THE GHOST OF WARBOROUGH HALL

"The truth is rarely pure and never simple."

– Oscar Wilde, 1854 – 1900

CHAPTER TWELVE:

I fired off a message to Fishlegs that very same night, demanding to know when he was going to arrive, blasting him for not telling me that Miss Hofferson had invited him to the manor.

I hoped that my phone had enough signal bars to successfully send my message...

And then I waited for Astrid's summons again. The doctor – Humphreys, his name was – arrived the following morning, and I walked to where her room was located and waited outside the door in case she was feeling better enough to continue. Unfortunately, when the doctor finally came back outside after what seemed like hours, he closed the door behind him, nodded in my direction, and motioned for me to follow him.

"How is Miss Hofferson?" I asked tentatively as I walked with him to the front doors.

"In far worse health than I'd like," was his response. He shrugged on his coat and wound a scarf around his neck before continuing. "She is, however, better than the last time I saw her. She says that storytelling soothes the illness to something more manageable. It is like a remedy, for her, to finally let the truth out after all this time…" He smiled at me. "She is grateful that she has such a receptive audience, but asks for your utmost patience."

"Er... I'm not really a very patient woman."

"Then it is I who must beg for your patience," he said. "Storytelling may have properties that no amount of medicine can match, but I am still worried that your sessions may overly tax her."

I looked at him shrewdly. "I can hardly command myself to wait patiently for our next meeting: What on earth makes you think I can command Miss Hofferson to stop in the middle of a session?"

He stared at me for a second before he barked out a laughter. "Touche, Miss Thorston. Touche. I can see why she enjoys your company so much. You are very like her. However, my request still stands: sessions in moderation. Please remember: though Miss Hofferson often exudes an undeniable strength, she is still extremely ill." He opened the door and touched the brim of his hat. "Good day, Miss Thorston."

I begrudgingly decided to heed the doctor's plea. Doctors know best after all, right? And so when Astrid's summons did not come that day, instead of hanging around outside her bedroom door to nag her to continue her story from behind the wooden panel, I decided to spend my time a little more wisely by looking through my previous notes, trying to catch what else I had missed...

I must admit that I was incredibly miffed over the fact that she said she was never in love with Hiccup – er, Harailt. Mr Haddock. Little mud boy turned dragon boy. It was disappointing, because everything he did pointed to the fact that he was falling in love with her. How did he fall out of love? Or more importantly: did he ever really fall out of love? Who did he fall "madly in love" with in the end, if it wasn't Astrid? Was he just another character in passing, like the governesses, or the guests in the ball?

And then I remembered the Dark Countess, and I knew that Hiccup must still have played a central role in Astrid's life. Because why else would Miss Hofferson keep his wife's identity a secret from me if Mr Haddock was not important?

There must be a reason why Hiccup was a recurring character.

And there must be a reason why the Dark Countess' identity was a secret, revealed only to a few…

Astrid finally called for me the following afternoon, and I excitedly walked to her bedroom just as the dim light of an autumn afternoon started to filter through the windows. Her door was ajar, and I entered her room to find her sitting primly on her bed. I silently waited for Lisa to finish putting a pillow behind Miss Hofferon's back before I drew a chair close to her.

Lisa gave me a small smile as she left the room – a little apologetic, perhaps from the way she behaved the last time we met. I turned back to Miss Hofferson and found her looking much better, just as Doctor Humphreys said. I told her just as much, and it made her laugh.

"Storytelling does that to me," she murmured. "Though I never knew that delving into the past would be more beneficial to my wellbeing than I originally thought. I thought that it would be my undoing."

"You said in your first letter to me that you no longer wanted to weave half-truth stories of your life," I replied. "Perhaps you're just feeling the effects of that well-worn cliché. You know: 'The truth will set you free'."

She grinned at my terribly corny comment. "Ah, I'm surprised that you remembered what I wrote! I wonder what else you'll remember from that wealth of information that I have told you so far..." She settled more comfortably against the pillows. She wore that familiar, peaceful look on her face that told me that she was gathering the past around her, and that our magic would start once again. And so it surprised me when she did not immediately launch into her story.

Instead, she talked about death.

"An angel from the afterlife visited me a few nights ago," she said quietly, sadly. She suddenly paused, and she put a hand upon her heart as her eyes suddenly shone with unshed tears, taking me by surprise. I had never seen Miss Hofferson cry before. I'd seen her angry, and happy... even distressed. But on the verge of tears? This steely eyed empress did not cry... it just seemed so... unnatural...

I pressed my lips together. I felt bad for thinking that...

It took her a few breaths before she found the strength to continue. "The angel spoke in a voice that both soothed and frightened me, and it had the face of my long, lost beloved, both terrible and beautiful to behold. It told me that my time has come, and offered a familiar hand for me to take. I very nearly accepted the angel's offer, very nearly ran to those open, inviting arms. So great was this ache and longing to be whole again that I nearly... But a memory of a promise stirred in me... And though I dearly wanted to finally be rejoined to my beloved, I... had to refuse. Do you know why I refused, Miss Thorston?"

A chill had settled on the back of my neck as I shook my head. Her calm, blue gaze settled on mine as she continued. "I refused, because I did not want to leave this life without finishing the most important story of my life. I did not want to leave without finishing my beloved's story. And so I made a deal with that angel. I asked for more time, to stay here longer – at least, long enough for me to finish telling my story. Once finished, I told the angel that it was free to take my breath, for I will finally be unburdened of a lifetime of lies. No more hiding, no more half-truths. I will finally be free once I have finished this story." She smiled. "I will not leave you hanging, Miss Thorston, that is a promise. Besides, I do not want you punching holes in my house when I'm gone."

I exhaled a breath, remembering the offhand joke that I made last night. My chest felt unfamiliarly tight...

I steeled myself. Now was not the time to think of Astrid dying...

"I'll keep you to your word, then," I quietly said instead.

She smiled, and then narrowed her eyes at me. "I must admit that I'm surprised you have not yet asked who my beloved was."

I shrugged. "I trust that you will tell me, in due time. I mean, once in a while I may want to cheat and take a peek at the last chapter, but with this one… I can tell that this is important to you. And so I won't I ask. I will wait until you are ready to tell me."

"Mmm... very wise," she murmured. "Hiccup would have benefitted greatly from a bit of sense when he decided to out himself at the ball. You know, he began to beat himself up right after he ran away. Why? Why?! He thought to himself. Why did he decide to attend the ball? What possessed him to finally reveal his true identity to Miss Hofferson, and at such bad timing too as in the midst of a dance?

"Fool! He thought to himself as he briskly walked away.

"Nevertheless, the damage was already done. As it was, he knew he could no longer hide in the smithy, or fly away and wait until the storm blows over. The families now knew that a Haddock was in residence, and so Hiccup Haddock must also now play his part, or risk embarrassing his father. And the last thing Hiccup wanted was to be a source of embarrassment to his father, especially when Lord Haddock was not even there.

"But still he rushed away from the celebrations. He walked past servants who stopped and gaped at the blacksmith's apprentice in his finery, some hissing at him to get out of sight. He turned a corner towards the blissfully empty portrait gallery when suddenly, he heard Astrid calling him far behind. He looked behind his shoulders, and walked faster.

"Oh boy... she sounded angry...

"Hiccup, get back in here! Her voice called faintly. His heart beat faster as he nearly ran down the corridor, a dozen pairs of painted, dead Hofferson eyes following his every move. The stairs to the main foyer was but a few steps away. All he had to do was run down it, barge out of the doors, whistle for Toothless, and fly away to safety.

"But he did not even make it to the stair's balustrade, for a hand suddenly grabbed him from behind and yanked him back with incredible force. He lost his footing in the carpet and fell back so heavily that he took Astrid with him to the ground. His sharp, bony elbow accidentally dug into her chest upon impact, and she gasped in pain.

"He immediately panicked. Oh my g… sorry! I'm so, so sorry! I didn't mean to… I'm so sorry!

"Get… get off me… Astrid wheezed. He scuttled away from her, though he did not get far as his back thudded against the wall.

"S... sorry!

"She glared at him as she massaged her sternum, her hair now a mess around her face. Did you really think you can run away from me? She growled.

"He breathed out a nervous chuckle. Yeah, actually, I did. He winced when she threw him daggers from her eyes. How did you catch me so quickly anyway?

"She scoffed. You don't know this house like I do. You've never been a shadow in this house like I've been. You've never been a ghost. I know this house inside out, I know this house's secrets. So don't you dare run away from me again.

"Hiccup glowered at her. Oh no no no no. You see, if I know that you're going to be punching me, or shoving my face in the mud again, I'm definitely going to run away from you. Again.

"Even if it's well deserved?

"Even if it's well deserved.

"Then you're a coward!

"That may be true, but you know I can never win a fist fight against you. Might as well run.

She blinked in disbelief. "You... you... you're despicable! She spat. You coward! You will not even stay to fix the mess that you've created? Your solution to your mistakes - to your lies - is to run away?

"Hiccup opened his mouth, but shut it again. He knew there was no use arguing with her - he knew that he was in the wrong, and so also knew that he could not win this. It was only the Haddock stubborness that kept him from admitting this out loud, and so he silently fumed as he prepared to get up.

"Astrid, however, was not done with him. She lunged at him and pinned him to the ground. They wrestled as he tried to get her off of him, but she was so much stronger than him, and he finally gave up when she strongly pinned his hands to the ground.

"You will not go anywhere until you have told me why you did it, she snarled in his face.

"He glared at her for a second. Alright! He shouted. Fine! I'm a coward. I am weak. Happy? What else do you want to hear?

"She hit his chest hard with her open hands in frustration, nearly knocking the wind out of him. Tell me the truth!

"You already know the truth!

"Not that truth -! Astrid momentarily choked in her anger. She took a deep breath. Why did you keep it a secret? Why did you lie? Why did you lie to me?

"But I never lied! Hiccup cried out defensively.

"Astrid laughed. Oh yes, that's right, you never lied. You just did not tell me the whole truth!

"... yeah. Which is different… to a lie…

"I don't believe this! You stubborn, rat eating -

"Astrid...

" - son of a half-troll! I trusted you with everything.

"But you have to understand - "

"I trusted you with my life… I trusted you! Yet you repay our friendship with this… this…

"I couldn't tell you! He finally cried out. It was never because I didn't want to. God, I wanted to tell you. I even lov- But I c- I couldn't because... I just couldn't tell you, alright?

"Why? She nearly pleaded.

"Hiccup sighed.

"Hiccup, why?

"He glanced back up at her and saw the hurt behind those eyes.

"His face softened.

"Astrid, he murmured, his hand itching to reach up and cradle her face...

"The hurt, betrayed look in her eyes was unbearable. And so he gave up to her. He could not turn back now, could not choke back the words that soon fell from his lips... he could not stop himself even if he wanted to.

"No more lies.

"But... not the whole story either. Not yet, if ever.

"It was part of the reason why I came here as a blacksmith's apprentice, he began. You see, Astrid, when my mother passed away a few years ago, I became… lost. I needed to find myself again, outside of being the Haddock heir. If it weren't for Toothless I probably would have drowned... He paused and looked away from her, speaking quickly: And my father of course told your father, and your father felt sorry for me, and they plotted, etcetera etcetera, the letter from your father came, along with letters from the other dragon trainers in the area… news of dragons disappearing… and so I came here... you know, as Gobber's apprentice, rather than as Lord Haddock's son.

"I still don't understand why -?

"Hiccup snorted. Come on, Astrid, think about it! We - that is, my father and I - we did not want to be a burden to you and your father. I mean... you've seen how your guests reacted to me at the ball. If they had known earlier that I was in residence, they would have made all manner of excuses to... you know... visit. Besides, if word got out that I had been spending a lot of time in the company of Miss Astrid Hofferson, they'd start talking about... well... you know..

"Astrid pressed her lips together as a blush rose to her cheeks. What he was saying was true, but...

"But why didn't you tell me?

"He sighed. It was supposed to be a new start, he muttered. Or at least, the illusion of one. Nobody but your father knew who I was. I must have changed a lot, for even the butler and the housekeeper and the gardeners and all the older servants did not recognise me. But even so, I thought that you at least would know... and I was tremendously surprised to find out that you didn't recognise me either. And when I realised that, I thought that it would be more convenient to play the same charade that I played with the servants. Why? Because I didn't care about you, nor wanted to care about you... I just wanted to be Hiccup the blacksmith's apprentice, and to just do my job, both as a blacksmith and a dragon trainer. But then... we became friends, even though we fought a lot… and when you bonded with your Nadder, I told myself that I would tell you. Because that's what friends do, right? But then I became scared… scared that it would ruin our friendship, scared that it would ruin us. But I knew that it would be the right thing to do to tell you. And so I told myself: tomorrow. I will tell her tomorrow. But all of my tomorrows turned to weeks... and so I told myself: I will tell her after I teach her this, I will tell her after we have done that…

"But you should have just told me sooner-

"Don't you see, Astrid? He cried out. I couldn't do it! There were so many times when I had let the opportunity pass, because I simply couldn't do it!

"She mulled over his words. He said he couldn't do it, not wouldn't. He was implying that the decision was out of his hands... why?

"He reached for her hand without thinking as he continued. After that, it was already too late... I didn't want to shatter our friendship by admitting that I had been keeping my real identity secret from you.

"And there it was. The real reason at last, and Astrid... well, she symphathised with him. Understood exactly what he meant, because she too had been keeping a secret from him... a secret that would definitely ruin their friendship if she told him...

"Hiccup squeezed her hand. I did not want to shatter this memory of the best summer I have ever experienced in such a long, long time. I didn't expect to be friends with you! I didn't even expect to – His breath suddenly caught in his throat as he flushed.

"Didn't expect what? Astrid demanded, and he brought his hands up to his face and groaned.

"I... I... He stammered.

"Astrid grabbed his hands and pulled it roughly away from his face. You can't stop now, Hiccup.

"He looked at her, fighting the urge to run, for he knew that there was no way out of this one...

"He bit his lip.

"No more lies.

"I like you, okay? Hiccup finally murmured. I really, really like you. I think I might... even... be falling...

"And there it was. That unsaid word. That most powerful of words. She blinked, trying to process his meaning, then quickly blushed when she realised that she had been straddling him all this time, and holding his hands, her face inches away from his...

"She jumped away from him as if she had been scalded. No, she thought. This can't be happening... she'd notice if he was falling for her. Right?

"I never knew, she murmured.

"He shrugged. I kept it well hidden. He looked up at her shyly. So... do you... do you also feel any sort of, you know, affection... for me... too?

"She blinked. Did she like him too? She tried to think back on whether her feelings for him over the past months were anything but innocent friendship and brotherly love. But try as she might, she found that she... did not really return his sentiments.

"Should she be returning his sentiments?

"Hiccup sat up, his face red. I didn't expect to care for you, or like you… He repeated. I'm so sorry.

"What are you saying sorry for? She demanded, her heart thudding madly, and he bit his lip again out of nervousness.

"No, no, you misunderstand me. I'm not sorry for liking you. How could I? I've never been this happy in such a long time, every day that I'm with you, every moment that we're together, even when we're bickering, I feel like I am... I mean, I don't know! All I know is that I really like you. What I'm apologising for is... this. This mess. I messed it up... our friendship. And I'm sorry that even though I like you, Astrid, I... cannot fall in love with you.

"Why not?

"He buried his face in his hands. If I told you, you are going to hate me even more.

"You can't be worse off than you already are.

"But...

"Hiccup.

"I...

"Just spit it out!

"I was already promised to another before I arrived here, alright! He cried. Before I was even born, in fact. You're not the only one who's had their destiny mapped out for them by their father. At least you're free to choose who to give your hand to in marriage, whereas I have to defer to my father's wishes, whether I want to or not!

"Much to Hiccup's irritation, she began to laugh. Hiccup, if there's one thing I know about you, it's that you're too headstrong for your own good. You'll probably find a loophole, or even downright rebel against your father. Besides: the 'age of arranged marriages are long gone'. You said so yourself.

"Yes… perhaps… in normal society... but not between, you know, dragon families.

"Oh really? She snorted, still smiling, thinking that he was jesting. He looked at her steadily.

"Yes… the dragon trainers have to keep the knowledge alive, and to keep it alive we… need to keep alliances intact. And one way to keep an alliance strong and intact is through marriage... He trailed off.

"Her smile slowly disappeared. You... you're not joking?

"He shook his head miserably, and Astrid...

"Oh... she felt her chest suddenly tighten. Her face furrowed. What was this? Was she actually sad?

"Oh yes, sadness was an odd thing. Because she was not sad that she was not his promised bride. Hiccup was just a friend after all - she knew that she did not like him that way. Oh no, no, no. She was sad because she knew that, once they are all grown up, she could never forge a deep relationship with him without him earning the ire of his future wife, along with the rest of society. She did not really care what they'll say about her, but Hiccup...

"She may be angry with him right now, but the truth was: She also cared deeply for him. Hiccup was more than a friend to her. He was her best friend.

"A terrible one, yes... but it wasn't like she had been a dream either. She had not really been completely truthful with him...

"She furiously pushed that thought far, far away from her. She wanted to be righteously indignant tonight - Hiccup will get his turn to be angry with her soon enough.

"Oh yes. If he found out that she, too, had been keeping secrets... one that dwarfed even his secret... he wouldn't just be angry with her.

"She blinked. No.

"She would never tell him. Her father himself believed that her very life depended upon this secret - the Hofferson secret. Not only this, but if Hiccup learned the truth - if he found out - he woud not only think that the Hoffersons had all gone mad, he would also never be able to forgive her.

"She suddenly stood up, unable to look him in the eye.

"Astrid?

"She wondered how neither servant nor guest had found them bickering yet...

"... please say something Astrid.

"I... need to think.

"You hate me, he looked up at her sadly.

"I… she stopped. No. She did not hate him. Not at all.

"But there was so much to think about: His deceitfulness. Her deceitfulness.

"His confession...

"Her deceitfulness.

"Astrid? He asked hopefully, also standing up. He took her hand, but she slid it out of his grasp.

"I - I'm going back to the ball to bid my guests good evening, and then I am going to retire. She stepped around him, still not looking at him. Goodnight, Mr Haddock.

"Please say that we're still at least friends? He called to her desperately. She paused in her steps, her head moving as if to turn back to face him, but she silently began to walk away from him again.

"He exhaled heavily and leaned against the window, wondering if he should fly away after all, and prove Astrid right that he only fixed his messes by running away...

"Or, he thought as he looked in the direction where she left, he could prove her wrong. And by proving her wrong, by staying, they could perhaps patch up their friendship. They could be comfortable with each other again, ride their dragons together again, and delay the day when they must be separated, when he must forget that they ever shared this summer together, or that he ever liked her...

"Because this is simply young love, he told himself. She was, after all, not only his first close human friend. She was also the first girl that he ever liked. He told himself that: Should Astrid refuse to agree to mend their friendship, he would accept her decision. He would force himself to get over her. He would forget her. He would stop liking her. For his father, his family, his duty.

"His future wife.

"But – he reasoned with himself – he did not have to start forgetting her right now, or even stop liking her.

"Youth is fleeting, and young love even more so. It must be cherished before the bloom of innocence starts to fade, and Hiccup understood this. Even in his youth and inexperience he understood this. And so he decided that he would keep loving her until she wanted nothing more to do with him. He would bury his feelings if it meant saving their relationship, torn to pieces due to his bad judgement. He would not forget her until the time comes when he must.

"But... he stopped in his musings. Will that time ever come? Will it ever be easy to deny his feelings for her?

"Does anybody ever really get over their first love?

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

I am so, so sorry for not updating this in a long time. I have no other excuse except I have mostly just been drawing and writing drabbles on tumblr and deviantart. I'm so sorry guys!

The next chapter is written and just needs polishing. Lots of polishing, because I'm gearing up for a major plot point and I want it to be perfect. I'm hoping to have it uploaded within the week. Unless the HTTYD2 Trailer comes out, in which case I'll probably get distracted again _

Anyhow, please let me know what you thought of this chapter!

Cat Eyed Blunder: Your question will be answered in future chapters, don't worry :)

Josy daky: Absolutely! Miss Hofferson knew all this time that Miss Thorston was cheating by writing to Fishlegs, but she allowed it, for she knew that he would not be able to glean much without her help, because without her tale, his information will not make much sense. She knows the whole story, the others – mere throwaway characters, really – know only but fragments of it.

And thank you so much for holding out on this story… I won't abandon this story until I've finished it. I promise.

LizzyLory: Thank you! I hope you liked this chapter too :)

RoseJustice: Hehehe! I couldn't stop laughing at that comment about Tuffnut in the Navy!

Marleysauce: Eeeeee thank you so much! ^_^

Tyra: Ooooooh I… can't really say much right now, but your comment really really made me happy, because it means that I did something right as a writer. I won't say why though, but gosh can I just hug you and say thank you again for writing that comment?