A/N: Inferno's last prompt!

'Clubbing gone wrong'

"She's really awful at this whole 'real world experiences' thing, isn't she," Usopp muttered, himself and Zoro staring awkwardly at Hancock's attempts to dance. Nami and Robin were doing their best to help her, but all she seemed to want to do was follow Luffy around and act like she'd acquired turrets.

"Maybe everyone should've taken my advice and not come here," the swordsman said pointedly, glancing over at Sanji. The cook was passed out in the booth next to them with a drying nosebleed and Chopper busy fanning him with a handkerchief.

"We didn't know this would be so over stimulating at the time," the sniper grumbled, placing his pouting face into his palm and turning away from the marimo. "I thought it would be going a bit…differently."

"Nami-nee really wanted to come anyway," Franky added, scooting into their booth, the colored lights of the club bouncing off the visible metal on his person and painting him rainbow pretty. Because his bright, sequin encrusted speedo wasn't enough. "Think she said somethin' about teaching Hancock to dance."

"Well, she still sucks at it," Zoro said flatly. They all turned to make sure Hancock still sucked at dancing. Yep. No change there.

"She just needs to loosen up a bit and have more fun," Robin said, shrugging into the booth beside Franky and blinking when everyone gave her a suspicious stare. "Well, I like to listen and see if perhaps you're talking about me," she offered with a good natured smile.

"Well, we're all acting pretty lame for pirates in a club," Usopp pointed out. "Anybody up for an energy shot?" he asked, shaking the baggy in his hand enticingly. "It's orgaaaniiiiic~"

"I don't want your drugs," Zoro grumbled, the sniper's face becoming horrified.

"How dare you! This is a natural stimulant, akin to caffeine. It's like drinking espresso."

"I want some," Robin asked, Franky giving Usopp the 'ok' too. Zoro grunted again and waved Usopp away, ready to just go back to the ship.

"Like I said, everyone else is getting some too, so it's not a big deal. I took Zoro's back first because he didn't want any," explained Usopp, Nami sweaty and sick of trying to get Hancock to do anything besides follow Luffy around.

"She could use some of that. It makes you hyper?"

"This one is different. I gave it to the bartender to…wait…"

He took a baggy of white powder out of his pocket and paled. He moved over to the guy behind the counter and flailed.

"WHOA. Wait. I made a mistake. I wanted THIS one," he emphasized, holding up the baggy in his hand, "in this batch."

"Hm? I thought you wanted these ones straight?"

Usopp furrowed his brows and thought for a moment. "…Straight? Where's the other baggy I gave you to use?"

"I put it in that first order you gave me," the bearded man said, gesturing over to the group's table. "You wanted it for your green friend, right?"

Usopp fell over, his soul threatening to evacuate his body. Nami frowned.

"Usopp what's wrong?"

"That wasn't energy powder," he said, now looking around desperately for Zoro, "it's my advanced chili powder."

"…Chili…powder?"

"Yeah. It works a lot like the energy powder at first, and then-"

There came loud cheering and enthusiastic whistles from dance floor, Usopp immediately getting a bad feeling.

"ATTA BOY ZORO-ANIKI!" Franky screamed, pelvic thrusting with the music as he and the rest of the club watched Zoro circle an extremely put off Hancock, a rose he'd snatched from out of nowhere between his teeth. The DJ conveniently knew exactly what kind of sexy latin music would be perfect for this situation. (That's what they pay him for, duh...)

"Te miro, Feria de la Flores," he purred, "y sienten la necesidad de quitarme la ropa." He took her boldly by the waist and swept her off her feet, eyes smoldering in the reflection of her extremely confused blue ones. "Venir. Vamos a hacer el amor con la pista de baile."

"Huh?" Nami said, sweat dropping. Robin brought a hand to her mouth with a saucy, 'oh my'.

And make love to the dance floor they did. People came in from off the streets just to see Zoro whip Hancock around like a rag doll, Luffy's cheering keeping her from beating her antagonist shitless and the effects of Usopp's drugs keeping Zoro from comprehending his own actions. Coincidentally, they were both already light on their feet and sexy to boot. They parted when he made his way to the edge of the crowd and regarded her with eyes of lust. And then, like a light switch, he was back.

"Uh-oh," Usopp cringed...

"It's hot," the swordsman panted, clawing at his skin, face going beyond flushed and eyes widening in confusion, "Why's it so goddamn hot..."

"What the fuck did you GIVE him?" Nami asked incredulously, the crowd's noise soaring as Zoro flung his shirt off and breathed like he'd been running for days. The music picked up to match his screams of urgency.

"AREN'T YOU HOT?" Zoro screamed at Hancock over the music. "IT'S REALLY HOT."

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON ABOUT?" she screeched.

"There's two parts to the quirks of the flower that powder comes from," Usopp explained, watching as Hancock's jaw dropped and her face reddened while Zoro went about screaming and stripping. "First part; adapted language from the area it was cultivated from and heightened hormonal action."

"And part two is stripping, right?" Nami said flatly, both of them watching Zoro soar out the window under Hancock's fist with his boxer's half off.

"Well, now it is," Usopp giggled, he and the rest of the crew pretty much dying of laughter as they watched Hancock chase Zoro's half naked, understandably confused self through the streets. Usopp couldn't help feeling a bit guilty, though.

Luffy laughed hysterically and attempted to strip as well, earning a fist to the face from his navigator.

"Whatever you did, Sniper-kun," Robin laughed mirthfully, "we're all definitely having fun now."

Usopp smirked and wandered into the night with everyone else to watch the falling out. Maybe it wasn't too late to say he did this on purpose.