wowza. it's been exactly three months since i last updated this story? i am so sorry it's taken so long to get this up! lots of things have been happening for/to me work- and health-wise, which is no excuse, but it is what it is. unfortunately, this chapter is fairly short, but i hope to be getting back on a more regular schedule soon! as always, thanks for reading, and nothing you recognize belongs to me.
this week's symphony of looove:
1. upside down - a*teens
2. you'll never walk alone - from carousel (doris day cover)
3. dream a little dream of me - mamas & papas
4. bridal chorus - wagner
5. falling in love at a coffee shop - landon pigg
6. like a star - corinne bailey rae
7. hello...goodbye - sean watkins
lemniscate /ˈlɛmnɪskɪt/ n. a figure-eight shaped curve (i.e. ); infinity.
"Go, Dad!" Alexis cheered, watching her dad and Javier duke it out in the Gladiator Joust. Rick had gotten Javi to wobble on his pedestal, but the detective quickly fought back, and caused the writer to topple over and land on his back, legs in the air.
"Alright, Espo!" Another cop - Union, Alexis remembered as the name on his uniform - rallied behind the opposing force. Alexis' blue eyes narrowed as she stared at him disapprovingly.
"Oh, you're going down, punk," Castle growled in a hackneyed impression of an old-timey sheriff.
"Try me, old man," Javi goaded.
Alexis averted her eyes when it appeared as though Espo was gonna knock her dad down for the third time. She went to the table where Gina and Paula were nibbling at the pizza, and pulled her phone out of her purse.
"Is Rick getting creamed in there?" Gina asked.
Alexis smirked grimly. "Unfortunately, he's not as spry as he used to be."
The blonde woman licked her lips unconsciously. "Oh, sweetie, I'm sure he's still pretty spry."
It took a second for Alexis to process, and then she buried her head in her arms. "Ew! That's disgusting!"
Paula and Gina shared a high-pitched laugh, and when Alexis finally reemerged, her face was still as red as her hair.
"All we can hope for is that he doesn't get too bruised. I've already scheduled 'paparazzi' for Saturday, and for when they land in Bora Bora." Paula's Brooklyn accent was pronounced even more than normal, and Alexis grimaced.
"Paula," she chided. "Why'd you do that?"
"If fans see that Rook and Nikki are together in real life, maybe they'll be more inclined to see them get together in the fiction," Paula reasoned. "Besides, he's been spending way too much time at home. The press misses that little shayna punim."
Alexis rolled her eyes, but grabbed a slice of pepperoni to shove in her mouth to prevent from saying anything she didn't want to, even if she really would've meant it.
Suddenly, her phone lit up, and buzzed harshly against the plastic of the tabletop.
"'Scuse me," she mumbled through a mouthful of bread and cheese, picking the phone up and holding it to her face as she walked to a dark and quiet (relatively) corner of the space.
"Charlie?" She asked. "What's wrong?"
"Everything," came the reply.
Charlie had planned it all out. First, they'd go to a show (Lysistrata Jones, which combined two of her favorite things - musicals and Greek mythology). Then, she'd treat Kate and her friends to a nice dinner at a supper-slash-night club, and they could spend the rest of the evening on the dance floor.
She'd ordered custom jelly bracelets that read "I'm with the bride" and gave the couples' names and the date of their wedding. It was the Thursday before the wedding, exactly five months since Charlie's fifteenth birthday. She had dressed meticulously, her brand new room littered with failed outfit attempts and visual signs of her frustration. She finally landed on a simple black bodycon minidress with long sleeves and a low scoopneck back. She accessorized minimally but boldly, wearing a chunky cuff bracelet with neon stones and a pair of hot lime suede wedges that picked up a color from the bracelet.
She had pulled her curls back into a loose, low bun, but in her frustration she'd tugged out the ties, so her hair fell around her shoulders as she hunched over her knees in the small stall of the bathroom at The Dalloway.
"Alexis," she whispered. "I made a terrible mistake."
"What kind of mistake?" The redhead asked.
Charlie bit her lip. The evening had started off so smoothly...Maddie seemed to really like her, and she got along well with Stegner and Karpowski already from the time she'd spent at the station over the summer. Lanie she knew, of course, and as her mom's best friend, they were kind of obligated to like each other (not that Charlie found Lanie hard to like). Ryan's wife, Jenny, had also tagged along, as a seventh member of the party, making the group numbers even for both bachelor and bachelorette.
They'd gone to the show, which had just opened on Monday, and it was good - not Les Miz or anything, but very fun and campy in a Legally Blonde or High School Musical kind of way. Charlie's face had flushed when it became obvious that one of the characters was transgender, and she cautiously peeked up and down the row to make sure no one was staring at her. She hoped that Kate didn't mind, and though everyone said they had a good time, Charlie wasn't sure if they meant it or not.
Then they went back to Tribeca, which is where all the trouble began.
"I..." Charlie trailed off uncomfortably, afraid to admit what she'd (however unintentionally) done.
Charlie had seen the new restaurant opening when she and Alexis walked to school every morning. At first, neither could tell what it was, but it soon became clear when kitchen appliances began being installed. Charlie did some digging, and asked around the jobsite after school a few weeks before she began planning for the bachelorette party. She met two women who were the co-owners, and they said it was going to be a restaurant/bar - dinner on the top floor, party down below. But she put it out of mind until she talked to Alexis about planning their various nights, and Alexis suggested a club. If they had dinner beforehand, Charlie would already be in the club when it was time to party, and thus eliminating stress about faking her way in (especially when the guest of honor was a cop).
So Charlie called up The Dalloway and made a reservation for seven at eight on Thursday night. The woman on the phone had neglected to mention a few key details when they talked about how it was a bachelorette party.
Key Detail #1: All the servers were really friendly. The waitress for the table was named Allie, and despite her tattoos, piercings, and half-shaved head, she was very sweet. A little too sweet, if you were ask Charlie. She was all over the ladies, especially Kate, and was very excited to hear about the wedding.
Key Detail #2: Thursday night was Ladies' Night, apparently, which resulted in this "friendliness" from the staff of The Dalloway. Because -
Key Detail #3: The Dalloway NYC (and many of its female employees) is capital-G Gay.
What Charlie failed to find out before making her reservation was that, though open and welcoming to everyone, The Dalloway was engineered to be a lesbian hangout spot. Ladies' Night was also Ladies-Who-Love-Ladies Night, and why Charlie was camped out in the bathroom at this moment, because since New York had passed the gay marriage bill over the summer, everyone assumed that Kate was getting married to another woman.
The detective had smoothly brushed it off, saying they lived up the street and had wanted to check out the food, but Charlie was positively mortified. She didn't want her mom to think that she was trying to gay everything up, nor did she want Kate to think that Charlie had planned to come here for that reason. Not for the first time, Charlie wished she was just normal, and that she didn't have to deal with any of this stuff.
"Charlie? Hello?" Alexis called out, alerting Charlie to the fact that she still had her cell phone clutched to her face.
"I didn't know!" She said anxiously. "I swear I didn't!"
"Know what?"
"That this was, like, a gay bar!"
"What is? The restaurant?"
"Yeah," Charlie sighed. "The one up the street that just opened."
"Oh. That's cool, though."
"No it isn't!" Charlie retorted. "Now Kate probably thinks I-"
"Charlie?" There was a soft rapping on the door. "Babe, are you in there? Can I come in?"
"I gotta go, Alexis," Charlie muttered into the phone. "I guess so," she said miserably, directing her voice at the door.
Kate poked her head through the crack between the door and the jamb, and craned her neck around to see Charlie huddled on the floor. "Hey," she whispered, coming all the way in and sitting down next to her daughter. "You okay?"
"I'm sorry," Charlie whined. "I didn't know, honest!"
"What are you sorry for?" Kate asked in bewilderment.
"For taking you all here, to this...kind of place."
"It's a nice place!" Kate said with a shrug.
"It's not! It's for...you know," Charlie said. "People like me."
"It is a nice place," Kate disagreed. "And I really wish you wouldn't talk about yourself like that. There's nothing wrong with you, Charlie."
Charlie kept quiet, not wanting to argue.
Kate sighed, running a hand over her face. "Babe..."
"I'm sorry," Charlie said quickly. "I'm ruining your party, and I don't mean to."
"Charlie, no," Kate countered. She pressed a gentle palm to Charlie's cheek and turned her daughter's head to face her. "All I wanted from tonight was to spend time with my daughter and my friends. It's perfect."
"Really?" Charlie asked, with a devastatingly hopeful look in her eyes.
"Really," Kate swore. "C'mon," she said, standing once more and brushing off the seat of her skirt. She extended a hand to Charlie. "You ready to bust a move?"
Charlie couldn't squash her grin, though she wrinkled her nose in disapproval. "You're so old," she teased.
"Yeah, I know," Kate agreed, winking at her daughter. Hand in hand, they left the bathroom, and went to rejoin the party.
The next night was the rehearsal dinner, and seeing as everyone knew how to walk in a straight line, the rehearsal portion of the evening went fairly quickly. Family and friends gathered soon after to eat, drink, and be merry - culminating in toasts and roasts and, inevitably, the demanding of smooches by the happy couple.
The clinking of glasses finally ceased as Rick wove his fingers through Kate's curls and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. Martha had started the clinking on the small makeshift stage, but she kept her place and motioned Alexis up to stand with her.
"As you all know," the actress spoke, addressing the assembled crowd of family, friends, and coworkers, "tomorrow, my son Richard is getting married - for the third time," she added as a playfully teasing aside. "Normally, this would be a time for parents to get all weepy and sentimental about their babies growing up and becoming independent adults. That ship has sailed for Richard, and I have made my peace that he will never grow up. However," she continued, above the laughter and friendly jeers, "I am feeling a tad fond about Richard tonight, and so I would like to share with you all a story."
Alexis grabbed a chair for her grandmother and pulled it onto the stage, then stood beside her with a faint, knowing smirk.
"When I was a girl, I lived on Long Island with a traveling fair. My parents were psychics, and all through the warm months we would go from town to town with the sideshow and the circus and the games and rides. I would try and get customers for my parents outside our tent. Though not a very prosperous trade, I loved my carnival family, and I missed the tight-knit atmosphere when I grew up and moved to the big city."
"The very first show I saw, at age 16, was Carousel. It reminded me so much of home, and it gave me strength when I was auditioning for bit parts and understudies. As I got more jobs, I learned many songs that touched my heart, but there was one that I always swore I would teach to my child if I had one. I used to sing this to Richard when he was a little boy, and, with accompaniment from my granddaughter, I will sing it again to him now."
Martha stood, then, and Alexis replaced her in the chair as she took out her violin and bow. Martha began to sing a lovely version of "You'll Never Walk Alone," and by the end, everyone in the audience had tears in their eyes.
"I hope, darling, that you and Kate will remember that no matter how dark the night may seem, you will always have each other by your sides. And, of course, you'll have me, and Alexis, and Charlie as well. You'll never walk alone."
Rick mouthed a "thank you" to her, and wrapped Alexis in a tight hug when she came back to her seat. But Martha stayed on stage.
"I believe we have another performance?" She questioned, looking at Charlie.
The girl blushed, but went up to the stage. Fixing her hair self-consciously, she focused her eyes on Kate.
"Um, Alexis told me a while ago that your mother used to sing to you. The reason she told me was because I was humming a song to myself that my mother sang to me. My mom told me that, when I was born, this song was on a cassette of lullabies she played for me, and this was the one she could always count on to calm me down. She didn't know why, but I always had a connection with it. One day, the tape unraveled, and she had to sing it herself. I asked her every night to sing it for me. I, um...I did some research, and it turns out that babies can sometimes remember what they hear in the womb. I think...I think you maybe sang this to me, too. So now I'm going to sing it for you."
Kate was already crying, but she began to sob when she heard Martha plink out the beginning notes to "Dream A Little Dream Of Me." Charlie's sweet voice tiptoed over the notes, and Kate felt her heart swell up with love and pride. She was on her feet the minute the song ended, and picked Charlie up and swung her around.
"That was so beautiful, baby," she whispered. "Thank you."
"I love you, Mom," Charlie murmured, grabbing her elbows around Kate's neck.
Kate kissed her cheek, tears flowing copiously. "I love you too, sweet girl."
"Charlie? Can you help me with this zipper?"
Charlie dashed over to her mother as fast as her four-inch heels would carry her, and placed steadying hands on Kate's waist. Using one hand to pinch the jeweled fabric together, she clasped the zipper between her right thumb and forefinger and tugged upwards, causing the dress to close with a satisfying slurp.
As Maid of Honor, Charlie was in charge of being Kate's designated dresser on the Big Day, and also was in charge of making sure everyone was doing their parts on time. She'd organized hangers and dressing spaces for each woman, checked up on the decorating process, and was now tasked with keeping calm for both herself and her mother.
"Oh, Mom," Charlie breathed, letting go of all other thoughts and turning Kate around so she could look at her. "You look stunning."
Kate's dress was just that. It had a simple silk-faced satin trumpet skirt that started at Kate's natural waist, skimmed over her perfect hips and flat abdomen, and flared out at the knee to pleat and puddle ever-so-slightly on the floor. The chapel train was not long at all, which was perfect for their semi-formal atmosphere. The fun part of the dress was the bodice. It was silver lace, with all the flowers studded with crystal centers. Some flowers popped off the dress, making it textured and dynamic. It had a tank top shape, with thin straps and a deep "vee" of a neckline. Then it scooped low in the back, and ended right below the ribcage.
Her hair was swept back in a messy chignon, and her rhinestone headband sat pretty far back, nestled in the pouf. Long earrings (alternating round and square diamonds ending in big opal teardrops) glittered at her shoulders, and her makeup was simple - nude, mostly, except for red lips.
Charlie tucked a curl behind her ear, and smiled up at her mom. "Are you ready? The girls are dressed and everything."
At that moment, Lanie and Madison both came over to ooh and ahh over Kate's dress. Kate blushed softly at the praise, but was thankful for a quiet knock on the door.
"Come in," Kate called, praying it was someone come to tell them it was time to go. Alexis poked her head in.
"Um, Gr-oh, wow, Kate," Alexis breathed, as in awe over the detective's appearance as everyone else. "You look...beautiful."
"Thank you," Kate demurred.
"Um, Gram asked me to bring this to you," she said, entering the room and holding a long, thin, black velvet box in her hand. "She said it was for your 'something borrowed,' if you didn't have one already. We figured your mom's ring was your 'something old,' and Dad said he got you those earrings as your 'something new,' and I know you already have your 'something blue,' so..." She trailed off, fidgeting slightly. "Anyway, here," she finished, thrusting the box at Kate.
Kate smiled at her almost-daughter. She'd gotten a blue pedicure when the girls had gotten their nails done on Wednesday - Maddie, Lanie, Kate, Charlie, Alexis, and Martha had all gone together. And her mother's ring was her 'something old,' so she opened the box and gasped. Inside was a delicate gold bracelet with five oblong opals haloed in tiny round diamonds. "Oh, Lex," she murmured. "Tell Martha it's gorgeous, really...it's perfect."
"Five opals," Charlie whispered. "One for each of us."
Kate grinned at her daughter, and pulled her and Alexis in close. "I love you girls," she said.
"Love you too," Charlie replied.
"Love you," Alexis said simply, placing a kiss on Kate's cheek and turning to leave the room. "See you soon."
"Oh, wait!" Kate called to her, grabbing an envelope off the vanity table where she'd had her hair and makeup done. "Alexis, would you give this to your dad?"
Alexis quirked an eyebrow, but nodded. "Alright," she acquiesced. Then, letter in hand, she left the room and returned to the groom's suite.
No sooner had Alexis left than the door popped open again and the officiant/librarian poked his head in. "Five minutes, ladies," he warned.
Alexis snuck in behind the officiant, laughing silently at the harried scrambling by the boys at his warning. She pulled her dad aside and slipped him the envelope.
"From Kate," she told him.
Fluffing his bowtie, Rick sat down to read the letter. He slid a finger under the flap and ripped the paper sleeve open. Inside was a thick sheath of folded note paper with a sticky note attached to the outside.
In Kate's gentle script, it read, "I didn't want to wonder - and I didn't want you to, either. I love you, Rick. xx, Kate."
Rick peeled the post-it off the front of the packet, uncreased the sheets, and began to read. It was clear from the beginning of the letter that it was from Kate's old TO, Michael Royce - Rick had to laugh at some of the funnier memories he recounted. Mostly, it was an apology letter, and a thank you to her for doing the right thing. But towards the end of the letter, Rick's eyes caught a familiar name.
"And now for the hard part, kid. Not for me, but for you. It's clear that you and Castle have something real. And you're fighting it. But trust me. Putting the job ahead of your heart is a mistake. Risking our hearts is why we're alive. The last thing you want is to look back on your life and wonder, if only."
Rick traced a finger over the words on the yellow scrap of paper, and stared at the same words that Royce had written for Kate. Rick knew that Kate had loved Royce - idolized him, worshipped him, trusted him - perhaps more like an uncle or older brother, but love nevertheless. And for her to share something so personal with him was rare, and so incredibly poignant. He fingered the ring in his pocket, savoring the feel of cool metal against his overheated thumb.
"Dad," Alexis called, jerking Rick out of his reverie. "Are you ready?"
He smiled broadly. "Absolutely."
From the moment the double doors opened at the end of the aisle, and Kate entered with her father on her arm and a bashful smile on her face, Rick was at a complete loss for words. It was a different kind of love with Gina, or even with Meredith. With Gina, it was a fiery kind of love, and spicy; like a salsa you eat that builds in intensity until you start sweating and have to take a breather before you can resume. Meredith was a roller-coaster love - a relationship built on a foundation of sand and lies and a baby, and one that was intermittently great and terrible.
But Kate...Kate was a love all her own. She was smooth, like the perfect latte (grande, with skim milk and two pumps of sugar-free vanilla syrup, if you please). And yet, sometimes it was espresso, and sometimes it was decaf passionfruit tea, and sometimes it was just a cozy hot cocoa with mini marshmallows and a thick blanket. Kate Beckett was every kind of love, and no kind of love that Rick had ever known. He'd come close to this love with Kyra Blaine, and Kelly Brennan before her - informally, and behind his back, Martha referred to Rick's condition as the KB Curse - but never, never, had Rick felt this way before.
Almost as if in a trance, Rick shook Jim's hand and gave him a hug.
"Good luck, Ricky," Jim whispered. "If she's anything like her mother, you're gonna need it." The elder man clapped Rick on the back, and went to sit at Martha's side.
Kate and Rick stared dazedly at each other as the minister spoke. They'd agreed not to exchange personal vows. The publicly given reasons were that Kate didn't want Rick to read a novel, and that Rick was afraid to embarrass Kate by comparing their writing skills. Truthfully, they felt uncomfortable baring their souls in front of so many people - and both believed that actions would speak (and had spoken) louder than words ever could.
The first recognition they had of the outside world was a strategic jab in Kate's back with both her bouquet and Charlie's own.
"I-I do," Kate said hurriedly.
"And do you, Richard Edgar Alexander Rodgers Castle, take Katherine Alice Beckett to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, for richer and for poorer, to love and to cherish for as long as you both shall live?"
Rick smiled, blue eyes meeting hazel tenderly. "Always."
"Then it is time for the exchanging of rings," the librarian announced.
Kate and Rick slid their simple silver bands onto each other's ring fingers, whispering solemnly, "With this ring, I thee wed."
"And so, by the powers vested in me by the great state of New York, it is my pleasure to pronounce you husband and wife! You may now seal your vows with a kiss."
Wasting no time at all, Kate wrapped her arms around Rick's neck, tugged him close to her, and fit her lips snugly into his. The crowd cheered, and the recessional was a blur as Rick and Kate walked down the grand marble steps amid fanfare and bubbles galore.
After seemingly endless group pictures, dinner finally began, and the newly minted Castle-Beckett clan made their way to the head table. Martha and Jim each took an end seat, while Rick and Kate took the side facing the floor with their daughters flanking them, and the maids and men took the four seats opposite. The food came mercifully quickly, and the room was misty with love and contented chatter.
Charlie and Alexis watched in awe as their parents floated around on the parquet for their first dance.
"Mom looks so alive," Charlie marveled.
"Dad looks happy, too," Alexis responded with a smile.
Both girls were surprised and a bit uncomfortable when the DJ suddenly called them to the floor for a parent-daughter dance.
"You look happy, Mom," Charlie commented quietly, nestling her head into Kate's shoulder.
"I am, kid," Kate replied. She kissed her daughter's curls, and swung the girl around the floor.
"May I cut in?" Rick and Alexis suddenly appeared beside them, and passed Alexis off to Kate as he took Charlie's hand to guide her through the steps.
"I'm glad it's you, Rick," Charlie admitted in embarrassment, staring at her shoes as they waltzed.
"Hey, Charlie," Rick started. She looked up. "Me too."
Alexis followed Kate's lead, but her eyes were trained on her father and Charlie. Charlie smiled brightly, and Rick pulled her in close, stroking her cheek. Blue eyes almost flared green in jealousy, and Alexis reflexively tightened her grip on Kate's hand.
"Whoa, Alexis," Kate winced. "Something wrong?"
Alexis shook her head, remaining mute. She loosened her hold, but inside, she was fuming. 'He's my dad!' was the refrain that looped through her mind. This meant war.