Chap 5: A Tragic Turn of Events
(A/N) Hello everyone! This is going to be purely Link and Dark Link, mainly because I couldn't think of anything for Saria. I feel like this is the trippiest chapter yet. I hope you all enjoy this creepy-ass chapter!
Italics means thoughts or someone is speaking sharply, or it means someone has spoken Hylian. It can also mean a flashback. Bold means an author's note, which I will seldom use. Underlined text implies importance. I am unlikely to remember that. Have fun!
Oh, and I don't own any piece of The Legend of Zelda. I own, literally, more air than Zelda.
Link and Dark Link arose eight hours later on a strange stone surface. Link was the first up, and first to notice it was pitch dark in their current area of operation. "Psst! Dark! Wake up!" he had said. Dark moaned, not knowing the difference between the path and their pitch dark dungeon, considering the fact that his closed eyes are always black as dark matter. "Where are we?" Dark asked when he had blinked a few times after opening his eyes to make sure they were open. "I don't know, but we're on a stone floor. It's rough and jagged, be careful getting up," Link said, remembering the cut he suffered an indeterminable (spelled right, first try) amount of time ago. A light shined above them, making both recoil and cover their eyes. "I flirt, I seduce, and I act sexy, and he rejects me. No one rejects me, hahahaha, nobody rejects me," the young female voice begins to make crying sounds. "For the love of fucking Din! This girl again?!" Dark shouted. "Mina! Let us out, right now!" Link yelled. "Oh, you're awake! Good! Now, you're probably wondering why you're here. You see…-"Link cut her off. "Dark rejected you. We all were there. You don't have to kidnap people just because they don't like you!" Mina held a lantern up, revealing her crazed face, unkempt hair, and a few fresh wounds on her arms. "Oh, you see, that's what I thought. Then this other girl said that I should help them right their wrongs. Right Anim?" Mina said to air. Fuck, Dark and Link thought.
Two days later, Link and Dark were sharing the leg of deer, gratuitously spiced, courtesy of Mina, thinking about what they'd do. Eventually, Link came to a sudden realization. "I could've cast a light spell a long time ago," he said, slightly embarrassed. "Well, do it then. Cover your eyes." Dark replied. "Illuminas spheros," Link whispered. A suddenly bright light appeared before him. "Ah, Din!" Link shouted. Once their eyes had adjusted to the light they began formulating an escape plan. They decided that one would pretend to be injured and, when Mina came to help, they'd jump her. "One flaw. We have light, and Mina will be able to see that neither of us is injured." Link "hmmed" and got an idea. "Senslus daggeros," Link whispered and a dagger appeared in his hand. Dark Link's eyes widened. "Holy shit! What the fuck is that for?!" Dark screamed. Link scoffed. "Calm down. It's enchanted, you won't feel a thing. I swear," Link said in an assuring tone. It's interesting to note that, in Hylian, "senslus" means nothing. It is not a word, it is just gibberish. Dark Link nodded to indicate that he agreed to the unfortunate circumstances before him.
Five minutes later, Dark Link lay on the ground with a dagger in his kidney. "Holy shit that hurts!" Dark Link screamed. "MINA! WE NEED HELP!" Link screamed. Mina came through the door to find Dark Link lying on the ground, screaming, writhing around next to that green-clad bastard. "Link! What'd you do?!" Mina screamed while she threw down a rope. She began descending it, muttering to Anim as she did. When she was three feet off ground Link grabbed her feet and slammed her down. She screamed, of course, and Link kicked her in the side. "Electrosiun stunus!" Link shouted. Mina's body went rigid and she lost consciousness. Link removed the dagger from Dark's back and whispered "Shadus meus healos". Dark's wound closed and he cast his gaze towards Mina. His faces expression went from angry to empathetic. "Don't feel sorry for her. She was weak." Dark cast a critical look towards Link. Link began to climb the rope and Dark needed no instruction to follow.
When Dark and Link entered Mina's living space they saw a chest. "How will we open that? It's clearly where our stuff is," Dark asked. Link walked up to it, breathed deeply, and kicked it with every ounce of strength he had. The chest broke and their stuff fell out. It wasn't difficult to tell whose things were whose. Seeing as how they were both half-naked, clothing was a primary. Secondary was weapons, tertiary was items, etc. In 20 minutes they had everything squared away. And that was that (brought it back).
As they walked out of Mina's tree stump a question came to Dark's mind. "Mina's okay, right?" Link looked him right in the eyes and, sincerely, said "Probably." Dark's vision popped. "What? Is she gonna die?" Link smiled and winked, in a completely anime-styled fashion. "No, of course not. She'll wake up in a few hours, disoriented, confused, and she'll see we're gone. She'll freak out and throw a colossal temper tantrum, at which point the Kokiri Mental Institution people come to assist. All clear?" Dark nodded. "Good. Now, let's go. We have a hole near Goron City to go to!" And so they walked. And walked. And walked. And walked. And they did so for roughly three hours, at which point they stopped to rest their legs and dip their feet in the Zora River. A particularly recognizable one popped her fishy head out of the water. "Ruto! You look pretty, as you occasionally do," Link said to the Zora-now-identified-as-Ruto. "Hey Link! Who's your friend?" she asked in a completely lightheaded way. Link picked up on this and smiled. "He only speaks Hylian, so you'd have to learn that and speak it fluently. Also, I don't know if Zora are his type." Ruto frowned, then smiled. "How do you feel about dating Zora?" she asked him. Link was more than a little surprised at this. "I'm not against it. What's your name?" Dark asked her. "Ruto," she said, names not being changed to accommodate the language change. "Dark Link in full, but you should call me Dark."
"Dude! You got hit on by the princess of an entire nation, played it off so coolly, and made her stare at you as you walked away. What's your secret, and could you tell past me?" Link said, obviously impressed by Dark's acting skills. "Well, firstly, never show fear or shock. If you're bad at pretending that your heart's not jumping out of your chest, take an acting class. I'm just naturally good. Secondly, make sure to leave them wanting more so they actually go on the date. And thirdly, you have to be charismatic and single. Everyone knows you're shy and dating Saria, so when she saw me she immediately jumped to the second best thing. She wanted you, you were taken, got me instead." Link frowned. "How does this help me now?!" Dark laughed and rested his hands on his head walking (a la Naruto).
Link and Dark had almost made it to Goron City by sundown. "All right Dark, let's get searching!" Link said. "Oh, come on! The city's right there! Don't you want to rest a little?" Dark retorted. Link shot him a look that said "If you don't look I'll kick your ass" and Dark got searching. "Now, the Great Deku Tree said Saria was in a hole around here, so we have to look under rocks and grass," Link stated. Dark's face went blank. What did he just say? he thought. "Let me see if I have this right: we have to look under rocks and grass?" Dark asked. "Yes," Link responded. Dark put on his best fake smile. "Oh, 'cause that makes sense! Well, Link, let's look under EVERY rock in the entire area, I'm sure she's under one of the 20,000 here!" Dark shouted. Link felt a little stupid, not even thinking about the sheer amount of rocks in their area. "Good point. Know what gets it done faster? Not talking." And with that Link got to work, setting bombs down anywhere large groups of rocks could be found. "Doesn't make this idea any better," Dark pointed out. "I can't hear you, I'm working," Link responded.
Around two hours later, when much sweat had been shed and many fingers smashed, Link found a hole in the ground, from which a harp could be heard. "Hey Dark! Over here!" Link shouted. Dark slowly arose from his crouched sleeping position to walk over to Link. "What? And, if it's another bug, so help me Nayru…" Dark said, trailing off at the sight of the hole with a smiling Link near it. "Yeah?" Link said. "Yeah," Dark said.
"Now, are you sure I NEED to be the one who goes down here first?" Dark shouted from his position deep within the hole. "Absolutely positive!" Link responded. "Why did I get stuck doing this crazy crap?" Dark said to himself. Dark was soon at the bottom of the hole, and what he saw was nothing short of shocking. "LINK! COME HERE!" he yelled. "What is it? Is it Saria?!" Link asked. "Just come here you moron!" Dark exclaimed. Link was at Dark's side in around three minutes. "Who is that?" Link asked. "He asks as if he thought I'd know," Dark narrated. Link scoffed, and then began to walk towards the sitting creature. From his distance one might assume it was a female and beautiful, but it was actually a hideously powerful demigod. "Miss?" Link asked her as he touched her shoulder. "Raaa!" she screamed as she held Link by his neck, off the ground, with one hand. Link closed an eye in pain and began kicking out to get loose. "Link!" Dark shouted as he drew his sword. "Put him down you hag!" Dark screamed. "You expect me to put him down after you insult me like that? Try again." Both Links were stunned. They barely expected her to be coherent, let alone fluent in a long-dead language. Link drew Ron the Swift's dagger and plunged it into her wrist, which made her scream. She dropped Link and brought her wrist to her mouth, where she began to suck all of the blood from her wound. Link began to sprint away, something Dark had done long ago, and the demigod threw the dagger into his right calf muscle. "Aghh!" Link shouted as he fell. The demigod arose and began to walk towards Link. "What do you want?" he asked. "I want this world and the next," she said. Her fingers elongated and she grabbed the dagger, twisting it once she had a good grip on it. "AAAHH, FUCK!" Link screamed. She removed the dagger, taking her sweet time in doing so. Link tried to crawl away, only to be met by the boot of Vaati, Wind Mage of the Minish. "Hello, again, dearest Link," Vaati hissed. He stomped on Link's chest. "Vaati, that's enough!" the unnamed demigod said. "Yes, Mistress Dimesia."
Unbeknownst to Vaati, Link, or Dimesia, these would be the last words the Wind Mage would ever utter. Dark Link, with his camouflage, snuck up on Vaati. With one lunge forward Darks sword went right through Vaati's diaphragm. Vaati stood, stunned, blood seeping from his mouth, gasping. Dimesia just looked onward at the soon-to-be cadaver. Link slowly tried to stand, falling as he discovered that the pain in his chest was too much. He passed out. Dark retracted the sword and kicked Vaati to the ground. He swung his sword lightly to get the blood off of it. "Impressive. You snuck behind my lieutenant and killed him, and have yet to make a sound. Good job. Do you want a reward?" she said. Dark Link wanted to nod even if it meant enabling the demigod. "Mark my words: if you ever hurt Link again, I will kill you." The demigod laughed and crossed her arms, fading from the Darks sight. "Are you okay?" Dark asked Link. "I have been stomped on, stabbed, and smashed my thumbs. On top of that, my girlfriend isn't even here and we've no leads. How do you think I am?" Link hissed. "Come on, man. We have to go." Dark said as he picked Link up and carried him out bridal style. When they were finally topside, Dark set up camp and fed Link some of the squirrel jerky they had made last time they camped. "Rest, Link. Regain your strength. We search again in the morning." And with that Link drifted off to the land of dreams, where he had a nightmare. Could his life get worse?
Mina?! What?! Really, Jack? Mina? Totally. I had her pictured as a crazy fragile girl who, the second one rejection came, lost it. And Ruto? Anyone excited for that? Now, as for Link and Dark, what awaits them now that they know Saria's not near Goron City? I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Sorry it took so long, I was waiting for reviews and thought "You know what? I'm the author and I left the people who enjoyed dry. Why would I do that?" And thus this chapter was born. And, if anyone thinks my chapters are too short, and I'm not saying anyone does (someone once said that and now all of my chapters will be 2000+ words), I refer you to the Club of Chapters with Less Than 1000 Words. Does anyone think I should change this to a Link/Dark Link friendship fanfic? Please review, it lets me know whether or not I suck. It also lets me know if I rule, which I'd love to hear about. Until then, if there are no questions, I'm out. Peace.