Forever Yours
It was too late. I was too late. I should have saved her. She shouldn't have died. I should have died. She was too young. Had too many people counting on her to come home. Little Prim, so innocent, now without her sister. Her Mother, already lost so much already. Whereas I have no-one who would miss me. Sure I have family, but none who really care.
I should of stopped her putting the berries into her mouth. I should of refused to go along with her plan. We were supposed to die together. Prove we weren't just a piece in their games. We were together, never to be separated. Instead, I went along with her plan. Seneca Crane tried to stop us, but by then it was too late. The poisonous berries were already in her mouth. Within seconds she was dead on the floor, a slight purple dribble from the berry juice, hanging out the corner of her lip.
All I remember is screaming. Screaming as they came and taken her away. Screaming as they pulled me up into the hovercraft. Screaming as they plunged a needle into my neck and forced me into darkness. I saw in my dreams though. She was there, looking at me with accusing eyes. I see her death over and over again. "You should have saved me. What did I do to deserve this? I thought you loved me." I hear her voice repeatedly saying this over and over again. Accusingly. Circulating round my head over and over again until I feel like my head is about to explode.
That's how I find myself rocking in the corner of my room in the Training Centre, the night before my Victor interview. Muttering the words "Not real. Not real. Not real." Over and over again. My head is pounding, so I get up and walk over to the cupboard and reach to get a painkiller, like I do most of the time now. However this time is different. I find myself reaching up, taking the bottle in my sweaty hand, and shakily pouring over half the contents of the bottle into my palm.
I stop for a moment to think. Do I really want to do this? But then I realise, I do. I want to be with her. I need to be with her. I'm breaking. The only way to fix myself is to die. I need to die to be with her. Nobody else is worth living for. She was the only thing that kept me going, ever since the first day I clapped eyes on her. On our first day of school when we were five, when she got up and sang the Meadow Song. She had a beautiful voice. The Mocking Jays would always repeat her voice, it was that beautiful. It was perfect. Just like her.
I love her. I love her with all my heart, and have done for eleven years. And I know that she loves me too, she just hasn't realised it yet. Which is why I need to do this. I need to be with her. This is the only way I can be with her forever.
Slowly, but more confidently now, and without shaking, I write a small note for Haymitch. I simply right "H-Sorry-P" on a piece of paper and leave it where I know only he will find it, in the alcohol fridge in my room. Then, I slowly counted five pills out and placed them gently into my hand. I take my last, long breath, and then pour the pills into my mouth and swallow. As soon as I feel my eyelids shut, I know I am ready. Embracing death.
"Peeta! Peeta!" she runs towards me with open arms. I pick her up and spin her round. Our lips crash together and we kiss hungrily for what seems like ages.
"I thought I wouldn't see you for years to come. Why did you come so early?"
"I couldn't live another day without you. I love you, but if you don't love me, I understand. I-"
"Peeta. I love you more than you could ever imagine." she cuts me off.
I feel my face light up.
"Real or not real?" I ask.
She takes my hand and leads me through the clouds.
"Real."