Chapter 12

Jarrod Barkley stepped off the train. He was tired from his journey and so glad to be home. He had been in San Francisco for a few weeks taking care of his law practice and was looking forward to a good meal and a soft bed at the ranch. He loved his house in San Francisco but there was a special feeling about returning to the home of his youth. He glanced over to the office he kept here in town but decided he would just go home. It was Saturday and tomorrow was a day for family. He had missed them all so much. He looked down the street and was relieved to see the carriage from the ranch. He expected one of the hands had been sent to pick him up but was pleasantly surprised when he reached his destination.

"Brother Heath?" Jarrod was pleased to see his younger brother.

"Howdy, Jarrod." Heath grinned at his oldest brother.

"What brings you out this afternoon? I hope Nick realizes you are here; it is a 'working ranch' after all!" Jarrod looked at his brother with a twinkle in his eye.

Heath had to laugh. "I wanted to talk to you before you got home."

Jarrod threw his valise in the back and looked at Heath. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"No, I think this conversation is better in private." Heath replied.

Jarrod got in the carriage and Heath started driving towards the ranch. "What's bothering you, Heath?"

Heath kept driving. Thinking carefully about what he wanted to say. "It's Rhianna. She's changed."

"How so?" Jarrod was curious.

"She's totally withdrawn, Jarrod. She won't even look at Nick. He says they didn't have a fight, but I don't think she's spoken to him much since Christmas. Something's happened between them. She looks exhausted."

"How's Nick taking that?" Jarrod wondered.

"He hasn't said anything, but he's worried. He snaps at everybody and watches her like a hawk, though he hasn't challenged her. She's hardly spoken to anyone since Christmas night." Heath said, worried.

"He's in love with her." Jarrod remarked looking at Heath closely.

Jarrod wasn't surprised when Heath nodded his head. His two younger brothers seemed to be able to read each other's minds at times. He put his head back and thought about Nick and Rhianna all the way back to the ranch.

~Big Valley~

Nick looked out to the horizon. He loved being on the north ridge. He loved looking over the land and marveling at the beauty. He knew most people thought he only cared about the business end of the ranch, but he had another side. He loved being outdoors and seeing the world God created. He felt a peace and contentment there that was fleeting in other places.

These days his thoughts were troubled. He was watching Rhianna slowly slip away. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know if he should do anything at all. As he mulled over the possibilities, he heard a sound behind him.

"Jack! What are you doing up here?" Nick was surprised to see him.

"I thought you might be here. I need to talk to you." Jack was determined.

Nick looked at Jack. He looked uneasy; he must have something weighing on his mind. "Sure, Jack. What's on your mind?"

Rhianna." Jack spoke her name carefully.

Nick took off his hat and started fussing with it. After a heavy sigh, he put his hat back on and said, "Yeah, me too."

"Nick, I know Kathleen told you about Katie; that she died." Jack began somewhat tentatively although he was resolved Nick would hear him out, no matter what.

Nick looked at Jack incredulously. "Died? I don't think it comes close to describing what really happened to her."

"You know what happened to Katie? How? Who told you?" Jack was confused.

"Rhianna."

"Really?" Jack was astounded.

Nick nodded and Jack looked at Nick appraisingly. This changed everything. Maybe…"Nick, I need to tell you something."

"Yeah?" Nick looked at his ranch hand and waited for him to speak his mind. Nick could tell Jack had a lot to say.

Jack spoke deliberately, weighing every word. "She's never grieved for Katie. She's never cried or truly grieved her death. She doesn't talk about her."

Nick looked at the ground and nodded his head. "I'm sure she doesn't like talking about her often. I can understand."

"No, Nick. When I say she doesn't talk about her; I don't mean she doesn't talk about her often. She doesn't talk about her. Ever. I don't think she's mentioned her name once since it happened." Jack paused and then said sadly, "It's as if she never existed."

Nick snapped his head up and stared at Jack with disbelief. "What did she do?" Nick wanted to understand Rhianna.

Jack looked to the horizon before continuing. He remembered that night as if it were yesterday. After a few moments he looked at the ground before continuing sadly. "Galen came riding in to camp and told me what had happened. We went to her tent and she was waiting for us. It was as if she already knew. He told her and she just took it in silently. From that day on, she was focused only on our mission. She gave orders, planned strategies, took care of the army, of the family; she never let up."

Nick admitted, "She told me she already knew when Galen told her. I don't know whether or not to push her; she seems to be slipping away."

"I know. Let's get your family together and talk about it. Maybe we can all come up with a solution." Jack suggested.

"Good idea, Jarrod's home tonight," Nick replied.

~Big Valley~

After dinner, the family retired to the billiard room as usual for drinks, conversation, and, perhaps, a game or two. Jarrod was truly shocked to see Rhianna. She did look tired, but it was the look in her eyes bothering him the most. She used to be full of life and now her eyes looked dead, as if she were just going through the motions of living.

As the Barkleys talked with each other, Rhianna sat lost in thought. Audra was talking about the ball being held at the Barkley's in a couple of weeks.

"Mother, I think it will be wonderful! The orphanage really needs supplies and new clothing for the children. Father Liam says he will attend and is hopeful for a good turnout."

Audra looked over at a silent Rhianna. She and Rhianna had become good friends and she was as worried about her as everyone else. "Father Liam says Rhianna is a wonderful dancer. I remember when Father taught me to dance! I thought I was so special."

"You were, Audra. Your father loved you very much." Victoria remembered when Tom had taught his only daughter to dance. It was a special time for both of them. They had lost him long before they should have and it made her sad.

"Rhianna, who taught you to dance? Rhianna?" Audra tried to get Rhianna to join the conversation.

Rhianna didn't seem to hear.

"RHIANNA?!" Nick spoke loudly.

"What? I'm sorry, I wasn't listening." Rhianna was startled out of her reverie.

"Audra asked you who taught you to dance," said Jarrod quietly.

"My sisters taught me to step dance, but my brother, Keenan, taught me to waltz." Rhianna replied with a ghost of a smile.

"I was remembering my father teaching me. He was wonderful. What was your father like?"

"Da? I don't know. You would have to ask Kathleen." Rhianna had become withdrawn again. She rose and walked over to the French doors. She looked out into the night.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did he pass away before you knew him?" Audra sounded regretful. She missed her father very much.

"No, Audra. He's still living." Rhianna replied.

"Well, then why don't you know what he's like?" Audra was confused.

"Audra, it isn't really any of our business," Victoria rebuked her daughter gently.

Rhianna turned and looked at Audra. "It's all right, Mrs. Barkley. There's really nothing to tell. He cast me out of his house when my mother was killed. I've only seen him at a distance a few times."

"What do you mean cast you out?! How old were you?" Nick barked.

Rhianna answered, "He sent a message to Keenan to come and get me; he wouldn't have me in his house. If one of them didn't come and get me he would just leave me somewhere. I was five days old. Keenan sent Killian to fetch me and all of them raised me. Da won't have my name spoken in his presence and he doesn't ask about me."

Rhianna related this information simply and with little emotion. Nick could no longer keep a rein on his feelings.

"Five days old! He threw you out?! What kind of a father does that to his own daughter?! That's…that's…inhuman!"

Rhianna ignored Nick's outburst once again withdrawing into herself. "If you'll excuse me, I'm tired and I think I'll retire for the night."

As Rhianna left, Nick threw up his hands in frustration. He stalked over to the fireplace and looked into the fire.

Jack chose this moment to appear. He looked around carefully before saying, "Nick? Is Rhianna upstairs?"

"Yes, Jack. Come on in." Nick waved him into the room.

"What brings you out tonight?" Jarrod inquired.

"We need to talk about Rhianna." Jack said with conviction.

Everyone but Nick took a seat. Nick was restless and worried so he paced.

"Nick, I know you will find this hard to accept, but I think her withdrawing is a good thing," Jack began.

"Good?! How is this possibly a good thing?" Nick asked incredulously.

"Nick, I've known Rhianna all of her life. I've been with her in the army for over twenty years and I have never seen her withdraw like this." Jack started to say.

"And it's a good thing?!" Nick demanded.

"Nick! Let the man finish!" Victoria admonished.

"All right. All right." Nick calmed down slightly.

"Yes. It's the first time she's felt safe enough to do it. She's probably not sleeping and having nightmares. I'm sure she's not really eating?"

At Victoria's nod, Jack continued. "Nick, it's been good you didn't push her, but I think it's time to get her working again."

"I have an idea." Heath had been trying to think of a way to broach his idea to Nick for a long time.

"What's your idea, Heath?" Jarrod inquired.

They all listened to Heath. Nick was reluctant at first, but in the end he agreed they had to do something. As they went to bed, they all hoped the next few days would bring about a change in Rhianna.

~Big Valley~

During breakfast the next morning, Rhianna quietly spoke. "Heath, would you mind driving me to Mass?"

The Barkleys were surprised; Rhianna hadn't seemed interested in much lately.

"I'll drive you," Nick said quietly.

Rhianna looked up at Nick briefly before she nodded and withdrew again. Nick sighed in frustration. He silently asked God to give him strength.

Nick hitched up the carriage and helped Rhianna into it. She didn't say a word all the way to the orphanage. When they got there he decided to go in even though Rhianna had told him he didn't need to wait. He took a seat in the back so he could better observe. He had never been to a Catholic Mass and was impressed with the service. It was beautiful, though he didn't understand the Latin. He noted a sense of peace that came over the place. After the service, he watched closely as Rhianna walked up to a niche near the altar. She kneeled and spent long minutes in prayer before lighting a single candle. Nick could guess who it was for.

Rhianna was still quiet on the drive back to the ranch, but seemed more at peace.

After attending their own church service at their church in town, most of the family had stayed in town visiting friends. Jarrod, however, returned to the ranch. He sat alone reading in the billiard room. He was enjoying the peace and quiet with a good book when he heard it. Crashing chords. Ascending arpeggios. He went to the door and stood watching. Rhianna was playing the piano. He had heard her play Christmas Eve but didn't know how well she could really play. She was playing a Beethoven sonata: The Pathetique. Her playing was somehow different. Christmas Eve she had poured her faith and love into her music but now she was pouring her pain and sorrow into the piece. It was amazing and heartbreaking at the same time. Jarrod turned and walked away, somehow he felt like an intruder.

~Big Valley~

At the end of breakfast Monday morning, Jarrod began. "Rhianna, would you join us in the parlor? We have a proposal for you." When they were all assembled, Jarrod started.

"Rhianna, I don't know what you know about the Barkley holdings but we have many interests. We are quite diversified. We have interests in mining, lumber, cattle, produce, horses, and of course I have my law practice and Gene is on his way to a fine career in medicine."

Rhianna nodded taking in all the information Jarrod was laying out for her.

"Nick and Heath manage the ranch. They take care of the cattle and horses as well as the planting and harvesting of the crops. There are two round ups each year as well as the upkeep of the land, fences, out buildings and of course, the main house. They are very busy.

We train horses for sale. Our biggest buyer is the United States Army. Normally, Heath and a few of the hands take care of that end of the business, but we thought maybe you would be willing to help us. We have all noticed how well trained Brady is and you have a gift with horses. Would you be willing to help in the training?"

Rhianna sat and pondered all she had heard. After many long minutes she finally spoke. "What you want isn't possible."

"I told you she wouldn't be willing to help!" Nick tried to provoke her.

"It's not that I'm unwilling! It's just…" Rhianna started to defend her position.

"What?" Nick challenged.

"You Americans don't ride the same. I can train the horses, but you would have to teach the army how to ride them!" Rhianna stated.

"I told you, Jarrod! I thought she would at least be grateful to us for all we've done for her. I don't think she could do it anyway; bet she didn't even train Brady herself!" Nick knew just what to say to get under Rhianna's skin.

Rhianna was up and out of her seat in a flash. She flew over to Nick and took a defiant stance in front of him. She missed the look of satisfaction passing between Heath and Jarrod.

"Not grateful?! I never said I wouldn't help you! And I am getting tired of you suggesting I am a liar, Barkley! You want my help, fine! YOU stay out of my way. Stay away from my horses and stay the hell away from me!"

Rhianna stormed out of the room and they could hear her upstairs talking to herself as she got ready to head out to the corral. She was still really angry.

"Well, Brother Nick, you did a good job getting her angry! I only hope she uses it to her advantage, not to murder you." Jarrod remarked lightly.

Heath looked at a subdued and sad Nick. "Nick, you had to do it. You were the only one who could get her mad enough. I would stay away from the corral today, though. There are sharp implements in the barn and her aim is excellent." Heath said, understanding Nick's reaction.

~Big Valley~

Rhianna spent the day fuming in the barn. She finally mounted Brady and had a horrific time staying in the saddle. Her shoulder was still sore, but she ignored it. It took all her strength to bring him under control but it was a good afternoon. She was glad to be out and working physically. After a few hours she calmed down and thought about the morning until she figured it out. Damn him!

At dinner, Rhianna still wouldn't meet Nick's eyes. Everyone noticed she was actually eating and was more animated. Kathleen had been told about the meeting and came by to make sure things were all right. She was pleased to see Rhianna seemed to be more like her old self, though she was ignoring Nick entirely.

As the evening wore on, Audra finally screwed up the courage to ask the question she had wanted to ask but had been afraid to. "Rhianna, you are coming to the ball aren't you?"

Kathleen answered for her, "Yes, she is."

Rhianna looked up with annoyance; she really didn't want to go. The reason stood across the room looking at her with piercing hazel eyes.

Kathleen said to Rhianna in a voice that brooked no refusal, "You're going."

Rhianna sighed and looked at Audra. "I would love to attend, Audra."