Freaky Friday Chapter Four
Disclaimer: I don't own Ultimate Spider-Man, Marvel does. I watched episode ten yesterday and I wanted to expand on the episode. So enjoy. Also I like Saber Tooth/Victor Creed from Wolverine Origins better, so I'm using the Liev Schreiber version. Cause his is so much more bad ass.
Freaky Friday
Chapter Four
Logan/Wolverine P.O.V.
I sat down in the chair to watch some pro wrestling this morning. I was cheering on the Hammer.
"Oh come on you loser! You could've taken that shot. If I was your manger I'd have fired your ass." I yelled at the T.V. taking a gulp of my beer. The Hammer was winning I put my cigar out. Swirls glowed in my eyes and I felt tired, I'll just take a quick nap.
My head was resting on my arms as I tried to block out the annoying sounds all around me. pshht! Something sticky, wet and coarse hit my ear. I lunge to the side of the desk, look around at the laughing kids and snarl at them. I see a poster of Dance Palooza, What the hell is a Dance Palooza? Where the hell am I? I glare a big blonde dumbass who's laughing at me.
"Where am I? What's going on? Who the hell are you people?" I interrogate the children. I back away from all of them.
"Peter? Peter are you, feeling okay?" A girl tries to grab my arm. I roar at her and tear my arm out of her grasp I jump up on the blonde's desk. I jump off the desk two feet from the door. I keep my back to the door as I walk towards it.
"Dude, I told you Parker was gonna snap one day." a small guy says to his big friend.
"Mr. Parker, please take yourself to the nurse's office. You're disturbing my class." A fat balding man yells at me. I growl in his direction as I run out of the classroom. I'm in a high school, doesn't look like I miss out on much. My nose feels weird everything is smells dull. I look at my hands. These aren't my hands, what's going on? I see a girl fixing her make up with a mirror I stalk over to her grumbling, I grab the mirror from her hand.
"Hey! Oh hey Peter, what's going on?" The red hair girl asks. I look into the mirror I snatched out of her grip. I see a brown haired, blue eyed scrawny teenager staring back at me. I throw the mirror at the lockers hearing it smash.
"Dude! That was my mirror you just broke. What is wrong with you Peter?" The girl shrieks at me. Stupid broad I've got more important things to worry about then you're make up mirror. How did this happen? Why am I in some little runt's body? She's still talking.
"Peter? Are you even listening to me?" Red looks pissed. I glare at the girl and the boy she's with, they both back away. Laughing, those little punks are laughing at me. Why I ought to kick their asses. Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!
"Arggghh! What is that noise?" I look around trying to find the source.
"It's your cell phone, Genius." the boy points to my pocket. I reach into the pocket and pull out a phone. I swear these things get smaller and smaller. I put it to my ear.
"Hello, Hello!" I yell at it. its still beeping Red reaches over and presses a button.
"Hello," I yell again.
"Oh no," I hear my voice wine.
"Who is this?" I rumble into the phone.
"We switched bodies, we switched entire bodies. What did you do? What freaky things have you done to me? That I'm in your hairy, Smelly, Wolverine body?" My voice squeaks into my ear.
"We've switched bodies?" I question. "Switched bodies with who?"
"Grahh...you're in my body I'm Peter Parker, I'm Spider-Man!" the guy on the other end of the phone wines "I mean you're Spider-Man. I don't know, how are, we going to fix this?"
"Uh...one moment please." the kid's voice shakes. "I...uh I think it's for you."
My jaw drops open as I listen to what's going on on the other end. SaberTooth what's he doing here?
"Who or What is a SaberTooth?" The brat Peter yells from the cell.
"He's a bad, bad, Mutant. Who has some weird fixation on me! And he thinks he's my brother. Get out of there! Now!" I yell back. "Hello, Hello! Kid, are you there? Hello?"
"He's trying to kill me. Find Coulson, find Coulson" the kid panics. Who's Coulson?
"Kid, you're in my body, you'll heal. I'm coming to you, stay where you are." I start walking down the hallways as there filling up with kids, I shove the brats out of my way.
"Noooo! No, stay put at school. I can't afford to miss class." This kid is not normal. He'll miss class? Are you fucking kidding me?
"Kid." I try to reason with him.
"Stay there! Don't talk to anybody, don't touch anything, and do not get me dentition." I don't believe this, the kid is getting shredded by SaberTooth and he's worried about school? This kid is going to die. I'd better get down there.
"I don't know what's going on. But there's no way I'm staying here, Bub." I jab my finger into a random boy's chest. The boy looks freaked out and runs away. Yeah you better run. I glare after him. I heard a crash on the other end, the line goes dead.
"Hello, Hello." I smack the dumb thing trying to figure out how to work it. a buzzing sensation is coming form the back of my head.
"Agrhhh! What's that tingling?" I shout frustrated. I turn and catch the back pack the big black kid threw at me.
"Yo Peter you left that in class, you feeling better?" I growl and throw the back pack back at him.
"Way to get out of poetry hour dude. I can't belive I didn't think of that before." the runty one crows.
"What is going on with you today Peter?" the hippie blonde one grabs my shoulder.
"I'd back up out of my face if I were you sunshine!" I grab sunshine's shirt and stick a fist in his face. Sunshine looks scared, good. The runt laughs.
"Sunshine, genius why didn't I think of that?" the runt smacks his forehead.
"I don't think this is funny. Peter you're acting really weird let's go to Coulson's office." the cat girl folds her arms in an attempt to look more menacing. Bitch please I'm the fucking Wolverine you don't scare me. "You're acting like a world class jerk today." I fold my arms and scoff at her.
"Yeah man, I think its time for lunch." the Nick Jr. Throws the back pack, back to me. Nick Jr. and his friends walk away.
"Is everything okay?" it's the red hair girl with the mirror I look at her closely. She's cute, I grin and walk over.
"Hey baby! I do like me a red head," I put my hand on the locker looking down at her smirking. Who says I don't got it anymore? The ladies love the Wolverine.
"Ewwww!" Red shoves me aside and runs away. I stare after her. I check my pits and breath, they smell fine. Ah who needs her.
"So this is high school?" not very impressive I bend down to open the back pack seeing the red and blue costume inside. "All this power and the kid wastes it on going to High school like a normal kid," The buzzing feeling is back. "What is that tingling?"
The dumbass blonde kid from the class grabs my shoulder.
"How About that lunch money Parker?" I grab the kid and flip him hard over my shoulder. I knock the breath out of Dumbass. I grip his shirt and growl in his face holding my fist to punch him. Dumbass whimpers as I beat the shit out of him.
"Peter! You coming with us to lunch." The cat girl drags me to a cafeteria.
"Urgh! Let go of me! I'm getting out of here. This place sucks ass." I rip my arm out of her grasp.
"Wait are skipping school Peter? You? Mister prefect are going to ditch?" The runt kid sounds shocked.
"You're damn right I am!"
I walk out of the building phiff! High school's not so hard. They're a bunch of weaklings. I walk down the stone steps.
"That's enough of that I'm done with this shit." I grumble to my self.
"Hey! I told you to stay put," I watch my body stumble over to me.
"Yeah, well life's like that sometimes." I throw the back pack to him.
"Alright, fine! Whatever! Just tell me what's going on? How did this happen to us?" I really hope no one hears how winey I sound. Mesmero must have done this he's the only one who can.
"How do you think this happened? That Mesmero Weasel did something to us." I look up from the grass.
"Oh man, you're right it had to be him. He's the only one, why didn't I think of it sooner." And this is the kid who's supposed to be some kind of genius, what a moron. My eyes widened wait where's SaberTooth?
"Wait, where's SaberTooth?" I ask alarmed.
"Don't worry, I lost him." Lost him? I can feel my eye twitching.
"You lost him! You don't lose him he's a tracker, like me. He's on your trail you dumb kid." I jab his...my chest.
"No. I'm telling ya, I totally lost," SaberTooth lands on his back. "Ooophff." Idiot Kid!
"Well now I see, you really did get you're bodies switched. Haaaaaahaaaaaaaa. Now that's hilarious." SaberTooth laughed at us.
"Well that is what I kept telling you, dude." the kid says from the ground.
"Mehaaaahaaa. Dude?" His hands cover his eyes as he laughs again. "Jimmy got himself stuck in a little kid's body."
"Hey! I am not little, I'm fifteen! Jerk!" the brat shouts at SaberTooth.
SaberTooth keeps laughing. I jump up and kick his face. Yeah let's see you laugh now pussy! I land and clench my fist.
"Now we're talking." I smirk at SaberTooth and attack again.
"Grahhhhhhhhhhhhh." SaberTooth growls.
"Grahhhhhhhhhhhh." I howl back. I punch SaberTooth with the kid's spider strength. I grab SaberTooth and throw him into a school bus.
"No stop!" Stop? does this kid have a death wish? No survival instinct?
"Stop, Why?" I glare at the runt.
"You can't use your-my powers in public, you'll ruin my secret ID. Man!"
"Look kid I've got bigger Fish to fry than you and your teeny bopper soap opera." I point to the school bus and walk towards it. but the kid grabs my arm.
"Weird...put on my costume." the backpack is shoved into my face. I shove it back.
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yesss."
"No. What is that tingling?" I stout angrily, I look up SaberTooth is behind us. I pull us both out of the way of the incoming attack.
"It's my Spider-sense."
"What the hell is a Spider-Sense?" I ask the kid.
"It's like an early warning system for danger." the kid answers. "People can't see me running around using powers. Put on the costume!"
"No!"
"Dude, put it on or I will shave off all your hair including your head hair. Put the damn costume on!" He wouldn't. .
"Leave the kid alone, it's me you want Victor." I punch Victor in the face.
"I'm serious I will Wax off all of your hair." he yells desperately at me. Maybe he will.
"Graahhhhhhhhhhh, alright fine." I run to the fallen back pack.
"Now where do you think you're going, Jimmy." SaberTooth says getting ready to lunge at me. I run and jump up onto a building and start climbing. I get to the roof and start changing into the kid's costume.
"When I find Mesmero I'm going to . . . why am I talking to my self, I'm talking as much as the kid talks. Now I'm talking about talking." We better change back fast otherwise we're going to be stuck. I hear a loud crash. I look down at the street my body and SaberTooth are fightning. I stick the mask on, everything goes black. I snarl and pull on the mask till I can see. I leave it half way up so it's not covering my nose and mouth.
"Agrhhhhh!" I bark as webs come out the kid's wrist onto my face, I pull it off. I aim the web shooter at a hanging pole and jump off the roof. The building opposite me is coming closer. Bam! I hit the window hard.
"Ahhhhhhhhhh," the woman inside screams.
"What? You afraid of spiders lady?" I sneer at her then try aiming the web shooter again. After the fifth attempt I think I got the hang of it. I shoot a web on the underpass where Saber and runt are fighting and jump. Whoosh! I swing back and forth and finally stop. Yeah, this is not working out so well.
"Kid we need to switch the switch," I pull off one of the web shooters and throw it to him. He puts it on a shoots a web into SaberTooth's face.
"Arghhhh." Victor tries to pull it off.
"Oh, I am so sorry. I got webbing all over your freakin' ugly face." I laugh kid's kinda funny when he's not wining all the time.
"Arggaaaahhhhh." SaberTooth swipes blindly at the runt.
"Finish him." I yell at the runt. Now's you're chance kid. "Finish him now!"
"Stop yelling at me!" Runt wines at me. I spoke too soon. I jump down right into Creed's face.
"This mask's smells." I growl at the kid.
"Like, you're one to talk, Dude." the runt tells me. SaberTooth gets back up, I look at the kid and we both smirk at each other. We both shoot our webs at SaberTooth, then we both punch. SaberTooth flies into a wall and he doesn't get back up.
"Stay." Spider-brat tells SaberTooth.
This is a Line break.
"AHaaaaaaaaaaaahaaahhaaaaaa," Mesmero laughs.
"Oh, Ahaaaaaaaaaaaa, oh what a treat!"
"Change us back!" I scream at Mesmero.
"What are you going to do? Arrest me? Ahaaaaaaahhaaaaaa," Mesmero starts giggling then Spider-brat grabs Mesmero growling.
"Oh please, you're no Wolverine." Mesmero looks nervous when the kid brings out the claws. The claws start freaking out on the kid.
"Cut it out." Nick orders.
"It's not like I'm doing it on purpose. How do I stop?" he yells.
"You have to focus, Spider-Man. Focus!" I command him.
"I am!"
"Apparently you're not." I glare at him. The kid takes some deep breaths the claws go still.
"Okay, got it." he turns back to Mesmero. "You've till the count of three! To change us back!"
"Okay, okay, I'll release you." Mesmero's eyes swirl. My eyes swirl... and I back! I look down at my hands and bring out my claws. I need a drink.
"All right then. Is everyone back in their normal bodies?" Nick asks us.
I growl and shove Mesmero against the wall.
"Arghhh, you slimy," My claws are in Mesmero's face.
"Logan!" Nick shouts. Mesmero whimpers as I shove him again. I glares then spit, and walk back over to Fury and the kid.
"One day, one day. You will all feel my wrath, I-" Mesmero cut off with a web to his mouth.
"Well that was strange," the kid holds my hand out to me. "I mean I was just starting to hate you, but you're alright, Dude."
I stare at the kid then I punch him on the shoulder and start walking away.
"So I'll Text you, we should totally hang out, sometime."
"You've got a good thing going here kid." I turn to look at him.
"I do?" I walk over to one of the air craft on the deck of the air ship.
"Friends, a life," I open the cockpit door on the air craft, climb in. "Don't take it for granted. You'll look back on this and you'll realize how good you really have it." I start the plane and salute the kid. Agents start coming outside.
"Hey! you can't take that!" they yell at me.
"You don't have authorizing." phiff! Like that matters.
"Get back here!" the kid gives me a thumbs up, and swings off the Air craft.