It's What's Inside That Counts
Chapter 28
It only took Hermione a week after she woke to engage people in conversation and sit up on her own to be placed in a wheelchair in a private room. She had a difficult time dealing with the loss of her hand and told Harry as much. He was advised to be patient and understanding as she worked through the shock, anger and denial of her injury.
"People will stare and say oh look, there goes Hermione Granger, the handless wonder," she snarled. "Heroine my arse."
Severus wanted to pay a visit, a short last one to wish her well and drop off another bouquet of flowers. He stopped outside the door and listened.
"Don't be silly, if people say anything, it will be how brave you are. This happened from fighting Voldemort," Harry said. "We're just glad you're alive love, losing a hand is nothing compared to losing you."
Hermione sighed. "You're right. I'm sure Tony's parents would give anything to have him alive."
She picked up one of the booklets about prosthetics and tossed it aside. "It's just hard to look at the stump and see nothing there. It also convinces me that I have the worst luck on Earth. I was right-handed and I go and lose my right hand in the oddest act of magic I can imagine- and I can imagine a lot."
"You're one of the smartest witches alive. If anyone can learn how to do stuff with the other hand, it's you," Harry said.
Severus cleared his throat from the doorway. Harry and Hermione looked that way. She blushed when she saw him. Two nights ago, she caught up on the happenings of the Wizarding world through the stack of newspapers left at her side and read the "Story of True Love" issue. Everyone who came to visit told her of how Severus practically took up residence at her bedside while she was comatose. In her heart she had forgiven him. Honestly, how could she not? He was willing to die for her, but all her mind knew were the horrible things he called her and the heartless manner in which he left her. Now he stood there in the doorway with a large bouquet of lilies, her favorite, with an indescribable look in his eyes.
"As if I don't have enough to deal with," she mumbled and waved impatiently his direction. "You can come in, no need to stand in the door," she said.
"I'll just...whatever," Harry said and made a quick exit.
"And you're supposed to be some sort of hero?" Hermione called to Harry's fleeting back and looked at Severus.
"I'm pleased to see you're feeling better," he said.
"Thank you for your concern," she said.
Outwardly, she was calm, cool and collected. Inside, she was as conflicted as a person could get.
Coma, missing hand, Severus- have I left anything out? she thought then there was a knock on the door.
"Come in," she said. She was greeted by the smiling face of Francois the gigolo.
Coma, missing hand, Severus and oh yes, let's not forget Francois! she thought ruefully but put on the best face possible. I wish I was still in a coma!
Francois however was discreet and kind upon his arrival. He now knew her name wasn't Ariel and that she was a well-known, loved war hero. He also knew of the other wizard in the room- he was quite possibly the reason she had patronized Madame Ramada's in the first place. He wouldn't say a word. Severus knew who this man was and resisted the urge to verbally skewer the man, knowing that it wouldn't be the best way to get back in Hermione's good graces.
"Ariel, it pleases me to see you doing so well," Francois said and gave her a box of chocolate covered strawberries.
"Thank you so much," Hermione said and gave him a warm smile. "How are you?"
"You're asking me how I am?"
"Francois, I seem to have forgotten my manners, this is Severus Snape," Hermione said. "And yes, I wouldn't have asked you how you were if I didn't want to know."
He took a business card from his robe pocket and gave it to her.
"Books for the Discriminating Reader"
Browsers Welcome
Walter Shortfellow, Prop.
She read it, smiled and looked at him. "Walter Shortfellow?" she asked. "You're taller than him!" she said and gestured to Severus, who stood at six feet tall.
No wonder he uses Francois! she thought merrily. What she thought was going to be another "would the Earth just open up and swallow me whole" experience was turning out to be mildly entertaining.
"An amusing gift from my ancestors," he said.
"You're not working at...?" she asked, glancing at Severus.
She didn't know that Severus already knew who this man was.
"No, I peddle books nowadays," he said. "I got some good advice from someone not long ago," he said with a wink.
"Well, when I am released from here, I will certainly pay your shop a visit," Hermione said.
"I would like that very much," Walter said.
He truly hoped she would- he would personally show her the poetry shelves and ask her to lunch perhaps. Severus heard hope in the voice of the man by the way he said "I would like that very much" and was very glad when Hermione yawned.
"I'm sorry for tiring you, I'll be leaving. I just wanted to drop by and wish you a speedy recovery," Walter said. "Good day Ariel."
"I will take my leave as well, you need your rest," Severus said. "Good afternoon."
He turned, cast a renewal spell on the dozens of bouquets in room and made his way to the door. When his hand was on the doorknob he heard "Severus?"
He stopped and faced her.
"I can't forget what you said, but I do forgive you," she said softly. "Life's too short for anything else."
He nodded and left the room. Hermione let out a breath she had been holding and flopped back on the pillows. Outside, Severus closed his eyes and leaned on the wall.
April 20th
A month later, Hermione was deemed strong enough to be discharged from St. Mungo's. Molly was there to help pack her belongings and take her home.
"Are you sure you won't stay at the Burrow for a few days?" Molly asked for the tenth time.
"Thanks, again, for the offer, but I miss the farm too much to stay away any longer than I must," she said.
Hermione almost cried when Hannah came bounding at her. The pup sniffed her arm where her hand used to be for a moment and continued to lavish her with soothing puppy love.
"How's my favorite pup in the whole wide world?" Hermione gushed and cuddled with the dog.
"Remember, if you need anything, anything at all, we're just a floo away," Molly said and hugged her. "We came so close to losing you..." she said and wiped a tear that fell down her cheek.
"Whoa, no Molly, don't start crying, you'll make me cry," she said and accio-ed a box of tissue. "See? I'll be fine."
On April 25th, Hermione had an appointment with another healer to be fitted for her prosthetic hand.
"Based on your needs and the perfect condition of your arm, I believe I have the perfect model for you," the healer said. "There are aspects of Muggle medicine I despise and some I hold in high regard. The area of prosthetics is one of the latter, they really are a marvel," he said kindly and lifted a prosthetic hand from a display on a shelf behind him.
"This is a transradial dynamic prosthesis that employs a myoelectric hand," he said and presented it with a flourish. At Hermione's blank look he explained.
"Simply put, it senses the voltage when you flex the muscles of your arm and transmits the signal to a small motor that opens and closes the prosthesis."
He gave it to her to examine. It was a rubber-like material that looked an awful lot like a hand from a mannequin.
"We are magical however, so we touch it up a bit. I'll apply charms to keep away moisture, heat and cold. There will be a cushioning charm to prevent chafing of your wrist and a special sticking charm so it never slips off accidentally. Now, would you care to try?"
She nodded and he slowly placed it on her arm so she could see how it was done.
"Do you have anyone at home to help? You can do it by yourself of course, it's just easier with help," he said as he adjusted the straps.
"No, I'm alone," she said.
"I'm sure you'll do fine," he said kindly. "Now, flex the muscles of your arm to get a feel of it."
They worked for a solid hour until she had moved the fingers.
"I'll schedule you for therapy twice a week, to strengthen the arm and practice basic motor functions," he said and gave her two booklets. "These are about care and maintenance of the hand and exercises I want you to practice at home."
When she returned home, Hannah again examined her hand and barked to announce the arrival of not a person, but an owl that had landed on the porch. She opened the door and saw the small owl.
"Aren't you a pretty one?" she asked.
She held her left arm out and the owl flew to her arm.
"Friendly one too," she said and took the letter from the bird's extended leg.
She intended to bin the letter when she saw who it was from, but when this letter wasn't delivered by a large, cranky raven but a sweet, pretty owl, her curiosity was piqued.
Hermione Granger
Granger Farm, Bristol
Miss Granger-
I was pleased to hear of your release from St. Mungo's. I know how much you missed your farm, Hannah in particular. I now present this owl to add to your menagerie, she is yours. I also wish to express that I was overjoyed with the kind words you bestowed upon me when I last saw you. I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness, but to have it is a gift that I cherish and will never forget. Your unrelenting compassion humbles me beyond words.
Your obedient servant,
Severus Snape
The next day she received a letter from him that only had a brief poem on the parchment.
"I held a jewel in my fingers and went to sleep
The day was warm and the winds were prosy
I said, "Twill keep."
I woke- and chide my honest fingers, the Gem was gone
And now, an Amethyst remembrance is all I own."
The next day, another poem arrived. It was certainly Severus' style.
"Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul
And sings a tune -- without words, and never stops at all,.
And sweetest in the gale, is heard; and sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird that kept so many warm.
I've heard it in the chilliest land and on the strangest sea
Yet, never, in extremity, it asked a crumb of me."
A week later, she read the seventh letter from him and put the seventh box of chocolate covered strawberries on the kitchen table.
"He's trying to make me fat," she mumbled and carefully picked a treat from the box with the prosthesis. She tossed it to Hannah, who eagerly caught it mid-air. She read the letter again. It really was the perfect poem.
"There are little traits that keep me bound...
I think of nothing else save the bright face of my lady-
Ah me! Her swan-white throat, her strong chin,
Her fresh laughing mouth which daily seems to say,
"Come kiss me, love, kiss me once again!"
Her regal nose, her smiling grey eyes-
(That thieve to steal a lover's heart)-
And her brown tresses that wildly fly.
Each have wounded me as with a dart.
So amorous are these are these that I deem
They will slay me. Ah God, ah God!
Alas, who will save me?"
"This is the best one yet," she conceded.
Hope bloomed in Severus' heart over the week. The letters he sent were not returned, which meant she either binned them, burned them, ignored them or read them. He hoped she read them; he poured over dozens of tomes of poetry and spent countless hours finding the right words to express what he felt.
Late that night, she was awakened by Hannah barking and pawing at her bedroom window. She sleepily sat up and fussed.
"Hannah, you have a dog door, it's downstairs," she mumbled and settled back down in bed.
Hannah barked again at the window. She threw the covers back, opened her window and looked down at the front yard. She thought she was dreaming at the sight she was presented with.
Severus was standing in her front yard with a large CD player?? He pushed a button on the player, music started and he held it above his head. What on Earth?
"Love, I get so lost sometimes
Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
When I want to run away
I drive off in my car, but whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are
All my instincts they return
And the grand facade so soon will burn
Without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside
In your eyes, the light the heat
In your eyes, I am complete
In your eyes, I see the doorway
to a thousand churches
In your eyes, the resolution
of all the fruitless searches
In your eyes, I see the light the heat
In your eyes, oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light, the heat
I see in your eyes
Love, I don't like to see so much pain
So much wasted and this moment keeps
slipping away
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival
I look to the time with you
to keep me awake and alive
All my instincts they return
And the grand facade so soon will burn
Without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside
In your eyes, the light the heat
In your eyes, I am complete
In your eyes I see the doorway
to a thousand churches
In your eyes, the resolution
of all the fruitless searches
In your eyes, I see the light the heat
In your eyes, oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light, the heat
I see in your eyes
in your eyes
in your eyes
in your eyes..."
When the song ended, she closed the window. Severus lowered the radio, sighed and closed his eyes. Just before he apparated the front door opened.
"Severus?" a gentle voice asked.
He looked up.
"Why?" she asked.
"I love you Hermione. I will do whatever it takes, however long it takes to convince you of that," he said.
"Good night," she said and closed the door.
Author's notes:
In case you haven't noticed from my stories, I love music, poetry and movies. The talented people behind the music, poetry and movies can often express what we feel much better than we can. I humbly borrow their talent and give them credit.
I Held A Jewel poem by Emily Dickinson
Hope Is a Thing With Feathers poem by Emily Dickinson
A 13th century untitled poem by an unknown writer
For those of you old enough to remember the movie, the "radio scene" in this chapter is from the movie "Say Anything." The song is In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel.