Another lengthy update. I've noticed i gained some more followers and some of you guys even reviewed! Aww, you just made my day you know that? So i made another chapter for you guys as soon as i got home from my last exam - yes my last you heard it - and typed it all out. This is some Dawn/Faith time and it offers some insight into Buffy's mindset as to paint a less one sided picture about what happened last chapter. No worries there will be Buff/Faith interaction soon enough. And add a pissed off Cordelia with a sexy smile and you've got a room filled with dynamite just waiting to blow some drama around! Anyways, enjoy!

Last time:

I just looked at her with a curious expression before dragging her through my bedroom door.

"Well if next time your fingers stay out of my Gigantic Sundae at Mosey's I won't have to lick your skin."

Cordelia just chuckled as she closed the door.

"Now where's the fun in that Slayer?

I sighed as she closed the door behind me before I allowed myself to fall face forward onto the bed. Shit well that hurt. I groaned into the blankets and smacked my hand down hard on the duvet in frustration. The bruises and internal bleeding from my past injuries were better than before t-didn't mean they were nonexistent either.

"You better watch where you land slayer, not all things are soft you know."

I smiled in the duvet and allowed a chuckle to escape my lips.

"Yeah tell me 'bout it. Some things hit hard."

I heard her groan before I even turned around to see her eye roll. I let out another sigh as my back met the mattress and I propped myself up on my elbows.

"She was out of line in there Faith. She had no right, NO RIGHT to attack you like that."

I shook my head and refused to meet her eyes, self-loathing filling my very soul. I had done so many bad things. Tears welled in my eyes and my heart lurched in my chest. I killed people. I could almost taste the bile in my throat, a faint metallic taste reminded my teeth to stop chewing the inside of my cheek long enough to gather my bearings before I sat up straight and met the concerned eyes with a leveled stare. I was a murderer.

"Except she has. She HAS every right to still be mad at me for what I did back when C. I threatened her, her family and her friends. I made it my mission to destroy what she was about, what she was so desperate to defend. I nearly successfully killed Angel. ANGEL, our dearest friend!"

She grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me forcefully.

"AND HE FORGAVE YOU FAITH! He bloody forgave you. Wesley forgave you. Willow forgave you. I forgave you. Xander forgave you. Dawn forgave you. Dammit you have to forgive yourself as well! You can't keep holding on to it as if it justifies anything bad happening to you right now. It's not some excuse to allow people to just stomp all over you and poke at your wounds while they're at it! It's not because one person, one SINGLE person decides she can't let go after all these years, after all your efforts and with both Angel and The Gang to vouch for you that you should have to put up with her shit because it is damn abuse. It is fucking abuse and after the life you've had to live I won't allow you to be the victim of it anymore, not even willingly."

I felt her fingers squeeze my biceps as she settled in my lap, curling into me, pulling me close as her nose nuzzled my neck. I wrapped my arms around her and allowed us to fall back onto the bed. I coddled her by my side and turned her around so I could spoon her. As I held her in my arms and felt her sobs shake through me I realized that no matter how much I still believed I was deserving of this, Cordelia didn't. I could tell how much this was hurting her. I already saw it more than once when I drank myself into a stupor and sprouted myself loathing about for the entire gang to hear. The pity and sympathy had long become compassion. Hurting me meant hurting my friends, my family and I refused to do it to them anymore. Cordelia was right. They had forgiven me and while I might not see how I could ever forgive myself I knew deep down in my heart I was no longer that dark, vengeful young girl anymore. I had been so young when I first got here, I had been so impressionable but now I was an adult, I had faced my time and did all I could to fix what I had done. Nothing more would help undo what harm I caused. Nothing can bring back the dead.

I wrapped her a little closer and whispered soft assurance in her ear and as her breathing evened out and she pressed further into me I swore to do better, to be better. Because I might not have enough time left to forgive myself, I damn well sure had enough time to make this as easy and painless for my family as possible. I just love them to fucking much to give in so easily. As I felt my own eyes droop I found myself allowing the angry thoughts to be voiced for the first time in my life, as the hateful words fell from my lips unbeknownst to me being heard by Cordelia who wasn't yet totally asleep in my arms.

"Fuck you Buffy. I won't let you win this time. I won't allow you to chase me away again. Fuck you."

As I drifted off I could faintly recall a small whisper but I supposed I was already entering the land of dreams since there was no one else in the room except for C and I.

"Atta Slayer. It's about damn time."

A soft knocking on the door had me mumbling something incoherent which could have very well been interpreted as a 'come in'. Anyways I cracked one eye open to watch the door open slowly as a shuffling Dawn made her way in. When her eyes fell on the still exhausted Cordelia passed out in my arms I saw her frowning. Then her lips curled downwards and she looked away before allowing her piercing blue eyes to flicker from her sleeping face to mine – which was barely awake mind you.

"What happened?"

I sighed not feeling all that up to it. As I loosened my hold on Cordelia I pushed myself to sit up against the headboard. In her sleep however it seemed she didn't want to let go of me too easily as her arms flung themselves over my waist as she turned into my hips and tightened her hold which caused her head to fall directly into my lap. I smirked, hoping she would wake up in this very position just so I could annoy her with cocky and inappropriate comments when she did. But when I caught the hurt in Dawn's eyes and her foot tapping impatiently I realized maybe that wasn't such a good idea after all. Damn what is it with these Summer girls and their short temper?

"Well?"

She raised her eyebrow in a very intimidating – never mind sexy – way and tried to smooth her face over with a slightly cold and detached look. But she couldn't fool me as her eyes kept flickering to the sleeping brunette that was curled on the blankets.

"Your sister – well she said some things at breakfast. It didn't go over so well and we uhm – got a bit ya know heavy and we feel asleep..."

I shrugged my shoulders as her defensive stance suddenly disappeared and she moved to the foot of the bed and sat herself down.

"Oh. You just fell asleep?"

Her eyes looked tiredly at me with such a maturity that I felt my heart hurt at the sight of such an old soul staring back at me.

"Yeah Kid. She got tired from the crying and all."

The kid really reminded me so much of myself that I couldn't help but feel extremely protective of her – even if she wasn't my little sister. It wasn't something I could help. Not that I wanted to either.

"What did she say, my sister?"

I shrugged and looked at the floor before combing my fingers through C's ebony locks. It calmed me down just as much as she likes doing it.

"Some comment about – uhm well my not so nice past."

Dawn raised her eyebrow again but her face wasn't cold this time, she was angry, bordering on livid in fact. Ow shit man, not again.

"What. Did. She. Say?"

I swallowed and kicked my inner self for succumbing to the Summer's charms so quickly. Pussy.

"Uhm- well you see I might've said something about a fork breathing cuz well Miss FancyPants over here was gripping it for dear life after Will – Red, pissed her off and – ah fuck. Buffy said something along the lines of me suddenly caring about things that don't even need breathing when I didn't mind killing 'actual human beings'. Or some shit like that."

Dawn gasped and immediately moved to my side, gripping my hand so hard that if I wasn't a slayer I probably would've said it hurt. Thank god again for those perks. As soon as she saw me opening my mouth to protest she shook her head and stood up, pacing across the room in an agitated manner. I could see her wringing her hands and calming herself down with every breath to make sure she was able to spit out the words that were rapidly increasing in her brain by the second.

"That, that was out of line. Though I can't say I'm not surprised that she burst like this. It's happened before. When I came to wake you, I – I noticed something was off with her again. She was having one of those bad mornings. I could tell."

I just looked at her confused. Dawn caught my expression and sighed again.

"I'm not saying this as an excuse Faith. I want to make it clear that what my sister did this morning, what she said to you is wrong. It is wrong on so many levels because I for one already know that she forgave you. She did so a long time ago. She's just a stubborn woman. It runs in our blood I'm afraid."

I smiled at that and nodded at her to encourage her in her speech.

"But she's been, emotionally unbalanced for a while now. It's been better and it's been worse. Ever since she died and we – I – ripped her from the heavens things changed about her. I made her suffer an excruciating fate because I was too selfish to let her go. We all were."

I watched her face go through various expressions. Her eyes watered and her mouth frowned in self-loathing. Her gaze focusing on the window for a moment, staring out into a faraway land of a time she was remembering that I couldn't see. Her stance suggested hurt and grief as she wrapped her arms around herself and her back was half turned towards me, shame rolling off of her in waves.

"She pulled through, more for me than anything else. Then The First came back and so did Angel. It all threw her for a loop once again. I could tell she was tired but she's our precious hero so she stepped up to the plate and with our help – and you guys from LA – we managed to save the planet once more. But I could tell she was damn sick of being the slayer, she was done being the hero to save the world from another apocalypse."

I nodded, remembering overhearing her tell this very fact to Willow back in the bus that was driving toward the nearest hospital. People dying and bleeding out left and right. Magic had only managed to do so much as Will – Red was exhausted from just performing the most powerful magic the world had ever been privy to. After I met up with Angel and Cordelia in the hospital – they flew out there the second they knew where we were – I left with them once again, not saying goodbye to anyone as I already knew, no matter my contribution to the eventual victory, that I wasn't going to be missed.

"So we took off to Italy for a week or two then we ran into some trouble over there and came back. It seemed that no matter where we went, she couldn't escape her fate of being a slayer. So why not agree with Giles new plan to rebuild Sunnydale? Preferably on another hell mouth so we could watch it as well. And then we started the academy for the new slayers and built them on various hell mouths across the globe and sent our best trained ones to lead it over there. She had some complicated romantic entanglements and we were all thrown a bit by them as well as she was. Xan and Anya moved over to England for a while but since she didn't like the weather there they weren't gone for long. Anyways it seemed to all calm down again these last months. No big apocalypses and at least Buffy knew she wasn't alone anymore. But still, it felt as if she was still alone or so she told me. She just felt so lonely all the time."

I watched her desperation, her need for her sister to be okay again. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and comfort her but what could I say? I knew what Buffy was talking about. This was s a lonely road, only we as original slayers would be able to get that.

"And then you came. Along with your complicated past and a new threat. We all remembered how you helped save the world at the big battle. Buffy even said she passed the Scythe to you when she was struck. That in itself was enough to convince even Willow to help you out. If not only under the guise of 'it's what good people do' that they all keep hiding behind."

I snickered at her sarcasm and she grinned at me and shrugged.

"She was pissed to find out that I had been in contact with you for quite a while there."

I shook my head sadly. I never meant for the kid to get into trouble.

"But I told her she wouldn't have understood. I missed you. The monks never gave me bad memories of you, only good ones and I missed those. I needed to have you in my life one way or another and when you got hooked up with Angel and his team I saw my opportunity you know? And to have been of help the way I assisted sometimes, you know with the video calls and the 'live streaming' of your meetings well It gave me that which my sister – even though she promised – hadn't given me. Power, freedom and most of all a purpose. I was tired of being the little kid waiting by the sidelines and watching the big boys and girls play. You guys relied on me sometimes and it felt right. Then Willow even helped sometimes and it just felt right you know? I never doubted that we should have been in each other's lives all along."

I nodded and patted a spot beside me on the bed. Dawn dropped her shoulders and walked over to me as she plopped herself down, allowing her head to rest on my shoulder before glancing at a still sleeping beauty in my arms. Her fingertips danced over her temple and stroked her cheek absentmindedly. I coughed and she startled a bit before her focus was back on continuing her story.

"But Buffy got jealous and we had another massive fight. It wasn't the first and it wouldn't be the last but this time it was even worse than the others. Like your name alone was enough to cause an outburst of 'volcano' Buffy."

I sniggered at her choice of words.

"This leads me to the following question. What happened with my sister this night? Or morning? Y'know before I came to wake you?"

Is sighed and mustered up a bit of courage to open my mouth.

"Your sis and I, we had some big bonding moment last night. She fell asleep in my arms and when we woke up, well we were both a little emotional and we – we made a mistake. It was a misunderstanding cuz we were tired and shit and your sis was being all emotional and it got kinda awkward. She lashed out at me and I let her. She apologized though and we was getting back to our usual rhythm or whatever 'till you burst in and I guess I just noticed she was still a bit off. Wasn't anything big or shit, just y'know emotional."

I felt Dawn nod at my explanation and relief poured out of me in a deep breath. She didn't need to know her sister and I kissed. It was a fluke anyways. Or so I kept insisting. It couldn't be anything else though. Assuming Buffy felt something for me was not only impossible but an outrageous insult to Buffy. How could she feel something for me? I shook my head sadly. She made it perfectly clear at breakfast what she still thought of me.

"That could've triggered it. She's been having more outburst and episode since we first put the spell on you. She's been so worried and emotionally attached to you we all knew it was bound to happen. Which it did, mind you, multiple times. She's been so on edge lately. It's not just what I told you or the fact that you're dying per se, it's something she's hiding. I can feel it. She's in inner turmoil and it has nothing to do with forgiving you cuz like I said, she already did that. It's something deeper, I just can't figure out what."

I frowned.

"Well I can't help you Kid. I wouldn't know either."

She nodded again.

"I gotta get going soon again. Tell Cordy I came by?"

I smiled down at her blue eyes and pressed a soft kiss to her temple before I nodded.

"Sure Kid."

Another longing glance was shot at the brunette in my arms and I made another mental note about it. There was just something about the way she regarded the woman in my arms that spurred on a slight tingle in the back of my neck. What was up with these two?

"Thank you Faith."

I just smiled.

"Ain't no biggie."

She shook her head and disentangled herself from me as she turned to stand.

"No I meant in general."

I looked at her questiongly."

"You saved the world too that day. Ad you've been such a great sister to me and the best friend to Cordy. And Angel too of course. So just, thank you. I don't know if anyone has ever said it but there you have it. You need to hear it just as much as we all did. Thank you."

I felt tears prickle at the corner of my eyes so just nodded and swallowed the lump in my throat. Her arms flew around my neck briefly and she planted a kiss on my cheeks before she wrapped a scarf around her neck and dashed out the door, closing it behind her. God, that Kid was growing up so fast.

So how about it? Any ideas, wishes, comments? R&R! It's like crack to me!

*ps: Cordelia and Faith are not IN love with eachother, they love eachother though and sleep together sometimes because they trust eachother and y'know how you can get all lonesome (and horny) and emotional. But that doesn't mean Cordy won't pull out her flirty side just to piss Buffy off ;)