"And now." Szayel climbed back into the van three hours later while Aaroniero shoved five large canisters into the trunk area behind the last row of seats. "We go home."

"And never talk about food again." Telsa muttered, still feeling sick even though he could no longer smell the horrid stench. His nose had adjusted to soon after they arrived. "Because I don't think I will be able to eat ever again."

"Agreed…" Aaroniero resisted gagging as his foot stepped into some more gush as he closed the trunk. "And we never, ever come back here."

"We won't have to, if we pull this off." Szayel told him, taking the passenger's seat. "And now, we head to Vegas and you, Natalie check out Yammy's show tonight."

"But you said that it would take months to get a seat!"

"Not unless you eat someone who has a ticket." Szayel had to admit that Aaroniero's power was rather neat. The possibilities were endless like his evolution.

"Tu…true." Aaroniero wanted to go home and take a bath in soap. The floor of the meat factory was so slick gunk, that he, Rudbornn and Telsa all slipped and crashed into one another. Soon Szayel fell into the mess while trying to help them to their feet. So they were all covered head to toe…in… they didn't even want to guess.

"And…" Szayel hated to note it, but…"You all reek."

"Thanks…." Aaroniero whispered, climbing into the driver's seat. "So do you…And out of all of this… I cannot wait to give Ned his van back. All stinky and gooey."

"Me neither…" Telsa was sure that Ned wouldn't mind the pieces of cow intestines on the floor mats at all.

"At least…" Rudbornn like to look at the bright side of life. "There is no missing lunch on the floor."

"You're right." Aaroniero stared the car and was about to reach for the stereo when Szayel changed the channel for him. "The only thing that could make this worse, would be a skunk in the car."

"And thankfully…" Rudbornn checked under his row of seats that was far, far away from Telsa who was covered head to toe. (Not that he wasn't as well, but the smell of the stuff on Telsa was nasty as he was at the bottom of the stack up.) "There is no skunk to be seen in this car."

"And the air conditioning works." Szayel cranked it to high and rolled down all of the windows. Careful not to touch Aaroniero as he leaned over the driver's seat to press the buttons. He didn't need more grimy guts on him."I know one thing though, my fellow Arrancars; no one is ever going to get this stench out of the car! Use any cleaning product you want… but it's not going to happen."

"And whoa…" Nnoitra nearly died. "What the hell happened to you and what the fuck is that stench?! It reeks! And what's worse is that I am the only one who can smell the whole disaster! It smells worse than Circci over there!"

"Yeah…" Szayel reached up with his hand and brushed some grey goop off his head that fell to the floor with a splat. "It's a long story. Involving, tripping and sliding across a floor."

"Yeah… what ever. You three. Shower, now." Nnoitra pointed to the small bathroom to the right inside the room. "And Szayel, come in here and don't touch anything! That goes for all of you! I don't want this…what is this shit?!"

"Dead poultry." Aaroniero began to step through the door when Nnoitra cried, "wait! Don't come in here! This is my room! I don't want this… gunk all over!"

"Um… Then…" Telsa began, feeling some of the goo drip off his hair onto the floor. "Can you open the other door? You know. To Aaroniero's room?"

"Yeah." The Fifth Espada didn't care that Telsa didn't use 'Lord' before his name. He just wanted to take a shower as soon as possible. "…Please?"

"Yeah!" Nnoitra cried, "Don't move! Don't breathe and don't touch anything!" He bolted over to the connecting door, thew it open and had the other hotel room door open in less than five seconds. "I am so glad no one is in the hall to see this! Now, you three! Shower now! I don't care who goes first! But you all have to stay IN the bathroom because I am not cleaning up!"

"Don't worry." Rudbornn hated to say this, but he was the only one who could do it properly. "I will clean."

"Thanks! Go shower! And Szayel, come in here and get in the shower this instant!"

"Will do." As much as Szayel liked messy experiments, this mess had to go. Besides, it wasn't meat of anything interesting. "But… do you want some?" He held out some stringy meat to Nnoitra. "It doesn't taste half bad."

"Arrg! That's…" Nnoitra couldn't find the word to describe how, "Vile! Shower!"

"I'm getting there…Um…." Szayel picked something off his pants leg and popped it in his mouth. "Not half bad as well… At least we didn't need any snacks on the way ho-"

Nnoitra grabbed his arm and dragged him inside the small bathroom. "Shower! Damn it! Shower, now! Before I shove you in there and turn on the water! And if I do that, it will be cold water!"

"Eeep…." Szayel hated the cold. "I guess… I should get-"

Nnoitra pulled aside the shower curtain. "One… Two…"

"Okay!" Szayel gave in and after trying to unbutton his shirt with slick hands, got into the shower.

"This is nasty!" Aaroniero cried, not wanting to clean up the goo beginning to clog up the drain.

"And you're the one to say that…" Telsa had gone to using the small sink to get all of the grease and ick out of his hair until it was his turn to jump in the shower. "Are you about done?"

"Hell no! I still am working on my hair!"

"Well…" Rudbornn sighed from where he was sitting on the closed toilet. "When one of you are done, please let me know."

"You don't have to wait." Telsa noted, wishing that the small bar of soap worked better on this grime. "You're sitting on a useable appliance."

For the first time in his life, Rudbornn gasped. "Telsa! I am not going to-"

"Face it, Rud. The worse has already happened to you! So, taking a head dunk in the toilet isn't going to kill you! In fact, it might be cleaner than what we slipped in and, it would do a very good job at getting the gunk off your head. And! May I point out, the only danger is if you get sucked down the loo when ya flush! Which, isn't going to happen because you are too large in size. So. You can either wait until I am done or Aaroniero is, or take a swirl."

"I'll…." Rudbornn wished he didn't have to do this….but…"Do I hold my breath?"

"I don't know!" Telsa cried, "I've never taken a swirl!"

"Then you making me take one?!"

'Because, I thought it might be better than sitting around while this stuff dries!"

"I suppose you are right…" Rudbornn sighed heavily and lifted the lid. "And… are you sure, that I wouldn't sucked into the sewers?"

"Yes. If you want." Telsa was going to keep his post at the sink if it were the last thing he would ever do. "I. Will hold. Your foot!"

"Thanks…"

"This is weird…" Aaroniero noted, hearing the toilet flush from the other side of curtain a minute later.

"But at least…" Rudbornn smiled. "I am in fact, cleaner."

"Oh great." The Fifth Espada rolled his eyes way up at the ceiling. "And don't tell me, you are going to…flush again…and… again.. And, hey! We are wasting water here! Don't-"

"Do you want me to have goop all over me for the next five years, sir?"

"Uh… No, Rudbornn. I wouldn't."

"Then, don't complain!"

"Okay! I won't! Flush all you want! It will give you a nice hair-do!"

"Speaking of which…" Telsa finally identified the brown not-goo, but not meat on the back of his left pant leg. "I think I may have slipped into some."
"AHH!" Aaaroniero and Rudbornn screamed, making Nnoitra who was standing next to the bathroom door of his own hotel room, wince.

"Nnoitra!" Szayel called over the shower. "I can't seem to get this all out…Any ideas?"

"Um…None." Nnoitra was thankful he stayed home in bed all day. "I wish I did…"

"Ah… how sad…" Szayel lamented, "because I have some gunk in my glasses of all things."

"…Ew."

Twenty minutes later, Szayel walked out of the bathroom in a robe and displeased look pasted on his face. "The grease is going to take a few more showers. At least I am not covered in grime anymore nor do I stink…so much."

"Yeah." Nnoitra was going to make him sleep on the floor tonight. "We might need to go out and get something to remedy that."

"Agreed." Szayel sat down in the chair by the window, thinking for a moment. "And since Aaroniero surely isn't cleaned up by now, I suggest that we postpone going to the show until tomorrow. And that's Monday. I love Monday. It's a wonderful day…."

"What…" Nnoitra gave him a look. "What are you going to do?"

"Ah.. I can't tell you. It's too brilliant to be shared."

"Szayel…"

"What?"

"Tell me. What you are planning."

"Ah… fine… Just help me get this last piece of gunk out of my glasses. I tried to remove it, but like a bandage, it causes my mask to hurt every time I try to-ow!"

Nnoitra held up a few strands of something, "There. Now. What is your plan?"

Author's note: I almost died of laughter this chapter. I am sorry about the bathroom humor, but it had to happen. That is all. Telsa's rant is EPIC and I am trying not to laugh as I type this. (In a public place. Great!) Anyhow, at least everyone is clean now. Ned's poor car...