Chapter 13
Sorry it has taken me so long to update, I've been swamped by school work the last couple weeks. I was also reading through the story and realized I haven't been doing too good of an editing job. Which makes since considering I usually write it, edit it super quick, and then post it. So I will try harder to make sure to use their and there at the right moments, along with all of the other errors. Any ways, thank you for waiting so patiently. Hope you like this chapter.
Clary suddenly felt a coldness that wasn't due to the chill of the outside and crossed her arms tighter. After the messenger had left Clary had bolted outside and made a beeline to her favorite spot in the garden. The shrubs were very tall here and they easily blocked the chilly wind that blew from the south. Clary had avoided this area of the garden, where she was sitting on a white stone bench, since the last secret meeting she had had with Jace when it had still felt like summer and the fountain in front of her had been spewing water. It was her favorite spot in the garden and she had always gone there when she needed to think or just wanted to get away for a while. Since that last night with Jace she hadn't really needed to run to her safe haven, not with Sebastian always around. Now she was here because of Sebastian. There were so many thoughts running through Clary's head, so many questions, and there were no answers to be found.
Clary didn't know how long she sat there or when enough of the numb feeling that had took ahold of her had faded and allowing her pent back tears to finally start running down her frozen cheeks. It wasn't until she heard an owl hoot loudly nearby that she was brought back from her desperate thoughts and she realized that the sun had gone down and it was already dark enough to see stars in the sky. With a shaky breath, Clary stood up and made her way back towards the house. Once inside she didn't get very far when she heard her name being called from behind her. Turning to see who, Clary saw it was Marcus with a somewhat worried expression on his face.
"Where have you been, Miss?" Marcus's voice was stern.
"The garden." Clary said, just a little irritated.
"The entire time?" He sounded disapproving.
"Yes."
Marcus crossed his arms in front of his chest, his eyes now looking at her very sternly.
"Clarissa, I know the news is unexpected, but you can't act so irresponsibly."
Clary sighed a little. Marcus only ever called her by her name without a title when he was feeling the especially affectionate with her. Even though he was a mere human, he also was like family to her.
"I just needed to think, besides, today is the warmest it's been in a long time." She replied, not wanting him to worry about her when there really wasn't reason to.
Marcus eyed her a little dubiously before sighing himself and shaking his head a little. "Just don't stay out so long next time, not with the weather the way it is."
"I won't," she promised, not wanting him to be more upset over her.
Marcus nodded. "Would you like something to eat? The cooks made soup; it would warm you up some."
"No, thank you. I really just want to change and go to bed."
Marcus stared at her a little before nodding his head again. "Alright."
Clary gave a half-hearted smile and made her way up the stairs and into her bedroom, where she changed into completely fresh, dry clothing and flung herself onto her bed. She lay there for a second and then got under the covers and stared up at the ceiling, not the least bit tired.
Clary hadn't even became aware of the fact she had fallen asleep until she opened her eyes and saw that it was summer and not winter. Looking around she saw that she was in a city. The city had probably been very beautiful at one time, but now it was covered in blood and gore. The buildings around her looked abandoned and there was no one in sight even though it was the middle of the day.
Suddenly Clary felt her skin tingle a little and turned around. When she did her heart stopped for a second. There, standing at the top of the steps and leaning against a pillar of the very elegant building in front of her, stood Sebastian. He had on Shadowhunter black and his arms were crossed over his chest; Clary noticed his hair was a little longer than the last time she had saw him.
"Clary," he said, his eyes lightening a little. He had a happy expression on his face and even smiled at her.
"Sebastian." Clary said barely above a whisper. Her heart had started beating again, but it was now pounding irregularly hard and fast in her chest.
"I've missed you." Sebastian's voice was tender and soft as he started to walk to the steps towards her. Clary didn't know what to say, and even if she did she didn't think her voice would work enough for the words to get out of her mouth.
"You look beautiful."
Clary was startled at this and looked down. She was surprised to see that she was wearing a light weight dress the same shade of blue she had worn at the Verlac's to the ball. The dress tied around her neck and showed of some of her back and the skirt stopped at about her mid-shin. It bellowed a little in the wind.
Looking back up, Clary saw that Sebastian now stood in front of her. He held at a hand and Clary hesitated a second before taking it.
"Did you like the gifts I sent you?" He asked, smiling down at her and taking her other hand in his as well.
"Y-yes," Clary said, feeling nervous.
"I'm glad."
Clary smiled faintly up at him. She was feeling so torn and she didn't know why. She had indeed missed him, but at the same time there was something deep down inside that told her she shouldn't trust him.
"What's wrong?" Sebastian looked down at her looking worried.
"I, it's just, I don't know."
Sebastian was still looking at her with an almost uneasy expression, and then he was kissing her. At first Clary was lost in the kiss, but suddenly images of the battle and a messenger talking to a shocked Marcus blooded her mind and suddenly she remembered why part of her was afraid of Sebastian, why she was so hesitant to trust him.
Clary stepped back abruptly, hugging herself; Sebastian looked at her in confusion.
"Why?" Clary asked.
"Why what?" Sebastian said, still confused.
"Why did you do it?"
Sebastian just looked at Clary for a second as if pondering her question. Then, suddenly, his eyes grew wide and then hardened a little. The gleam in his eyes scared her a little, but then Clary remembered it was just a dream.
"I see," he said, and then was silent. "Let me show you something."
Before Clary could protest, Sebastian wrapped his arms around her and Clary felt a disorienting feeling for a split second and then it was gone and Sebastian stepped away from her. At first Clary was puzzled, but then she saw that they were up very high and down below them lay the city and then beyond it the dead looking land. There was smoke in the sky and after a second look Clary saw that fire was all over, devouring the city and the land outside of it. She looked up at Sebastian, confused. Clary wondered why Sebastian would want to show her this. Sebastian's eyes were still hard, but as he looked over the land he seemed almost happy. With a start, Clary grasped the truth that he was responsible for this, and once again she was afraid of him.
Just a dream, she reminded herself.
Sebastian finally looked down at her. "What do you think?"
"I, I don't know what to think." Clary said, carefully choosing her words. "Why, why did you do this?"
Sebastian actually threw his head back a laughed a little before looking back at her, his eyes dancing. "Why? Because I want all of it to be mine."
Clary didn't know how to respond to this answer. Out of all of the reasons in her head, this wasn't one that she had thought of. But, she suddenly realized, it was one she should have thought of.
Thinking back, Clary couldn't remember one moment when Sebastian had seemed like he wanted to destroy the world. A sick feeling came over Clary. But there had been moments when he had almost seemed, dangerous, like when Sebastian had almost gotten into a fight with Jace. And then there was the dream she had had, where Sebastian had killed Jace. Clary remembered herself asking where he had been and Sebastian answering, Conquering the world. She had thought he was just being silly, now she thought different.
"So, what do you think?"
Clary gasped a little at the sound of Sebastian's voice as she was brought out of her thoughts.
"What?" She asked, a bit embarrassed for not hearing his entire question.
"I asked, what do you think of becoming my queen."
I need a queen. The words made Clary shiver a little, what if the dream hadn't been just a dream. What if this dream wasn't just a dream? Clary shook her head, not allowing the thoughts to take root.
"Why?" Clary asked, careful to make her voice sound curious and not revolted.
"Because, if I am going to rule over this world, it is just fitting my wife be queen." Sebastian looked down as her and smiled. "Once this stupid war is over we can be married and then together we can recreate this decrepit world."
"I'm sorry, but I still don't understand why we need to recreate the world. What is wrong with it now?" Clary asked cautiously.
"Because, Shadowhunters have become as unimportant as Mundanes. We live in secret and try to pass ourselves off as one of them. Why should we hide? Mundanes should know we exist, should see us as gods." Sebastian said.
"But, that's blasphemy." Clary said, shocked.
"I didn't really mean gods, I mean they should fear and respect us and acknowledge us as the ones who keep them safe. Shadowhunters should rule over this world, not them."
Clary thought this over. It was true that the Shadowhunters lived in secret, along with the Downworlders, keeping their true identities secret from the rest of the world. Not having to hide who they were would be nice, but it would also be nice if there wasn't a war going on or if she had been able to choose her own husband. A lot of things would be nice, but just because you thought so didn't really mean anything in the real grand scheme of things.
Clary didn't think she could hide her revolted feelings of what Sebastian had done or how much she disagreed with him much longer. A part of her just wanted to tell him what she really thought, but the part that was afraid of how he would react kept keeping her in check. It's just a dream, she reminded herself.
"Sebastian." Clary's voice faltered a little. Just a dream. With a deep breath she tried again, "Sebastian, I don't…"
"Don't," Sebastian interrupted, not allowing Clary to finish. "Don't say what I think you are about to say."
"And what would that be?"
"That you don't agree with me. I knew there was a possibility of you not understanding at first, but I am fine with that. I am willing to give you time to understand, time to come around." Sebastian looked at Clary fondly as he ran his fingers through her hair. "So what do you say? Will you give it a chance? Because I want you by my side, you are meant to be by my side."
Clary didn't know what to say, her head was swimming even more and once again she found herself split. Part of her wanted to decline Sebastian's offer, to tell him he was crazy and then she wanted nothing to do with him. Yet, another part of her found the idea alluring and was touched that Sebastian was willing to wait for her to get use to the idea. Looking past Sebastian, Clary focused on the burning city. She watched as the flames reached for the sky and the smoke curled as it intertwined itself with the clouds. It looked as if the Hell had come to Earth.
Clary gasped as the thought ran through her mind. Suddenly she could hear the crackle of the flames and what sounded like cries of agony. A shiver went through her body as she finally took in her surroundings. It was as if her senses had been asleep and were now awake. With sudden clarity, Clary met Sebastian's gaze. His eyes hardened a little as he saw the resolve in her eyes.
"No." Just a dream. "I don't want to have anything to do with this." Clary was surprised at how strong her voice sounded.
"No." Sebastian said in disbelief. "How dare you! Do you not realize what an honor I am giving you? I am offering you the opportunity to be queen of this wretched world."
"I do not wish to be queen." Clary's voice was calmer than she felt.
"You will be queen because you are to be my wife."
"I do not wish to be married to you either. I told you I wanted nothing to do with this."
Sebastian's eyes blazed and suddenly his eyes were entirely black.
"You belong to me; therefore, you will be my wife and you will be my queen." Sebastian growled.
Clary tried to take a step back but Sebastian grabbed her wrist tightly and prevented her. Fear was slowly spreading its way throughout her and Clary had to keep reminding herself over and over that Sebastian couldn't really hurt her. Trying to pull away, Sebastian tightened his grip on her and drew her in closer. Sebastian gave her a cruel smile, and then he was kissing her. Unlike the others, which had been tender and slow, this one was rough and angry. But even with all the anger Clary could feel a hint of desperation, so much so that it pulled a little at her heart.
She didn't know why, but suddenly Clary was no longer afraid and willing to give Sebastian a chance. Clary felt Sebastian relax a little and his smile as he softened the kiss a little. After a few more seconds, Sebastian pulled away with a smirk on his face. Clary knew that Sebastian was feeling victorious at the moment and deep down inside she felt like this should bother her, anger her even, but for some reason she just didn't care.
Clary was about to apologize for being so hard headed when a figure behind Sebastian caught her eye. It took all of her will power to not gasp in surprise as her eyes focused on the golden hair and eyes of the ghost like figure. Jace.
He was in Shadowhunter gear, much like the last time she had seen him, and his was covered in blood and look worn out. His eyes held a sad, pleading look as he reached out one of his semi-transparent arms towards her. Clary's heart stopped for a second and then seemed to crack, as if preparing to shatter.
What do you want? Clary thought, desperately. Jace shook his head as her and reached out towards her even more, as if asking her to come to him. Clary shook her head back at him, I can't.
Jace smiled at her sadly with an intense gaze. Yes you can, he seemed to say. Clay shook her head again, taking a step back. She glanced at Sebastian, who was now standing beside her with his back to Jace, and saw that his lips were moving as he told her something she couldn't hear. Looking back at Jace, Clary saw the golden haired boy take a step towards he and she in return took another step back. Jace looked hurt at her reaction, but instead of stopping he kept trying to get closer to her.
Clary hadn't noticed that Sebastian had kept her hand in his, so she was unaware of when she pulled her hand out of his as she continued to walk backwards. Then without warning as she went to put her foot down it hit the edge whatever Clary was standing on and slipped off. Startled, Clary wasn't able to correct herself enough to keep her balance and she felt herself start to fall backwards. Jace had a look of panic as this happened and ran towards her.
Jace! Clary thought at him in terror. But before he could reach her Sebastian's strong arms grabbed her and placed her back on solid ground. Clary was about to thank him when she noticed that he wasn't looking at her, but towards where Jace stood, with a dangerous glint to his eyes. With a sick thud of her heart, Clary realized that she had screamed his name out loud. Sebastian walked away from her and Clary felt fear for Jace, even though he wasn't a solid figure. Then, suddenly, something inside Clary snapped and it wasn't fear she felt anymore, but pure, unrelenting, panic. She no longer wanted to follow Sebastian; she wanted to fight him, to ruin his plans before they had the chance to become real, before this dream had the chance to become real.
"How did you get here?" Sebastian demanded with pure hatred in his voice. Jace gave him what seemed like a snarky look, one that was probably meant to make Sebastian even angrier. It worked. Sebastian lunged at Jace, and as he did Jace became less transparent, more tangible. Then out of nowhere a sword appeared in Sebastian's hand and arced its way towards Jace.
"Jace," Clary screamed out, as she saw what was about to happen.
Jace side stepped Sebastian and then a sword of his own appeared. He glanced back at Clary, a look of relief on his face as he smiled at her. This infuriated Sebastian even more and he started to make another attack and then stopped abruptly. He turned to look at Clary and saw that he had a mischievous gleam in his eyes and his lips were curled up into a smirk. Then suddenly he was no longer by Jace, but behind Clary with his arms wrapped around her.
"What are you going to do now?" Sebastian's voice was venomous. Jace made a step towards them, his eyes blazing with anger. Sebastian chuckled and then brought a knife up to Clary's neck, causing Jace's body to go rigid as he froze in place.
"Thought so," Sebastian said as he kissed Clary's neck gently. Jace looked both furious and pained at the same time. "But just to be far, I'll give Clary a choice. She can stay with me or she can go to you."
Jace's eyes widened in surprise at this, but Clary didn't trust the tone of Sebastian's voice. He was too calm, and by now Clary knew how desperate he was to have her by his side. Sebastian removed the knife and pushed her forward a step, widening the space between them. At first Clary didn't move, she merely stood there and looked back and forth between the two boys. Sebastian had a confident look on his face that didn't waver even when she took a step to the side before standing in place again. Jace, however, did not look confident. He looked unsure and his eyes looked almost pleading as he looked at Clary. With longing in her heart, clary took a tentative step towards Jace and then another. She tried to call his name but it got stuck on her lips as her voice refused to work. Jace suddenly had a look a relief as Clary was about to take another step towards him, but she was prevented as once again Sebastian wrapped his arms around her possessively. Jace looked startled at this but didn't move, his eyes almost calculating.
"You didn't honestly think I would let you have her did you?" Sebastian's voice was sounded bored, but Clary could hear a tinge of menace; she also felt Sebastian's body tremble a little as he laughed. "If so you really are a fool. Clary is mine, she always has been and she always will be, and there is nothing you can do about it."
Jace's face was contorted with rage at Sebastian's words and he lunged at them. Clary felt Sebastian's arms tighten around her.
"Stupid boy." Sebastian said as he leaned took a step and leaned backwards. Clary heard Jace call out her name as she felt herself free fall towards the ground.
…
…
Clary woke with a start, her heart hammering away in her chest. Jace. Clary didn't know why, but she had the feeling that she had to worn Jace to stay away from Sebastian or something bad would happen. At the thought of what Sebastian would do to Jace, Clary's stomach tied itself into knots and fear started to consume her. She tried to calm herself and go back to sleep, but she couldn't. Closing her eyes she tried to focus on the sound of the wind outside, but all she could hear was Sebastian's voice.
I want it to all be mine.
Together we can recreate this decrepit world.
You belong to me.
You didn't think honestly think I would let you have her did you?
Clary is mine. She always has been and she always will be.
It was like a mantra, repeating itself over and over again in her mind, until finally, she did fall sleep.
Once again I am extremely sorry for taking so incredibly long to post this chapter. It seems like the most free time I've had lately is five minutes tops to work on this chapter, and those five minutes were few and far between. If it makes it any better, this is the longest chapter yet. Please tell me what you think.