Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji
*Thanks for reading, everyone!*
Chapter two: distracting things
He couldn't see anything through the darkness.
He couldn't hear anything but his own heavy breathing.
He felt the mark on his side burning into him, scarring the young boy for the rest of his life.
Only moments ago he was surrounded by love and sheltered from pain. He had watched in ignorance as the adults shared their secrets and praise over his up-bringing. He had smiled easily and hadn't ever known true strength before. All of that was a beautiful, disgusting past.
When he couldn't wrench himself free of his captors, he realized the angels could care less about his tears. He had to find solace in death or pain in life. His senses were overwhelmed or nonexistent, but he knew.
His demon had answered and desired the one thing he had left to give. He knew what was to come of his decision, but penetrated the barrier between himself and hell. He called out to whomever would help him with his blood-thirst.
Ciel didn't think of his soul. To him, it held no value. He cared only of his parents and the world's unnecessary loss. He wanted no more than to commit acts even more gruesome towards those who shattered him beyond repair. Because of that, he left his old self in pieces and chose to be reborn into the world. For the same reasons he had back then, the answer would still be yes to the demon if they were to return to that fateful night, even though he found himself with a stronger will than ever to live.
He walked alone on the grounds surrounding his estate. It was becoming incredibly difficult to remain clear-headed, and hiding everything was exhausting. Sebastian had found more excuses to spend time with him, blaming it on his lack of talent in several areas, and made it his responsibility to educate him on. As aggravating as he was at the challenges, the young master found himself in no state to refuse. He felt alive when they were together, like there was a quality of life that he provided him that the entire world could never compensate for. He reached for it eagerly, and he despised every second they spent together.
He hated that somehow he wasn't just existing anymore. He had feelings, ones he previously relieved his heart of, because having them meant he had something to hold on to; something precious, and a reason to value himself. The more attached he grew to his dreams and the simplest acts that were done on his behalf, the more he couldn't stand throwing it all away.
That demon...no, his demon would be the one to take it from him. There was a tightness in his chest and he felt his heart race. He wished that it didn't have to end so soon, and he didn't want it to be so easy for Sebastian to end him. He wished there was a way that he could be more than dough in the demon's hands. The young lord had been handled and prepared carefully, molded into perfection just to be eaten.
"I never asked for this to happen." he said to himself, angry that he had such a weakness.
"What is it that troubles you, my lord?" a soothing voice asked, and he recognized Sebastian at his side.
"Don't do that! I don't like it when you sneak up on me like that." Ciel had moved backwards in surprise and tripped over a brick that had been laid unevenly. As he fell, he scratched his cheek on a bare branch before landing in a pair of arms.
"Please be more cautious, master." Sebastian told him gently. He leaned down and held Ciel close.
"Sebastian! W-what do you think you're d-doing?" he asked, feeling squeamish after being so close to him.
"Making sure you don't get a concussion, of course." Sebastian used one hand to tip his chin upwards and observed the shallow cut. "You've hurt yourself."
"If those idiots had done their job correctly, this would have never happened." he argued.
"Perhaps it would be helpful if you didn't make a habit of running backwards. No matter where you are, you will inevitably fall." Sebastian said.
"As long as you're there to catch me." he whispered, but it was more than loud enough for the both of them to hear. Ciel froze, realizing how that must have sounded to his butler.
"I didn't mean it like that." he corrected himself," It's just that with the contract, you shouldn't let me fall, right? It's not like you have a choice or anything...um, Sebastian?" he asked quietly. He noticed that their faces were close enough for their breathes to mingle and he felt dizzy all of a sudden. He closed his eyes and tried to relax, but instead of whatever he had been preparing for, Sebastian was licking his cheek.
"Agh, get off me!" Ceil pushed against him, but his strength was no match. He could feel Sebastian's lips form a smile against his skin as the last of the blood was removed from his skin.
"Sebastian!" he said,"Stop that and let me go."
"hmm," and he did as he was ordered, licking his lips.
"Was that really necessary?" he asked in an unusually high-pitched voice.
"No, but most humans find it helpful. Unlike their own mouths, which are the filthiest parts of their bodies, our saliva has special properties."
"Oh," he said simply. Sebastian took his hand and placed in on his cheek, where he couldn't feel anything but unscathed skin. So it was just for his convenience; a flawless procedure as always. To hide his disappointment, he decided to take his frustration out in the best way he knew how.
"What do you think you're doing here, anyways? I thought I ordered you not to follow me." he accused.
"I was not following you and did not see you more than a few seconds prior to when I approached you, my lord. One of the queen's assistants arrived and delivered a telegram addressed to you."
Ciel crossed his arms and made an expression that counted as a pout. How could someone who always do everything perfectly cause him to feel so miserable. He could never really accuse him of anything, even thought there had to be something. Feelings he these...they didn't just happen, did they? Was it his fault? He might have let himself enjoy being pampered a little too much, and maybe this was the price he had to pay. There was no one farther out of his reach, and closer to him, than Sebastian.
Music played in the background, cueing the pair's movements. The older male's hand held Ciel's, and the other rested on the small of his back. They were required to stand close from the difference in height, and the unexperienced earl still had to strain himself to stay upright.
"Are you ready, master?"
"You may begin." Ciel answered shortly, trying not to hyperventilate. He was too nervous to truly devout himself to their lessons, and knew he was making an absolute fool of himself, much to his partner's entertainment. Why his tutor had become ill now, he didn't know. Perhaps it was a cruel twist of fate, or he was meant to embarrass himself.
"No, your form is terrible. Try to-"
"Focus on my posture and avoid crushing my partner's feet." Ciel finished for him. "I know that already, so you can stop nagging me. "
"I wouldn't have said it in the first place if you would actually pay attention and do it correctly."
"How can you expect me to focus on anything when you're around?" he asked.
Sebastian raised an eyebrow and crossed the room to pause the music.
"You find me to be a distraction, young master?" he asked.
"I don't know how anyone would be able to avoid stepping on someone twice their own size."
"I think you have had a significant change in height since we last tried to dance for Ms. Elizabeth's ball."
"That was different, and it wasn't any more of a success than this has been."
"You have to learn sooner or later, as I have told you many times before, and sooner would be most convenient."
They had yet another time-consuming command from the queen. With the disappearance of young girls, her majesty was becoming concerned, which is when things become her watchdog's responsibility. They had quickly determined the suspect most likely to have committed the crimes; Count Druid, whose ball was to be held at the end of the week.
"I don't know why it is so important that I dance! Why can't I simply approach him and obtain enough information to arrest him?"
"This isn't only practice for your dancing. You will be participating as a young lady, and dong so requires...poise; which frankly, you need to improve upon if you have any hope of getting his attention."
"If it's proven to be a hopeless task, why are we doing this?"
"What kind of butler would I be if I couldn't even teach my young master how to dance?"
"A normal butler." he said.
"And one who would be unworthy of my position."
"Indeed."Ciel held his hand out, all romantic notions momentarily forgotten. "Come here. You're supposed to be teaching me, not wasting time with pointless conversation."
Sebastian smirked gave him a quick bow. "Yes, my lord."
Sebastian took the young lord's hands and brought him close again, and allowed his mind to wander. His thoughts went somewhere unheard of for any demon. When he had the chance to look at his emotions laid out, he saw that the amount of annoyance he used to feel towards his mater had almost disappeared. He forgot that he used to follow through with every order, always saying 'Yes, my lord', with the intention of humoring him. Now he truly wanted to please him. Their ties became a bond and he fed into it with his strange loyalties.
"Now step to the right-" he moved his feet to avoid tripping him."Yes, and turn-"
Their steps were becoming more in sync and their positions became a little less stiff. Sebastian smiled when he saw that Ciel was actually starting to enjoy himself. He released his waist and spun him around for the fun of it, and then held onto his waist. He almost stopped when he noticed Ciel's new figure, but only stumbled and made a quick recovery.
'I didn't realize how far along he's already come. I didn't think it would be this soon; not yet.' Sebastian sighed and remembered his short visit with the Undertaker the night before.
'It's rare to come across a demon with emotions. Who would've thought..?'
'So you did know of another like me?'
'Oh, well no. You see, by rare I meant nonexistent. I've never met anything like you.'
'Fine. It doesn't matter. All I came here for was information, so do you have it or not?'
'What you're dealing with here is very risky.' the man said thoughtfully, twiddling his thumbs.
'I know that already! Just tell me how I can help him before-" he stopped short. No one knew what would happen if this continued.
'I'm not just talking about Ciel Phantomhive. You are in danger, as well. It's common for a transition like this to take place, but not to this degree. If you don't tell him soon and minimize your desires, his body will continue changing because it wants to conform to your needs. Not only that, but you might also change. I can already tell you that you've become more human.'
'Become human?' he asked, 'Is that even possible?'
'I don't know. I told you what I think. The rest is for you to figure out.' he said with an evil cackle.
Sebastian didn't respond. Me..a human..?
The undertaker gagged and his laugh faded away. He cleared his throat and waved him off,'You're running out of time, old friend, so I suggest you get to it."