It's What's Inside That Counts
Chapter 23
Severus chaperoned the students to Hogsmeade every weekend he could. His efforts paid off and he thanked whatever lucky stars there were that Hermione usually visited Ginny every Saturday. The last Saturday in December before the Christmas Holidays were upon them, and Hermione was assuring Ginny that she would be at the Burrow Christmas Day.
"I wouldn't miss it," Hermione said. "Only your mum can do my mum's stuffing recipe justice."
Ginny assessed her friend carefully. Hermione noted this and said, "Okay Ginny, spit it out."
"Just an observation," Ginny said.
"About me I assume?" Hermione asked lightly.
"Auror Tillman" listened carefully in the booth behind them.
"We were worried about you for awhile," Ginny said.
"How so?"
"Well, you seemed so...guarded," Ginny said.
Hermione raised an eyebrow.
"You still seem a little intense, but not in a mean way...more serious," Ginny said.
"Well Gin, I'm in a serious line of work now," Hermione said. "I'm gonna be right there with Harry when Voldemort comes his way. That's why I'm working so hard, being so serious as you say."
"I understand," Ginny said.
"I'm sorry to make you uncomfortable, I'm just not wearing my heart on my sleeve anymore, look where it got me," Hermione said.
Ginny gave Hermione a quick hug. "I'm not uncomfortable around you, you're one of my best friends and I love you. Nothing you could do would make me feel any different, it's just sometimes I want the old Hermione back."
So do I! Severus thought.
"That Hermione model is no longer in stock, Ginny," Hermione said with a smile. "A new improved version sits before you; a smarter, stronger one."
"Hey, you wanna get out of here? I'm sure McGonagall would love to see you," Ginny said.
"Sounds great," Hermione said.
Severus watched the two get their coats from the hooks by the door and leave. A minute later, Ginny ran back in to get Auror Tillman.
"Sir, Hermione sent me to fetch you, she thinks something's not right," Ginny said.
He rushed outside, taking Hermione's suspicions seriously.
"Miss Weasley, gather as many students as you can and assemble in The Three Broomsticks," he instructed.
Ginny nodded and ran off. He sent a flare from his wand to let Hogwarts know that something was happening. Better to be safe than sorry, he thought.
He found Hermione was standing in the middle of the street a block away in front of the post office, facing away from the town, tapping her wand against her thigh. He saw her Auror training kicking in. She was presenting herself as a confident target, unconcerned that something was out there. A perfect, but dangerous distraction for a would-be attacker.
What a perfect target she presents! he thought. Is she bluffing or is she truly not concerned?
"Miss-" he said but stopped when Hermione held up a hand and tapped her ear and crouched, scanning the doors and windows with narrowed eyes. She was right- something was not right, he could feel it. Cracks of apparition were heard and Minerva and Professors Flitwick and Vector appeared.
"Auror Tillman, is something amiss?" Minerva asked quietly.
Hermione nodded and spoke loudly. "Aurors have been summoned. If you want to leave this village alive, I suggest you take your business elsewhere."
More cracks of apparition were heard and Aurors quickly took flanking positions along the street. Hermione relaxed and walked to the senior Auror on the scene.
"Report," he said.
"Yes sir. There were three, there," she said and pointed her wand toward the Hog's Head. "Description unknown, casting unknown charms. One spoke Latin."
He said nothing and nodded to three Aurors who jogged toward the tavern.
"Granger, report to the Auror watch desk and file your report. You did well, you didn't get yourself killed," he said.
That evening, Hermione returned to Hogwarts to visit Minerva. In the Headmistress' office, she was greeted with a warm hug.
"Hermione dear, you must visit more often," Minerva said.
"I'll try," Hermione said.
"Tea?" Minerva asked.
"Yes, thank you," Hermione said and took a seat.
"Good to see you, Miss Granger," Albus said from his portrait.
"And you as well sir," Hermione said.
They chatted about Auror training, some new Transfiguration spells she had learned, the holidays and eventually the conversation turned to Severus.
"You don't mind talking about it, do you?" Minerva asked quietly.
Hermione chuckled. "Ginny asked me the same thing, so I'll tell you what I told her. No, I don't mind talking about it... it's therapeutic in a way. I didn't do anything wrong, so I have nothing to be embarrassed about."
"Bravo Miss Granger," Albus announced from the portrait.
Hermione laughed. "I don't know about all that, but I do know that I can't wallow forever. You live, you learn, you move on."
"When I get my hands on that man I'm going to-" Minerva started but was interrupted by knocking on the door.
"Enter," Minerva called out.
Auror Tillman peeked his head in the door. "Am I interrupting? I can come back."
Ugh, it's that staring Auror whats-his-name, Hermione thought.
"No Matthew, do come in. You've met Hermione Granger, an Auror in training?" Minerva asked.
"Yes, we've met," Matthew said. "How do you do, Miss Granger?"
"I do fine, thank you. I'll take my leave now," Hermione said, standing and putting her coat on. "Oh Minerva, you're coming to the party, aren't you?"
"Of course, I wouldn't miss it, I finally get to see Granger Farm," Minerva said. "Hermione, would it too forward of me to inquire if our Auror Tillman could attend? He's going to be stuck here in the castle, alone for the holidays otherwise."
Hermione took a deep breath and spoke. "Of course, no one should be alone at the holidays."
"You'll be at the Order meeting tomorrow night I assume?" Minerva asked.
"With bells on," Hermione said. "Have a good night."
"You as well, my dear. Remember, you are welcome back here anytime," Minerva said.
"May I escort you to the gate?" Matthew asked.
"Only if you're not going out of your way," Hermione said and left the office.
On the path to the gate, Matthew spoke. "I wish to commend you for your actions today in Hogsmeade."
"Just doing what I've been taught, Auror Tillman," she replied.
"Call me Matthew. You bluff very well, or were unconcerned about an attack," Matthew said.
"I meant to draw them out, Auror Tillman," she said with a sigh. "As for an attack, I would have fought and lived...or fought and died."
"You make it sound simple," Matthew said.
"My mother, rest her soul, told me something years ago: you are exactly where you are meant to be. I was meant to be in the village, visiting my friend, at that point in time. I was meant to stand there in the middle of the street for those stupid bastards to see me, to see that they weren't going after any children, not that day," Hermione said.
They arrived at the gate. "What if you had died that day?" Matthew asked.
Hermione shrugged and said matter-of-factly, "Then it would have been meant to be, no great loss. Good day, Auror Tillman."
He watched her walk the path to Hogsmeade until she was out of his sight.
"You don't mean that," he whispered. He stood alone at the gate and felt his heart fall to his stomach. She thinks her death would be no great loss? How wrong she is!
Severus went back to Minerva's office. Inside, he shared a cup of tea with the older witch.
"Has that young witch always been so guarded? So intense?" he asked.
"Admittedly, no. She's getting over a broken heart," Minerva explained. "I see the Hermione we all know and love in her eyes and the occasional smile- I only wish I saw more of them."
"I see," he said. "What of the man who-"
"I wish I knew, he hasn't been heard or seen since they parted ways. I was fond of the man; I knew him since he was a student here and I never took him for someone that would just run off and hide. They loved each other, I was sure of it. I want to throttle him for what he did to that sweet girl," she said.
"Before she left, she made an odd comment," he said.
"Oh?"
"She said that if she had died in Hogsmeade, her death would have been no great loss," he said.
"I'm not sure if that's the bravado of an Auror speaking or her heart," Minerva said.
The next night at Grimmauld Place, Matthew sat at end of the dining room, watching Order members arrive. When Minerva was about to call the meeting to order, the floo sounded and Harry and Hermione hurried through, still in their uniforms.
"Sorry, late project," Harry said. Hermione nodded apologetically.
"Of course, have a seat," Minerva said. "Young people," she mumbled.
When Hermione took a seat, Remus passed her a plate of chocolate chip cookies that Molly always made for Order meetings. She could be heard in he kitchen cooking something else. Hermione took two cookies and ate them quickly.
"Now that Remus and Hermione have settled the matter of the cookies, we can get started," Minerva said lightly.
Matthew gave his assessment of potential Death Eater threats from within Hogwarts, citing them as minimal.
"The children of Death Eaters are for the most part already withdrawn from school, presumably getting ready to fight alongside their parents, sad really," he said.
Hermione and Harry glanced at each other. They would have to battle and possibly kill former classmates.
"However, I do have my eye on a few students, from Slytherin and Gryffindor," he said. "Sorry Minerva."
Harry and Hermione bristled at the thought of a Gryffindor with dark intentions. If it were true...
Let me be the one to face him! Hermione thought.
"Have you something to add, Miss Granger?" Minerva asked. "Face who?"
Hermione blushed, unaware that she had voiced her thought out loud. "It's nothing, pay no attention to my moronic ramblings," Hermione said.
When the meeting ended, Hermione took it upon herself to help Molly serve dinner. Platters of food soon graced the table, and Hermione was the first to load her plate.
"Hungry much?" Harry asked.
"I missed lunch," she said.
"It's no good to-" Harry started.
"-Miss meals," Matthew said from beside her.
"I'm flattered that you two are so concerned for my well-being," she said primly.
"Cause you sure the hell aren't," Harry mumbled.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Hermione asked as she took a bite of mashed potatoes.
"Hermione, you've heard of tough love I assume?" Harry asked.
"Yeah," Hermione answered cautiously.
"Well, I'm about to pull a bit of it on you," Harry said.
"Wonderful," Hermione mumbled and stood up.
"You're not leaving, even if that means I do a body bind on you to get you to listen," Harry warned.
"All right, fuck it, let's at least go somewhere private for my humiliation," she snarled and threw down her napkin.
Harry winked at Minerva. So there was some emotion in there, buried deep down in Hermione's mind. Now to just bring it to the surface. Harry went to the parlor and warded the door shut so no one else could open it. In case of a Hermione-induced rampage, Harry wanted to be the only target. He glanced around the room- there wasn't too much to throw.
"You have something to say to me?" Hermione demanded.
"Yes. Do you have a death wish? Or some kind of other weird wish?"
"Did Minerva put you up to this?" Hermione asked.
"No! You put me up to this!" Harry shouted. "For months now, I've watched my best friend...waste away! You're reckless, unfeeling, withdrawn and I'm sick of it! Everyone's sick of it!"
Hermione said nothing and looked at him with wide eyes, her face pale. Harry stood in front of her and took her face in his hands.
"Why are you punishing yourself? He was the one horribly wrong, he left," Harry said. "You did nothing but love him with all your heart, because that's the only way you know how, that's not wrong. If only we could all be so lucky to have someone love us like that," Harry pleaded.
Tears were falling from her eyes. Harry drew her close.
"So many people love you and only want good things for you," he said softly. "Please don't throw that all away over some git."
"Sometimes...I feel like I don't know what I'm doing," she said into his chest.
"We all feel that way sometimes," Harry said, lifting her chin. "You're just a little lost right now, you just need help to find your way is all. You have people that will happily line up to help you, do you know that?"
She shook her head. "Have I had my head that far up my arse?"
"Ahh, such eloquence from the brightest witch of her age, but yes," Harry said.
"Ginny's a lucky girl to have you," she said.
"While I thank you for the compliment, this is about you. The Supremely Stupid Git That Is Severus Snape was lucky to have had you, and now some other wizard will-," Harry assured her.
Hermione held up her hand. "Whoa no, it's way too soon for that. The only men I can stand to even talk to are you, Remus and Ron. Anyone else is out of necessity."
Later, while Hermione was helping Molly clean the kitchen, Harry chatted with Minerva.
"So, how is she?" she asked.
"I think she's gonna be all right," Harry said. "However, I hope I'm there when that git Snape comes out of hiding. Hermione's imagination is a thing of beauty, and she's learned a few new things since joining the Aurors."
"What's that saying about a scorned woman?" Remus asked.
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," Matthew said from beside them.