April was sitting alone on a bench next to the barn, shivering as the evening air began to set in. She was still in her gown and had pulled her wedding shawl tightly around her shoulders to try to keep warm. Lost in her thoughts, was startled as she heard footsteps on the gravel pathway. She looked up quickly, hoping to see that Matthew had returned. Instead, she saw Arizona coming up beside her.
"Hey," Arizona said softly. "You wanna talk about it?," she asked as she sat down on the bench next to April.
April looked down at her hands, absent-mindedly twisting her engagement ring around her finger. "Thanks Arizona, but I'm not really sure there's anything to talk about. I mean, unless you want to talk about how my wedding is ruined. Or how my life is ruined. Or how much Matthew hates me. Happy wedding day to me!" she replied sarcastically.
Arizona gave April a sympathetic look. "I'm sure he doesn't hate you."
April scoffed, "Oh, I'm pretty sure he does. In fact, that's what he told me in so many words when I chased after him. I believe his exact words were, 'Don't follow me. Don't call me. Don't ever talk to me again.'"
"Ouch," Arizona said with a grimace.
April gave a weak smile, "Yeah, tell me about it. He just kept saying that he knew as soon as I wouldn't answer Jackson's question what my answer really was. Isn't that ridiculous?"
Arizona raised her eyebrow as she asked, "Is it, April? I mean, I watched your reaction too and I wouldn't exactly say that Matthew is off base."
April rolled her eyes as she started to stammer, "Oh come on! You know, why does it even matter how I feel about Jackson? He told me to choose and so I did. I chose. I chose to be with Matthew. That's all the matters."
"Wait. Who told you to choose?" Arizona asked.
"Jackson did." And then April looked away from Arizona as she confessed quietly, "Right after the bus exploded, right after Matthew proposed, I sorta, kinda told Jackson I wanted him."
Arizona laughed, "Sorta, kinda, huh? You know, now that you mention it Callie may have told me you freakin' out a little bit about Jackson during the storm. I believe the term she used was 'basket case.'"
"Ha. Ha. Yeah, laugh at the crazy girl," April said as she threw up her hands. Then the tears started to flow again as she buried her face in her hands. "I just hate this. Everything is a mess now… my wedding, my plan for my life… Me. I'm a mess. I'm a basket case. Yet again."
Arizona interrupted, "No, hey April, I was just teasing you." She put her arm around her friend's shoulder as she continued, "Listen, it's gonna be okay. I know that this whole thing wasn't in your plans. But plans change." Arizona reached into her purse to fish out a tissue for April.
April hiccupped through her tears as she took the tissue from Arizona and dabbed at her eyes. "You sound like Meredith when I thought I was pregnant…"
"What? You thought you were pregnant?!" Arizona exclaimed. "Oh my god, April, I feel like you've had this whole secret relationship with Jackson that none of us knew about."
April hiccupped again, "Yeah, well, sometimes I feel like I didn't even know about."
Arizona gave April a quizzical look. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I don't know," April said as she shook her head. She continued, "It's just that hearing what Jackson said today, I feel like I never really got where he was coming from until now."
Arizona sat quietly and just nodded. She knew she needed to let April take her time. April rarely opened up to people, so Arizona figured it must be hard for her to share this kind of stuff.
April continued, "I've never told anybody because I was so embarrassed at how I handled the whole thing. But when we thought I might be pregnant, Jackson asked me to marry him."
Arizona did her best to hide her surprise as she encouraged April to keep talking. "Go on," she said.
"Well, we talked about getting married, even talked about the butterflies and the 'mint to be,'" April smiled. "You know, I always thought he proposed because he felt obligated… just to be a stand-up guy and all. But I don't know, after today…" April's voice trailed off and she seemed lost in her thoughts.
"After today, what?" Arizona asked.
April's brow furrowed and she sighed. "I'm not sure," she continued. "But I feel like maybe it was something more. I mean, the look on his face when we found out the test was negative. I don't know… I guess he seemed… almost sad. Like maybe he actually was hoping I was pregnant, hoping we'd be together like that." April shook her head, "Ridiculous, right?
"No sweetie," Arizona said sympathetically as she squeezed her friend's shoulder. "It doesn't sound ridiculous at all. It sounds like he was in love with you."
April objected, "But he's Jackson Avery. And I'm Ducky. Averys don't fall in love with ducks."
Arizona laughed as she reminded her, "You're not Ducky anymore, remember? You're a swan - a kickass, trauma surgeon swan."
April gave a little laugh, "Yeah? Well now I'm a swan with no husband, no plan, no nothing."
Arizona squeezed her friend's shoulder again. "Oh, I wouldn't say that. I'd say you've got a lot. You've got a great job. And you've got a strangely large, red-headed family." She laughed as she continued, "And you've got a lot of friends that came here today to support you. And you've got a really cute boy that says he loves you."
April gave a nervous smile. "I should probably go talk to him, shouldn't I?"
"Yeah," Arizona replied. "I'm betting he still wants an answer to his question."