"Do you even like me ?"
It haunted him like a 90's song on repeat. And her eyes. Blue like the deepest sea. With the deepest worry within them. If only he had answered. If only he hadn't just stood there, gaping at the young woman like some idiot. Worry didn't look right on her, not with so many bows and pink on her dress. It made her look even sadder.
It was ironic. If she had worn her dark clothes and boots, and the deep frown he knew her, she wouldn't have looked just as sad. Just more emo. But she didn't wear those anymore. She wore long dresses in so many colors it would be too long to list them all. Yellow, pink, some still black but the last time he had seen one was almost three months ago, just before the Grand Magic Games had ended and with them, the team they both belonged to.
Not that he cared that much about that team. He had his own, and, maybe they weren't perfect with their stupid interests and fights, maybe they weren't as strong and sometimes very aggravating, but they were his team. And he did kind of enjoyed having one, a real team, not just pretending bodyguards that followed him everywhere and did his every bidding.
Because that was tiring. And lonely.
They were still weird around him though, still hesitated a lot before being honest with him, before disagreeing with whatever he had said before. Apparently, that took some effort. Or maybe he hadn't quite succeeded at making himself less scary, and inaccessible.
Because apparently that was his goal now. Being less arrogant, out of reach, maybe mean was the word. And more down to earth, approachable, friendly. And god was that hard.
People had more or less deemed him inapproachable since forever, since he had gotten that scar at least. And he could get that really. He wouldn't come and spark up conversation with someone that looked like a hitman for the mob either. But he still tried.
"Do you even like me ?"
He didn't know. He felt like he didn't know her. Like she lived a million miles away, out of reach, out of perception. He didn't know what to say to her.
Maybe.
Maybe not.
It was hard to like someone that felt like a stranger.
He thought she was beautiful.
Honestly.
She always had been beautiful. He had his reservations at first, with the whole pink and bow thing. It felt so very strange. Compared to the whole black skirt and thorn shit from before, it was so very strange. Not that she didn't rock it. She looked good in anything. Probably one of the perks of true natural beauty. Or maybe it was just him, maybe she could look like a total disaster and he would still find her beautiful. Not that he would ever tell her that.
She was hot too. That he would tell. Like breathtakingly hot. There were days he wondered how anyone could go on with their day without getting their eyes glued up to her ass. And other places. It was so fucking hard. So many times he caught himself staring so hard he swore he could have carved holes into her body. But he always hid it. Didn't want to make her uncomfortable, especially since she had seemed to change her mind and forget all about him.
Until she caught him. And he tried to own it, because getting caught was one thing, but chickening out was a totally different one. And honestly, he had never seen someone getting so red so fast. Which was weird, because he'd think that after trying to bone her ass so many times, she'd at least know that he had to be staring sometimes. But no, her cheeks fired up like a poppy until the demon kicked in and before he even knew it, he was caught in some hot flirty game that somehow ended in his bed. And his couch two weeks after. Until she had to leave because of her siblings still being up and worried.
And that was it. She avoided him now. Sometimes blushed a little when she caught him glancing. But never getting back in the game. Which was weird because she was the one that had invented it. He did try to talk to her but she would always be too busy, jumpy, and fled at his mere approach. Even after another job and a good week, she still wouldn't talk to him. So, he stared. Tried to decipher what the hell could be going on in that pretty little head of hers. Tried to catch her eyes to read something in them.
They were quite expressive. Her eyes. He had always loved them. They were so blue. Fuck, that sounded stupid, but they did have that hypnotizing thing. Something about the color. And the emotions that seemed to turmoil inside. She always had been emotional. Even with her angry glare, it was still angry. Whether she cried, or screamed, or schemed, or tried to put him a facer. It was still raw. And passionate. And so very much like her. And he did like that.
Maybe that was the biggest change. Maybe the one thing that definitely wasn't like her, was the happy poker face she always seemed to have on. Honestly he didn't care about her pretending to be stupid to lure money in. She was an idealist, but she definitely wasn't stupid, or genuinely coy. Maybe that was her own way of being less threatening, so people would forget she could destroy a table just by stepping on it. And it seemed to be working. Maybe he could learn from that.
Maybe he could learn how she managed to always seem interested in whatever bullshit people blathered at her. He listened to crumbs from time to time, with his headphones still on, so nobody would suspect him overhearing. They always seemed to forget he had a dragon slayer ear anyway. And god was it boring. One day he spent an entire evening wondering how long she could take about Macao's accounting problems before throwing her own cash register at his head. But she only listened, didn't even offer any kind of advice, just nodded, and smiled, and empathized like she was genuinely caught by the problem.
Maybe she was. He didn't know anymore. He could have sworn the old Mira, if that was a decent way to call her, wouldn't have cared two pennies about his bullshit story. And up until recently, he thought it was all just an act, that she was still the same inside, just terrified of being alone again. But now he didn't know anymore.
He didn't know her anymore.
And he didn't know how to get to know her again. It wasn't like he could repeat history. Lure her back into being his friend to receive her thoughts.
"I don't know how you handle all that shit." He tried one day. As she was the wiping the glass the last chatterbox had left behind. But she only frowned at him and shrugged.
"I like hearing people's stories." She simply answered as she put the glass down and proceeded to pour him the pint he ordered.
"How ?" He smirked, he might have been a little too arrogant on that one, because she frowned even deeper. Maybe he didn't know what made her happy anymore, but he could still definitely tell when she was getting annoyed at him. "I mean, why ?"
She smiled a bit and shrugged again. "I guess I just find people interesting."
"People, maybe." It felt harder than it should to hear that coming from him, from the way she eyed him. "But not their groceries and accounting stories." He tried to chuckle, but she wouldn't let him. Just sighed and shrugged yet again, and he was the one getting annoyed at that.
"I don't know." Oh, but she knew. "I just feel like people get the most real about mundane things."
And there she went, to wait on some random that had called out, and hear all about his life. So he gave up on it and went back upstairs with his beer. It's not like she was going to wonder about him anyway.
She was too busy for that.
She always had been hardworking. Only Erza could compete with her on that front. Always so focused. Even as a broke thirteen-year-old. Especially as a broke thirteen-year-old with two other kids to look after. She used to train so hard he sometimes caught her walking home with broken ribs, actually had to make her visit Polyussica once or twice. It terrified him sometimes, how far she could get, and he wasn't the last one to exceed his limits. After the second time though, he did have to rat her out to the old man to make sure she wouldn't kill herself. But she would never stop.
Even now, in a much tranquiller life, she still refused to step down, took so few days off, she had to be forced so the old man wouldn't be arrested for violating workers' rights. Not that she would take any money for helping with the administrative work and even took care of him, which was also not on her paycheck. Not that the old man hadn't offered her to put it there several times.
But no, she was simply unstoppable. Until he tried.
"What is it you're thinking so hard about tonight ?" The old man had asked him that night, after he just came back from his job and somehow ended up having dinner with him in the house he had mostly grown up in. But he only shrugged to the question, he was annoying like that.
"Is it a girl ?"
He only received a death glare but that didn't seem to destabilize him.
"Did you have a fight with one of them recently ?"
He didn't answer but he could definitely the weight of his glare exploring the blonde's face as it sighed from desperation.
"Or is there one in particular ?" He was definitely annoying too.
"I'm fine."
He only slowed down not to finish his plate too fast, or he would be left with nothing else but to find a lie to tell.
"Well, I'm from the old school, as you've probably guessed." Nothing ever stopped him either. "But I always find that flowers work wonders with women."
He lifted an eyebrow, then.
"Except if she has pollen allergy."
He scoffed and grunted, trying to mutter again that that wasn't the problem but clearly wasn't convincing enough.
"Except if she doesn't like flowers either. Then, you should never, and I mean it, never get flowers for her then. It will only convince her that you don't care about what she wants. And believe me, you don't want that."
Someone, make it stop.
"But if she does like them, then believe me, it doesn't matter if it seems a bit too easy or cliché even for her, it's worth a try. No matter why she's mad at you…"
He did growl a bit, and sent him the most frightening glare he could get out, and planted his fork a little bit too hard into the plate, but a lot less than he had wanted to. Progress came with time.
"Alright, alright." The old man exclaimed and went back to his own plate with a loud sigh. "Solve your own problems alone, if you're such a grump." Still didn't flinch under the weight of his death glare though.
Like that was going to solve anything.
It's not like he knew if she even liked flowers.
Surely, she did, right ?
He did go back though. To the guild. Even if it was so late. Especially because it was so late. He was growing sick of the silent treatment like he was the only one guilty there. If she had changed her mind about him, then the least thing she could do was informing him so. Because he had other things to do than wonder about her demonic ways. And he would tell her. Tonight. Maybe not as an ultimatum, but just some kind of clarification in case she was confusing him with some random she could string along to lick the ground behind her.
But the guild wasn't empty. He thought it would be, but maybe that was the reason it wasn't closed yet. There were still some people getting drunk and laughing way too loudfor his liking. So he didn't jump on her immediately. Because the last thing he wanted was other people, guildmates, butting into his business and snitching to the old man about him. No, it was private matter. So, he simply settled again at the counter and ordered his evening drink. Whiskey. Stat.
She did kind of look taken aback at his view. Batted her eyes a little before fetching the bottle. Even if she already knew he was back in town.
"Weren't you supposed to have dinner with the master tonight ?" She asked while filling the glass, just a little too much, must have picked up on his mood. He shrugged.
"Please tell me you two didn't fight again." She smirked a bit, still staring at him as she counted the register of the day. How she could multitask that way, that, he would never understand.
"No."
He might have answered a bit too quickly. "He just tired me."
"Oh." She grinned. "So what ? You're going to drink your sorrows here until the earth turns around and you two magically get along again ?"
Well, at least she was still a bully.
"Well, it did work for Erza and you." She did still raise her eyebrows too. "I'm just hopeful." He added as he emptied the glass and gave her the sign to fill it again.
"Well…" She put the bottle back down. "I think whiskey had a lot more to do with that than the earth turning back on its axis."
He did chuckle at this one, or maybe he was just getting drunk. Maybe that could explain why she suddenly looked so damn hot again. Maybe he was doomed. Doomed to stare at her until his eyes fell out flat on the ground, or until she got sick of it and beat the hell out of him until he dug his way down there.
She only ignored it for now. And he wasn't hiding it. They were practically alone anyway. Just some leftover drunks that called out to her to get a refill. He did take a sip but he should too definitely slow down on the booze if he didn't want her to wipe his ass from the ground. It was her ass that desperately needed some attention.
He did like her smile too. When she greeted some of the people outside. Even if it wasn't quite the same as before. He wondered if that one he knew was gone for good. If maybe, he should have imprinted it a bit more on his mind. The joyful, genuine grin she had between two very aggressive growls. Maybe if he had known it would become so rare. Or that he wouldn't be invited anymore when it did get out.
Fuck, that sounded sad.
"All sorrows not drunk yet ?" She did take him out of his reverie. He didn't even notice when he had stopped watching.
"Nope." He did empty his glass again though. "But, maybe it could go faster if you drank them with me." He almost forgot to send a look down the hall, to assure no one had heard his bold pathetic attempt at getting a date, because that would spread around like wildfire. But there were completely alone now. So he just glared back at her.
And there it was. Not the smile but the glance. The knowing glance. The only one that indeed confirmed he wasn't completely delusional, and they were indeed something. Something more than just guildmates that occasionally joked around. And he didn't know he needed that. The annoyed, playful, demonic glare that told him he was walking on damn thin ice.
Not that he indeed gave one damn.
Until she slammed another glass just before his face, and proceeded to install herself on the stool next to him. She called his bluff, fine.
He tried to gather himself. Because, alcohol or no alcohol, he was getting kind of nervous at this development. Even avoided her glare discreetly as she calmy sipped down her own glass of whiskey and waited for his confession.
It was time.
Time for the big talk, the not so ultimatum he had to give her so this whole charade would finally end. The time to tell her he wasn't planning on following her around for the next two more years. The time to decide if they would ever be like that again. Alone. Personal. Intimate. And it was sad.
Because fuck, he didn't want it to end.
"You know, I did think about it and I don't think mundane stories are as boring as you make them out to be."
Well, maybe it didn't have to end today.
"And what's so enthralling about tomatoes, huh ?" He took a sip without getting his eyes off her pensive frown. He liked when she got lost into thoughts, she always had that little pout that could be weirdly classified as cute. She seemed a bit more natural then. To his own standards. She had stopped with the ever-staying smile and high-pitched remarks. She looked more serious, deep in whatever reflection could be going on about leeks and potatoes.
"I just think you can't ever know someone if you don't know what their everyday looks like."
He grunted in semi-approval, but he honestly hadn't really thought about it that way. He definitely knew what her day-to-day could be going on, didn't mean he had the slightest clue about who she was. Since he couldn't even tell if she would try to make him swallow the flowers whole if he ever bought her some. Knowing at what time she was doing inventory didn't change anything to it.
And even if she did like them, it didn't mean she could like any type of flowers. Didn't some women care about sorts, and colors, and meanings or stuff ? Because he didn't know anything about it. Thank god he didn't listen to the old man because that clearly sounded like some elaborate trap where you could get ghosted for getting pink roses instead of carnations, or whatever they were supposed to be called, or even the red roses. They were surely better ways to die.
Would she even kill him ? Metaphorically, nobody was talking about killing anybody here. But could she still get angry ? He felt like she could recently, during their recent intercalations, when she was drunk or particularly vexed about something. But she never felt mad. At least not like the fiery pit she used to. Maybe he was the one that wanted her to get furious. To shove him against a wall, try to get a knife below his throat, or just yell very loudly at him. And fuck, did he hate the yelling, hurt his ears like hell. But still, just to show she still cared. They were bound to fight anyway, and if he had to choose between her getting angry or cry. He knew which one he liked better.
It took him a while to notice she had stopped talking. Stared at him blankly, with worry spread all around her eyes that bore holes into his face. Fuck. He did mean to listen. Guess he just zoned out again. And she had noticed. Fuck, fuck. How stupid did he have to be ? It was only going to get harder to convince her to talk to him alone. Fuck. Stupid. Or maybe, she was going to pin it on his "fight" with his grandfather. Yes, that was his chance. He just had to make her believe he was a bit distraught about it and she would forget about his stupidness.
If only she didn't stare at him like that, didn't lift her eyebrows with that demonic glare clearly pissed off at his lack of consideration. Or maybe that was the hand on her thigh. Fuck, he hardly even noticed he had it there. Not that he took it off, chickening out and everything… It felt nice anyway. And she hadn't said anything, so maybe she didn't even notice either. Unlikely ? maybe. But she must not have been too bothered by it, or she would have said something, right ? Not that he wanted her to think he was only interested in one thing from her, because that was certainly not the case. Otherwise, he wouldn't be here making a fool of himself like that.
This whole shit was getting a bit too hard on his brain.
He saw her smirk. So maybe they were okay. She did take a breath to say something, but he didn't let her.
"Do you like flowers ?"
He kind of blurted it out. He knew it because she widened her eyes so much, they seemed bigger that he ever though they could be. And she got red. Like instantly. Good thing to know he was still doing that too. And looked down with some semi-held back chuckle. It was still hot too.
"Wh-what…?"
He did see her teeth now, so he definitely took her by surprise.
"Flowers." He tried again, never chickening out was his motto. "Do you particularly like them or not ?"
She was so red he thought she was going to explode.
"Well…" He saw her blink to get some answer out. "I do have a garden."
He almost spit his drink out.
"A what now ?"
She blinked.
"You know, like a thing to grow plants in." She was amusing him now. "I mean, it's more like a vegetable garden, really, but I do have some flowers in it."
"So, you like them ?"
She blushed again. "Well yeah… I mean, not every kind… but still."
Huh, definitely a trap then. Or maybe he should go get a look at that garden just to make sure he wasn't digging his own tomb.
"Lisanna does most of the watering too… since I don't have much time and…"
She must have thought he zoned out again, because she suddenly stopped and looked down to her glass to swallow the rest in one hit as he stared again. And god, that skin of hers did feel nice on his hand. And she still didn't seem to mind. Only gave him the glare. And fuck it was hot. But it would look even nicer on that counter if only he could gather the right timing to get her butt on it. And that back of hers. And she would stare at him with those eyes and it would just…
He had to stop. Or do something. One or the other. If only she could stop breathing so close because that was definitely wasn't helping his hard-on to slow down. Or breathe closer, either way was good. Fuck, she smelled good too. Like jasmine, and vanilla, and sweat. He couldn't explain it. But it wasn't helping. And making him a bit crazy. Like turning her over that counter and make her taste the wood kind of crazy. She did like it rough. That he knew.
And why wasn't he doing it again ?
Oh yeah, because he didn't want her to think it was the only thing that drove him here. Maybe he should just stop thinking about it. Or stop thinking at all.
Yeah, maybe that was the best option.
Option she obviously didn't consider.
He did feel her hand tremble a little when she grabbed his face to make him look straight back again to her. Even if the crash of her lips that followed didn't at all. And he didn't ask any more questions. Practically jumped on her to grip her all and finally get her on that counter that was this close to obsess him. And she probably expected it because she only threw her arms around his back to force him close and shove her tongue right into his mouth.
And the grabbing. Fuck he missed it. Hadn't changed one bit. Even grew more aggressive and restless. She was less shy, didn't hesitate before gripping his shirt to slide her hands under it. Almost bit him as he grunted, just a little. But he wasn't going to let her have her way. Almost tear her dress apart when he tried to free her chest from what was to him a terrible prison. Heard her whimper as the grasp roughed even harder on her butt and felt just how warm and restless she must have felt all this time. Or maybe that was just him.
He didn't think he had waited this long for this, but now he knew he had been this close to dying.
Fuck, even her breath was hot. And those moans. He could have killed himself right there just to get another one. Not that he needed too.
If only he could have gotten just one more before she pulled away when they were done.
She was breathing so roughly he worried for three seconds he had been too harsh. But then remembered he was pretty much in the same state and just collapsed on the stool back again to get the minimum clothes back on. Not that she cared.
She was actually even more gorgeous that way. All spread out on the counter with that long dress of hers hitched above her knees, barely even covering that her underwear was long gone with her bra that probably laid down somewhere behind the bar. Not that he minded, he always thought her breasts looked way better without any kind of incarceration. Because it was a crime at this state.
She was still panting when she looked back at him and blushed all over again at the staring. Cute, yes, but not only. With her bangs all stuck to her forehead by the sweat. And if biology wasn't against him, he might have gotten another boner just from that view. She had that smile too. The one he liked better than any other kind.
He did walk her home that night. Would have walked her way farer if she hadn't declined his invitation. Because she had to get up early and make breakfast in the morning for those dorky siblings that obviously couldn't even manage to make their own breakfast alone. Maybe he should find a way to get Ever to make Elfman get a cooking class. Lisanna would surely follow just to make fun of them the whole time, but it was an almost flawless plan. Didn't mean he couldn't be a gentleman until he found a way to enforce it.
He was even motivated to hear about whatever story she wanted, but for some reason she had gotten quite silent since she had gotten her clothes back on.
"You're okay ?" He found a way to ask a few blocks from the guild.
But she only had a sad smile when she nodded. And he didn't like that. It got him nervous, even if he couldn't think about one thing he could have done to upset her between their heated session on the counter and now. Maybe he should have offered to clean it before they took off, or maybe that was too stupid a question to be the problem at hand.
He tried to focus back on her but she still seemed determined to walk silently. And he wasn't going to engage. They had a strict share of tasks, and he wasn't the talker here. If only he had quit his idiotic thinking before they climbed the stairs to her doorway and she turned back to face him, still silent and back to trembling a little. And he knew he had to do something.
He wanted to kiss her. A lot. And grab her everywhere again. But for some reason he got afraid she might recoil at his touch. So, he settled for her cheek. Just one kiss, a bit too long to be friendly. She didn't pull away but she did stare at him awkwardly before her cheeks got red and she turned back to unlock her door as he walked back down. But he could still feel her glance when he passed the small gate.
"Laxus ?" He turned back. A little bit too fast but she didn't seem to notice.
She did look sad there. All alone in the night surrounded by the silence. Up the steps, glaring down, almost teary as their eyes met. Her voice was shaking, and it left him kind of astounded when she articulated the words that would have him spiraling for the next two weeks.
"Do you even like me ?"
Desperately.
"Do you even like me ?"
But fuck, was that hard.
"Do you even like me ?"
Because if she could ask that. Then maybe it was doomed. Maybe it wasn't even worth trying.
"Do you even like me ?"
Or maybe he was just going crazy.
Thanks for reading ! Please leave a comment, so I dont spiral in self-flagellation too.