They had finished off their supper of pan fried potatoes, beans and some jerky put on the barbecue. Jack watched as Ennis rinsed their plates off in the water. Jack, threw some more wood onto the fire. The flames blazed up throwing out heat into the crisp, clear early spring night. He sat back down on a metal chair and picking up the bottle of whiskey, took a swig from it, and passed it to Ennis. Jack rolled a joint, lit it, and handed it Ennis who took a tentative draw.
Jack pulled his thick sheep skin lined parker round him. The nights were already warming up down in Childress, with the promise of lazy summer days ahead. Still feeling chilled, he rubbed the palm of his hand across Ennis's thigh; warm and hard through the faded denim. Since Ennis had told him that Alma was thinking of calling it quits, he had clammed up on him. The news had come out of the blue, and Jack wanted to know more. As soon as Ennis had told him his marriage was in trouble, Jack but he had felt a surge of hope. If Alma wasn't in the picture Ennis may reconsider his proposition of the two of them living together again.
Attempting to open up the conversation, Jack said, "I'll going to Lightning Flat after this . My daddies got a stack of jobs for me to do. You got another job lined up when you get back?"
"Someone I worked for in the Teton's. If I stick this one out there's a chance of me getting made foreman. The boss is looking for a reliable top hand. Maybe Alma would be happy then."
Ennis slunk low in his chair, his hat pulled down over his eyes and swilled the amber liquid round in the bottle.
Jack considering his words carefully, finally said, "All them years you been married... you and Alma might split? Damn I would never have thought it …. and things ain't been going right for some time?
"At first it was just little things….her wanting me to go to church more, get a better job. But now…. Ennis's voice trailed off, he looked pensively away, and took another toke on the joint.
"It don't seem fair that she's unhappy. You always worked hard to provide for her and the girls. The only time you get away is these few we weeks we spend with one another. And she didn't want you coming out here, but you come anyway?"
"I got your postcard back at Christmas, Last time I see you was November. Been waiting to see you for months. To be fair on Alma this was the third job I've had in a year. Now that the girls are growing up they need more clothes and things for school."
"Maybe if things haven't been working out, you can make a fresh start."
Ennis looked miserable, "But what about the girls, Jack. Them girls are the only family I got. She walks out on me the girls go with her."
"Hell that don't change nothing. They're still your girls, you could still help raise them. Just cause the two of you split, it don't mean that you ain't their daddy no longer."
"I don't know. Maybe she wants me out their lives all together. Like I said Jack..She's always angry these days, she gets mad all the time. Last time I got back, after seeing you she asked me why I never bought any fish home. I didn't know what to say. Never asked them questions before. I told what we caught got eaten up. Next thing, she goes and locks herself in the bathroom, I can hear her bawling her eyes out. I wish…" Ennis sat the back in the chair, shoulders hunched, his coat collar pulled up and the brim of his hat pulled down over his forehead. As Jack stared at him he knew, Enns was about to say that he wished that it wasn't Jack that had hold of his heart, that it was Alma instead, but Jack also knew that was never going to happen.
Jack reached out his hand stroked his face, Ennis pushed his hand away and looked down.
"Maybe if you tried talking to her about it."
Ennis looked incredulous "And tell her what? That we don't meet up here to go fishing. What good is that going to do. That's going to make things worse. Once she knows, other people could find out. She goes to church regular. She mixes with that fire and brimstone crowd. Once word gets out…..I still got the girls in Riverton."
"It was just a thought…"
"You already said, Lureen don't know nothing. You don't tell her what you're doing when you come back to Wyoming?"
Jack looked down, He was pretty Lureen already knew what he did when he got up to Wyoming, not that they ever talked much about anything. It was hard getting her to pay attention to anything other than the machinery business.
"No. Hell no." Jack said quickly. He was angry with himself and angry with Ennis. He had wanted talk to Ennis about what future lay ahead for them, but had been caught by his own lie. He was lying again and he was getting tired of it. He threw some more driftwood on to the fire and looked at Ennis's face. His expression was unfathomable.
The sat in silence for a while. Jack got his harmonica out and started playing softly, a Pentecostal hymn that his mother had taught him as a child.
The fire started to die down. Without speaking they both crawled into the tent fully clothed. Ennis wrapped his arms round him and drew him close. Outside the tent, the only sound that could be heard was the fierce rush of water. The remnants of the fire cast shadows of flames which flickered softly against the tarpaulin. Jack leaned against Ennis, enjoying the solid warmth, and could feel his body grow heavy with sleep, and his breathing become soft and regular against his neck. Jack must have drifted off to sleep himself. He became aware of Ennis twisting and moaning in his sleep beside him. Jack placed his hand on Ennis's shoulder and Ennis jerked upright as if fighting something off. Jack cradled Ennis's head in his hands and said, "Come on Ennis …your're alright." In the dark he could just make out his face etched in silvery moon glow.
Ennis took a deep breath and said, "I had this crazy dream. I dreamed that both of us were up on Brokeback. It was back when we were herding sheep. I came back to camp but you weren't there. I could you hear you calling my name and I was looking and looking, but I couldn't find you. You were hollering out my name but I just couldn't get to you."
"I'm right here, Bud," Jack said kissing his temple
"Jack, I thought I'd lost you."
"You ain't never going to lose me. So long as I'm still walking this earth I'll always come back to Brokeback and be with you." Together they lay back down and Ennis rested his head against Jack's chest. Jack stroked his hair. Soon he could feel Ennis's breath slow as he eased back into sleep.
Jack waited until he was sure Ennis was asleep and gently rolled him off of him, and went outside. He lit a cigarette and felt for the Alma's note in his pocket and read it, flicking the lighter on and off, re-reading her words.
They were both caught in a goddamn, dumb ass situation and although he hoped that if he was patient that Ennis would come to his senses and realize it was Jack he should be with, he was losing hope that this would happen, not even if Alma left him. Brokeback Mountain was still the only place Ennis could feel safe enough to be with him and they were both trapped here. He needed to try to change things and find a way out for both of them.
Ennis had always told him the he had Alma and his two girls, and that was why he could not be with Jack. Now it looked as though she was not content with the way things were. Although Ennis had married her after leaving Brokeback. Jack thought back to when he had last seen her, remembering her pinched little face in the dim hallway light of Ennis's apartment. What was she thinking right now? Crying alone in the bathroom, knowing that was something was wrong and not understanding, or bitter and angry; wanting to lash out. Hurt and confused, or wanting vengeance? Wanting to make Ennis feel miserable about meeting him, until Ennis would stop agreeing to meet these few times a year.
He took the note out of his pocket that he had penned to Alma, but had lost his nerve to send to her. He signed it, 'Yours sincerely Jack Twist', and wrote the phone number of his folks ranch in Lightning Flat at the bottom of the page. He tied the note back to the fishing line where Alma's note had been, and stuck it back in the fishing box, hoping that she would come across it. He remembered the same dizzy feeling of trepidation , when unable to forget Ennis, and hearing that he had moved to Riverton, he had sent a post card general delivery, unsure at the time whether it would ever reach him. This was the same act of desperation. But the stakes were high. If Ennis knew that he had gone behind his back, Jack knew he could lose him for good.
Jack saw that Ennis's had left his jacket on one of the folding chairs. He brushed the dew off it and pulled it on, enveloping himself with it. The jacket hung slightly loose around him, but snuggly fitted Ennis's larger frame. Like all Ennis's clothes he had the jacket a long time and Jack had seen on Ennis it through the years they had met up, frayed and soft with wear. Jack stood by the river, staring across the darkened water in the bitter mountain air, towards Brokeback Mountain, which was nothing but a black shadow looming against a dark horizon.
Author's note. I've always wondered how Jack did find out Ennis was in Riverton, after losing contact with him for four years, but I guess that's another fan fiction.