Warning: This chapter is where it starts to get a little bit weird, I might even say perverse, but it all serves a purpose in establishing characters and so on. Plus, I'm a 16 year old male human being. Forgive me.
Mitsoki Chapter 3:
It's Hard to be a Saint in the Feudal Era
They waved goodbye as Kagome escaped down the well and returned to her time. Following that, everybody just stood there for a while.
"So let me get this straight," Mitsoki commentated, "She goes back to her time, and we just wait here for her?"
"What else?" said Miroku, "We can't continue on without her."
"We just stand here like idiots for days at a time?" asked Mitsoki.
"No, we set up camp and do stuff, but we don't usually leave this spot," answered Miroku.
"Wow… that sounds boring," said Mitsoki.
"Yeah, but it's all worth it when Kagome comes back," said Inuyasha longingly.
"You guys really have a good thing going, don't you?" inquired Mitsoki.
"What are you talking about?" denied Inuyasha, "Me and her? I would never!"
"Oh, come on. 'It's all worth it when she comes back'?" continued Mitsoki.
"I just mean when we get to go back to searching for the jewel shards, you know, the thrill of the hunt," said Inuyasha.
"Admit it, you guys are into each other," concluded Mitsoki.
"Why you! —" Started Inuyasha.
"There's no need to get confrontational about it. There's nothing to be ashamed of, Kagome's a very attractive woman," reassured Mitsoki.
"Hey! There's nothing between us!" snarled Inuyasha.
"If you say so," said Mitsoki, though his expression said, "Yeah freaking right."
"Oh no," said Shippo to Sango, "They're going to fight."
"You really want to do this, buddy?" said Inuyasha, cracking his knuckles.
This isn't good, thought Mitsoki, Why does he want to fight so badly anyways? It's as if he just wants to fight anyways. I'm just the outlet. If we do fight, he'll have a clear strength advantage.
While he was thinking this, he wasn't saying anything. Inuyasha took that as an acceptance. The fight was on.
"Let's do this, Kitty," said Inuyasha, getting in charging stance.
"Oh, I get it, a racial epithet. Well, I really didn't want to do this, but you've stepped over the line," said Mitsoki, getting in Muay Thai stance.
Inuyasha charged. Mitsoki sidestepped the half-demon and tried to grab his arm. Inuyasha saw this coming and, instead of pulling his arm back, pushed it straight ahead instead, getting a fist full of feline face. Mitsoki was knocked of his feet, but managed to roll through and regain his footing. Inuyasha charged again, arm outstretched. Mitsoki saw this tactical error and pounced. He grabbed the hand and dove over Inuyasha's head. Inuyasha's arm swung with the cat demon and, upon reaching the farthest it would go, pulled his body down with it. Mitsoki capitalized on his fallen foe and the fact that he still had his arm. He placed the arm between his legs (get those thoughts out of your head, I mean through his legs) and, maintaining a grip, began to pull as hard as he could. Inuyasha, sensing that defeat could be a mere heartbeat away, did the first thing that came to his head: he stood to his feet. He lifted his entrapped arm, as well as the entrapper, high above his head. Realizing what was next, Mitsoki released Inuyasha's hand and, keeping the hold with his legs, he back flipped to grab Inuyasha's leg. Then, as the onlookers watched with an expression that said both, "Stop the madness!" and "Pass the popcorn", Mitsoki pulled as hard as he could on the leg. Inuyasha lost his balance as both men tumbled to the ground. Mitsoki retracted his body like he had with the moth demon and, using his leg grip on Inuyasha's arm, put all the pressure on Inuyasha's leg. Inuyasha struggled, physically unable to escape and mentally unable to admit defeat. After Mitsoki had held the hold for about thirty seconds, he released. Both men got to their feet and stared at each other. One with disdain, the other with satisfaction.
"You made the mistake of challenging me to my kind of fight," explained Mitsoki, "If we had fought with swords, I'd lose the fight and a lot more, but in shoot fighting, I win."
"Next time, we'll fight with swords," threatened Inuyasha.
"You'd really take my life all because I said you were in a perfectly normal adult relationship?" questioned Mitsoki.
"I told you, there's nothing going on," said Inuyasha.
"Someday, you'll have to stop running from the truth. Until then, learn to curb your temper or there will be a lot of blood shed," advised Mitsoki.
The two stared at each other for what looked like an eternity, but was really only thirty seconds. Inuyasha stared with unbridled fury, Mitsoki returned with a mixture of curiosity and knowing. And yes, a little bit of anger. They could've stared forever had Sango not broken the silence.
"Well, I hate to break this memorable moment, but we have to set up camp," she said.
"That we do," said Miroku, desperate to start a conversation.
"Well then… let's do it," said Shippo, desperate to indicate that everyone was moving on, and that Inuyasha and Mitsoki should do the same.
"We could stare at each other all day, but they're right," said Mitsoki.
"Fine by me," said Inuyasha coldly.
By the time they set up camp, dusk had fallen. Mitsoki whipped up his now-famous lentil and bean curry, making it non-spicy by adding lemon and less of the heat-packing seasonings. No one else bothered to make anything else, the curry was more than good enough (shameless vegetarian plug, sorry. GO GREENIES! E-mail for more information). He was done, and it was dark, they ate. Except Inuyasha, of course, who was still pissed at Mitsoki, and consequently refused to eat anything he had made. Mitsoki, having made it non-spicy for him, was upset, but decided to let time heal all wounds. Besides, Inuyasha would get hungry. They all got drowsy and, after a while, all went to bed. Inuyasha got up in the middle of the night to eat the curry, telling no one ever (Mitsoki guessed when all the leftovers were gone). They were all woken up by Kagome's perky voice the next morning.
"I'm back everyone," she said, "Wake up! Hey, you guys had curry again last night. Did you save me some?"
"There should still be some in the pot," said Mitsoki groggily.
"There isn't," responded Kagome.
"Oh. I have no idea what happened to it," he said, knowing full well what happened to it.
"Morning guys," said Inuyasha, climbing out of the tent-thingy and wiping his eyes, "Good morning, Sango, Miroku, Shippo, Kirara, Kagome."
"Why didn't he mention Mitsoki?" said Kagome, whispering to Sango.
"They had a fight yesterday. Inuyasha was being a jerk," answered Sango, "They got into it with flying fists and everything."
"Why would Inuyasha still be mad? Fights always cheer him up," pondered Kagome.
"He lost," answered Sango.
"Hey, Mitsoki, while I was at home, I realized who you remind me of," said Kagome.
"Who?" asked Mitsoki.
"Well, I got looking at my CD collection, and I realized you really look like Ziggy Stardust," said Kagome.
"Who is that?" asked Mitsoki.
"Well, rock musician David Bowie used to dye his hair orange and called himself Ziggy Stardust, sort of a persona," explained Kagome.
"I think you mentioned him once," said Miroku.
"Here, I have the Ziggy Stardust CD," said Kagome, handing Mitsoki the CD.
"What's a CD?" asked Mitsoki, glancing at the album cover and remarking, "Yeah, he does look like me."
"Here, stick the CD in this thing and listen through these things," said Kagome, handing him a portable CD player and motioning to the headphones.
"Okay," said Mitsoki, putting the CD in and putting the headphones near his head.
"No, stick the headphones on your head, so that the padded parts cover your ears," explained Kagome.
"Oh, I guess that would make a little more sense," said Mitsoki, doing as dictated. Kagome pushed play and the sound of Five Years started to play.
"Wow, this is pretty good," said Mitsoki, departing to a log to sit and listen.
"He's been nothing but good things so far, hasn't he?" commented Kagome.
"You're only saying that because he embarrassed Inuyasha," said Sango.
"Oh, and you don't like him?" asked Kagome.
"I like him, I'm just not jumping to sing his praises," laughed Sango.
"Well, I think he's great," said Kagome.
"Yeah, he keeps Inuyasha from walking all over me," said Shippo.
"Hey, he hasn't been that great to me," said Inuyasha.
"SIT!" Kagome screamed, then, calmly, "See how you're not writhing in pain right now? Who do you think you owe that to?"
"He's still a douche bag," said Inuyasha.
"Why, just because he hurt you a little?" mocked Shippo.
"Yeah, that was all your fault," said Sango.
"All my fault?" Inuyasha said, as if Sango had spoken those words wearing a giant banana suit and singing "Peanut butter jelly time", "He said… umm… you know what he said."
"What did he say?" asked Kagome.
"I'm not telling you," answered Inuyasha.
"Hey, why not?" demanded Kagome.
"Well… he… said… he said that there was something between us," said Inuyasha.
"Isn't there?" asked Kagome.
"No, we're just comrades," answered Inuyasha.
"What about that kiss?" asked Kagome.
"Kiss?" asked Miroku, Sango and Shippo simultaneously. Well, okay, Shippo was just feigning ignorance.
"Okay, fine. I love you. There, it's been said. Happy now?" said Inuyasha.
"Yes, very happy," said Kagome. Their eyes met like they had when he had injured his shoulder. They drew themselves close together, blocking out all other people in the area. Who cared if they saw this? Everything was out in the open now. Shippo, Miroku, Sango and even Mitsoki, now awkwardly dancing to Starman, faded into oblivion, and they began another long, beautiful kiss. They were going at each other ferociously now. They kissed with an eternity of held back intensity, not like before, when they were worried about discovery.
"Geez, you guys, are you trying to kiss or eat each other?" commented Shippo, before being met by a stifling smack in the head from Miroku.
"Let's give them a moment's peace, shall we?" proposed Miroku.
"You took the words right out of my mouth," said Sango. Seconds later, she asked, "Hey, if it works for them, why can't we love on the road?"
"Umm… well… because… they may look happy now, but when it gets down to it, they won't be able to function," defended Miroku.
"Sure, you just don't want to give up the flirting with other women," said Shippo, who was promptly met with a second smack.
The three walked away, Shippo rubbing his head, while Inuyasha and Kagome celebrated Kagome's most interesting return to the feudal era yet. They didn't stop until well into Suffragette City, when they were distracted by Mitsoki's loud but oddly good attempts to sing along. That was a moment killer.
"I think you owe him something," said Kagome.
"What? I already gave him my Tetsusaiga demonstration," said Inuyasha.
"I mean an apology," said Kagome, "He was clearly on the money."
"Fine, I guess you're right," admitted Inuyasha.
"He's only got one more song to go, he shouldn't be long," said Kagome.
As if on cue, Mitsoki's ears were drawn to the modest guitar intro of Rock and Roll Suicide. He listened as time took a cigarette and put it in the mouth. He listened as Chev brakes were snarling, and the drums kicked in. He had no idea what a Chev was, but he wanted to know. He listened to the apex of Bowie screaming, "You're not alone!" He listened right up until the final stroke of the string orchestra. He removed the headphones and walked over to Kagome.
"That was terrific," said Mitsoki, handing her the CD player, "Thank you."
"You're welcome. I think Inuyasha has something to say to you," said Kagome.
"I'm… sorry about yesterday," said Inuyasha, not being used to apologizing, "As it turned out, you were right. Kagome and I really are in love. You were just observant enough to notice it."
"I accept your apology," said Mitsoki, "now, before we all die of boredom, let's go do something fun."
"Like what?" asked Kagome.
"Like go out for a whole day of partying at the nearest town," suggested Mitsoki.
"I could go for that," said Inuyasha.
"I second that," said Kagome.
"Hey you guys, we're going to town by going to town," said Mitsoki to the distanced three. They heard and started to head towards the other three, Miroku barrelling as fast as he could, Sango and Shippo walking.
On their way, they came to a forest, then a clearing. In that clearing, Shippo noticed something.
"Demons!" he cried quietly. The others looked ahead and saw that he was right. Three demon women stood chatting in the clearing. One was a redhead, the other two had white hair. They were all well-figured and two were scantily clad. The game had been disbanded. The other (white-haired) wore long, flowing red.
"My wind scar should fix this," said Inuyasha.
"No, listen, they're talking about rouge. They're probably relatively harmless," said Mitsoki, "I'll handle this."
Mitsoki walked out into the clearing and started walking towards the demons. They looked at him and the redhead said, "Can we help you?"
"Do you want to help me?" asked Mitsoki coyly.
"Oh no, he's flirting," muttered Shippo, burying his face in his hands.
"Can you blame him?" asked Miroku, getting a fist in the face from Sango in response.
"Do you need any help?" asked the white-haired demon in black, playing his game.
"Don't we all?" countered Mitsoki.
"Farota, stop this pathetic flirting!" the second white-haired demon, wearing red, commanded, "Cat demon, what do you want?"
"I was just passing through," he answered.
"And?" asked the demon in red.
"That's it," responded Mitsoki.
"Well then leave us," she demanded harshly.
"Come on, sister, let's not be so hostile," said Farota.
"If he has no purpose here, he should leave," said the demon in red.
"Why does everything have to have a purpose?" asked Mitsoki, "Isn't life more fun without one?"
"I'm going to have to agree with those two," said the redhead.
"Traitor," the one in red muttered.
"Speaking of things with no purpose, my friends and I are going into town to get really drunk, party and probably do some things we'll regret, would you ladies care to join us?" offered Mitsoki.
"Your friends?" asked the redhead.
"Yeah, they're in the bushes over there. Hey guys! Come on out!" said Mitsoki.
"What were they doing hiding in the bushes?" asked the redhead as the entire group walked out of the brush.
"Would you just walk out and talk to total strangers?" answered Mitsoki.
"You did," said Farota.
"I'm not normal," explained Mitsoki.
"Ah," said Farota.
"So… partying, you in?" asked Mitsoki.
"I'm in," said Farota.
"If she's in, I'm in," said the redhead.
"Well… I guess I can't very well let my sisters go off with you alone," said the one in red, "I'll come too."
"Well then, I guess we're all agreed. Let's give that town a day they'll never forget," said Mitsoki, walking in the direction of the town.
Just after they started walking, Kagome leaned into Mitsoki's ear. "Are you sure we can trust them?" she asked.
"You trusted me," Answered Mitsoki, grinning slyly.
"I guess you're right," said Kagome.
"Besides, even if they do turn out to be trouble, we can take them," Mitsoki chuckled.
"I heard that," said the demon in red, laughing for the first time since they had met.
"Don't worry, you'd kill us," said Mitsoki, "By the way, I never did catch your name."
"I'm Angie," said the demon in red.
"Ziggy Stardust and Angie," said Kagome, laughing to a joke only she understood.
"What's so funny?" asked Angie, "And who's Ziggy Stardust?"
"Never mind," said Kagome, not wanting to imply anything.
"Actually, cat demon, I never caught your name either," said Angie.
"My name is Mitsoki," said… Mitsoki.
"I'm Lakuda," said the redhead.
"Angie, Farota and Lakuda," said Mitsoki, "Welcome to the greatest day of your life."
"I'm holding you to that," came Miroku, entering the conversation for the first time.
By then, they had just about reached the town. They were on the outskirts; they could see all the little farms that dotted the landscape. People were growing all sorts of things: onions, leeks, potatoes and, to Mitsoki's disgust, livestock. They ventured further in town, enduring cries of "Demons!" and responding with "They're with us, you racist pigs!" (This was from Kagome, no one else knew the term "Racist Pigs"). Inuyasha and his crew were well known and respected. Mitsoki less so, but villagers knew enough not to fear him. Angie, Farota and Lakuda, on the other hand, were a different story. Still, stares or no stares, they ventured into the main part of town and began looking for something to do. This being the feudal era, there were no clearly marked nightclubs. Something must be happening somewhere, and they were going to find it. They stopped to ask a random villager.
"Excuse me, sir?" asked Mitsoki, "We're adventurers, mercenaries, whatever cliché you want, and we've just arrived here in town. We're looking to let loose, kick back, scrape some of the blood off our toes, generally have a good time. Do you know where we can do that?"
"Well, I'd recommend the inn down the street. There's always some kind of party going on there," answered the man.
"You mean that one?" asked Inuyasha, pointing towards an inn.
"No, the one across the street," said the man, pointing to an inn directly across from the other one.
"Oh," said Inuyasha.
They wandered towards the inn, walked inside and instantly saw just what they were looking for. There was indeed a party. Of course, it was the feudal era, so there wasn't really loud music, dancing or Crystal Meth, but there was alcohol, laughing and that one idiot who always picks fights with all the bigger people who were, in this case, all demons. They didn't see this and, upon seeing a tiger demon beating the crap out of a random guy, they rushed in to stop it.
"Hey, what do you think you're doing?" yelled Inuyasha.
"Everyone a huge favour," responded the Tiger demon.
"Don't try to help. I can ta… take hib… him… ugh," said the man, bleeding from the mouth, forehead, shoulder and, surprisingly, not the nose.
"Why are you attacking an innocent man?" asked Kagome.
"He started it. He called my mother a whore and then punched me in the kidneys," said the tiger demon.
"It's true. He did the same to me," said a moth demon with bruised knuckles.
"Well, I'm just going to let you take care of that," said Mitsoki, wandering over to the bar.
"I'm with him," said Miroku, following.
"Just leave him alive," said Kagome.
"What they said," added Sango.
"Talk to me later if you want a real fight," said Inuyasha, before Kagome actually dragged him away.
"Just talk to me later," whispered Lakuda as everyone else was leaving.
About an hour later, everyone was drunk to the point where the table was the sky; Lakuda and the tiger demon were definitely enjoying themselves and Mitsoki had somehow ended up wearing Sango's battle outfit.
"Well, thish ish the most fun I've ever… You know what was fun? Turkeys," rambled Mitsoki.
"You got lucky in that fight. I could've killed you but I didn't because I love you man. I mean, why you gotta be so like that? I… I'm drunk," said Inuyasha.
"You know what we should do?" started Angie, "We should get some more sake and some more alcohol."
"No, you've had enough," slurred Kagome, "And you stole that line from Friends, which hasn't been invented for another five hundred years. One of us, one of us has to stay sober to tell everyone else when they're drunk, and it's… anyone got any chips?"
"We should go out and do something," suggested Mitsoki.
"Or someone," said Miroku, laughing like an idiot.
"You shut up monk," said Sango, still semi-sober, "And Mitsoki, give me my clothes back."
"I'm not wearing your, oh crap, how did that happen?" babbled Mitsoki.
"What a shame. I liked you, too," lamented Angie.
"What? Oh no, I'm not… no…" panicked Mitsoki, much to the amusement of all surrounding.
"That's a relief," said Angie, before passing out.
"Wait… did she just say she liked me?" asked Mitsoki.
"Someone's getting some," Miroku whispered to the person beside him, before realizing it was Kagome, and getting punched in the head. Then he leaned over to Inuyasha and muttered, "Looks like someone's on her time of the month." Inuyasha, hearing this about the woman he loved, promptly put him in a headlock and didn't let go until he passed out. Oddly enough, no one stopped him.
"We're dropping like flies!" said Mitsoki, "Any one of you could be next! Or it could be me!" Then, from that shock, he passed out.
"Well, to be fair, we all kind of knew he was going to wind up unconscious sooner or later," said Inuyasha, "That kind of life can't be healthy."
"What kind of life?" asked Kagome.
"Come on, that guy is an explosion waiting to happen," said Inuyasha.
"I think that guy at the other end of the bar is looking at you," said Kagome.
"Where? I'll kill him!" said Inuyasha.
"I rest my case," said Kagome.
"I thought you guys were in love," said Farota.
"We are," said Kagome.
"You seem to fight quite a bit," commented Farota.
"I was just pointing out his hypocrisy," said Kagome.
"Just because it's true doesn't mean you should say it," said Farota.
"I said that once," said Miroku, regaining consciousness for a second, then falling back into obscurity.
"Yeah, that's a good point," said Inuyasha, "Why are you always so mean to me? Even since this morning, you've still been insulting me every five minutes."
"Oh yeah? Well what about me?" asked Kagome, "You call me wench and whore and—"
"Yeah, but I don't really mean any of it," said Inuyasha.
"Well, it still hurts," said Kagome.
"Well maybe it hurts when you call me an idiot every time I turn around," said Inuyasha.
"Well I don't really mean it either," said Kagome. It was half true. She was really just kidding on the square (kidding, but also kind of meaning it. Blame Al Franken if you don't like the phrase).
"Hmm… maybe we should stop doing that," said Inuyasha.
"Yeah, we'll have to do that," said Kagome, before losing consciousness.
"What a lightweight," said Farota, before passing out.
"Well, Sango, I guess it's just you and me," said Inuyasha, then passing out himself, giving the unofficial crown to Sango. She decided it would be best if she just got another couple of shots and then went into the dream herself.
Mitsoki and Angie stumbled into their room. Ten hours ago, she had radiated cold disdain in his direction. Nine hours and fifty-eight minutes later, he got her to laugh. Five hours ago, she had admitted she liked him. Now this. Mitsoki questioned the morality of what he was about to do. He barely knew this girl, but he knew he liked her. Angie didn't question it at all. She knew she shouldn't be doing this. But, at this time and in this place, reality was melting. Truth was imaginary. She was running on pure sensory. And her senses weren't holding back. They lay down. What happened next couldn't be described from either point of view. It just happened. Now it was just happening. They lay pressing their newfound love through the night. Finally, after three hours, they rolled off each other, breathing heavily but not noticing. It would be a full ten minutes before either one of them would return fully to their senses. By then their breathing had slowed down, and they turned to look at each other. Mitsoki saw Angie. He took in her full beauty. They stared in silent reverence of what they had done, and of each other, for another ten minutes. The silence was broken by a very loud noise from the next room. It was a woman.
"Stop holding back monk! Give me everything you've got!" yelled the woman. Sango's going to be pissed. thought Mitsoki. Then it suddenly hit him: It was Sango. He looked over at Angie, who had it hit her just as suddenly. They stared silent for a few seconds, then burst out laughing. After a minute, they calmed down and slipped into a gentle sleep, wrapped around each other.
The next morning, everyone woke up and headed to the lobby of the inn they had checked into the night before. Angie and Mitsoki arrived smiling with their arms around each other. Miroku and Sango arrived together, Sango smiling, Miroku shivering slightly. Lakuda and the tiger demon, who's name was revealed to be Tensoku, arrived next. Both of them simply had enormous smiles on their faces, as Tensoku carried Lakuda so that her legs were wrapped around his torso, and she sat back slightly. Farota arrived solo, looking around at everyone else and thinking to herself how happy she was that she hadn't done anything yet that she might regret. Lastly arrived Inuyasha and Kagome, who were both very happy but, contrary to all appearances, hadn't actually done anything last night, save maybe a little liplocking. They all looked around; everyone except Farota wondering if everyone else had noticed what they were doing last night. Even Inuyasha and Kagome. Kagome was still under the impression that she had done something dirty, and Inuyasha still feeling as though he was cheating on Kikyou. At this moment, Shippo walked in and wondered why everyone was so quiet. Finally, someone broke the silence.
"So… how was your night?" asked Kagome of Sango.
"Well, I didn't sleep too well," Sango responded.
"Uncomfortable?" asked Kagome.
"Nope," responded Sango.
"Let's go get some breakfast!" blurted out Miroku with the feeling of someone vomiting sharply.
"Sounds great. Where?" asked Lakuda.
"I'm still full from last night," joked Tensoku.
"I think I saw somewhere down the street," said Mitsoki, "The sign said they had some kind of trademark dish without a name. It's supposed to be some kind of spicy soybean roll."
"For breakfast?" asked Kagome.
"Hey, at this point, there's not that much I'm not open to," said Tensoku.
"Well then, let's try the spicy soybean roll," said Sango.
"But what if it hurts my tongue?" asked Inuyasha.
"Trust me, I'll take good care of your tongue," said Kagome, leaning in and kissing him.
"Soybean roll it is," proclaimed Inuyasha.
They proceeded down the road to the establishment and stepped inside. What greeted them could best be described as eclectic. The walls were an obscure shade of purple that looked oddly like dried mud, but the ceiling was bright pink. There were no floors, but the grass that grew on the ground had not only survived, but had this bizarre growth on top of it. It was like the dome of a mushroom, but made out of the same material as standard green plant life. They all walked in and as if in consensus decided to try the soybean roll. The only slight moderation being Mitsoki getting his without fish. They sat down and began to eat, the spices tantalizing their taste buds, which hadn't experienced anything in over ten hours. Except for Tensoku and Lakuda, but this is a T fic, so I won't elaborate.
"This isn't bad," remarked Miroku.
"No, not at all. I wouldn't have thought cloves and vinegar together, but it works," commented Mitsoki.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAH SWEET DEATH!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Inuyasha, finding out just how much he could take.
"What a lightweight," remarked Farota for the second time.
"That's what you said last night," said Lakuda to Tensoku.
"Look, we really don't need to hear all he details of your wild night last night," snapped Sango.
"Well excuse me, but we really didn't all need to hear the actual event of your wild night last night either," shot back Lakuda as Sango recoiled in mortification.
"You guys… you guys heard that?" asked Sango.
"Unborn children heard that," answered Lakuda.
"Oh… I, I can't… I'm so sorry I—" blurted Sango.
"There's nothing wrong with it," said Angie, "You two were just expressing your love for each other. That's just natural, no matter how… loud and wild it was."
"WILL SOMEONE HELP ME?" screamed Inuyasha before Kagome finally shut him up with her mouth, fulfilling her earlier promise.
"Really? You guys don't think we're sick?" asked Sango.
"No, not at all," said Mitsoki.
"I might," muttered Kagome.
"Get back to your public lovemaking," snapped Lakuda.
"What? I was just kidding," defended Kagome.
"Well, I'm done," said Shippo, putting down his chopsticks.
"Oh, that's right, we're eating," realized Miroku, looking down as the last bit of shock wore off and he downed the entire roll in a single bite. Seconds later, an entire new shock hit. Sango moved in to duplicate what appeared to be working for Inuyasha and Kagome, but this only freaked Miroku out more, and he ran for the door. Sango stepped up to follow him just as Mitsoki finished his roll and Inuyasha opted to venture another bite. It didn't go well. At this point, it occurred to Kagome that at some point she would have to eat, but decided it was best not to think about it now. They ate in cold, shocked silence for a few minutes, wondering what was, at this exact moment, going on outside. Everyone finished except for Inuyasha and Kagome. Finally Kagome broke the kiss.
"Look, this is great, but I really have to eat something other than your tongue before I die and we never get the chance to do this again," she commented.
"Fine. I have to use the bathroom anyways," said Inuyasha, venturing back to what appeared to be a pot behind a curtain. When he came back, Kagome had finished her roll and he realized it was now just him and hellfire. Hellfire staring back at him. He took a deep breath, bit the bullet and took three rapid bites finishing it all. He ripped it to shreds as fast as his doglike teeth would allow and ground it into oblivion with his molars, desperately trying to down the offending meal before the spice kicked in and he had second thoughts. Finally, he swallowed. He waited. Then the spice came like the sharp metal of a broken beer can slicing his gums and tongue into whole new shapes and levels of pain. He let out a scream, much to both the horror and entertainment of all present, but especially to those sitting at the table he now realized wasn't his. He looked over at what was revealed to be his own soybean roll, searched his brain for some way to avoid the realization that he still had to eat it, picked up the bowl, placed it in front of the man who's roll he had just eaten and yelled "Here!" before running out the back door still screaming in pain.
Best Monty Python Narrator Voice: Meanwhile, with the not so happy couple.
Sango chased after Miroku. They made it all the way to the edge of town before he tripped over a rock and slowed, causing Sango to hit him in the back running. He tried to get up and get away, but Sango gently pulled him back.
"I just want to talk," were the first words out of her mouth. They sent a slight wave of calm over Miroku.
"I'm listening," said Miroku.
"About last night," she began, "I'm sorry. I know I got a little crazy and I must have scared you to death. But you just inspire so many emotions in me, and as much as the main one is love, I've just spent so much of my life thinking of you as a despicable lecher that I had a little bit of unresolved anger."
"Okay," Miroku began, trying to take in the obscurity of the statement he had just heard. His girlfriend, his one and only real love, hated him? "So you can't stand the sight of me? Is that what you're trying to say?"
"No, not at all," Sango responded, "I just used to. Before I really knew you. No matter how much more I know now, those kinds of feelings don't just go away."
"Oh," comprehended Miroku, "Now I get it. But you don't hate me now?"
"No," reassured Sango, "But that's still no excuse for the way I acted last night. I completely understand if you hate me."
"Oh no, I'm not scared of what we did last night. I just wasn't ready for it. I wasn't at all prepared to do what we did… that way… with you. But now that we're out in the open, we can do it that way again and again," said Miroku.
"You… like that?" asked Sango, becoming confused.
"Sure," said Miroku.
"You're sick!" proclaimed Sango, getting up to leave.
"No, I don't mean I like it as a rule. I just mean I'm okay with it as long as it's with you," clarified Miroku.
"Oh," pondered Sango, "So does that mean we're good again?"
"I guess. You're good with me. Am I good with you?" asked Miroku.
"You're good with me," answered Sango. They shared a quick kiss, and then got up off the ground.
Meanwhile, back at the restaurant, Inuyasha had stopped running around in circles with his tongue sticking out, proclaiming himself to be the amphibian messiah. They had all gone up collectively and paid for the food, and were now heading out to find Miroku and Sango. Miroku and Sango were just coming back at the time. They reunited and tried to decide what to do next.
"I hate to admit it, but I'm kind of tired of partying," confessed Angie.
"And I'm just kind of tired," remarked Lakuda.
"Well, we could just go set up camp and relax for the day," suggested Kagome.
"Set up camp?" asked Farota.
"Oh, did we not mention? We're all travelling together, sort of like adventurers," said Mitsoki.
"I thought that was just a line you used to find the best places to party," admitted Angie.
"I can't see how that wouldn't have come up in conversation," said Mitsoki.
What have I gotten myself into? thought Angie, I've slept with him already, and I didn't even know this about him?
"Well, I'm cool with adventuring. Count me in," volunteered Tensoku.
"I guess it's a little weird, but I'm in," said Angie.
"Wow, you got Angie in. How can I resist?" conceded Farota.
"At this point, I really couldn't be out," said Lakuda, "Just as long as I don't have to fight. I hate violence. I have mild healing powers. I'll use those."
"Well, aren't we one big family?" commented Kagome.
"I hope not," exclaimed Lakuda and Tensoku in unison.
"I agree. One big family. One sick, twisted, perverted, depraved family," said Farota with a grin.
"Don't you just love it?" asked Mitsoki rhetorically.
"You know, I think I do," responded Farota.
"So… just what are we attempting to accomplish?" asked Angie.
"What do you mean?" asked Mitsoki.
"This adventure you guys are on. I just signed up for it, I'm kind of curious to know what I'm getting myself into," answered Angie.
"We're attempting to kill the demon Naraku. We all have our reasons," answered Mitsoki.
Angie felt a chill. These are the ones, she thought.
Endnotes (and not like Ann Coulter's endnotes, which she uses for pure evil, but I won't get into that now): For those of you who have stuck by this far, thank you so much. I know it got a bit weird, but the next chapter will be more normal. I'm going to keep this fic at a T rating, unless enough of you review and disagree. My main concern is that this will no longer show up on the main list of stories if I give it the dreaded M rating. Also, I apologize for taking so FREAKING LONG! But in the eternal dust storm that is my life, it sometimes takes me a while. Either way, to all my fans, peace out. To all my haters, up yours, and to everyone in between… up out? Peace yours. All kidding aside, much love and happiness to all. Please review. If my story is not succeed, I will be execute. Sorry, Borat.
PPS. Thanks to Richard O'Brian (the guy who did Rocky Horror Picture Show) for supplying the line "The game had been disbanded" and to David Bowie for the line "Pressing their newfound love through the night." And thanks to both of them for not suing. Right? Right? Seriously, not worth it. Don't sue.