit trees making it difficult to see where he was going. Usopp's blood covered body lay limp in his arms, breathing coming in staggered gasps.
"Usopp, hang on you stupid bastard…"
"Zoro…we saw it…we saw it…" he whispered tearfully.
Zoro stumbled on a tree root, struggling to keep Usopp from feeling the brunt of the fall and forcing himself to continue on.
They are all after the blood of men.
"Oi, Zoro," Luffy said through a mouthful of meat, raising a confused eyebrow as his first mate came out from the forest, "what the hell happened to Usopp?"
Zoro ignored him, placing his fallen comrade by the fireside and running back into the fray.
I will not…let you idiot's die in such a stupid way…
"Zoro…aniki…" Franky muttered, lifting an arm as the swordsman slid the rest of the way into the bunker and letting himself be dragged up the hill as well.
"Oi, oi, what's with all the blood?" Nami said with concern upon his return with the shipwright. "Was there an accident? I told you guys not to go too far."
"USOPP! FRANKY!" Chopper yelled, frantically calling for a doctor and pawing at his friends. Zoro was already halfway back to the woods.
He came back a few minutes later, Brook defying the laws of nature by spurting blood from every hole in his face and splattering it onto his savior.
"Never in my life…have I seen anything…so beautiful. Although I have no eyes-"
"I DARE YOU TO MAKE A SKULL JOKE IN THIS KIND OF STUPID SITUATION YOU DUMBASS."
Zoro kicked him to where Chopper was caring for the fallen and dashed back in.
Cook…he may not even still be alive…
He sidled up to Sanji and kneeled down to pick him up, the blonde's hand shakily grasping his forearm.
"It's something…you need to see…" he said softly, tears streaming out of his eyes. "Though I fucking hate you…it's an experience…that every man should-"
"DO NOT CLUMP ME WITH THE REST OF YOU MORONS," Zoro shouted, now more ticked off than ever. "YOU'RE LUCKY I EVEN CAME BACK HERE TO-"
"So this is where you were hiding," came the most frightening voice Zoro could have ever conceived. His head slowly turned towards the very angry, very naked owner of the voice.
"Mellorine~" Sanji whispered before slipping into a coma, tears of blood rolling down his face.
Zoro was not so fortunate.
"Hancock, if you wanted to shower, ya coulda just done it on the ship ya know," Luffy said critically, poking Sanji's unconscious body and shaking his head at the shape his crew was in.
"She probably didn't expect everyone to peep on her, Senchou," Robin pointed out. Hancock was visibly distraught that Luffy was upset anyway, so she said nothing.
"When there's a nice water fall on the tropical island you stop at," Nami defended, "isn't it a woman's romance to bathe in it?"
"We don't mind," Usopp, Franky and Brook said in unison, sighing contentedly.
"By the way," Luffy said, frowning, "where's Zoro?"
Women are all…
Zoro awoke to the sound of crashing water, pinned high up on the rock behind the water fall with his own swords. Though she'd had the courtesy to leave his robe on, the breeziness he was feeling in the groin area told him it would be that much more embarrassing to have to have someone come save…er…help him.
He looked down and stared warily at the third sword's passive aggressive positioning, mere inches from his unclothed manhood.
Jesus. I didn't even look on purpose. I just went along with them thinking we were looking for more food...
The brief image of pale ass flashed across his mind, and the next time he licked his lips, he became aware of the embarrassingly slow coming nosebleed he'd developed. He sighed, utterly defeated.
Women are all after the blood of men.