AN: Got the meaning of NEST from , just search for it. Seen a couple different answers, but I'll go with what it says.
Reviews: Thanks for all the reviews!

Sergeant Robert Epps was determined to find the civilian who had ruined his nice, relaxing holiday before Will did, if only so he could strangle the little brat himself. Thank God that Sam let slip that he knew the little civilian the Autobots had picked up, because that meant he could text the boy's girlfriend and ask her stuff about the civi. He'd already gotten the basic facts from Mikaela, who he'd been texting.

So he knew a few things. The civi's name was Miles and he was a brat like Sam. In fact, according to Mikaela, the two were friends. Went to the same school, the same grade, the same age. It had taken Mikaela a few texts to figure out who Epps was talking about, given that he didn't know much more than it was a guy, around Sam's age, and apparently had been there for a few days. He was somewhat happy he'd been talking to her through text instead of on the phone, though, because the girl had sounded angry at the civi for some reason.

Epps got to the Autobot base first, and the first place he went, instead of finding the civilian, was the little room next to the Medbay that the Autobots had been using to hold their dead comrade. He was never quite sure if it was supposed to be their morgue or a storage room, since it tended to be used for both, but he never really asked for clarification. Epps only half believed them when they said Jazz was back, though the Autobots would have no reason to lie.

And as it would turn out this was a good choice, because the civilian was in there. He couldn't exactly figure out what the kid was trying to do, though. He was under the berth that Jazz's body had been on, looking to be reaching for something on the ground and ready to pick it up with this rag he was using as something to block direct contact with his skin, but he was hesitating.

"Miles, right?" Epps asked, trying not to laugh when the teen jumped, whirling and staring at him with wide eyes. It definitely had to be the civi, he doubted any of the Autobots would make their holoforms look damaged without a good reason, and this kid looked like he'd gone a round with someone and ended up on the bad end of it. "I'm Sergeant Robert Epps, but you can just call me Epps."

"Uh, nice to meet you, dude. Could you pick that up for me?" Miles asked, pointing to this object Epps could barely see.

Miles had decided, what with Optimus and the other Autobots now being distracted by the threat of this Lennox dude, that he'd just pop in the little room Jazz had been kept in to check for the shard. Sure enough, it was there, lying under the berth, but he had no intention of picking it up barehanded. So he grabbed a rag instead, but just as he went to pick it up Epps scared the shit out of him. Up until he whirled around, to run away, he'd thought the shard was making noise again and was about to do something to him. Again.

Miles was so not up to deal with the magic doohickey just yet, so he asked Epps to pick it up. Epps walked over to the teen, then over to where he pointed at, noticing a shard of something reflecting in the light. It was tiny and easily overlooked, and the Sergeant picked it up, examining it curiously. It didn't take him long to figure out to what the small piece belonged to, having seen the bigger, and whole, version of it up close and personal before. It was a piece of the Allspark shard, something he'd heard Optimus say they had, though neither he or Will had been allowed to see it at the time. And now here he was, holding it. He would have felt a little happy if Miles didn't look half afraid of the little thing.

"It's a piece of metal, kid." Epps pointed out, "It ain't gonna bite you."

"That's what you think…" Miles muttered, and Epps stared at him for a moment before shrugging it off. He'd gone a bit weird after the Autobots, too. Once, about a week after Mission City when he had still been too hyped up to sleep, he had thought his toaster was a Decepticon because it kept burning his toast.

"What do you want this for?" Epps asked, holding the piece of Allspark out to him, though Miles just shook his head no. "You know what this is, right?"

"Yeah, I do. Optimus wanted to see if it could boost the signal enough to send the message out further into space," Miles explained shortly, and it was a good thing that Epps was in the loop, because otherwise he would have been completely lost.

"If my Captain doesn't have his metal balls for you, first." Epps snorted, "You practically scream trouble."

"I'm sorry?" Miles blinked at him in a surprised manner, and Epps grinned.

"Hippie hair," Epps reached out and flicked some of the blonde locks that were falling into the kid's face, making Miles make go cross eyed and then frown at him. "And what the hell even happened to your face?"

"Well, some of it is Sam. He got mad and punched me in the face. Nose, to be precise…" Miles said, shrugging.

"Sam got angry?" Epps asked in disbelief.

"I know, right?" Miles laughed, "I think that was the first time I've ever seen him legit pissed at me, and believe me, I don't plan on seeing it again."

Epps shook his head, "We're talking about the same kid, right? My Sam can't even watch Shaun of the Dead without being afraid."

"He sucks at horror movies," Miles snickered a bit, "Just makes him the perfect target for after, or whenever. Just standing behind a door, not saying anything, and letting him see you will scare the crap out of him."

"Really?" Epps smirked, "Sounds like I'm not going to be missing that much fun time from vacation, then."

"Vacation?" Miles asked curiously.

"Yeah, we're on leave, or were on leave…" Epps noted the confused expression on the teen's face, "You do know we work here, right?"

"Well, kinda." Miles gestured to his clothes, "I knew I was borrowing these clothes from someone, but the Autobots are really bad about not going into detail, and I was a bit more interested in them than a fellow Homo sapien."

Epps nodded sympathetically, he would have been the same way had he been a civi. "Well, I told you who I am, and then my Captain, William Lennox, will be here in a bit, too. There are more of us, of course, but as we fought directly alongside the Autobots in Mission City and dealt with that damned Scorpion thing, me and Will are in charge of NEST. NEST stands for Non-biological Extraterrestrial Species Treaty, and we're basically the summation of it. We hold the Autobot's hands for American, and sometimes world, affairs, and try to get them and the world to understand each other a little bit better. The Autobot's liaisons and such, if you want. This includes a shit ton of paperwork, little action outside of Ratch's and Hide's yelling matches, and so much government mumbo jumbo my head hurts just thinking about it."

"Mm," Miles made a small noise in the back of his throat. "You make that sound awesome and awful at the same time. Optimus already admitted that this Captain Lennox is the big wizard who can ground them. Does that make you guys birds and the Autobots your flock?"

"That was a rather fowl joke." Epps tried his hardest to keep a straight face, but Miles burst out laughing at the bad pun, and the Sergeant grinned, laughing himself.

Something had to be up with the teen if the Autobots took him in, and Sam punching him only really explained the nose, and what looked like it could go towards a newly formed black eye or just fade away before it got to serious, a sign from the nose most likely, since the other eye was already bruised before it, as far as he could tell. He doubted it had anything to do with the Decepticons, seeing as the Autobots wouldn't have hesitated to inform them on such a manner, but yet they hadn't said a word about this civi.

But Epps decided he could wait until Will got there and talked to Optimus to find out what exactly. His Captain was pissed, mainly because he had to leave his wife and daughter early, but also because paperwork sucked big time, and when it came to surprises from the Autobots they were never good. He'd have to make sure that Will got to the Autobots before he got to Miles, just in case the Captain was too annoyed to go easy on the civi.

"Should we go turn this in to my little chick?" Epps questioned with a grin, and Miles snickered and nodded.

The Sergeant led the way out of the room, Miles following close behind, but running in to his back when Epps froze. Will had just pulled up, was even climbing out of his jeep, and looked ready to come right towards them, a look that even Megatron might fear on his face. A quick glance around revealed Bumblebee, the Scout seeing the same thing he did, but the Autobot was just far away enough to be no help.

So maybe he kind of overreacted, but he wasn't really in the mood to deal with a pissed off Will Lennox. The last time his Captain had been in a seriously bad mood and Epps managed to piss him off he'd ended up with so much paperwork that he hadn't slept for three days straight. His only relief was in the form of Ratchet, the Medic demanding he take a break, which he gladly did.

He grabbed Miles, shoving a hand over the teen's mouth so the kid wouldn't squeak or anything and give their position away, pulling them both into a shadowed corner. It wasn't really effective, but it did the job, seeing as Will didn't see Miles just yet, and it gave time for Bumblebee to call to the Captain and ask how his day was, the Scout looking genuinely pleased to see him. Epps sighed in relief, because the Scout could cheer up anyone, and not even Will could resist him.

Miles inhaled sharply, half ready to give the older man a piece of his mind, because why the hell was everyone overreacting? He'd have to meet Will soon anyway and the man didn't seem that intimidating. And he would have said something, if the hand that Epps had used to cover his mouth hadn't had the piece of the Cube in it, and Miles accidentally inhaled it as he breathed in.

Miles choked on it, swallowing reflexively, and Epps seemed to realize what was happening just as it went down, the Sergeant hissing out an 'oh shit'. Miles would have agreed if he could have brought himself to talk, the shard going down like a piece of chip that had been eaten badly and was too large, making his throat raw, and making him swallow more just to try to get it down. But it wouldn't go down, too large for the constricting passageway, and Miles nearly panicked before he realized he could still get some air in past it.

"Shit, shit, wait, I'll do the Heimlich, just give me a sec-!" Epps went to grab the boy, but Miles did what he'd always done whenever something was too large and stuck in his throat, like the not so little pills his mom would give him when he was sick with something like the cold, pretending to gulp water instead of swallow.

And it went down, making Miles wince. "Too late."

"Oh. Fuck, right, uh… Try to throw it up!"

"I can't throw up on command!"

"Well then stick your finger in the back of your throat and hit your gag reflex!"

"I don't have a gag reflex!"

"Sonnabitch, kid, really?" Epps groaned, "The first person I meet without a gag reflex and it's a fucking guy and a brat."

Miles made a face, because it wasn't too hard to figure out exactly what the older man was commenting on. He decided to keep the fact that he could fit his hand into his mouth to himself; it had been bad enough when he and Sam had reached puberty and figured out exactly what that could mean.

Epps stared at the younger man wordlessly for a moment, "Well… how bad could it be?"

"Given that it's a part of an alien artifact that was used to make babies and bring the dead to life, and it brought Jazz back even though it's such a small piece of it?" Miles retorted dully, trying not to panic. Where the hell was Optimus or Ratchet when he needed them?

"So does that mean you'll be able to make their babies for them?" Epps asked, trying to make sure the kid didn't panic, but Miles looked horrified instead. He hadn't been told exactly what went down with Jazz being revived, and didn't know that was a bad thing to say.

"Ratchet!"

"Shit, no, don't tell, Ratchet'll have my balls!"

"Fuck that, I want it outta me! He can have your balls on a necklace for all I care!"

"Just let me Heimlich you!"

"Get away from me!"

"So where is this boy?" Will growled, trying not to grit his teeth.

About four in the afternoon Captain William Lennox's day had taken a spectacular dive. Instead of being at home on leave with his two wonderful, beautiful, ladies, he was now back on the Autobot base, bag packed just in case, despite the fact that he told Sarah he had clothes already there. Which turned out to be a good thing because apparently they'd been letting this civi use his clothes.

He'd met Bumblebee first, the Scout taking him to Optimus. And of course the Medic, the Weapons Specialist, the newly revived Saboteur, and Sam was with the Prime, all of them greeting him, and getting Will introduced to Jazz. That was all well and good, but the Autobots were being annoyingly tightlipped about why there was an unknown civi on base, all five and Sam currently following him as he went in search for the kid.

Hopefully he'd find his wayward Sergeant as well, seeing as Epps had made it there before him but only Bumblebee mentioned spotting him.

"He's right around the corner; his signature's being picked up along with Robert's." Ratchet informed him.

Will stalked around the corner, Optimus and Sam hot on his heels, and froze. Epps was certainly with the unknown civi alright; if the fact that he appeared to be molesting the poor teen was anything to go by. The civi was limp in Epps' arms, not helping the older man support his weight at all, a pained grimace on his face as Epps squeezed his midriff, eyes tightly closed. If Will didn't know the Autobots, and Sam, so well, he would have picked the civi out as a trouble maker. He certainly looked like one with that face. It looked like he had one black eye, another possibly forming, and something had happened to his nose. And the hair. Will had been raised old fashioned, and even in his rebellious days his mother would have never let his hair get that long.

"What the hell are you doing to him, Robbie?" Will hissed, moving forward a bit more.

"The Heimlich!" Epps gave another squeeze, not even looking up. The teen in his arms hissing out something that sounded distantly like several swear words, giving every indication he could breathe just fine.

Will narrowed his eyes, "He's not choking!"

"No, but he needs to throw up! He swallowed the s-!" Epps stopped short when Miles squirmed again, trying to get away now that there was an audience. "Stop squirming, dammit!"

"Swallowed what?" Ratchet asked.

Epps and Miles froze, both looking up to see that the Autobots and Sam were with Will. Epps swallowed hard, looking horrified, but Will noted the teen looked almost relieved to see the Autobots. His Sergeant let the blonde go, and the civi stumbled right towards him, stopping only when hazel eyes fell on Will. Will could practically read the teen's expression in the short second that passed; the teen was sizing him up. He was only slightly surprised, then, when the boy immediately straightened his back, doing his best to mime a respectful posture that he'd never really been taught.

"What's your name, kid?" Will had been told his name, of course, but he'd been too angry to remember it, and better the civi tell him himself.

"Miles Lancaster," Miles hesitated for just a second before tacking on a 'sir'.

Will made sure to stand at his full height, arms behind his back as he narrowed his eyes at the teen. Epps had once said he looked intimidating like this, and intimidating was good. It got answers.

"Do you know who I am?"

"Ironhide's charge, and the Doomsayer, apparently." Miles replied without hesitation.

Will could hear Sam make a choking sound behind him, and behind Miles Epps' eyes had grown two times bigger than normal. Will fought off a grin, instead raising an eyebrow. The blonde wasn't one to be intimidated, that could be seen already, but he was respectful, to an extent, and seemed to be examining Will as much as he was examining him.

"And who told you the last one, kid?" Will asked, trying to keep the stern look on.

"My name is Miles, Captain Lennox. I would appreciate if you called me that."

"Miles, then." Will agreed, slightly taken aback. Maybe he was just used to Sam and Mikaela, who didn't really care what Will called them. "Now, who said I'm the Doomsayer?"

"Well," Miles tossed a glance at Epps over his shoulder, then a glance at each individual Autobot. "You're the man in charge, I guess. You get to ground the bad little kiddies if you don't like their reason for me."

Will had a harder time fighting off a grin at the idea of grounding the Autobots, "And will I like your reason for being with the Autobots?"

"Optimus Prime kidnapped me, I didn't really have a say." Miles shrugged, smirking.

"Could we please not use the term kidnap?" Optimus said immediately, and Will hid a grin behind a fake cough into his hand. The Prime's tone was just too good; he didn't think he'd ever really heard the Prime sound embarrassed. "I prefer the term… Well…"

"Can we just admit you kidnapped the boy and get it over with?" Ironhide growled, "And you, kid, stop making Optimus get flustered. We'll be here all night because of it."

"Right," Will said before Miles could reply, shooting a warning glance at Ironhide to tell the mech to shut up. He wasn't sure if the mech used the term 'kid' just to prove he could without Miles saying anything or not, but it was interesting. That could mean a couple of things, but Will was mainly assuming that Miles either didn't have the guts to ask the same of the Autobots, or liked and respected them enough to not mind the slightly disrespectful nickname. "Am I going to like why he kidnapped you?"

It was the first time Miles had truly hesitated the whole conversation, the teen glancing up at Optimus, and Will couldn't tell if he was searching for guidance, or looking for some sort of reassurance. That told him even more than the kid thing had, really. He didn't look to Sam, who Will already knew he went to school with and claimed to be his best friend. He looked to Optimus. Will wondered what that could mean, that a teenager, little more than a kid, would look to a being from another planet before he looked to his human best friend.

"He's a father, right?" Miles asked softly, and Will raised both eyebrows at this. A glance behind Miles revealed that Epps was just as lost at the question as he was.

"Yes," Ratchet replied.

"But that doesn't mean-" Ironhide jumped in quickly, almost sounding like he was trying to defend Will, only for Miles to shake his head and the Weapons Specialist to fall silent.

"It can mean everything, sometimes." Miles tossed the mech a toothy grin, before looking back at Will. "I think you'd approve of it, Captain Lennox. You seem like a good man."

"I'd be more inclined to agree with you if I knew the reason," Will commented dryly, wondering what was going on. He turned slightly so he could look at the Autobots and even Sam. Sam and Optimus looked close to speaking for Miles, but both were hesitating, obviously unsure whether it was needed. "From your own mouth, and no more pussy footing around."

"Will-" Sam started worriedly, but Miles waved him away.

"No pussy footing around? Then the short summary: I was running away from home and Optimus picked me up, eventually figuring out that my father abuses me, and brought me here after knocking me out with some gas." Miles said simply, and Will didn't try to look anything but stunned. Then Miles turned his head to look at Ratchet, "Oh, and I just swallowed the Shard. Is there something we can do about that?"

With that, everyone and mech started talking at once.

"WHAT?" Ratchet was very close to screeching.
"What?" Optimus asked in shock, just as Jazz asked: "Does this mean he's gonna make ah Sparklings now?"
"That's what I said!" Epps grinned up at the Saboteur, but then he looked to Bumblebee. "That's bad, right?"
Bumblebee shrugged helplessly, "There's only four options. He digests it, which I doubt would happen, it passes through him, it somehow manages to stay in his stomach, or we cut it out."
"Cut it out?" Miles yelped, "You're not cutting anything outta me!"
"Now, Miles, we would not go to such measures just yet." Optimus said gently, trying to calm the teen and picking him up.
"I ain't shiftin' through that boys crap, Prime." Ironhide grunted, mostly serious and partly joking.
"Ironhide!" Ratchet hissed at the mech, "Have some tact!"

Will was too shell-shocked to think or say anything just yet, but in the next few minutes he wasn't really given the opportunity. Ratchet immediately snatched Miles from Optimus, neither the teen nor the prime protesting, and began scanning him. Optimus hovered just over Ratchet's shoulder, optics flickering in his own scans, though he could never get as in depth as Ratchet. Sam walked up beside Will, giving the shocked Captain a pitying look, despite the fact that he looked mildly disturbed and surprised himself.

"Ignore the crazies, Will." Sam tried to joke, glancing at the blonde in Ratchet's grasp. "Can you do something about Miles staying here? Optimus' hoping you can make it a permanent stay, somehow, with some government mumbo jumbo, so he doesn't have to face his dad again."

"I…" Will scratched the back of his head for a moment, for once at a loss. He could see the hopeful look on Sam's face at the idea, but he had no idea what to say. Epps, however, had some idea what to do. The Sergeant came up on his Captain's other side and tossed an arm around his shoulder, grinning.

"I think it's a damn good thing I made him swallow that shard, then, eh?" Epps asked, but of course, like all horrible things that happened to be overheard, this happened at one of the few moments of silence, all the Autobots now conversing through comm instead. Which meant Ratchet heard Epps perfectly.

"Made him?" Ratchet asked, voice surprisingly calm, but fire in his optics. Not even Ironhide had gotten that particular look yet, and the Weapons Specialist quickly moved on the other side of their Scout just in case he somehow earned the Medic's anger as well.

"Uh…" Epps looked around for someone to rescue him, but both Will and Sam moved as far away as possible, too. "Funny thing, that…"

"Oh, yes, Robert, I do imagine it's very funny." Ratchet growled, "Why don't you explain this occurrence to me so I can enjoy it as well?"

"Ruh-oh, Raggy…" Sam muttered under his breath as Epps attempted to explain what happened, Miles making sure not to help a bit, and Will snickered softly.

The Captain was slightly relieved, though, because at least Epps had found an easy way out for Miles to stay on. Since Miles had swallowed the shard he was technically under threat from all Decepticons, even if they didn't think there were that many, if any, on Earth, and the likelihood of them even being able to figure it out was slim to known. The government, thankfully, was fairly ignorant about the Autobots, something Will used to his advantage. That only left two problems for him: finding out why the hell they weren't just turning the bastard father in, and if the shard could possibly affect Miles in any way, shape, or form.

"Hey, Hide?" Will called, walking towards the Weapons Specialist. "Why aren't we just turning his father in?"

"As much as I would love to, William, it is complicated." Ironhide growled a bit, "The boy does not wish for us to do so, as it would upset his mother, who is pregnant. Ratchet and Optimus agree with the boy for some reason, because of some psychological crap the Medic spouted."

"And what do you think?" Will frowned, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I think that there is no need now that he is with us. We would not allow the father to hurt him anymore, and Optimus has seemed to grow quite attached to him." Ironhide picked his charge up, "I was the one who suggested 'adopting' him in the first place, if Optimus liked him enough to kidnap him. And now the shard's reacted to him when it wouldn't work for anyone else and your Sergeant was stupid enough to make him swallow it."

"Gives us the easy excuse of Decepticon threat, though."

Ironhide grunted, "It won't be so easy if the Decepticons really catch wind of it, though. Or if it somehow reacts badly and harms the boy."

"Way to be an optimist, there, Hide." Will grinned, patting the mech on the arm.

"I'm a realist, Will."

"No, you're just optimistic about kicking Decepticon ass." Will smirked as his mech rolled his optics.

"There's that, too." Ironhide agreed after rolling his optics, "It's been too long since they acted up. It worries me."