"The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up."

Paul Valery

Chapter Six

Today she was going to ride a horse.

She was going to show that son of a bitch cowboy that she could in fact ride.

It couldn't be that hard, could it? It had always seemed so simple. All it looked like you needed to do was swing onto the horse's back, grab ahold of the reins and tap the horse lightly with your heels, and then let it go. That was certainly manageable, right?

With this thought set firmly in mind, Bella opened the stall door of a brown and white pinto munching quietly on a pile of hay. Lifting his head, he stared at her curiously while continuing to munch, the straw of hay sticking out both sides of his muzzle.

"Hey there, big guy," Bella said cheerfully, taking a step forward and giving him a little scratch behind the ear. "Wanna ride?"

The gelding let out a shrill, hitch-pitched neigh, causing Bella to take a quick step back in surprise.

"Was that really necessary?" Bella scolded, crossing her arms. "You nearly busted my ear drums. I like my hearing intact, thank you very much."

The horse snorted loudly, swishing his tail back in forth in a forceful manner. Taking this as a sign that he was excited, Bella laughed and stepped closer this time. Placing her hands on the back of the horse, she blinked and thought, well, here goes nothing.

With one mighty jump her chest was flat on the horse's back. Scrambling around, Bella grabbed onto the horse's mane and yanked herself forward to become better balanced. To her complete shock and utter horror the gelding emitted a terrible shriek and rose onto its hind legs, lashing out with his front hooves.

One of the hooves came into contact with the wall and Bella winced as the horrible noise resounded in her ears. A sudden gasp escaped her throat as she lost her grip on the horse's mane and in less than a second she was on the ground, her head crashing into the corner of the stall.

Another high-pitched shriek came from the horse and out of the corner of her eye she could see his flashing hooves, narrowing in on her face. Closing her eyes, she waited for death to transpire, but was caught unexpectedly by surprise when a handsome blond-haired cowboy bounded into the stall. He immediately lifted his hands and calmed the raging psycho horse who had been aiming to kill her just the moment before.

Once that was accomplished Jasper turned around and focused his attention on Bella, frowning when he saw blood trickling down the side of her forehead. "Shoot," he muttered, bending down and cradling her face in his rough, yet gentle hands. He swiped the lingering blood away with his thumb and mused softly, "It ain't that bad. Could've been worse."

"Who are you talking to?" Bella mumbled, lifting her hand to swipe his away yet missing completely.

"You, idiot," Jasper said, but so lightly that Bella could hardly take it as an insult. "What were you thinking, coming into old Hammer's stall? He could've killed you."

Bella blinked and then let out a giggle. "His name is Hammer?"

"I don't see how you think this is funny," Jasper said with a frown, although the corner of his lips had twitched slightly at her comment. "What were you trying to do anyway, besides kill yourself?"

Narrowing her eyes, Bella shrugged a little in embarrassment. She refused to tell him the truth. "I was just…petting him."

"On his back?" Jasper questioned, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

"Yes, on his back," Bella snapped, glaring at him. "What's with the twenty questions?"

Jasper stared at her thoughtfully for a couple moments, before a grin suddenly appeared on his face. "You were trying to learn how to ride, weren't you?"

"I was not trying to learn how to ride," Bella denied hotly, her cheeks undoubtedly beginning to flame with heat. "God, that sounds so…absurd. You're absurd if you think that I-"

"All you had to do was ask," Jasper said calmly, "and I would have gladly taught you."

"Shut up! I do not want to-"

Jasper cut her off, excitement in his tone as he began to talk about riding. "So how would you like to learn first, saddle or bare-back? For beginners I'd recommend saddle. Bare-back can be a tad bit uncomfortable, but you get used to it after a while. The next thing we need to consider is whether you should ride Western or English. Hmm, Western probably, riding English can get a bit bouncy and I don't want you falling off again. Speaking of which, how is your head?"

Bella stared at him blankly, mouth hanging open. She hadn't even noticed the ebbing throb in her head until he had mentioned it, but she chose to ignore it and instead focus on Jasper.

"I'm perfectly fine," Bella sniffed, wondering why he had to be so concerned. She wasn't a fragile little doll; she was completely capable of taking care of herself. And besides, if she could survive many other more dramatic injuries in her lifetime than she could certainly survive being thrown off a damned horse.

"Well, next time don't just mount a random horse and assume you can ride it. Every horse has their own temperament and some are worse than others, especially old Hammer's." Jasper pointed his thumb over at Hammer, chewing contently on his hay once again. "And especially when you don't even know the basics," he added.

"I do too know the basics," Bella said, lying straight through her teeth.

"Really?" Jasper crossed his arms and eyed her. "What are they then?" he challenged.

"Um, they're…uh, um…" Bella sighed, shoulders slumping. Damn it. Damn him. "Okay, fine, I don't know them. Happy?"

"Nope, not until I see you riding properly. Now, follow me. We're going to go pick out a saddle."

Oh, the nerve of this cowboy! Who did he think he was, bossing her around like this? If she couldn't learn how to ride a horse on her own than she didn't want to learn at all. But something about the way he glanced over his shoulder and smiled caused her to follow him, and a defeated sigh escaped her lips.

"You were wrong, you know," Bella told him as they walked towards the tack room.

Jasper gave her a quick sidelong glance and asked, "Wrong about what?"

"About my smile," she clarified, her voice firm, "I didn't see anything. You were wrong."

Stopping, Jasper turned to face her. Pressing his lips into a tight, firm line, he stared at Bella for several long moments before murmuring, "Maybe you were looking but you weren't actually seeing."

"What?" Bella rolled her eyes. "Of course I was seeing, that's what eyes are for, aren't they? The last time I checked they were both working. I saw nothing. Okay? Nothing. You obviously were lying to make me feel better. Right?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"I would never lie to you," Jasper said, frowning. "Bella, if you just let yourself feel-"

"And for what?" Bella quickly interrupted, narrowing her eyes angrily. "As far as I'm concerned, I have no reason to feel happy. My mom is dead and I have a lying, deceiving step-dad who did nothing, for that matter. I'm stuck in this stupid, godforsaken town and I have you who seem to think that you can make it all okay. Well, guess what? Not everything can be healed. Sometimes…sometimes hearts will stay broken forever."

Silence followed Bella's outburst. She stared at him, waiting for a response. She hoped she had finally gotten through to him and that maybe now he'd stop trying to help her and instead leave her the hell alone. That was all she wanted.

However what he said next puzzled her. It was a simple question, yet one she found very hard to answer.

"How?" Jasper asked softly, lifting his head and staring deeply into her eyes.

Could Bella allow herself to say it out loud? Did she have the courage to let him know what happened? Maybe if she said it once, just once, she wouldn't have to say it ever again. Perhaps once was all it took for everything to fall back into place.

And so finally, Bella said it. Out loud. And enclosed in her answer were all the pain, suffering and torment that came with it.

"My…my mom was diagnosed with cancer," Bella whispered brokenly, fresh tears soon welling up in her eyes. "The doctor said that if she started chemotherapy right away she'd have a good chance of surviving. I was so confident that she was going to live. I visited her in the hospital every day, but my step-dad, Phil…he became more distant. He rarely visited the hospital, and whenever he did he never stayed for long. One day, when I came back from school I saw…"

Clenching her hands into fists, Bella stared hard past Jasper's shoulder and continued angrily. "I saw him with another woman. He cheated on my mom while she was dying. While she was dying. He told me that he was scared of being alone, but that he loved my mother very much. I didn't believe him. I never believed him."

With tears swiftly consuming her face Bella barely noticed Jasper move closer, nor did she care when he wrapped her quivering body in his warm, comforting embrace. Choked with sobs she continued to speak, not even thinking about what to say anymore. It was all pouring out, free at last. The weirdest part? Bella's shoulder felt lighter, as if a burden was just beginning to lift. Free at last…

"When my mother found out about Phil it was like she just gave up. What my step-father did killed her. Literally. If he had stayed loyal to her, if he had visited her every day like me and loved her all along, she would've fought harder knowing that he still loved her. She would still be alive if he had only been faithful. I hate him for betraying us like that. I hate him."

Tangling his fingers in her hair, Jasper pulled her head into the nape of his neck and let her weep. He felt the over-whelming need to protect her surge through him and with a soft sigh he held her tighter and lightly kissed her wet, glistening cheek. I'm so sorry…he wanted to say; although he knew the words would be useless the moment they left his mouth. I wish I could take away all of your pain and make it my own…I would do anything to make you happy.

Instead, he kept asking her questions. Question after question he watched the truth reveal itself right before his eyes. He learned many things about her then: how she thought she hadn't been good enough to keep her mother alive and if she hadn't been strong enough for that what good would she be to anyone else? He discovered that she blamed herself every day for her mother's death, and carrying that burden on her shoulder had transformed her into a whole different person. She wasn't the same Bella she'd been before her mother was diagnosed with cancer – happy, care-free and filled with the quenching need to live her life.

How could he possibly give all that back to her?

With a suddenly strong, fierce determination, Jasper lifted her chin and murmured softly, "Let me show you something…I promise you'll like it."

She nodded once and he quickly took her hand, guiding her towards another horse's stall. "Stay here," he told her, and then walked inside.

Soon he came out leading a beautiful white mare. "This is Sweet Thing," he told Bella, adding gently, "She's not aggressive like old Hammer." With that being said, he cross-tied the mare inside the barn and quickly began to brush her down.

"Do you want to try?" he asked Bella kindly, holding up one of the curry combs.

"I…I guess," Bella replied uncertainly, taking a hesitant step forward.

Jasper smiled and placed the comb correctly in her hand before gently laying the comb on the horse's side. "Now with this kind of comb you brush in circles, like this." Leaning forward, he allowed his fingers to fall in between hers as he demonstrated, their hands moving together slowly in repeated circles.

Bella turned her head to look at him, her breath catching in her throat when she realized just how close they really were. She could feel the warmth of their body's proximity and for the briefest moment she almost had the urge to-

"Well," Jasper said suddenly, quickly snapping her out of it. "I think you know how to do it now. Shall we saddle her up?"

"S-sure…" Bella stammered quietly, wondering what had gotten into her. These feelings that she had around Jasper, they were totally alien. She could barely comprehend any of them, yet when she looked at Jasper, especially in the eyes, she didn't feel the need to. They were just there.

By the time they finished putting on all of the equipment the sun had reached its highest peak, spreading rays of golden sunlight into the holes of the barn ceiling. Taking an easy, effortless leap onto the back of the saddle, Jasper glanced down at Bella and offered a hand.

"Are you ready?"

"I'm going to be sitting up front?" Bella eyed the saddle distrustfully.

"Yeah, it'll be okay. I won't let you fall," Jasper promised, gazing down at her with an encouraging smile. Bella glanced up at his hand and without a second of hesitation she grabbed it and clumsily pulled herself up. Almost immediately she was on top of the horse with Jasper's arms wrapped snugly around her waist.

"There, see? It's not so bad," Jasper whispered next to her ear, causing a shiver to run down her spine.

"Wow, it's so…high," Bella observed, glancing down and then quickly back up again.

Jasper chuckled. "You'll get used to it. Now, are you ready?"

"Um…"

"Here we go." Clicking his tongue, Jasper gave a gentle tap with his heels, and with a soft nicker Sweet Thing stepped forward, walking straight out of the barn.

Bella gasped and Jasper's arms tightened around her. "It's okay," he murmured. "If you feel like you're going to fall squeeze with your legs. It won't hurt the horse one bit."

As they headed up the trail Bella slowly began to fall into the horse's rhythm. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as they rode. It was like nothing she had ever experienced before; why hadn't she wanted to ride sooner?

Because I didn't know it would be like…this.

It was so peaceful. The sun shone through the branches of the trees, shedding rays of golden sunlight onto the ground. Closing her eyes, Bella could feel the warmth of the sun on her face and the soft breeze as it brushed against her skin. Letting her muscles relax, Bella leaned against Jasper's chest and allowed herself to simply enjoy the moment.

Soon they were at the top of an extremely steep precipice. Hopping off the horse, Jasper ground tied Sweet Thing to an old tree stump and then helped Bella off the saddle.

"Where are we?" she inquired curiously, surprising herself by not breaking away from his touch after he had taken her hand.

"Just look," Jasper said quietly, leading her to the very edge of the cliff.

She looked out…and was stunned into silence.

Vast mountains, as far as she could see, reached as high as the sky with snow-capped tops. Endless, trickling streams flowed through the valleys, and if she looked far enough she could see a gushing waterfall cascading down into a brilliant pool of water. Bella's breath caught in her throat as she surveyed the sight.

"It's beautiful," she whispered, continuing to gaze at the landscape with wide, wandering eyes. "I've never seen anything like it."

Smiling softly, Jasper stepped forward and placed a hand on her shoulder. "You're beautiful," he murmured in her ear, taking her completely off guard. "This, Bella…this could be you. All you need to do is let go…leave the past behind you. Because what you have right in front of you…" Jasper glanced towards the mountains and added quietly, "…it's waiting for you to grab and take hold. Don't push this away Bella, because this…this is far too good to waste."

Speechless, Bella glanced once more towards the mountains and for the first time in months she felt a tiny spurt of hope grow within her. For the first time she could see what Jasper was trying to tell her. All of this could be hers if she just let it. She could become happy again if she just let go.

"Let go," Jasper whispered, echoing her thoughts. She turned her head to look at him and could finally see the care and compassion for her gleaming in his beautiful amber eyes. "Let go and you'll be home free."

Home free…

Her mother's voice filled her mind and drew a smile to her lips. Here is your opportunity, she could almost hear her mother telling her, now is the time to take it.

And in pressing her mouth to Jasper's, the whole world spinning the moment their lips touched, that was exactly what she did.

You all are wonderful, thank you so much for your reviews. This chapter is one of my favorites, I hope you enjoyed it. :)