My Brother's Keeper

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

- The Beatles, Blackbird.

"There we go, all done," the doctor commented as he finished up a stitch on Barney's shoulder, placing a waterproof dressing over the wound. "That wasn't so bad, was it?" he now asked cheerily, trying to placate his unhappy charge.

Barney sniffed and buried his face into the pillow, exhausted from his own tears. Lily, who was sitting by the bed smiled gently, reaching out her hand to ruffle his hair before leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. The doctor had been cleaning and stitching up some of the numerous wounds on Barney's back and shoulders. It was a slow process, having to clean and dress the wounds each day, finding the ones that were clear of debris and infection to stitch up, and checking the ones too wide for stitches to see if they were healing as an open wound. It was also a painful process for the patient and heartbreaking to watch as a friend. Still they tried to be there with him through the procedures as much as possible, holding his hand and talking him through it as he whimpered and begged for them to "stop" and that "it hurt". It was still strange to see Barney in this state, so open and readable, his emotions and pain displayed clearly for everyone to see and know. Ted remembered back to Barney's bus accident a couple of years back, when Barney would clench his jaw tightly, hand pumping the morphine drip in futility all the while assuring everyone that he was awesome because "when Barney Stinson hurts, he just stops hurting and becomes awesome instead." But that was Barney then, and this now was regressed Barney – a Barney who had been so badly hurt, no, tortured, by someone that his mind could no longer do "be awesome instead". Could not even do normal "hurting", but had regressed back to that of a scared little child in order just to cope. Now Ted watched as Barney clung to Lily whilst she whispered reassuring words into his ear, lulling him to rest, and Ted smiled thinking of how the normal Barney would balk and shudder at such a scene even though, Ted suspected, he would've been secretly enjoying it. The phone vibrating in his pocket broke him out of his thoughts and he pulled it out to see who it was.

James.

Ted quickly leapt to his feet. "I... I have to take this," he announced before racing out the door and down the corridor to an exit.

"Ted, where's Barney?" James greeted him as soon as he picked up. James' voice was low, missing its usual flamboyance and hiding a hint of...panic? "Ted?" he asked again when Ted didn't respond.

"James, yes... look James, you need get here now, something's happened," Ted answered, snapping out of his thoughts.

"I'm already in New York, got on the first flight I could. Where are you guys, what's happened? Is Barney okay?"

"We're at a hospital in New Jersey, don't worry, Barney is... alive," Ted answered, giving James the address. "Look, I'll let you know the details when you get here, just hurry."

Two of the detectives working on Barney's case were already waiting with Ted in the lobby of the hospital when James arrived, his luggage in tow.

"Ted? Where's Barney?" he asked as soon as he spotted them, hastily making his way over. He scanned the officers. "Why're they here? Is Barney okay? I need to see Barney," he panicked, trying to push his way past Ted to the receptionist. Ted gently pulled him back.

"Calm down James, Barney's okay for now, he's not in any danger."

"Mr. James Stinson? Are you Barney Stinson's brother?" one of the detectives spoke up, looking questioningly at Ted. Ted and James nodded at the same time, but the detective continued to look confused.

"I know, I'm black, Barney's white, but he's my real brother, we share the same Mom," James explained impatiently. The detective finally nodded.

"Well, in that case, I'm Detective Campbell and this is Detective Smith. We're investigating your brother Barney Stinson's case."

"What case?" asked James.

"Your brother was found a week ago, gravely injured by the side of the highway. Before that Mr. Mosby had reported him missing for a week. From the evidence we have, and the details of his injuries, we believe he may have been the victim of a kidnapping and assault. As his brother, you may be able to assist us in gaining some leads on his case."

"Barney's hurt?" James turned to Ted. Ted nodded, pulling the older man to sit down onto one of the waiting room benches.

"He's hurt pretty badly James, but the doctor says he should be able to recover in time... physically..."

"But if he's okay, then why can't Barney tell you guys what happened?"

Ted sighed, swallowing to keep down the lump rising in his throat.

"Barney... doesn't remember what happened. He's... the psychologist said that whatever he went through... it was so traumatizing that his mind is unable to cope, so he doesn't remember anything from the ordeal..."

James stood up again. "Ted, I have to see him."

"Wait... that's not all of it. Barney...he's... the psychologist said..." Ted sighed. "He's regressed." James shook his head, not quite understanding.

"His mind has regressed to that of a four to five year old child. The psychologist said that sometimes... when people face trauma, they... that can happen. He's... different now James. His mind... it doesn't think like Barney."

James sat down again, this time to keep himself from collapsing.

"This is why we need your help Mr. Stinson. Sometimes, regression can occur due to an event that triggers memories of similar trauma in the past, so the person will regress to the age when the trauma first occurred," spoke up Detective Campbell. "Did you know of anything traumatic that may have occurred in Barney's life when he was younger? Or perhaps, you know someone by the name of Ryan?"

"Ryan?" James took a shaky breath.

"Yes, we had one of our child psychologists assess your brother, trying to prompt some leads from him, and in the process, your brother seemed to respond rather negatively to a person named Ryan. We believe this person may be responsible, or at least played a part in what happened to your brother."

"No... it... no... " James whispered under his breath, burying his head into his hands.

"Pardon, Mr. Stinson?" James rose to look at the officers again.

"R...Ryan Wilson... is the name of the man you're looking for. I... We were on a family trip to Milan, my partner, my son, and I, and we only got back last night to check the messages on our answering machine. Barney had left some, but his last one was from around two weeks ago, and all it said was that Ryan contacted him... and for me to call him back. He sounded terrified. I couldn't get through on his phone, so I got on to the next plane I could find to New York, and that's when I called you," he told them, motioning to Ted.

"No wonder... we've been trying to reach you this whole week," commented Ted.

"Do you have any more information on Ryan Wilson?" the detective asked. James nodded uneasily.

"He's african american, maybe... six foot? Quite bulky, well, last time I saw him. Around... mid fifties now? He may have a criminal record, I'm not entirely sure. Look, I can tell you everything I know, but I really need to see my brother," James pleaded. Detective Campbell nodded as he took down the notes onto a pad.

"We'll go on what you've said for now and see if we come up with anything, especially since, as you said, he may have a criminal record. I'll come up to complete the interview with you later." James nodded and thanked the detectives, before turning to Ted and prompting him to lead the way.

Barney was concentrating on what Lily was doodling on his cast when James walked in to the room, Ted in tow.

"Barnaby?" he asked, wincing when he saw all the bandages, dressings, cast and tubes on his little brother.

"James!" Barney happily exclaimed, reaching out his free arm towards him.

"Hey Barnaby," James greeted him again, this time walking over to envelop him into a hug. Barney winced when James accidentally brushed the open wounds on his back and James quickly let go, cupping his hand under his brother's chin to study the fading bruise on his cheek and the cut on his forehead. "You look like you've been through the wars little bro." Barney smiled.

"Look, Lily is drawing me a Yoda," he held up his cast proudly to show James.

"That's great Barnaby! Hey Lily," he greeted her now. "Robin, Marshall," he turned to greet the others in turn, noticing how tired each of his brother's friends looked, and thankful that Barney had such good friends to look after him. Looking back to his brother, James gently lifted Barney's chin again, this time to look him in the eye. "Barney... this is important, and I'm here, so you're safe, okay? Did... Ryan hurt you?" Barney whimpered, and tried to pull away from him, but James placed his other hand on the back of Barney's neck to stop him.

"Noo..." Barney protested, shaking his head as tears began to fall from his eyes.

"Barney, I need you to tell me if it was Ryan," James repeated, this time more sternly. Barney sobbed and tried to pull away unsuccessfully again.

"Barney's a good boy," he told James tearfully, "no... Barney's a bad boy... he said Barney was a bad boy..."

"So it was him?"

Barney shook his head again. "No..." he whimpered. James gripped his brother hard in frustration.

"Come on Barney, you were the one who called me, left the message on my answering machine saying Ryan was back, remember? I need to know if he was the one that hurt you, think Barney. I know you're scared but you don't have to protect him, just tell us if it was him, was it Ryan who-"

Barney's wail interrupted James, the younger erupting into tears, futilely trying to push James' hand away with his unbroken arm.

"No... no, scared, no.. please don't make me say, please..." he begged, coughing from the strain, which made him sob harder as his injuries were painfully jarred. James immediately stopped when his brother broke down, Ted's words on Barney's mental condition only then really sinking in. Quickly, he pulled Barney into a hug instead, being careful not to hurt him any further.

"I'm so sorry Barnaby, I'm sorry... okay, no more, baby bro, I'm not going to ask anymore, I'm sorry," he apologized as his brother sobbed against him, feeling one of Barney's hands clinging tightly onto his shirt at the back. Eventually, he managed to calm his brother down, gently laying him back down onto the bed, red rimmed eyes and tear stains streaking down his cheeks. The others in the room had gone silent, no one daring to disturb them. James sighed at his brother's sullen expression, then smiled as he remembered something and turned to open his luggage bag.

"Look Barnaby," he started, whilst rummaging around in his luggage, "in Milan we visited this tailor who also specialized in handmade soft toys. We went mainly for Eli, but then Eli said that he wanted one made especially for his favorite Uncle Barney as well, so we got you this," James fished out a intricately detailed plush stormtrooper, and held it out to Barney. Barney pondered the doll speculatively, as if contemplating whether it was a bribe to force more information out of him. James smiled, his brother had always been intelligent like that, even as a kid. "Don't you want it? I'll take it back to Eli if you don't," he threatened amusingly now, prompting Barney to finally reach his hand out to grab the doll and hug it tight against his own chest.

"Thank-you James," he whispered shyly, ducking his face into the stormtrooper's soft helmet. James reached down to ruffle his hair.

"You're welcome Barnaby. I'm sorry for making you cry baby bro, okay?"

Barney nodded, giving James a small smile before tugging at Marshall who was sitting on the other side of the bed.

"Look Marshall, a stormtrooper!"

Marshall smiled back. "That's awesome Barney! Can I... can I look at it?... I promise I'll be careful," he added when Barney hesitated.

Barney studied the toy, then Marshall again, before nodding and holding it out. Marshall carefully took the doll, eyes lighting up in childish wonder as he saw it close up.

"Wow... this is really awesome James! Like... really awesome! Lily.. can we-"

"No Marshall, we're not going all the way to Milan for a Chewbacca replica doll," Lily answered him automatically, causing Marshall to frown sadly before reluctantly handing the stormtrooper back to Barney. James chuckled at the couple and Barney held the doll as far away from Marshall as possible, eyeing him suspiciously.

It was late afternoon by the time Detective Campbell came back for the interview. Lily and Robin were attempting a crossword puzzle inside a copy of Cosmo they had found in the lobby of their hotel, while the boys were involved in a lively debate over Jar Jar Binks as a Star Wars character (well, it was actually more like a combined rant – and Robin called it a boy's bitching session). Barney had fallen asleep a few moments earlier, after making James promise he was still going to be here when he woke up. Upon seeing the detective arrive, the others all got up to give them some privacy, but James called them back.

"Apart from me and Mom, you guys are the most important people in Barney's life, you all deserve to know the truth too," he told them, signaling for them to sit back down onto the makeshift bed the nurses had allowed them to keep in Barney's room for the time being. The detective pulled up a chair from outside into the room and took a seat in the corner.

"Detective Smith is still going through the files on Ryan Wilson from our records," he informed James, who nodded. "What we need to know is of what relation is Ryan to Barney?"

James sighed gently, biting his lip before taking the main seat beside Barney's bed.

"Ryan was Mom's boyfriend..." James began, using his hand to gently grasp Barney's fingers into his own and stroking them comfortingly," and not just one of her usual flings and one nighters – Ryan was in our lives for ten whole months."

James paused as Barney stirred, his unbroken arm shifting slightly before he fell back asleep. James adjusted the stormtrooper Barney was holding before continuing. "I was seven at the time, and Barney was four, turning five. Like any other kid, he was just excited about starting school soon, especially since he saw me going. He would wait by the door every day for me to come home and demand to know all the details. I think even before he started school he already knew all the teacher's names, as well as everyone in my class..." James smiled fondly at the memory. "Anyway, Ryan came into our lives around that time. At first we didn't think much of it, even at that age we were pretty used to Mom bringing home different men for variable amounts of time. They never stayed long, and most of them didn't really bother with us, but Ryan was different. He would bring us gifts, and play baseball with me in the yard, and best of all, it seemed to me at the time, was simply the fact that he stayed around and didn't leave us like all the other men. Mom was happy in a way we'd never seen her be before. She stopped drinking as much, and was home more often. Of course, she still had work waitressing at the local Cafe in the daytime, and Ryan, well, I don't know what he did for a living, but he mostly worked at night, so eventually with him being home in the daytime, Mom stopped taking us to the babysitter's and asked Ryan to look after us instead. I didn't really mind, I liked Ryan and he was fantastic to me. I remember one time when we were playing baseball in the park and he said to me: 'You, me and your Mom, James, we're going to be a family.' I remember asking him 'And Barney too?' which he nodded to. I probably should have noticed something, but I was a kid, and what he said to me, it was everything I had dreamed of forever. A proper family with a mother and a father..." James closed his eyes in reminiscence before reaching his hand out to idly brush Barney's hair to the side from his forehead.

"It was a few months before I started noticing the bruising, just small marks here and there, poking out the side of his sleeves, or on his back when he bent over. I thought nothing of it, just ruffled his hair and teased him about being a klutz. But then it got worst. Broken wrists, fingers, ribs, collar bone... Ryan would tell us these fantastic recounts of how Barney tripped up running after a squirrel they saw at the park, or how he fell from the stairs whilst trying to fly with his homemade wings, so Mom attributed them mostly to just Barney getting older and starting to do more accident prone things. As for me, I was actually kind of jealous Barney was getting to spend so much time doing all these seemingly cool activities with Ryan while I was at school." James stopped, swallowing hard to fight down the tears as he tightly squeezed his brother's hand in his own, leaning over to whisper into Barney's ear, 'I'm so sorry baby Bro...'. He felt a gentle hand grip his shoulder and looked up to see Lily beside him, eyes beckoning him to continue, to be strong for Barney's sake.

"So Ryan had been with us for around half a year when he proposed to Mom in our dining room. I remember beaming happily as Mom accepted, ecstatic that I was about to have a full time father, and someone as cool as Ryan, too. Barney, who was standing next to me, turned to me and asked me what "marry" meant. I remember telling him that Ryan was going to live with us forever now and that he was going to be our Daddy. Maybe I was too caught up in my own happiness at the time to make a big deal of it, but thinking back, I would never forget the terror stricken expression that crossed his face in that moment, the trembling as he clung onto me and whispered that he didn't want Ryan as his Daddy. All I did at the time was hold him and told him to be quiet and to let Mom and Ryan enjoy the moment."

James paused again, sighing. "I should've know, I should've seen it... how could I not have noticed?" he accused himself, letting go of Barney's hand to bury his face into his own. The room was quiet for a long time, James distinctly aware that the only sound was that of his own sobs. He was embarrassed, but too caught up in pain to care. Finally, it was Marshall's voice that broke the silence.

"You were only a child back then... and this Ryan, he manipulated you...you were as much a victim as Barney was. That was then. It happened. Now, you have to make sure it never happens again."

James sniffed, letting the words sink in. Grasping Barney's hand into his own once again, he continued... he owed it to Barney.

"So two months later, there was a pretty serious fire in one of the classrooms at my school and the parents were contacted to bring us home if possible. Since Mom was at work and the phone at home wasn't picking up, no one was coming to get me, but then my friend's Mom offered me a lift, so I took it, thinking that Ryan should be home with Barney so it would be fine. I got home and opened the door, excited to finally be able to join them in their games, when I heard yelling and Barney crying upstairs. I raced up there, thinking he had hurt himself or something and wanting to help when I opened the door and there was Ryan, a belt in his hand standing over my baby brother, bringing it down on him over and over. I was shocked... I didn't know how long I stood at that doorway watching as the belt fell again and again, as Barney screamed and cried. Finally I summoned up the courage to ask Ryan what he was doing, and he said something about Barney being a bad boy... but I couldn't listen anymore... I just couldn't take it anymore… so... I ran away..." James paused again, eyes boring into sleeping Barney's face as tears began to stream down. "Instead of protecting him like a good big brother, I just ran away..." his voice broke, tears now uncontrollable. Everyone stayed silent, patiently giving him the time he needed. Finally, James took a deep breath to compose himself before he continued.

"Anyway, I didn't know where to go, so I just went to the park, the very same one where Ryan had first told me we were going to be a family. He must've known because moments later there he was, sitting next to me and putting his arm around me. I tried to struggle out of it, I didn't want him to touch me after what I had seen, but he was stronger and held me down anyway. So I asked him why, why would he do something like that? And he told me that Barney was being bad, and needed to be taught right. I must've looked unconvinced, because he then told me that me, him and Mom, we were good together, but Barney didn't like him and was going to ruin everything for everyone. I kept silent, out of fear or confusion, I'm not sure... but I nodded when he told me to keep it a secret and we went home. What scared me the most was when I got home, and I expected Barney to be different... to be fearful, or need comforting or something, but he was just sitting there at the desk in our room coloring in a picture... and somehow, that's how I knew... that's how I knew that this wasn't a one off, that this had been happening for a while. All those bruises, the broken bones, they all came back and I knew..." James trailed off, smiling bitterly. On the bed, Barney stirred again, eliciting a small whimper as the movement jarred his numerous injuries. James gently rubbed his shoulder until he fell back into a peaceful doze.

"So I went up to him, to ask him about it, but as soon as he saw me, he just leapt into me, latching on tightly. I could feel his tears soaking through my shirt, his little hands clinging on, his whole body trembling... and I knew I had to do something about it, because he was my little brother, and I had to protect him. So I told Mom. I'm not really sure what happened next, but Ryan and Mom were fighting throughout the night, and next morning, Ryan was packing his things, and Mom took Barney to a babysitter. It was parent-teacher's interview night at my school that day, and usually Mom couldn't be bothered with such things, but she must've been feeling guilty about Barney and me because of Ryan, because she came over to my school afterwards to attend. She told me on the way home that Ryan was leaving us that day and it was going to just be the three of us again, and I was fine with that. So we went over to the babysitter's to pick up Barney after the interview, but the babysitter told us that Ryan had already picked him up earlier... I never felt so panicked and sick before in my life, and Mom must've felt the same way because she just lifted me up, seven years old and growing, and sprinted home with me in her arms. The door was locked, but we could hear the thuds all the way from the outside. I remember Mom's hands fumbling for the keys while I was just pounding on the door trying to knock it down. Eventually we got the door opened and... I can never ever forget the sight. Ryan standing there in the living room, a bloody crow bar in his hand... and he was beating it down onto Barney, over and over... and Barney... he just looked dead..." James' sobs stopped him from continuing. He bent over his brother now, kissing him softly on the cheek, hand running comfortingly through his blonde hair. He's alive... Barney is alive, he grew up, he's alive, he chanted softly to himself.

"We burst in and Mom went crazy yelling at Ryan and grabbing the crow bar from him. Eventually we called the cops and Ryan took off. I still remember sitting there holding my bruised and bloodied baby brother in my arms, while we waited an eternity for the ambulance to come," James swallowed, fighting down the nausea that the memory brought up. "He was in a coma for two whole days. I held his little hand in mine the whole time and just prayed. Mom was a mess, as expected... she kept breaking down into fits of tears, but I couldn't comfort her... because I knew I had to keep holding Barney's hand or we would lose him. Eventually he woke up and slowly recovered, and we made sure not to mention Ryan as much as possible with Barney around – we didn't want to trigger any memories in him. He ended up starting school a few months later than usual as a result, but otherwise, he recovered as well as anyone could've hoped... but now..." James trailed off, looking at his brother again, no longer the small child but looking every bit as vulnerable and hurt as he had all those years ago.

"Did you know why he particularly victimized Barney?" the detective questioned, pausing from his note taking for a moment. James shrugged.

"Back then, I didn't really know, I thought maybe it was because Barney never really seemed to take to Ryan like I did... but now thinking back, Ryan always said how Barney didn't fit in to the family of Mom, him and me... and he had always only been particularly nice to me, even from the beginning. So now, I think... I think it was because Ryan was black, and since I'm half black, I fitted in as his son... but Barney... just didn't..."

The room was silent, the injustice of hurting a child just because of his appearance clouding everyone's thoughts.

"So what happened to Ryan?" Robin finally asked, breaking them all out of the haunting mood.

James shook his head. "I'm not sure exactly, but the cops came around a couple of times when Barney was in the hospital to ask questions and stuff... and then one day half a year later, Mom just came home and held us both and told us that Ryan was gone and was never going to hurt us ever again. At the time, I just took her words for it, but as an adult, I just assumed he went to jail or something..."

"Ryan Wilson was charged with assault on a minor causing grievous bodily harm back in 1980 and sentenced to twenty years in prison. The investigations also found that he had been quite heavily involved in some drug dealing activities and he received a further two years. Since then he's been in and out of prison for various crimes, assaults, robbery, drugs, pretty much the lot, though he was released a year ago and has seemed to be staying low since then," Detective Smith filled in from the door where he had been patiently waiting for some time. "They kept the victim as an unnamed minor to protect the child in the courts at the time, but if Mr. Stinson was the one who led to his initial prosecution, revenge could have been the motive behind this recent attack. Especially since we now have evidence of Ryan Wilson having contacted Mr. Stinson before he disappeared."

"But... it has been so many years, why now? And why just Barney? Why not me and Mom also?" James questioned.

"Maybe he never really had a chance until now. Last time he was out of prison it was only for two months, and as for why just Barney, usually if a perpetrator has already marked a victim, like he seems to have from your recount, they have a tendency to victimize the same victim and blame them in acts of vengeance," spoke up Detective Campbell, now leafing through the report Detective Smith had handed to him. "Look, most of this is just speculation now, we'll be sending our men to get leads on Ryan Wilson's whereabouts. If he does contact you, Barney or anyone in your family, let us know straight away. Otherwise, I think we have enough information to work with for now and will be keeping in contact with you should we require more. Thanks for your time," he concluded before walking out with Detective Smith.

James stared after the detectives, unable to think of anything to break the awkward silence in the room and still reeling from his childhood memories. Suddenly, he felt a comforting arm on his shoulder, and looked up gratefully to see Lily looking down supportively at him. The others also rose from their seats and went to surround Barney's bed, Robin reaching out to take Barney's hand into her own.

"Barney's very lucky to have you guys," he mused to them, a half smile finding its way to his lips. Lily stared into Barney's sleeping face sadly, thinking of James' story, and how close Barney came to losing his life, as a child too. And she pondered what life would be like without Barney... would she even be married to Marshall had he not convinced her to come back from San Francisco? Would Ted be half as adventurous and brave in his quest for love without Barney pushing him as his wingman? Would they even know Robin had Barney not been the one to tap her on the shoulder and utter a "Haaave you met Ted?" to her? Or even if they had, would Robin still be with them had he not gotten her a job all on his own when she was about to be deported? Suddenly feeling the need to touch him, Lily reached out her hand to run her fingers soothingly through the sleeping figure's hair.

"No, we're very lucky to have him."