Chapter 14

My homework load and other random activities is starting to die down a little, so hopefully that means I will be able to post at least once a week again. I am not going to promise I will, but I will promise that I will try.

Clary was sitting at her desk with a painfully blank piece of paper in front of her and a still pen in hand. Frustrated, she ran her free hand through her mess of bed head curls to the best of her ability. She knew that she needed to write Jace, and she really wanted to, but she just didn't know how to go about it. The last few times they had seen each other they had left on bad terms after a rough exchange of words. Clary felt her heart sink a little, a feeling she didn't quite know what to do with yet. For what seemed forever Clary had been infatuated with Sebastian, but sometime between when she fell asleep and when she woke up that morning that infatuation had disappeared. It was as if she had been put under a spell and it had finally been broken. It was a disturbing feeling.

With a sigh, Clary finally attempted to write something down.

Jace,

I know that we haven't been on the best of terms for a while and I am deeply sorry for that. I was just trying to deal with the situation the best way I knew how to, which I admit probably wasn't the best in the long run. I hope you can forgive me, but if not that am perfectly understandable. I also hope that this letter isn't causing your ego to grow, because my apology is not the soul reason that I am writing this letter. The main reason I wrote this letter is to warn you to stay away from Sebastian at all costs. I fear that if you were to confront him in any way something terrible would happen to you. So please, I know this is a terrible thing to ask, but if you ever cared for me at all, please, please, do not go near him. Especially on the battle field.

Yours truly,

Clary

Satisfied enough, Clary let the ink dry, folded the letter, and sealed it. She then ran down the stairs and gave it to one of the servants to mail. Feeling a little more relieved, she then went to the library to read in an attempt to get her mind off of her dream and what she felt like was a bad omen.

Clary spent the next few days doing the same routine: get up, eat, read, eat, paint or draw, eat, read, go to bed. Occasionally she would shake things up and go for a walk or a ride on her horse if the weather was warm enough, but it didn't liven up her boring routine in the least. To Clary's dismay, the war was still going strong and the Shadowhunters were still trying to find Sebastian. According to her father, every time they thought they were close to capturing him he would slip through their fingers like smoke.

Also, as each day passed Clary continued to wonder why she had ever liked Sebastian as she felt more discuss for him every day. It really was as if she had been put under some kind of spell that made her think she was in love with Sebastian and the very idea made her skin crawl.

Finally one day, Marcus gave Clary a letter with her name on it in neat writing she knew very well. She gave Marcus a wide eyed look before running up to her room to open the letter.

Dearest Clary,

I was surprised to receive your letter, but extremely happy nonetheless. Even though it seems impossible to you, I do forgive you. I will also take your advice and not let it go to my head too much by refraining from writing down many comments that come to mind that I mean good heartedly but would probably result in you wanting to slap me the next time we meet. I am also sorry to say that I cannot promise you that if given the chance I will not pursue Sebastian or try to be the one to either capture or end his life. But I will promise I will not go out on my own or rush into things. I hope that is enough, for I do care for you and always will. I do not fully understand why you are so concerned for my well-being if I was to cross paths with Sebastian, or why you are so sure that I will, but as awful as it sounds I am glad that it was cause for you to write me. Please don't be too angry with me.

With the deepest love,

Jace

Clary wanted to scream in frustration as she sank onto her bed and sat the letter down beside her. She should have known Jace's sense of duty would be too strong to deter him from wanting to defeat Sebastian if given the chance. Jace wasn't in this for the glory, but because being a Shadowhunter was his life and every fiber of his being was meant to stop Shadowhunter enemies. Clary understood that, but she still wished he would heed her warning just this once. What little hope Clary had managed to muster vanished in a flash and fear settled inside of her as she realized that Jace would end up confronting Sebastian, no matter what she said. But Clary had a feeling that even if Jace had promised to stay away from Sebastian, Sebastian himself would probably go looking for Jace. Clary didn't know why she knew this, she just did.

So Clary wrote Jace another letter, telling him that she understood and warning him to be on his guard and to keep Alec, his parabatai, by his side at all times. Even though the last one was a moot point, Alec would never let Jace go off on his own, especially in battle. Feeling slightly better, Clary gave the letter to Marcus to send and waited for more news of the war to make its way to her home.

The war continued into winter and was still raging on even after Christmas and the New Year and it seemed that it was at a standstill. Yes the Shadowhunters were defeating demons and rogue Downworlders and Shadowhunter, but demons were always plentiful. And even though the Shadowhunters were still strong in numbers and hadn't lost too many lives, they still weren't any closer to capturing Sebastian or any of his commanding officers, which was very disheartening. It had also been nearly a month since Clary had heard anything from anyone.

That was why when Marcus found her in the library she was surprised to learn that she had a visitor. Without hesitating she had Marcus lead her to the parlor where a tall man dressed in Shadowhunter gear had his back to her. He had a hat on his head, so it wasn't until he took it off that she saw that his hair was a golden color. Clary froze in place for a second as her heart skipped a beat and then started to pound heavily in her chest and her breath caught for the briefest of moments before she managed to whisper his name. When he turned around his golden eyes glowed and grew a shade darker as they caught sight of her. His lips turned into a smile and suddenly Clary's feet were hastily making their way to him and into his outstretched arms.

"Jace." Clary said, as she drank in the scent of his skin and the warmth of his arms around her. She was suddenly overwhelmed by how right it felt to be enveloped by his arms and of how perfect their bodies fit together.

"Clary," Jace whispered into her ear, his breath tickling her neck and sending shivers down her spine. "I missed you so much."

Clary took a step back to get a better look at him. "I missed you too. I'm so glad you are alright."

"Of course I'm alright; I'm one of the best Shadowhunters there is."

"Jace," Clary teared up a little bit, the feel extent of how much she had missed him and how relieved she felt that he was safe catching up to her.

"Clary," Jace said, concerned.

"I'm fine, it's just that I missed you so much I've been so worried about you." Clary said, feeling ashamed of herself for crying and being able to gain enough composure to stop.

Jace didn't say anything, he merely looked at her and wiped the tears away with his thumbs before pressing his lips onto hers into a deep, gently kiss. The kiss was brief and when he pulled away he kissed both of her closed eyelids.

"Silly girl, you have no reason to worry yourself so much about me." Jace said softly, holding her face in his rough, calloused, loving hands.

"You don't understand," Clary said, the tears lessening. "Sebastian is sure to come after you and he is just as skilled as you are."

"You are you so sure that Sebastian will come for me?"

"Because you have what he wants most, and he will do whatever it takes to get what he wants."

Jace gave her a slightly puzzled look before replying. "What would that be?"

"Me." Clary said matter-of-factly. It was something she was very sure of, even though she didn't have any hard evidence besides dreams and past slip ups of Sebastian's.

Jace's eyes widened and then turned hard as he realized just what she meant.

"Well, he can't have you."

"You say it as if it's just that easy, as if saying it will make it so, but you don't understand. Sebastian has it in his head that I am his, even if I do not wish to be his, and he's not use to not getting his way."

"But it is that easy because you won't give in to him and I will not let him take you. I don't care if I have to go to Hell and back to stop him, I will keep him away from you at all costs." Jace said fiercely, his eyes blazing with determination and resolve.

Even though it flustered Clary, she couldn't help but love the boy even more. How could she have ever doubted her feelings for him?

"I don't want to lose you again because of him." Clary said softly.

Jace gave her a halfhearted smile, "That's never gonna happen."

Clary closed eyes and gave a gasp of surprise as Jace kissed her again, only this time it was longer and needy, as if kissing her was keeping him alive. She wasn't sure which one of them pulled away first, but she was left feeling hungry for more.

"I love you." Jace said, causing Clary's eyes to widen a little because everything about his voice and his face told her he meant it.

"I love you too."

Jace smiled at her and Clary felt warmth spread through her entire being, chasing away the cold that she had been encased in for so long.

"Jace," Clary said a little cautiously.

"Yes?"

"Why are you here? I mean, I'm glad to see you, but shouldn't you be with everyone else on the battle front?"

Jace sighed and his face hardened a little. "Leave it to you to ruin a perfect moment." His voice was light, but Clary could tell that it was forced. "I came here to see you and to warn you to stay indoors for a while. The battles are slowly getting closer and closer to this area and I don't want you to get hurt. Although I doubt Sebastian will let things get too close to you, I thought I'd warn you just the same."

"Oh." Clary felt her mood fall a little.

"But I also came to give you this," Jace said as he pulled a small wrapped package out of his coat pocket. "I know Christmas has already come and gone, but late is better than never."

"But, I don't have anything for you." Clary said, shocked a little that Jace had gone through the trouble of getting her a gift.

"Being able to see you and touch you is all I wanted for Christmas." Jace said, his eyes darkening again, making Clary blush a little.

Without really thinking about it Clary reached up to her neck where a simple silver chain necklace with three charms on it. In the middle was a charm of the rune of angelic power, to its right was a smaller charm of the rune of strength, and to its left a smaller charm of the rune of fearlessness. Luke had given it to her on her tenth birthday and it was one of her most treasured possessions. She had stopped wearing it for some reason after her last birthday and had recently started wearing it again, hoping it would help her feel better as the war continued. With a quick movement of her fingers she opened the clasp and removed it from her neck.

"Here," Clary said as she offered the necklace to Jace. "It is the best I can do on such short notice. It is very dear to me, so promise me you will keep it safe and when the war is over you will return it to me."

"I can't take that from you, Clary. Not if it means so much to you." Jace said as he raised his hands as if to fend her off.

"But that is exactly why you should take it. Because it does mean a lot to me and if you have it you have to return to me."

Jace looked at her with almost sad eyes. "I will not take the necklace, but can I keep your ring?" He said, gesturing towards the silver ring on her right ring finger that had her families crest on it. Family was something that Shadowhunters took great pride in and every family had their own family ring and every Shadowhunter owned one. Clary had gotten hers as a gift when she was seven and her mother had started to teach her runes, foreign languages, and names of demons.

"Alright," Clary nodded. For the first time she could remember she took off her family ring and placed it in Jace's hand. Jace then reached up to a chain that lay around his neck, unclasped it, put the ring on it, and put the chain back around his neck. The ring wrested barely below his collarbones.

"Thank you, I promise one day I will return it to you when this dreadful war is done." Jace said as his took Clary's hands in his own.

Before Clary could respond the clock started to ring, letting the inhabitants of the house know that it was now five o'clock. Jace looked towards where the sound of the clock came from then looked back at Clary.

"I have to get back to camp. I promise to keep in touch." Jace placed a light kiss on Clary's lips and then he was gone.

Clary stood there for a while and then finally she turned to go to her room. On her way up the stairs, Clary put her necklace back on. With her back against the door of her room, Clary untied the red bow that was tied around her gift. She let the silk ribbon slip through her fingers and onto the floor as she carefully removed the silver wrapping paper, not wanting to rip it. Once the paper was off of the box Clary opened the lid and revealed a silver chain, much like the one Jace had been wearing. Clary picked up the chain curiously and shook the box a little, as she did there was a sliding sound. Clary removed the foam that the chain had been resting on and uncovered a silver ring. A family ring. Shaking her head, Clary put the ring on the chain and put it around her neck, allowing the ring to lie in the hollow of her neck right above her collarbones.

Clary wondered if Jace had planned things to go the way they did or if it had been fate. Whichever it was Clary didn't really care, because for the first time in weeks or even months, Clary fell asleep that night happy.

I'm so sorry this took so long. I meant to post this over a week ago but things picked up again and I didn't have time to finish the chapter when I wanted. I hope you enjoyed it, let me know what you thought about it.