i think the group scene is one of my all-time favorites. s/o to all the lovely ladies i know to whom, among other things, i owe this chapter.
this week's power playlist:
1. settle down - kimbra
2. living in a tree - priscilla ahn
3. ice cream - minnutes
nothing you recognize, etc., etc.
p.s. this is the last chapter of this story i have pre-written, so i don't know when the next update will be. i love this story, but no one seems to be reading it, so i don't feel a super strong pull to get anything done that quickly...i have another story to finish, and then i'll do my best for this one. i really appreciate those few who've reviewed - y'all rock :3
ganymede /gænǝmi:d/ n. the largest moon in our solar system; aka, a honkin' big rock.
Charlie wrinkled her nose. "Zoe, what if you tried, like, writing a letter to your mom? Don't give it to her, but use that as way to express all your frustration and stuff, and then maybe you'll be able to organize your thoughts better when you go into your family session."
Charlie sat cross-legged on the couch in Beth's office, two girls on either side of her and two in the armchairs across from her. Beth sat off to the side, occasionally sparking discussion, but mostly letting the girls talk amongst themselves. Charlie had joined the group a few weeks earlier, at Beth's urging. Beth had thought that Charlie was the right fit for the issues the girls in this group had, and thought that her elegant and gentle way of speaking would be a good play off of some of the more brash girls.
Zoe was the oldest, as a senior. Two girls named Molly and Bella were juniors, and the other two, Charlie and a girl named Lilou, were sophomores. Charlie liked giving advice, but wasn't so good yet at taking any.
"Charlie, what about your mom? Have you been talking to her about the new developments in her life?"
Charlie set her jaw, and tried not to glare at her therapist. She had no desire to talk about the changes happening rapidly in the Castle-Beckett relationship.
Her mind flashed back to two weeks ago, during Sunday dinner at the loft with her mom and the Castle family.
"Mother, would you stop scrubbing for a moment and come into the living room?" Rick had asked Martha. He, Kate, and the girls had been talking about school, while Martha had been cleaning up in the kitchen. Charlie had noticed that Rick seemed more fidgety than usual, and she got a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach.
When Martha appeared in the doorway, a puzzled expression on her face, Rick cleared his throat. "Kate," he said warmly. "We've known each other for almost four years, now. I've been infatuated with you since the very first moment my eyes met yours, but at first, it was just that - infatuation, and lust, and the desire for one more conquest. But as I got to know you, and your past, I...well, I fell in love. And if the past couple of months are to be any indication, so have you."
Charlie noticed that Rick was tearing up, and without even looking, she knew that Kate was, too.
"Beckett, you're my partner in crime. You're my very best friend, and I think you're my soulmate. You told me once that you're the 'one and done' type - and I didn't think I'd ever be, but there's no one else in the world I can imagine spending the rest of my life with. So, Katherine Alice Beckett, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife, for always?"
Charlie squeezed her eyes shut tight. Her mind reeled, and her stomach churned. She heard Alexis let out a choked gasp.
"Always, Richard Edgar Alexander Rodgers Castle. Yes," Kate squealed, very un-Kate-ishly. Charlie opened her left eye to see Castle sliding a ring with a diamond the size of Mt. Augustus onto her mother's finger.
"I have, um, one other thing to ask," Castle said, after a long "lover's embrace." Kate looked at him questioningly, as did the other three females in the room. "How would you and Charlie like to move into the loft? With Charlie going to Marlowe now, and you coming over for dinner most nights, I just think that practically it makes sense, and-"
"I'd love to!" Kate blurted out. Then her nose wrinkled, and she looked slightly ashamed. "I mean, I would love to, but I think I have to talk to Charlie and Beth about it first, because this is a lot of change for her, and she's already had so much..."
Charlie almost felt bad, because her mom sounded so upset. But then she inwardly sighed in relief, because she really had been through so much already, and she didn't really want things to change anymore.
"Charlie?" Beth's voice catapulted Charlie back into the present. "Is everything alright?"
Charlie felt her ears redden in anger and frustration. "No," she hissed.
"Sorry?" Beth questioned.
"No, Beth, everything is not okay," Charlie spat. The rest of the girls, Charlie saw out of the corner of her eye, exchanged awkward grins with each other at her outburst. "Why did you tell her it was okay to move in with them?"
Beth's voice was calm as she responded to her upset patient. "Because I believe that moving in with Rick and his family will give you some more structure that you've sorely lacked over the past few years."
"I've been doing just fine," Charlie growled.
"I don't believe that you have." Beth countered. "All summer, except for the time you spent in the Hamptons, you were alone for the majority of the day while your mother was at work. Now that you're in school, her hours are longer, and you spend most nights either alone in the apartment, or at the Castle's loft anyway. With the move, there will almost always be someone else at the loft when you're there, and you, I truly believe, will be able to have a more normal lifestyle."
"But I like being alone," Charlie argued weakly.
"Like it or not, I don't care, because it isn't healthy for you," Beth said, her voice growing more stern. "You need structure and order and routine amongst all this chaos."
"What chaos?" Bella asked shyly.
"Charlie, why don't you try to explain to the group what's been happening?" Beth prompted. When Charlie looked at her with huge, scared eyes, she added, "Whatever you feel comfortable with. You don't have to add every detail."
Charlie exhaled loudly. "Alright, well, for starters, I was adopted. Both my adoptive parents are dead, as are my two adopted older brothers. I ran away from home when my mom died, because my stepdad...hurt me, and I've been living in New York for the past ten months. About four months ago, I met my biological mom, and moved in with her while her detective squad is looking for my stepdad. There are a lot of gory details, literally, which I don't really feel like sharing, and some of them are confidential to the NYPD anyway. But my mom and her partner finally got together, and now they're getting married and my mom and I are moving from Brooklyn into his loft in Tribeca."
"Any thoughts on what Charlie just shared?" Beth asked the group, after a prolonged silence.
"Wow," said Molly, a girl of few words. That broke the tension, and all five girls giggled.
"I'm really sorry, Charlie," Lilou said, her French accent gliding thickly over the 'ch' sound.
"Thanks, Lulu," Charlie murmured.
"I think that you need to tell your mom that you're feeling out of place," Zoe said, after a moment of thought. "Like, she's probably all caught up in her own giddy shit, and not really paying attention to all the faces you make or sighs you let out."
Charlie blushed ruefully at the accurate depiction of her actions over the past week. "How'd you know?" She asked in wonderment.
"Because that's totally you," Zoe said, with complete self-assurance. "You, like, suffer in silence. And people have to be watching you constantly or they'll never know what you're thinking or feeling, because you keep everything all bottled up inside. You need to, like, ask for help, dude. Because otherwise, she's never gonna know you need it."
Beth allowed Charlie to let that soak in for a minute, and then called the group to order. "We're out of time this week, ladies, but I will see you all next Thursday!"
All the girls chit-chatted as they meandered out of the office, but Charlie lingered. Beth looked at her questioningly, and she let out a heavy sigh. "What if this turns out to be the same as last time?" She asked quietly.
Beth looked at her with affection and sympathy. "You know Rick, correct?"
Charlie nodded.
"And you like him?"
"Well, yeah, but-"
"And have you ever seen him mistreat his daughter or his mother?"
"No, but what if that's the problem? That I'm not related to him?"
Beth paused. "I'm not really sure how I can ameliorate your fears. I think this is something that needs to be dealt with, before you all move in, so why don't you ask him and your mother to come to your Monday session?"
Charlie opened her mouth to object, but Beth continued.
"I know it won't be the most fun thing you've ever done, but we just need to get this sorted out before you are put in a situation that makes you uncomfortable."
Charlie nodded, after a pause. "Will you ask? I feel weird," she pleaded.
Beth smiled. "Of course. I'll email them right now." She stood, and led Charlie to the door. "See you Monday, kiddo," she said with a warm grin.
"Bye, Beth," Charlie responded.
Charlie dragged her feet into Beth's office on Monday afternoon. Kate had gotten Captain Montgomery to give her and Rick the afternoon off so that they could pick Charlie up from school a little early and head straight to Beth's office in Soho. When Beth appeared in the doorway of her office, Charlie felt her stomach sink to her toes and her legs turn to jelly.
No one had said anything the entire ride there. Rick and Kate had each asked Charlie about her day when they picked her up, and she'd mumbled a non-committal "okay." In reality, she hadn't been able to focus on anything her teachers had said, because her nerves were like live wires, and every little movement she made set off a domino effect of sparks. She could hardly sit still, much less take notes. Thankfully, she hadn't had Chemistry, because she would've been likely to cause an explosion of some kind.
"Welcome, Rick and Kate." Charlie had robotically made her way to her regular seat on the couch, and was jolted out of her thoughts by the seemingly suddenness of Beth's voice. "I was a bit vague in my email, and I apologize, but I didn't want to give you so much information on why you've been asked to be here such that it might cause you to worry."
"Well, now I'm a bit worried," Rick quipped.
"And that's okay, because hopefully this session will allow everyone to stop worrying so much." Beth said, with a pointed look at Charlie. Charlie pleaded with her eyes for Beth to continue, and, with a small nod, she did. "Rick, how much do you know about Charlie's former home life?"
Charlie froze. What did Rick know? Had Kate told him what Brian had done to her? She felt a white-hot anger bubble up inside of her; rage and hurt and fear all combined into a tangled mass of indignance and Charlie felt bile rise in her throat.
"Not much," Rick began cautiously. Charlie waited on pins and needles for him to elaborate. "I know that her stepfather is most likely a murderer, but as to anything that he might've done to or with Charlie, I don't-" He paused, shuddering slightly. "I don't really know," was his soft conclusion.
Charlie felt a little silly, but mostly, she felt relief. Swallowing the bitter fluid, she took a deep breath in to calm herself. Rickdoesn'tknow, she thought, with no small measure of allayment at her mother's secret-keeping abilities. Not that anything was a secret, per se, but for Kate to innately realize that this was something for Charlie to share when she was ready - it meant a lot to her.
"He...he hurt me," Charlie whispered hoarsely.
Rick nodded. "I do remember you saying that when you told us you thought he was involved in Aggie and Lucy's deaths."
Charlie hoped he'd say something else, but Beth gave her a look, and she pressed on. "Yeah. Well, the thing is...I was really close with my dad," Charlie said, her voice cracking under the weight of her sorrow. "And when he died, I just...I lost everything," she murmured. "So when my mom got remarried, I was heartbroken. And I was so young that I didn't know how to convey that I was, and that I wasn't ready or okay with it. And for Brian to just...violate me in that way..."
Charlie chanced a look at Kate. Her heart sank at the sight of her mother nearly in tears. "I'm sorry," she whispered, an ashamed blush covering her cheeks.
"Charlie-"
"No, honey," Kate cut Beth off, determined to set the record straight. "This is not your fault!" She grabbed a tissue from the box on the table and dabbed her eyes. "I'm upset because I care about you, and hearing that you've been hurt makes my heart hurt, because I wish I could've been there to protect you."
"Okay," Charlie said weakly.
"Charlie, are you okay to continue?" Beth asked softly, when the girl had paused for a minute.
Charlie nodded, letting out a slow breath. "I don't know what I did to set him off," she whispered, after a pause. "Things were alright at first, I guess...I hated him, and he made me uncomfortable, but he didn't touch me. And then, one day, I saw him hit my mom. I threatened to call the police, and he threatened to kill her. So I didn't. He started hitting me, too, and things progressed from there."
Rick had been very quiet up until this point. "And you're afraid that I might do the same," he concluded.
Charlie made a choked sobbing noise. "I can't-"
He tutted softly, tears in his eyes, too. "It's okay, Charlie. I just want you to know that I love your mom like no one I've ever known, and that I think of you like my own daughter. I would never be able to hurt Alexis, and I would never be able to hurt you. I understand you being afraid, and not being able to trust me just yet, but I really hope that you can trust me enough to give me a chance to prove myself to you."
Charlie nodded, blowing her nose into the tissue Kate handed her. "Okay," she murmured thickly. "I can try."
Rick grinned, his face turning from worried and tired man into giddy little boy. "I won't let you down," he vowed, a big grin splitting his face. Charlie couldn't help but smile, too.
"You'd better not, Castle," Kate joked.
Once the air was clear, it was easier for Beth to facilitate a conversation about what the layout of the apartment would become, and explain to Charlie what the situation would be like there. Rick had purchased the loft above his many years prior, but had left it much in its original state. Alexis and Martha had bedrooms behind the stairs, where the bathroom was, and Rick had converted the largest of the upstairs rooms into his library, but the other two rooms were bland guest spaces. The bigger of the two, across from the stairs, was to be Charlie's room, and while no structural changes would be needed, there was a lot of decorating to be done - not to mention enlarging the upstairs bathroom in order to accommodate three women, as it barely accommodated the two currently using it.
They talked about moving dates - soon, because they wanted to move in together before the wedding, which was only a little over a month away. Kate and Rick had decided that they'd waited long enough, and there was too much at stake not to make best use of the time they had. Kate was a bit flustered, because she liked to have time to plan things, but Rick argued that it wouldn't be that big of a deal; just close friends and family. Rick assured Charlie that she could do her room in any way she wanted to, and that he'd foot the bill. "A pre-wedding present from me to you," he'd said.
When they left Beth's, Charlie was feeling pretty good about the whole thing. Going back to Marlowe, the trio picked up Alexis, and Rick and Kate took the girls out for fro-yo to have a chat.
"We've been thinking about the wedding," Rick started. "And the two of you are the two most important people in our lives. This wedding isn't just about the two of us," he said, placing a warm hand on top of Kate's. "It's about all of us, and becoming a family, and it only makes sense that you two join us up there when we say our vows."
Taking two cards out of his blazer pocket, he slid one across the table to Alexis, and passed the other to Kate, who did the same to Charlie. "Open them," he encouraged.
The girls shared a glance. Charlie wiped the chocolate from around her mouth and tore around the end of the envelope, while Alexis wiggled her finger under the flap. They each got out their cards, and looked at them in awe.
Charlie's said, "Will you be my Maid of Honor?"
Alexis' said, "Will you be my Best Man?"
"Read 'em," Kate urged, almost shyly.
Reading through them silently, each girl developed tears in her eyes. The cards contained heartfelt messages from parent to daughter, telling them how grateful they are to have such an amazing girl in their life, and asking the girls to stand with them as they take this next step.
"Yes," Charlie coughed out, floored by the gesture and the emotion she felt.
Alexis could only nod, and throw herself into her dad's arms.
At each of their parents' previous weddings, the girls had been reduced to flower girls. Alexis had only been eight when Gina married her father, and Charlie was ten when her mother married Brian. In those situations, they'd felt powerless and unimportant. Now, they felt like they were really being included in the making of this family.
"You'd better plan me a great bachelor party," Rick teased his daughter as they left the yogurt shop.
"Same goes for you, kid," Kate concurred to Charlie.
"I'm sure we'll think of something," Charlie answered mysteriously.
The days flew past, with wedding and interior samples going in and out daily. Rick had decided to redo his bed and bath, considering that a lady was going to be in there full time, now. Though Kate protested, she was really flattered (and, if she was being honest, relieved) that he would do all that for her. They decided to keep the dark look, but change out the black leather for brown, and add some more colors in other than just red.
Charlie was pretty much set with her space, having changed it entirely from beige and bland to neon and painfully cool. She had vintage Mylar grasscloth on the wall above her bed, a sitting area with a velvet loveseat and thrifted coffee table, and two armoires for her clothes. The part she was most excited about, however, was the door - it locked, it was soundproof, and most of all, it closed.
Kate and Rick were thrilled that Charlie had come around to the idea of living together. Even Alexis had seemed in a better mood than usual when they dropped the girls off at school. They'd taken the day off to get some plans finalized. Kate had to go in for a dress fitting - Rick had pulled some strings, and Kate had taken Charlie, Alexis, Martha, Lanie, and Maddy to the salon the previous weekend to pick out her dress. She'd ended up with a taffeta one-shoulder a-line dress, in the creamiest white, with delicate laser-cutting on the shoulder strap. The skirt was full, being taffeta, but not overly so, and Kate looked and felt like a Grecian princess. She had a silver belt for it, and was going to wear a headdress instead of a veil.
They had decided on a lot of things in the past week, and Kate's head was swimming at all of the details. The color scheme was easy enough. Rick loved black, Kate loved purple, and silver would be a nice way to add sparkle and glamour. But after that, Kate had gotten flustered. At first, she'd attempted to be as un-opinionated as possible - she should've known better.
"Flowers?"
Kate took a deep breath. "White asters and lilies. Purple gerber daisies. Silver ribbon."
Rick quirked a brow, a smirk starting to bloom on his mouth. "Why, Detective Beckett! You have an opinion on something!"
Kate flushed slightly, and slapped her fiance upside the head. "Hush. I have opinions on...other things..."
"Let's review, shall we? I asked about invitations, you said they all looked the same. I asked about gown designers, you said 'Let's just go to David's Bridal.' I asked about refreshments, you said 'Food. Open bar.'"
Rick was kidding, but Kate reddened awkwardly. "Well...I..."
His face fell. "Oh, Kate...I didn't mean it. I just want you to have the best. This is, after all, your first and only wedding - this will be my third. So it isn't about me, anymore. I want you to be happy." Rick fiddled with the side of the cuff on his shirt.
Kate pursed her lips and twitched them to the side, amused. "I know, Rick." Her eyes crinkled into half-moons as she smiled. "But, you know, I'm not trying to exclude you. Just because I've never been married before doesn't make it any less your wedding. And you didn't get much say in either of those, anyway."
"How did you know that?" Rick gasped.
Kate put on her poker face. "Just guessed. You kind of got walked all over," she said offhandedly.
Rick narrowed his eyes. "My mother told you, didn't she?"
Kate simply smiled, and Rick shook his head. "Okay, so why those flowers?"
"You should know that, Ricky," Kate crooned. "You are the writer, after all. It's because they have meaning. Remember the hybrid teas?"
"Yes, I know it's because they mean something, but what do those flowers mean to you?"
Kate flushed as she grew serious. "Asters are Alexis' birthflower. Lily is Charlie's. Daisies are yours, and I knew that gerber daisies would come in the perfect shade of purple for our color scheme. I wanted to carry all of you with me."
Rick was incredibly touched. "So, do you know what they all mean? Mother tried to teach me the flower language once, after I gave yellow roses to a girl I liked, but I never could remember."
"Well, Alexis' birthflowers are asters. They represent love, which I thought was appropriate." She grinned up at Rick. "They also mean wisdom, faith, and valor. Okay, Charlie is the lily, which is beauty, sweetness, and humility. Which we all know you could do with at least one of," she winked. Rick rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. "Anyway. Daisies." Kate looked away, and her voice got very soft. "Daisies represent innocence and playfulness, but they also are harbingers of good fortune and blissful pleasure. Daisies are...well, they're you, Castle."
"Beckett."
"Yeah?"
"Kiss me."
Kate met Rick's eyes. "Gladly."
Once they'd settled the "who has more say" debate, things got a bit easier. Rick spoke up and said he'd like to have the wedding at the library - "my first love, and my last love," he'd waxed poetic - to which Kate enthusiastically agreed. The NYPL, in her mind, was about as close to an actual castle as they'd get in the city. Plus, with neither of them being particularly religious, it made sense. And he was a writer, and she loved to read - it just worked.
Rick wanted Javi and Kevin to be his groomsmen, and Kate wanted Lanie and Madison as her maids. They prayed that their parents would get along long enough to sit through the ceremony next to each other, in front, as the parents of the couple. And while figuring out what the men would wear (black tuxes with silver ties and waistcoats) and Kate's maids (she was pretty sure Lanie had a silver dress, and she'd found a purple dress in exactly the right shade for Maddy to rent) was simple enough, it was a bit more difficult to determine what their kids would wear.
After scouring the websites of Charlie's favorite stores, Kate finally found a brocade skater dress in purple and silver that would look amazing on Charlie as a Maid of Honor dress. Pairing it with black tights and the silver woven and black velvet ankle-strap pumps Kate had found would be stunning, and appropriate for the fifteen-year old. Alexis' outfit, on the other hand, was proving to be the biggest challenge so far. They'd nixed the idea of her wearing a dress, when she'd pointed out that it would look weird and said, "Then what's the point of me being the Best Man?" But finding a suit for her to wear was trying. Then Rick said, "What about silver?" and the deed was done. Alexis would wear a silver suit with a purple pussybow blouse and black wingtip pumps to match the guys' shoes.
"What about registering?" Rick asked, after their meeting with the caterer.
"What about it?"
"You know," Rick said. "People are gonna want to give us stuff, and if we don't register, they won't know what we want."
"But we don't need anything," Kate pointed out.
"Yeah, but-" Rick paused, looking thoughtful. "But we know something that does."
Kate quirked her head. "What?"
"JHP," he answered with a smile.
Rick had pestered Kate for what seemed like ages to find out what she'd do if she ever won the lottery. When he finally figured it out, he started a nameless organization dedicated to helping kids help their communities by going to law school and becoming pro-bono attorneys like Kate's mom had been. Over the year, Kate had become more involved, and decided that she wanted to name the organization after her mother.
But all of the "Johanna's Fund" names sounded too grotesque and pushy, to her, so Rick came up with The JHP Project - The Johanna Heidi Peterson Project. Called JHP for short, their plan was to have two annual fundraisers - the JHP Jamboree in the summer, and the JHP Jubilee in the winter. But Kate didn't want Rick to pay for the first Jubilee all out of pocket, and being the first fundraiser, they had no money from the Project to cover it. They'd been trying to come up with free/inexpensive ways to fundraise for a while, but with no major results.
"Oh, Castle," Kate breathed. "That's perfect!"
"I know," he said with a smirk. "I'll email Carrie with the invitation change tonight."
He'd walked her to the salon, and kissed her goodbye as she ducked in between the massive glass double doors.
"Hey, Alexis," Charlie said, plopping down on the couch next to her almost-sister. "Can we talk for a minute?"
Alexis bookmarked her book and looked at Charlie. "Sure, I've got a free."
"Yeah, me too," Charlie said with a laugh.
"Right," Alexis said awkwardly. "You were saying?"
"I just wanted to know if you'd come up with any plans for Rick's bachelor party yet," Charlie sighed, "because I don't have any plans for Kate's thing yet and I'm seriously running low on time."
"Oh, not really," Alexis answered. "I've been busy, too."
"Well, maybe we could co-plan! I mean," Charlie amended, at Alexis' look, "we won't be doing the same stuff, but maybe we could share ideas?"
Alexis shrugged. "Sure, I guess. What did you have in mind?"
"Well, I know Kate likes artsy crap, and dancing. So I thought maybe we'd have dinner and go to the ballet? Wicked boring, I know," she sighed, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Well, dinner sounds good, but what if, instead of ballet or a play or something, you took her someplace she wouldn't normally go by herself? Like, I'm sure there are some cool gay bars or something with a drag scene that might take her a little out of her comfort zone."
Charlie bit her lip. "You think they'll let me into a bar?"
Alexis frowned. "Oh, I forgot you're not eighteen. Sorry."
"I'll keep it in mind. What about you? What does your dad like?"
"Little kid stuff, I guess - laser tag, Guitar Hero, that sort of thing."
"Oh!" Charlie squealed. "I know of this place, I forget where it is exactly, but they have an arcade and laser tag and stuff, but there's also this room with all this blow-up stuff!"
"Like, dynamite?"
Charlie laughed, shaking her head. "No, like, moonbounces and velcro walls and cage fighting with those huge q-tip things!"
Alexis grinned. "That sounds awesome!"
"I know, right? Maybe you guys could do that and then get dinner after."
"You think Ryan and Esposito and everybody would be okay with that?"
Charlie shrugged. "Ryan, definitely. Espo, probably, though he might not admit it. I don't really know any of your dad's other friends, but if he likes it, the good friends will like it too."
Alexis smiled. "Thanks, Charlie. That all sounds really cool. Sorry I couldn't help you more." she apologized.
"No worries," Charlie waved her off. "I'll figure it out."