Well. I bet you guys really do hate me now because the last chapter was boring and I haven't updated in so long! Sorry about not updating... I really don't have an excuse, except... yeah. I don't have an excuse. I hope this makes up for it! This'll pretty much just be fluff.(: Disclaimer: I still don't own them...my 'someday' hasn't come yet.(;
With a sigh, I just gently started stroking James' hair and looked down at him. With fearful eyes, he looked up at me. "I'm scared, Kay."
You're telling me... I thought silently. I had already been shoved out of my truck... what was going to happen next? "Of what, Jay?"
"I can't remember what happened today. All I know is that I got mad... and I did something to you. I'm really, really sorry. I didn't mean to, I swear." His voice was all shaky, and he began to cry.
I cupped his chin in my hands and brought his lips to mine. When I pulled back, I wiped away a tear. "It's alright, Jay. I know you can't control it."
James took a deep breath. "I know, but I want to control it. I want to get control of myself. I just hate hospitals so much..."
Well, he at least remembered I had taken him to a hospital. I started running my fingers through his hair again. "I know you hate them. I do too. But this is just one of those times where you're sick, and you need the help."
"B-b-but, I'm not sick." He said, confused.
"I know you're not physically sick, but you are emotionally sick, baby. And it's not your fault. It's just something that happens sometimes." My voice was shaking now too, because I was trying so hard not to cry.
"So, I really have to go to the hospital?" James whimpered, snuggling closer into me.
"I think it'd be the best thing for you, babe." I whispered, wrapping my arms tighter around him and kissing him on the head.
"Will you be there?"
"Of course I'll be there. I'll never leave you." I whispered gently. "Now, get some sleep, love. We have a long day ahead of us."
He drifted to sleep, and I sat up thinking. James didn't remember what had happened. He didn't remember shoving me out of the truck, he didn't remember getting mad and yelling at me. All he remembered was that I took him to the hospital.
Maybe that was for the best. Who knows what he would do if he found out he had physically hurt me? Who knows what the guilt would do to him? Or would he even feel guilt? Was that physically possible for him anymore?
Yeah, he had apologized for hurting me, and he cried, but who knew? Maybe it was impossible for him to feel anymore. I just knew I needed to get him to the hospital. But what if tomorrow was another one of his "don't-touch-me" days? What if the same thing happened again?
*The Next Morning*
I woke up to James still clinging to me, still asleep. I started rubbing his back, and after a little while he slowly opened his eyes. Looking up sleepily at me, he said, "Morning."
I hesitantly said, "Morning, baby." back. I would be able to tell in a few minutes if it was one of his touchy-feely days, and I prayed that it was.
We stayed like that for a while, and after about 20 minutes, he just snuggled closer into me. (If it was even possible.) I breathed a sigh of relief. Hopefully it wouldn't be too bad getting him to the hospital.
"So, today's the day, huh?" James voice was small, and muffled as he buried his face in my chest.
"If you're ready. But I think the sooner we get this done, the better." I said quietly.
"It should be today. But Kendall... I'm so scared."
"Shh, it's alright, James. I won't let anything happen to you, and I'll be with you through the whole thing, alright?" I said soothingly.
"Alright."
After we got ready, we said bye to Logan and Carlos and made our journey back to the hospital once again. Only this time when we got there, he looked at me with tears and fear in his eyes.
I got out of the car and opened the door for him. He got out, and immediately I wrapped him in a tight hug. He was shaking like a leaf. "It's alright, James. Everything's going to be fine."
He nodded, and we walked into the hospital, holding hands. After asking him some questions, and giving him a CT scan, they diagnosed it as bipolar disorder. "It's a very severe form of this disorder, with amnesia. He doesn't realize what he's doing, and after it happens, he doesn't remember it even happened. We'd like to admit him to the hospital for a couple weeks to give him medications and see what works and what doesn't work."
I nodded. James eyes filled with tears. After we got into a hospital room, and all the doctors left him alone, he turned to me, tears finally spilling over. I went over to him, sat on the edge of his bed, and wrapped him in my arms. "Sshh, it'll be alright. I promise."
I stayed for a few hours before a nurse came in. "I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over."
"No. I'm not leaving. You're crazy if you think I'm leaving." I said firmly.
"I'm sorry, sir, but you have to leave. Visiting hours are over."
Just as I was about to retort, James opened his mouth. "It's alright Kendall. Just, be here first thing in the morning? Please?"
I spun around to face him. "Are you sure?"
He nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure. You need to get some sleep, and so do I."
"Alright. I'll be here first thing tomorrow morning, probably with Logan and Carlos."
"No. Just you. Please." He said quietly.
"Of course. I love you, baby." I leaned down to gently kiss him on the lips.
He kissed back, then said, "I love you too."
Hah, fluff! I hope that was enough to make up for the last chapter. And the next chapter will be filled with more... DRAMA. :D Please let me know what you think!