blindness
Pairing: Haruka Tenou and Michiru Kaiou
Summary: "I can't even reach you, Haruka.": Michiru is left blinded after a little accident with the Mirror.
AN: angst.
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon lalala
Enjoy!
The Mirror crack'd from side to side―
"I am a burden," Michiru declares softly, her fingers tugging at the bandage around her eyes.
Haruka looks up from her wounds, and repeats the words she has said (too) many times, "You're not, Michi."
Michiru stands up from the seat and tries to cross the living room. Her steps are slow and careful― hesitation lingering as her weight shifts cautiously from one foot to the other. Her hands smoothes the air around her in an attempt to find her way to Haruka. She is barely halfway across the room when she gives up and stays rooted in the same spot.
"I can't even reach you, Haruka," she mutters gently.
Haruka merely smiles (before realizing that Michiru can't see it) and crosses the room to reach her, holding the smaller girl in her arms. "I can."
She feels Michiru's fingers tap dancing up her collar, neck, jaw and lips, before placing a finger on them. "I can't even see you, Haruka. I caused you to be wounded."
"I made you hurt yourself the first time, too," Haruka reminds, but silences herself as Michiru presses on.
"That was only one time. What if the next time-" a shake of the head- "-I have been blinded, Haruka. The Mirror- my Talisman- it cracked. I am a handicap. More a hindrance than a help."
"Michiru, I'll protect you-"
"But who's there to watch your back?"
Silence.
"Ruka, Crystal Tokyo is forming soon. I can feel it, even without the Mirror. There mustn't be any mistake― we can't allow for them. I am rendered ineffective and a burden-"
"Don't speak of yourself like that, Michi," Haruka snaps, holding the shaking girl closer to her. "You can't call yourself-"
"I speak the truth." Michiru smiles wistfully, and pulls away. "I am, technically, another obstacle and an enemy-"
"Do you want me to kill you?" Haruka says hoarsely, anger trimming at her words.
"Perhaps."
Setsuna visits. It is timely (like everything revolving around the lady is) and almost a miracle. She pulls Michiru into a room, and locks the door. It is uncalled for, because Haruka had no intention of listening in― until now.
The words passed are softly murmured, but a few snatches of their conversation can be heard.
"...Neptune... replacement... the Mirror..." Michiru's voice is low and hurried.
"...Possible... Haven't you considered... she will not accept it..." Setsuna's voice does not betray her emotions.
"It has to be done... Crystal Tokyo... You know our duty... Princess... have to leave..."
And then grimly, "She will not thank you for this."
Haruka doesn't understand. There are many- too many- people Setsuna could be referring to. She only hopes that perhaps the weight of this specific 'she' could stop Michiru from thinking― her thoughts are too practical for Haruka's liking; like deadweight, pulling her beneath the currents, dragging her six feet under.
"Setsuna," Michiru mutters. "I'm not even sure if I can cry. Is this how it feels like to be dead?"
Setsuna does not reply, and if she is affronted by Haruka's presence when she opens the door, she does not show it. Instead, she nods, and orders Haruka to pay attention to Michiru― in a voice almost pleadingly.
When Haruka enters the room and makes her presence known to Michiru, the latter only tilts her head to face a wall and fake a smile at the blank space. For the entirety of their conversation in that room, Michiru only responds to the blank wall.
Haruka doesn't correct her.
The second time Haruka is injured― with Michiru standing beside her (bandages still around her eyes), unable to stop the monster from tearing Uranus to pieces― Michiru doesn't say anything. Instead, in the comfort and warmth of their bed, Haruka tightens her hold on Michiru's slender (and far too thin) waist, despite the burning bruises lining up her arms.
Michiru's violin has been left untouched for a week, now.
They meet up at Rei's temple, and overhear a conversation not meant for their ears.
"So Michiru's blind now?"
"I don't understand... I thought we, soldiers, weren't supposed to have any disabilities!"
"Minako-chan!"
"But- it's so horrible!"
"But how did the Mirror crack? Why would it crack? It doesn't make sense!"
"There was a horrible power that cracked it, you know!"
"So now Michiru-san's more vulnerable than before?"
"Wait- how does she fight, then? What if a monster attacks?"
"What if someone holds her hostage!"
"We need to protect Michiru-san!"
"I can feel Crystal Tokyo coming up... We need everyone we can to fight... We need to protect you, Usagi-chan!"
"B-but!"
"Isn't there anything that could cure her?"
"I'm afraid it's permanent," Michiru states firmly, and the silhouettes of the soldiers in the room stiffen.
Haruka pushes the door open, and helps Michiru in. She bows and apologises for being late― with a perfectly polite smile tugging at her lips.
"Usagi-san," Michiru begins to say, glancing at where she thought the Princess would be seated at.
"I'm over here, Michiru-san!"
"Ah."
The silence that conquers the room a few moments after is sharp and loud enough to let everyone know that the wrong things have been said. Michiru does not look embarrassed, as she adorns that same stiff and polite smile― but when Haruka takes her hand and squeezes it lightly, she can feel Michiru's hand trembling. Everyone busies themselves with their cups of tea, and for once, Michiru doesn't drink hers. Not until a giddy and flustered Minako asks her why, does she reply (with an easy voice and a casual wave of her hand),
"Minako-san, I wouldn't like to knock the tea cup over and cause a mess."
Haruka brings her cup to her hands, but even so, Michiru is almost reluctant and apprehensive to take hold of the tiny porcelain cup.
"Bring me to the beach." A pause. "Please, Haruka."
The bandages have been removed, and Michiru keeps her eyes shut― taking care not to open them unnecessarily (not after the last time when a child saw her damaged irises and called her a freak). Haruka places a kiss on her forehead, and carries her to her car.
Michiru hates being handled like a child, and hates being unaware of her surroundings. But she endures it, knowing that Haruka has probably endured playing babysitter and being at the end of her misery. She also endures it because this is the final lap. The last stretch.
They reach the beach, and Michiru finds herself feeling the wind. She tries to imagine the look of the horizon, in all its golden and pink glory (it reminds her of Usagi at times-), fading into the warm blueness of the sea and the light baby blue that paints the sky. She tries to imagine the look of the ripples dancing on the sea, and the gentle, subtle transition from blue to yellow at the edge of the shore. She tries to imagine the look of Haruka's gentle and amused smile when her lover finds her staring hopelessly at the water's calming waves.
She tries― but her mind is a clear blank.
"Haruka," Michiru mumbles. "I love you."
"I love you too."
"Then leave me."
"What?"
"I think I want to be alone." Michiru's reply is hardly an explanation, but Haruka takes it― and leaves (but not before pressing her lips the hollow of Michiru's- throat).
A few steps away from her lover, Haruka turns back― only to see Michiru stepping into the sea. She realises that Michiru is trying to submerge herself into the ocean and never resurface― and it hits her hard. She's got half a mind to stop the girl, and half a mind to drown herself along, but she merely stands, watching the mop of wavy sea-green mane disappear into the ocean. Haruka watches the ocean claim Michiru for its own, finally.
But now she has to be brave― now she has to fight alongside the others to bring Crystal Tokyo (a useless, slandering myth) to life, before she follows Michiru. There will be no more of Neptune, should the next day come. A part of her has died along with her love- but the rest of her will fight. Fight, because that was what Michiru died for. Fight, because it is her destiny.
The last of the sun shimmers brightly, breaking apart the sky and the sea― and Haruka calls it her duty. There will be no more of Haruka, only Uranus.
―The curse has come upon me.
AN: This was stuck in my mind for such a long time and I didn't know how to write it- especially when it got to Haruka watching Michiru sink. Aargh- I think Haruka would have been stronger and let the ocean claim Michiru, before fulfilling her duty and then joining her lover meep D: (and also I have a headcanon that Michiru is pretty narcissistic, so the blindness gets to her more. But she's pledged herself to her duty, and so she decides that the best way to face this is through death.)
Reviews will be greatly appreciated!