I SUCK. I know. Feel free to throw eggs at my house or whatever you'd like to do to me. Considering this hasn't been updated in very close to 2 years. But I'm back! And I'll hopefully be posting more. If you guys read/review this story again, I would love you to the moon and back. Once again, sorry for the disappearing act I pulled!
Disclaimer: BTR isn't mine, unfortunately.
The tiredness was finally starting to take its toll on me. After not sleeping for weeks straight, nothing was making sense anymore.
Every day for me was spent holding James, showering when he would let me, and then going back to holding James. Logan or Carlos would make the food for each of us. They still didn't know what had happened to him to make him leave the hospital.
Whenever anybody would talk to me, I would have to ask them to repeat it a few times. Even when they did repeat it, it would take me a while to actually realize what they had said, then a few more minutes to come up with my reply.
But it was all worth it, because James was getting better. He wasn't in my arms as much anymore. He was starting to feel safer with Logan and Carlos, as long as I was still around. His nightmares weren't as bad.
Finally, one day, James realized how out of it I was. "Kendall... When was the last time you got a good night's sleep?" He asked quietly, his thumb stroking my cheek lightly.
"What?" I asked, my immediate response to anything anybody said to me. After a second, I realized what he'd said. "Oh, um, I don't know. I'm alright."
James shook his head, sighing quietly. "You've been staying up all night for me, haven't you? Baby, you really need to get some sleep."
I gave him a small smile, shaking my head. "No, no. I'm fine."
With a glare, then sticking his lip out in a pout, James shook his head as well. "Please go to sleep. For me."
For me. Those were the words that I always dreaded whenever anybody said them to me. How was I supposed to refuse if they wanted me to do it for them? I sighed quietly as I watched James, trying to figure out what I should do.
James leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to mine. "I promise I'll be okay. Logan and Carlos will be here, and they won't let anything happen to me."
A proud smile crossed my face at how mature James was being about the whole situation. He had grown so much in just a short amount of time. "Okay..." I finally gave in, nodding.
James nodded, getting a little grin on his face. He allowed me to switch positions so I was laying down, and he was cuddling me. I let my eyes close, and I was asleep in less than a minute.
*James' POV*
I sighed heavily when Kendall was asleep. I felt terrible. He was barely able to function, and it was all because of me. It was all my fault.
I looked over to Logan, and he seemed to know exactly what I was thinking. "He's just worried about you." Logan said softly, gesturing down to Kendall's sleeping form. "But it's not your fault. He's doing it because he wants to."
Carlos nodded his agreement, and I sighed again as I pulled him closer to me. Kendall thought I was getting stronger. I wasn't. I was just better at acting like I was getting stronger.
Somehow, I'd managed to make my nightmares not so loud, so that Kendall didn't realize they were happening. I'd managed to somehow relax my body to make it look like I actually trusted them. But I didn't.
I didn't know if I'd ever trust anybody again.
Wow, okay, so I don't blame you if you really hate me now because that chapter was super boring. /: If I can't get this story back up and running again, that's alright. I'll just start a new one. But since this was so popular, I decided I'd give it a try! So, please. Read and give a review. I'll love you until the day I die.