Chapter 4

Clary was desperate to see Jace and time seemed to be passing slower than molasses. Even more so since her parents had announced to her at supper that she was indeed engaged to Sebastian Verlac. Clary had hoped her mother wouldn't agree with her father, but she had been wrong, her mother had smiled happily the entire meal. What made Clary even more upset was the fact that her wedding was already being planned and would be in a few months, it made her want to die.

Finally Clary couldn't wait any longer; she walked out onto her balcony and looked down. It wasn't that far of a drop and she was a shadowhunter. Sure she had never fought any demons because her father refused, but she had gone through all the necessary training. With a deep breath she threw one leg and then the other over the railing. She was very careful to hang onto the railing the entire time. She then grabbed the bars of the rail and let her feet dangle over the edge. Sliding her hands down she grabbed the edge of the balcony and braced herself. With another deep breath she let go and dropped to the ground, landing in a crouch as her feet hit the ground. Smiling, she quickly went to the part of the garden where she would meet Jace.

As she neared the meeting spot she paused, her heart feeling heavy. She had to tell him about her father's plans, but she didn't want to lose him. Not by her father's will or by Jace's own. Clary shook the thoughts from her head, she was just overthinking things. Tentatively she walked around the corner of the trees that surrounded one of her favorite spots of the garden. It was a little clearing in a way that was shaped like a circle. Located in the center was a small fountain, on the outer perimeter were benches and a couple lanterns, the floor hear was marble and not stone like the rest of the garden, and there were many different kinds of flowers that made a circle between the marble and trees that surrounded it.

She walked towards the fountain and looked around, not seeing anything but shadows of the garden from the moon. Then out of the corner of her eye she saw movement and turned around. She caught a glimpse of golden hair before the figure stepped out of the shadows. Clary smiled and her heart leaped as she ran into his open arms.

"Clary," Jace said as her caught her and wrapped his arms around her.

When he let go she took a step back and looked up at him. "I missed you." She said looking him in the eye.

"I missed you too. I'm sorry it took me so long. Your father is making it harder and harder to get messages to you."

"I'm surprised he'd have time," Clary said a bit bitterly.

Jace looked at her questioningly. "What do you mean?"

Clary took another step back and looked down, wrapping her arms around herself. Jace said her name again, and she closed her eyes for a second. Not daring to look up she said, "My father has been looking for me a husband."

"Well, we knew that, everyone knew that. That was one of the reasons for the ball on your birthday, so that young men like me could have a chance to talk with you."

"He- he found one," Clary said softly, sadness overwhelming her even with Jace so near to her.

Clary heard a slight intake of breath and then silence. She just stood there looking at the ground as Jace continued not to speak, whishing he would. The longer the silence continued the more Clary's heart seemed to tighten as more and more doubts fealed her head. Jace still hadn't said anything and Clary was beginning to think that he would just give her up and move on, now that there seemed to be no way they could ever be together. The thought of him not caring enough to fight for her made her heart shatter and her throat feel tight. She was turning to bolt when a hand caught her wrist; she still didn't dare look up.

Clary felt Jace move closer to her and she squeezed her eyes close before opening them again at the feel of Jace's fingers under her chin, making her skin tingle. He pulled her chin up, forcing her to look at him. The moon lit up his hair and made it looked almost silver in the light and his eyes were a little darker than normal. Clary didn't dare speak, too afraid that she would start crying, or worse, he would leave.

"What," he said his voice barely a whisper. "What did you say?"

Jace had removed his hand from her chin and now had it rested on her shoulder. Clary just looked up at him, unable to speak at first, he almost looked lost.

"My father found me a husband." Clary said softly, her voice wavering only a little bit.

"What," Jace said looking as if someone had struck him, his eyes sad. "Who?"

"Sebastian Verlac, my father told me today. We are to be married soon."

"Verlac!" Jace said, his voice sounding almost heated his eyes ablaze and then they died as what she said fully hit him. "How soon?"

"I don't know, a few months."

Jace's breath caught for a second and he let go of her wrist and took a step back, Clary's heart clinched a little. Clary watched him as he stood there; he was looking everywhere but at her and his face had a pained expression on it.

"Jace," Clary said hesitantly, once again afraid he may leave her. His eyes snapped back at her and his expression changed a little.

"Clary," he said gently as he stepped back towards her and placed his hand gently on her cheek, as he did some of Clary's fears subsided. "Oh, Clary."

"What are we going to do, Jace?" Clary said as she finally started to break. "They want me to be with him and even the servants are saying how we will make such a lovely couple, but all I want is you." She looked him with desperate eyes. "All I want is you."

"I could always get rid of him," Jace said trying to sound lighthearted. Clary just looked at him. "Or I could ruin his reputation. Then your parents wouldn't want you to marry him." He said, sounding almost thoughtful.

"You're ridiculous." Clary said as tears streamed down her face. Jace wiped them away with his thumbs.

"Perhaps." He said a bit solemnly.

"We could just run away." Clary said suddenly.

Jace just looked at her in surprise. "No, we couldn't."

"Yes, we could. I could meet you one night and we could ride off somewhere they wouldn't find us. We could get married and live together." The idea excited Clary a little, being with Jace without having to sneak around.

"What are you saying," Jace asked a bit shocked.

"Take me somewhere, anywhere, even tonight. I could meet you again in a couple hours and we would be long gone before anyone noticed I was missing." Clary was almost desperate. Why didn't he agree? Why didn't he want to be with her?

"They would find you." Jace said shaking his head.

"No, they wouldn't. We could go very far away."

"Clary, wouldn't you miss your family? Your friends? I can't do that. Besides, it wouldn't be the honorable thing to do."

Clary suddenly stepped away from him as rage started to well up inside her. Why wouldn't he just agree? Didn't he understand it was the only way?

"Why not," Clary said, her anger slipping through her control and into her voice.

"Clary," Jace said softly.

"No, Jace, why not? Don't you want to be with me? Don't you love me?" Clary said loudly, not caring that she had basically just declared her love for him, even though he had never told her he had loved her. She had been so sure he had loved her, but now she wasn't so sure. Perhaps she was just another pretty face to him, just another girl, like a flower was just another flower.

"Clary," Jace said a bit roughly as he grabbed her again.

"No." Clary pushed him away from her and looked at him with disdain.

"I can't take you away from your family, Clary. I can't."

"You'd watch me marry another man? Because that is what's going to happen. My father has been planning it for years and he always gets his way, always."

"We still have time," Jace said.

"No we don't, Jace. We don't have time. My father isn't going to just change his mind. He never does."

"Clary-"

"Just forget, Jace. Everyone said you weren't any good, everyone said you went around breaking all of the girl's hearts, and I didn't believe them. Well they were right. So you can just sit back and watch me marry Sebastian Verlac because my father isn't going to change his mind and you aren't going to save me like I thought you would." Clary said, not caring that her words were making him cringe and that his face had gone a little pale. She turned to walk away, her heart beating quickly. She needed to get away before her rage disappeared and she was overwhelmed with sadness and pain.

She didn't get very far before she felt her skin tingle as Jace grabbed her and spun her around. Before she could protest he had his lips on hers and was kissing her as if his life depended on it. Clary felt her anger diminish and new hope flutter inside her heart. After what seemed like forever and not nearly long enough Jace pulled away.

"I love you, Clarissa Morgenstern, so don't you dare tell me otherwise." He said heatedly.

"Then will you-"

"No, I will find another way." Jace said, and Clary felt all of her hope vanish.

"Then you had better be prepared to live the rest of your life without me, because there is no other way. Either take me away with you or watch me marry Sebastian." Clary said, calmly as she looked up at him.

She could see the battle that raged within him, could see him contemplating her words. Clary grew a tad bit hopeful when she saw his eyes harden as he made up his mind.

"I can't run away with you. I will find another way for us to be together."

Clary felt her hope fade rapidly and her heart fully shatter. "Then we can never be together." She said and turned away from him and ran back towards her house, not daring to look behind her even once. She didn't know what she would do if he was following after her and she didn't know how she would keep living if he wasn't. Clary scrambled her way up the terrace, careful not to stup on the broken step, and pulled herself back onto her balcony. Once her feet where safely on the ground she sunk to the floor and cried as the pain of her losing Jace finally grabbed ahold of her with unforgiving claws.