"When love is not madness, it is not love."
Pedro Calderon de la Barca
Chapter Twelve
"Jasper, you've got to be kidding me."
"Why would I joke about something like this?"
"Because you know it's not something I would do."
"Spending time with me is not something you'd do?"
Bella let out a loud, exasperated sigh as she threw some of her dirty clothes into the washer. Crossing her arms, she turned to face him. "Jasper, this isn't simply hanging out with you. This requires dressing up, going somewhere and dancing." She made a face to express her utter distaste towards this idea.
Jasper chuckled. "Bella, it's just a dance. It's nothing to get into a tizzy about."
"Wrong," she stated firmly, throwing the last of her wash in before closing the top loudly and with quite the dramatic flourish. "I have reasons why I should get into a tizzy. I suck at dancing, Jasper. And going to social functions where there are tons of people and I'm bound to embarrass myself is not on the top of my priority list. I simply don't do dances. At all. Okay?"
Stepping away from the wall, Jasper reached out and claimed her wrist with his hand, using it to pull her gently against his chest. Lowering his head, he grazed his lips tantalizingly against hers, causing her head to spin. She leaned closer and kissed him back, placing her hand over his heart.
When the kiss ended, he kept his head close to hers and gazed deeply into her eyes before murmuring reassuringly, "I promise I'll be by your side the entire time. If anyone laughs at you for whatever reason they'll have to answer to me."
Bella smiled and murmured, "That's sweet Jasper, but…I don't even like wearing dresses."
Jasper's amber eyes sparkled. "I bet you look amazing in them."
Bella rolled her eyes. "That's not the point. I just feel…awkward wearing them." She diverted her gaze to the ground and bit down softly on her lip.
"Bella, you're not awkward," Jasper told her and then added in a low sultry drawl, "You're beautiful."
She tilted her head to the side and remarked, "You're going to make me go to the dance, aren't you?"
Jasper smirked, "You bet."
Bella groaned, "And if I refuse?"
He raised an eyebrow and said slyly, "Well, then I guess I'll just have to take Jessica."
Bella gasped and exclaimed, "You wouldn't dare!"
"I don't know," he stated slowly, "would I?"
"I'm beginning to think you're merely trying to annoy me," Bella muttered mainly to herself before lifting her head and asking curiously, "Why do you want to go to this dance anyway?"
"Because it'll be fun…and because I'd like to show you off."
"Jasper, be serious," Bella warned.
"I'm perfectly serious, Bella. Now it's time for you to be serious with me," Jasper replied, his golden amber eyes boring into hers.
Bella's eyes widened and she stared at him. Did he just say what I thought he said? She was absolutely stunned and it clearly showed. "Um, Jasper…" she trailed off, looking puzzled. She honestly didn't know how to respond to that. How did she even feel? She didn't know and she wasn't sure if she was ready to find out quite yet.
"You know how I feel about you, Bella," Jasper urged, taking her hand. "Don't make me beg. Just come to the dance with me…I promise to show you a good time."
And what will it mean to you if I did? Bella thought, staring questionably into his warm, yearning gaze. It's just a dance, she decided, it won't mean anything.
"Okay," Bella said at last, sighing as she glanced up at Jasper, "I'll go to the stupid dance."
Jasper grinned and enveloped her in a hug. "You won't regret it," he murmured. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before heading out of the house, whistling a tune.
It was official. She had absolutely nothing to wear.
Damn you, Jasper, Bella thought irritably, tossing a red sundress over her shoulder. There was only two days left until the night of the dance and she had nothing. The nearest mall was literally an hour and a half away. She was not going to drive that far for a silly little dress. There had to be something else she could do…
And then suddenly an idea came to her.
Angela!
She seemed like the kind of girl who would own more than one dress. And plus, they were about the same size. She'd ask Jessica, of course, but Bella didn't want to risk getting into a conversation about Jasper. How awkward would that be? She knew that if she started talking about Jasper she'd let it slip that she was going to the dance with him. Bella could only imagine the appalled look on Jessica's face the second she found out.
Bella may not be a fan of dancing but she despised confrontations most of all.
Oh Jasper, the things you make me do.
Bella lied down on her bed and stared up at the ceiling, thinking about none other than the handsome cowboy who spun her world around on a daily basis. The man was straight out infuriating. Charming, of course, but infuriating. She highly doubted that anybody else, a guy to be exact, would have been able to persuade her to go to this pathetic dance the way he had. So what made him so different? What made him so…phenomenal?
Yes, phenomenal. That would be the word to describe him. Not magnificent, not charming, but phenomenal. Bella's heart started to race and a broad smile appeared on her face. She rested both hands on her stomach and began to laugh – a rich, booming laugh, one that seemed like it could be heard from a ten mile radius. It was the most exhilarating feeling Bella had felt in a very long time.
And then it hit her, like a bolt of lightning.
She shot up in bed, all laughter gone from her system. The skin on her face became strangely pale and for the longest moment she stared straight ahead, scarcely breathing.
It was then that she knew and oh, oh how she knew.
She realized what this was - what she was now in. She had only experienced it once but hell once was enough, because really it only takes one time to understand what an utterly deep mess you were in.
It was rather obvious now that she thought about it. Terribly, painfully obvious.
She was in love with Jasper Hale.
Bella closed her eyes and allowed a single explicit curse to escape her lips.
"Fuck."
I look like a freaking turnip.
Bella stared at herself in the mirror, not particularly liking what she saw. It wasn't that she didn't like the dress…she did, really. It was more the fact that she was in the dress that caused her to cringe inwardly at her reflection.
She had on a strapless dark red dress that swept past her ankles and onto the floor. It was sleek and absolutely stunning, and it fit her just right. Around her waist was a black ribbon tied in a small bow behind her back. Her long brown hair was down and framing her face, which was touched with just the right amount of make-up. Bella tilted her head to the side and sighed.
Angela walked in the room and gasped when she saw Bella.
"Oh, my God! Bella, you look amazing."
Bella flicked a glance over her shoulder and smiled at her. "You think so?"
"Of course I do! You look like a total princess. I knew you'd look fabulous in that dress."
"I don't know," Bella said skeptically, turning away from the mirror to stare uncertainly at her friend. "Is it too much?"
"No way," Angela replied, shaking her head. "It's perfect, don't worry. Your date is going to flip a shit."
Bella turned her head away, her cheeks flushing with color.
Angela noticed and immediately raised an eyebrow. "Who is your date?" she questioned, her brown eyes sparkling curiously behind her dark rimmed glasses.
"Um…" Bella trailed off hesitantly, not sure whether or not she should spill the beans. Even though Angela was a friend of Jessica's Bella doubted that Angela was the kind of person who would rat her out. Besides, it was the night of the dance; Jessica was bound to find out eventually. Eventually, being tonight.
"I'm going with Jasper Hale," Bella said at last, glancing up at Angela with a slight smile.
Angela stared at her in amazement. "Oh…wow. Seriously? He asked you?"
"Well, we've sort of been talking for a while," Bella explained, smoothing her dress out nervously. "He works at my Dad's ranch."
"Are you guys dating?" Angela asked her expression one of surprise.
"Oh, no, definitely not," Bella stated quickly, her cheeks turning redder by the second. "I'm not really interested in dating anyone at the moment."
"Why not?" Angela probed.
What's with the twenty questions? Bella thought, becoming a tad bit annoyed. Shrugging, she turned away and gazed thoughtfully at her reflection.
"I don't really plan on hanging around…you know, after graduation," Bella murmured, biting down gently on her lip. "I mean, what's the point of committing to a relationship when I plan on leaving?"
"I get your point," Angela remarked, nodding slowly. "But that's kind of sad, don't you think?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, needless to say you're putting your life on hold for an entire year. A lot can happen in a year…you know? And I mean, I understand that this isn't where you want to live permanently, but it's where you live now. You should try and make the most of what you have today rather than waste it while waiting for something better. Who knows, maybe you'll change your mind. Plans can change…and like I said a lot can happen in a year."
Bella blinked, thinking about what Angela had said. She was right, plans did change, but Bella had a feeling hers wasn't going to any time soon. Cody, Wyoming simply wasn't the place where she had always imagined herself to be in the long run. She was a city girl at heart, not some small town country girl. She didn't want this life.
But would that mean having to give up Jasper?
Yes, a voice in the back of her mind whispered and she began to feel tears form in the back of her eyes at the mere thought of leaving Jasper behind.
"Bella?"
Immediately snapping out of her thoughts, Bella glanced back over at Angela.
"Are you…crying?" Angela asked, her tone marked with concern.
"No, of course not," Bella said as firmly as possible, giving off a little laugh in an attempt to reassure her friend. Instead it gave the opposite effect for she sounded anxious and panicked.
"I should probably go," she hurriedly added, picking up her coat from Angela's bed and quickly slipping it on. "Thank you so much for letting me borrow the dress, I promise to return it to you tomorrow," Bella said, flashing Angela a grateful smile. She turned and grabbed her bag from Angela's desk chair, swinging it over her shoulder.
"Uh, no problem," Angela replied, confused by Bella's flustered behavior. "Glad I could help."
"I'll see you tonight at the dance!" Bella called with a parting wave.
She left Angela's place quickly, her troubling thoughts trapping her like an inescapable plague.
Two hours passed – it was seven o'clock. Bella paced back and forth in her bedroom, all dressed and ready for the dance. She stopped in front of her window and gazed down at the pretty green pastures, smiling when she caught sight of Lucky frolicking gleefully next to Sweet Thing who was grazing and couldn't care less. As she continued to watch them Bella began to calm down, although the nerves were still there, dancing plainly right underneath the surface.
Jumping slightly at the sound of the door bell ringing Bella whirled around, her heart racing unsteadily inside her chest. Oh God, he's here. Closing her eyes, she told herself to breathe. It's just Jasper. Calm down. It's only Jasper…
After about a minute Bella finally got a hold on herself and headed towards the door. The moment she opened it she heard Charlie's voice from down below.
"Hey Jasper, don't you look all nice and dandy. Going somewhere special?"
"Yes, sir. I'm taking Bella to the dance," Jasper said politely.
"Well, isn't that somethin'. You two a couple?"
Bella felt her cheeks flare up as she waited anxiously for Jasper to respond. Damn it, Charlie, you just had to ask him that. Now what's he going to say?
Her mouth immediately fell open in shock as she heard what Jasper said next.
"Not yet, sir. But I'm tryin' my best to rope her in."
Bella heard Charlie chuckle in return. "Is that so? Well, you have my blessing."
"Thank you, sir."
"Now don't you go breakin' her heart…she's been through enough," Charlie added warningly.
"In all honesty sir, I think it's my own heart that might be at risk. I've never met anyone quite like her."
"Yep, that's my Bella…hmm, I wonder what's taking her so long."
Straightening up at the sound of Charlie's approaching footsteps, Bella closed her bedroom door and quickly headed towards the stairs.
She called down, "I'm coming!"
Bella started clumsily down the steps with one hand lifting her dress and the other touching the wall to maintain her balance, mentally cursing her high heels the whole way down. With only two steps left to go Bella lifted her head to meet Jasper's waiting gaze. The moment their eyes met her heart stopped its ridiculous pounding and her entire world froze in its place.
Oh my, Bella thought. Never in all the time she had known Jasper had she ever imagined him wearing a black tux, and yet here he was wearing one. And not only that, but he was rockin' it like no other. Did he always look so dashingly handsome or was it simply the way he was staring at her? Well, whatever the case Bella's blood pressure had begun to rise and her heart resumed its furious pounding.
"Hello," Bella said faintly, taking a step down. Suddenly the bottom of her dress got caught underneath one of her heels and she stumbled forward, beginning her inevitable descent towards the ground.
Jasper was there to catch her, his strong, unfailing arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her back up onto her feet. "You all right, darlin'?" he questioned softly, brushing a strand of her hair away from her eyes.
Bella glanced up at him, amazed by his unyielding gentleness. "I'm…I'm fine," she stammered and pushed herself out of his hold. "Thank you."
"Any time," Jasper answered with a charming grin. "You ready to go?"
Bella nodded, "Yeah. Let's go."
Once she had put on her coat the two said good-bye to Charlie before heading out the door. Bella gritted her teeth as the cold blasting wind whipped against her face, reminding her of one of the many reasons why this wasn't the ideal place for her. She couldn't wait to bask in warmer weather.
Bella smiled when Jasper held the door out for her like a gentleman. She slipped inside his truck and waited for him to walk over to the driver's side. Once they were both in and the truck had started she glanced over at the dressed up cowboy and teased, "Wow, don't you look all handsome."
Jasper chuckled as he backed the truck up and turned it towards the street, "Why, thank you, Bella."
After a short moment Bella frowned and murmured softly, "Aren't you going to tell me how beautiful I look or should I just assume you think so?"
Before pulling the truck onto the road Jasper stopped and turned to look at her, his deep amber gaze piercing through her soul with an intense, burning fondness.
"Bella, you're beautiful every time I lay my eyes on you. You being all dressed up doesn't make any difference to me because every day your beauty is undeniably present no matter what you wear. If I say you look beautiful now I might as well tell you that every time I see you, at every moment. And when you smile, because that's when your beauty shines the most."
Bella was stunned. So stunned in fact that all she could do was simply stare at him.
Jasper turned back to the wheel and started driving down the road, clearly not asking for a response. Bella decided to not give him one and instead glanced out the window into the night sky, silently studying the stars.
The silence that filled the space between them was easy and comfortable and it remained so the entire way to Cody High.
Thank you everyone for all your kind reviews! I appreciate every single one. :)
Hope you enjoyed this chapter!
~LWS