The colors of Los Angeles filled the Espadas surroundings… All brilliant, vibrant and ever changing. The sun brightened the sky, the people walking by were talking and laughing.

And Aaroniero was staring. "Wow… sun… warmth…Boobs!"

Rudbornn put his face in his hands. Is all his Master could think about were the women the small bikinis?

He supposed it were so as Aaroniero was oblivious to the car that nearly ran him over a second later. Thankfully, Telsa grabbed the Fifth Espada out of the line of danger in the nick of time.

"Hey!" Telsa cried at the stunned Espada. "Snap out of it!"

"Ah…" Was all was to be heard as Aaroniero's mind had been blown to smithereens by the hot babes that walked up and down the street as if they were wearing normal clothes. "Babes…"

Telsa almost slapped him across the face. Thankfully his own master had better taste then to- "Nnoitra-sama?!" He cried, seeing him staring dreamily at some beautiful guy in a swimsuit as he walked by; while Szayel did the same, but was staring at a different man with lots of muscle, in the other direction.

"What has gotten into them?!" Telsa screamed at Rudbornn who was wishing he did not understand what was going on

"I have no clue. I suppose…" He glanced around the street corner they were standing on and did not see much insight but a lot of people. Humans sure did dress strange…"They like their outfits?"

"..Perhaps." Telsa half agreed, but he was sure there was more going on than met the eye.

"I was just kidding!" Rudbornn did not want the other Numeros to agree with him! "I know what they are staring at! And we need to bring them all back to the present moment!"

"Yeah! Right! You get that one," Telsa pointed to Aaroniero was in pure shock by the sight in front of him. "And I will get these two! Who, oddly enough, already have what they want."

"Really?" Rudbornn could not tell who Szayel and Nnoitra were staring at in the crowds of people on the sidewalk.

"Yeah!" Telsa pointed to Nnoitra, "He's looking at some girly dude and Szayel's looking at some hot hunk."
"…How do you know?"

"Because! I've been forced to serve both of them for a good forty years!"

"You don't sound so pleased about that." Rudbornn observed, walking over to his master.

"No." Telsa admitted honestly as no one would hear what he had to say. "I was picked to be Nnoitra's Fraccion. Not Nnoitra and Szayel's! Although, it isn't all that bad… but…it's a real pain when they both demand your attention at the same time. Both of them want chocolate or both of them want breakfast in bed and they are on the other ends Los Noches!"

Rudbornn stroked his chin thoughtfully. "True…"

"And so, I just do my best… And I have to say that I kinda do love both of them to an extent. They are not all that bad…but some days it is just a pain."

"How so?"

"How so?" Telsa scoffed. Who was this guy anyway? "Have you ever had a girlfriend?"

"No."

"Boyfriend?"

"No. I've never dealt in personal affairs, so I don't really see besides the fact that they sometimes make you run all over, is a pain."

Telsa let out a long sigh. "Okay… Rud…. Have you ever seen these two fight. I mean, like honestly get in a fight?"

Rudbornn shook his head.

"It's not pretty. And when they get in a fight, most of the time…and this doesn't happen that often-like once every decade or something…they break up. And…I… Little me. Have to console both parties. Saying things like, 'yeah, yeah… I am sure that Szayel didn't mean it when he called you a ************' Or, 'I am sure that Nnoitra doesn't really hate you even though he stabbed you in the neck and left you laying in the sand to die.' And then… after the consoling is done, and there are no more tissues or toilet paper in Los Notches, you get the wonderful job playing messenger. Running back and forth for days on end to deliver messages. And the hard part is escaping once you've delivered said message as the first ten are usually horribly mean and-"

"Why do you go to all this trouble?" Rudbornn see were Telsa was frustrated and for some reason, kept at it anyhow. "Why don't you just let them be?"

Telsa smiled a little as he turned to his baffled friend. "Because I care too much. Master Nnoitra is hardly happy without Szayel… and the other way around. It's really…sweet I think."

"I see…" Rudbornn nodded. Telsa really cared for the people in his life. "So, what happens after you play messenger?"

"Then…I regrow a few limbs- as after a while, it get harder to escape- and organs and then, I finally get them to talk out their problems rationally and then sending them to dinner. Usually. And everything is solved. I don't want them to be mad at each other long because if you watch them closely, I feel like they were made for one another."

"I suppose I should watch more closely…and…" Rudbornn was kind of curious of this small fact that Telsa didn't mention. "Do they know how much work you put into all of this? Do you ever get a thank you?"

"Nah…all I get in the end is a door slammed in my face. Which, I suppose is good… but… It kinda hurts you know…not to get a thanks, or 'Telsa, you're the best', after all the work I went through.. but… That's life, I suppose."

"Well…" Aaroniero's Fraccion glanced at Szayel and Nnoitra. "I think that… I'll get them to tell you thanks somehow…"

"Oh! You don't have-"

"I'm gonna. And please, don't try and stop me. I see how much you care for everyone and… Nnoitra should be grateful to you and so should Szayel."

"…Perhaps you are correct…" Telsa agreed, "And now we need to walk these three out of their daydreams."

"Good idea." Rudbornn walked over to Aaroniero and casually slapped him across the face. "Hello, welcome to real life."

"And we must get moving." Telsa told Szayel and Nnoitra as they realized that they had been starting at what they already had. "We need to find out where Yammy lives and then, start making a plan."

"Good idea." Nnoitra told him, not really pay attention to him. Instead, was grinning at Szayel who grinned back. It was so nice to have someone who understood and cared about him. "Now, buzz off Telsa and go do that…"

Telsa sighed and glanced at Rudbornn who was hot in the tail of Aaroniero who was running down the sidewalk towards the beach; determined to find himself a gal.

"Oh well…." Telsa sighed and let his shoulders droop as he walked away from Nnoitra and Szayel who were now talking about where to go on a date. "I suppose I will have to do all of the work once again…at least I have Rud…oh, wait… I don't… He ran off too… Damn…" He shuffled down the sidewalks of Los Angeles, feeling confused on what he should feel.

Upset maybe.

No… I can't be mad at them. It is my job to serve the Espada, Master Nnoitra in particular… However… I guess… I feel lonely sometimes… Telsa laughed at himself as this revelation hit him. It is like a hollow to feel lonely… so, I guess I'm just me. How funny is that?

"It's not funny!" Orihime gasped, hearing the council of the Thirteen Captians of Soul Society laughing in her face. "I demand that-"

"Inoue-san." Unohana said from where she sat in the middle of the long tables in the front of the large meeting room. Her voice calm and patience. "You will find it pleasing to serve under Kurosaki, Ichigo in the Third Division."

"Serve…under?!" Orihime continued to yell, upset over the whole idea. "Do you know why Aizen was defeated?!"

"Yes." The Captain of the First Division muttered, his old eyes meeting the young woman's. "It was all thanks to Kurosaki, Ichigo who defeated all of the Menos Grandes and the three Rouge Soul Reapers, Gin, Azien and Tosen."

Orihime closed her eyes in an attempt to keep from exploding.

So, the story seemed to have changed when it reached Soul Society… Or they just liked to think that Ichigo was their hero. Or both.

"So….You are saying that…" Orihime began, her voice wavering. "Ichigo saved all of you? And now is being offered to… become the Captain of the Third Company?"

"Yes." The Old Man said, pleased to announce the news once again. "That is correct."

"And… you want me…" Orihime pointed to herself. "To join his company as an officer? A simple officer? Not even a lieutenant?"

"No. Ishida and Chad will take Lieutenant and The Third Seat."

"Are you not pleased?" Ishida asked her where he was standing next to Chad. The three of them had been called to attend a meeting after learning that Ichigo was to be the Captain of the Third Company was an official order. "We get to all have our own company in Soul Society, Inoune-san."

"Ishida…" Orihime refrained herself. "This is hardly what I wanted."

"What do you mean?" Chad thought that she would be thrilled and over the moon at the chance to be a part of the Thirteen Court Guards.

"Because it's wrong!" She finally yelled, not caring anymore to try and be who she used to be. Being kidnapped changed her and she knew it for the better. "All of it is-"

"Silence!" Yamamoto ordered, banging his twisted wooden cane into the ground.

"No! I am not going shut the hell up! I'm gonna tell you the truth whether you like it or not! I'm the one who saved the day and I should get all of the honor I deserve! Not Ichigo! He didn't do anything, you-"

"Enough!" Yamamoto had never been so offended in his life. "I will not listen to your ramblings. Surely you are just suffering from the trauma of being kidnapped by the evil Espadas…"

Espadas? A brilliant idea struck Orihime right in the face. She could leave right now and… but she wasn't going to let these people forget who saved Karakura Town… ever. "Captain Yamamoto. I am not even going to try and explain to you what really happened in Karakura Town as no matter what I say, you will never listen. So…" She paused, wishing they were here to hear her next words, but… Whatever. "You can take your damn offer for the Third Company and shove it right up your fucking ass!"

The Thirteen Captains of the Guard and all of Orihime's old friends were struck silent.

Ishida glanced at Chad. Who taught her those words?!

I have no clue! And what is she thinking, swearing at Old Man Yamamoto?! Chad shot right back, just as shocked as the rest of them.

"I'm not finished!" Orihime stepped forwards towards the table at the end of the room. "I am the one who went deep into the Forest of Menos and gathered all of the Menos and Adjuches to save my friends who, unlike you here in happy land, appreciate me and-"

"So you didn't gather the-"

"No, Ishida! I did not gather all of the Menos to save you or Ichigo, I brought them to save the people who care and believe in me. Unlike you who always thought I was nothing but a weak little girl. Damn, even Nnoitra isn't so blind! So if you may, I am going to leave all of you to your little companies and head to Hueco Mundo where I will follow my heart and join the ranks of the Espadas. Ulquiorra?!"

He appeared at her side before anyone could move. "Yes, what do you need, Orihime?"

"It's time to leave." She announced, pleased how baffled all of the Soul Reapers were to have not noticed the Hollow in their midst before. "I am going to come home with you and you can train me to become an Espada."

"I will not object." He replied, pointing at Ishida. And is this Kurosaki?"

"No. It is not, that is Ishida. Ichigo not here right now."

"How bad. I wanted to tell him trash like himself is so stuck up, it makes Szayel look normal."

"It does." Orihime agreed, recalling a many a time that Ichigo though he was some kind of all-powerful Soul Reaper. (And sadly, everyone believed it.)

"And that, he will never see you for who really are." Ulquiorra sighed heavily and with a single finger, drew a line in the sky to open the portal leading home which Tia was keeping open for them.

"And," He turned to the panel of Soul Reapers, "If you try to follow us, I will not hesitate to destroy you."

"That is enough." Chad stepped in between the Espada and the table of now angry Captains. "I am not going to let you take Inoue-san anywhere and let you threaten the Thirteen Captains who have more respect than you."

"Respect?" Ulquiorra's face twitched a smile. "I have more of it then you will ever know. As for the Orihime here-"

"How dare you address her so casually." Ishida joined Chad, "Like he said, you have no hono-"

"That is what Inoue asked me to call her." Ulquiorra replied blankly. Not liking having these two idiots blocking his path. "And trash like yourself will never understand her. Remove yourself from my path."

Ishida frowned and drew his bow. "I'm not moving, Hollow."

Ulquiorra's eyes went wide. "Oh…A Quincy…" Szayel would love me forever if I collected this boy for this research…I could get him remove this tattoo on my neck…

"Yes. The very last one at that." Ishida proudly stated, aiming at Ulquiorra's head. "Now, out of my way and hand over Inoue-san."

"No." Ulquiorra stared at the arrow, unfazed. "But I would not mind taking you hostage. I have a friend who is very interesting in studying your kind."

"So you have a Freaky Scientist in your group as well, Hollow?"

"A Freaky Scientist? No. Completely different, Trash." Ulquiorra would never dream of comparing the lowly Soul Reaper Scientist with Szayel. "Freaky is not the word I would use to describe Granz. Sadistic may be the better term. I remember him being so upset with the Soul Reaper Scientist, over there, nabbed that old Quincy right out of his grasp…he was depressed for weeks; and may still be now, but your appearance will change all of that if you continue to stand in my way. He would be ever grateful to me to have brought him a new Quincy to dissect."

"You wouldn't dare…" Ishida muttered, hating how everyone wanted to kill him in the name of research. "Hand over Inoue-san."

"Because, we are not moving at all." Chad crossed his arms. No one go away with taking Inoue to another world. "You will have to fight us."

Ulquiorra rolled his eyes. "Other Trash… Do you not know that I am a Vasto Lorde? I would not even have to move from this very spot to defeat both of you."

"Like I-"

"Ishida, Chad." Yamamoto banged his staff on the ground. "Back down."

"With all respect-" Ishida began.

"That is an order." The Old Man clarified. "A direct order from myself."

Ishida reluctantly did as he was told and lowered his bow. "But…why?"

"Because." Hitsugaya's stern voice rose from the end of the table. "A Vasto Lorde Class Hollow is more powerful than a Captain Class Soul Reaper and we also do not need to begin a war, Ishida, Uryu."

"Then you will let me leave in peace?" Ulquiorra inquired as Chad backed down as well.

"For now, I suppose. But do not thing this is the end of our discussion." The Captain of the Tenth Division stated. "As you still have one of us held captive by your new Queen."

"True." Ulquiorra stepped into the gateway after Orihime. "And we shall all meet again to discuss these matters." With a hand gesture, he closed the door and Soul Society disappeared.

Author's Note: I'll give you two guesses who taught Orihime to swear.

(Edit: 11/3/13: One of my reviews pointed out to me it is opposite. I said here before that Szayel has no heart and Mayuri has one. But now, I realize it is completely the other way around. Szayel, as Spottedowl pointed out, has a lot more heart then Mayuri. But, Ulquiorra has no clue about this. Or hearts in general.)

Poor Aaroniero... Never seen anyone in a bathing suit have we? Nope. (And I just had to write it...) And Telsa really goes to too much work...but... he understands how important it is he put Nnoitra and Szayel back together if it is the last thing he does. Rud, on the other hand, has a lot to learn, but learns fast.

And dear Orihime... she just got sidelined. Again. And thankfully she isn't gonna stand for it any longer. And I would love to see Ichigo be the Captain of the Third Company. (Daily Postcards?)