christ, you guys, i am so sorry about the delay...i kept meaning to post, but i wasn't sure how this chapter would be received. this is the beginning of the end, my friends. next chapter will be the saddest/grossest thing i have ever written, just as a warning...but as with most things, it will get better. promise! for now, enjoy the, um...november of their discontent.

rage against the playlist machine:

1. ev'rytime we say goodbye - ray charles and betty carter
2. the worst day ever - simple plan
3. keep you right - blind pilot
4. 4:35 AM - gemma hayes
5. long time traveller - the wailin' jennys

xo, ~*starophie*~

invidious /inˈvidēəs/ adj. tending to cause discontent, animosity, or envy.

Charlie flipped her head over and shook out her hair. Grains of rice spattered the floor mats of the limo, and Kate scoffed disapprovingly. Alexis glared at Charlie's back.

"Charlie," Kate admonished.

"Sorry," Charlie said, not sounding at all like she meant it. "Did you know that Marie Curie went deaf because she got rice in her ear at her wedding?"

Rick grimaced. "You couldn't have said something before?"

But he winked, and Charlie grinned at him.

"Oh, girls," Kate said, grabbing a tote bag from a shelf. "We have gifts for you."

"Ooh, I feel special," Charlie said excitedly.

"Well, not really gifts, per se," Rick amended. "Everyone else already got theirs. But yours are special."

"Books!" Kate said enthusiastically.

"Books?" Charlie frowned. Rick pouted at her, and she backpedaled. "I mean, don't get me wrong - books are great and all, but when you say presents, one would assume-"

"You know what they say when you assume," Rick scolded jokingly, wagging his finger at Charlie.

"And besides, who said presents? I said gifts," Kate teased.

"Same diff," Charlie shrugged.

"What does that mean? Same difference - it's such an oxymoron."

"What did you call me?" Charlie asked.

"Enough!" Kate called out. She handed Charlie and Alexis identical looking packages wrapped in kraft paper, with little lined cardstock library slips with their names stamped on them. Charlie ripped into hers, and though Alexis took her time, both soon enough had lovely purple leather-bound copies of Little Women in their laps. Charlie traced her finger over the large gold letters spelling out the title, and waited for Kate and Rick to explain.

"The books were the placecards," Rick began.

"Because we got married at the library." Kate added.

"Right..." Charlie prompted.

"Well, Nancy Drew was one of the first books I really enjoyed, and encouraged me to pursue mystery writing," Rick pressed on. "And because Beckett's a detective, we gave each of our fifty-six guests one of the original Nancy Drew mysteries."

"But there were really sixty people at the wedding," Kate tacked on. "The two of us, and the two of you."

"And since there were no more mysteries left-ow!"

"Not because there were no more mysteries left," Kate rolled her eyes. "But because this was one of my favorite books growing up, and because you two are our little women, we thought we'd get you this story."

"Thank you, Mom," Charlie said softly. "And you too, Rick."

"Thanks," Alexis muttered.

Rick wrapped an arm around Kate's shoulders. "You're welcome."

"We're here," the driver called from the front.

"Whoo hoo!" Rick cheered. When the door opened, he was the first to scramble out of the car. He tipped the chauffeur, and waited for his ladies before heading into the apartment building and getting ready to go to Bora Bora.

Charlie rubbed her eyes tiredly. She was glad that Rick and her mom had woken up her and Alexis so they could say goodbye, but she was not glad that they were leaving for the airport at six thirty on a Sunday morning. She yawned and pulled the cuffs of her thermal t-shirt down over her thumbs.

"Bye, girls," Rick said, kissing both of his daughters on the forehead as he picked his and Kate's suitcases up from beside the door.

"Bye, Lex," Kate murmured, grabbing a quick hug. Alexis reached around her limply and patted her back. "Bye, Martha!" Then she turned to Charlie, cupping her cheek in one hand. "Bye, baby," she whispered.

Charlie rolled her eyes, but smiled broadly. "Bye, Ma," she said, stifling another yawn.

"Have a good time, kiddos!" Martha called after them. Alexis smiled tightly as she waved them off.

"Well, darlings," Martha said, wrapping arms around both Alexis and Charlie. "What shall we do? When the cat's away, the mice will play, as they say!"

Charlie shrugged, blinking tiredly. "I don't care. What about you, Alexis?"

Alexis frowned. "I'm gonna go upstairs. I've got work to do."

As Alexis ascended the stairs, she heard Martha say, "I'm sure she's just worn out. C'mon, kiddo, you wanna watch a movie?"

"Okay, Martha," Charlie answered.

When Alexis reached the top, she paused as she heard, "It's Gram now, Charlie." Then she spun on her heel, stalked down the hall, and slammed her door behind her.

Downstairs, Charlie turned to Martha. "What's up with her?"

"I know as much as you, darling." She opened the DVD drawer. "Pick your poison. Do you want popcorn for breakfast?"

"Yes, please!" Charlie grinned. As Martha left the room, she pondered her selections.

The girls went back to school on Monday, but things did not go back to normal. Charlie would try to initiate conversation after conversation with Alexis, and would either be ignored (in the best case) or yelled at (in the worst). Rick and Kate were meant to be in Bora Bora for two weeks, but by group on Thursday, Charlie was nearly at her breaking point.

"I just don't understand," she said, biting her lip as if to swallow the crack in her voice. "Things were fine between us, and now-"

"I think I get it," said Molly. Soft-spoken and introverted, Molly rarely shared her thoughts. But when she did, everyone listened. "I mean, I'm an only child. If a new kid came into my family, and my parents started putting lots of attention on her, I'd feel pretty jealous."

"But I don't mean for them to ignore her," Charlie said weakly.

"I know," Molly nodded. "And I'm not saying they are. I'm just saying that I'd probably feel that way."

When Charlie went home, she tried to explain her revelation to Alexis. But when she knocked on the door, Alexis didn't answer. After about five minutes, Charlie gave up, and went back downstairs.

"What's up, kiddo?" Martha asked as she sashayed into the living room, which is where Charlie was moping.

"Nothing," Charlie sighed.

Martha laughed. "That was convincing. C'mon, darling, you're in a family of actors now!"

"I don't know, Gram." Charlie whispered. "I don't really feel like I belong."

"Of course you belong," Martha said, wrapping her arms tightly around Charlie's shoulders. Charlie rested her head on the soft, warm silk of Martha's dressing gown, inhaling her flowery-sweet scent. "You belong right here."

They sat like that for a while, and then Martha spoke again. "How about you pick out a movie while I order the three of us some Thai food for dinner?"

Charlie smiled feebly. "Sounds great."

"Once more, with feeling!"

Charlie tried again, plastering on her widest, toothiest grin. "Sounds great!"

"We'll keep practicing, darling," Martha said with a wink.

As the week wore on, Charlie began spending more and more of her time in her room. Martha often felt as though no one was home because of the quiet that reverberated through the apartment when both girls were upstairs.

On Saturday night, the girls got calls from their parents. They'd emailed and talked briefly, but Kate and Rick had set aside time specifically to call their daughters.

"Hey, Mom," Charlie said happily, as she picked up the call after dinner. "How are you guys? How's the beach?"

"Everything's great," Kate enthused. "The water is so blue, and we're right on the beach so we can see the ocean from our window. It's mid-70s to mid-80s all the time, and there have barely been clouds in the sky, much less rain or bad weather."

"That sounds nice," Charlie agreed. "I mean, if you like that sort of thing."

"You're so weird," Kate joked lightly. "I have never met anyone who hates the sun as much as you."

Charlie smiled, but didn't laugh. "Yeah," she murmured.

Kate noticed her tone. "What's up?"

Charlie pretended not to understand the depth of the question. "Oh, you know. School's fine, even though there was a lot of work to make up. We've been watching a lot of movies and stuff to pass the time...it's so quiet with Rick gone."

Kate laughed loudly. "Yeah, I know what you mean. You think you can't wait to get rid of him, and then-"

Charlie heard an affronted "Hey!" in the background. "Tell Rick hi for me, okay?" She said softly.

"I will, baby. I love you," she said.

"Love you too," Charlie answered. Then she ended the call.

Alexis' conversation with Rick lasted longer, but she was very clipped when he asked her about Charlie, and she spent a lot of time telling him about her various friends and their recent happenings as opposed to her own.

That night, both girls tossed and turned. Charlie had nightmares about Brian, and Alexis had nightmares about her father dying. Both girls spent Sunday lethargic and moody, and their standoff came to a head that night.

Alexis and Charlie had been avoiding each other as much as possible, but they still had to eat meals together. On Sunday afternoon, Alexis tried to change that.

"Gram, we should go out tonight," she suggested.

"Alright," Martha said agreeably. "Where would you like to go?"

"How about Mexican food? Or Indian?"

"Honey, you know Charlie doesn't like spicy food," Martha reminded gently.

"So?" Alexis sassed. "It won't kill her."

"You know the rules. Everyone has to decide on a place together," Martha answered calmly, emphasizing the last word.

Alexis rolled her eyes. "She's so difficult!"

"Go and ask her if she'd be okay with it," Martha said. "If she says yes, then I'd be happy to do that."

Alexis turned on her heel and stalked upstairs.

"I need a stiff drink," Martha muttered, walking over to the bar cart and unscrewing the cap on the gin.

She was in the process of mixing lime juice into her gimlet when she heard the screaming.

"Alexis?" Martha called upstairs, a hint of panic in her voice. "Charlie?"

"Get off me, crazy!" Alexis shrieked. Her tone was malicious, sure, but Martha detected something else in it - fear.

Dropping the shaker on the floor, she ran upstairs to the girls' bedrooms. Charlie's door was open, so she looked there first.

"Charlie!" Martha screeched, aghast at the scene. Charlie had Alexis pinned up against the wall, a forearm against her throat. Alexis had angry red scratch marks on her cheeks, and Charlie's face was completely devoid of emotion.

"Charlie!" Martha said again, approaching them slowly. "Charlie, calm down," she coaxed.

Like a frightened animal, Charlie's ears pricked up at the sound of the soothing voice, and she seemed to come back to herself. Color returned to her cheeks and light returned to her eyes. She felt like she was looking at Alexis for the first time, and when their positions finally registered in her brain, she jerked her arm back and folded in on herself.

"Alexis, are you alright?" Martha asked quietly, examining her granddaughter's face and neck.

Massaging her throat, Alexis nodded. Then she scowled at Charlie. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Martha was taken aback. "Alexis!" She scolded.

"She attacked me!" Alexis yelled.

"Did you say something to her?" Martha asked.

Alexis looked away guiltily for a moment, and then met Martha's gaze with a fiery glare of her own. "How can you take her side? She nearly choked me!"

"I'm not taking sides," said Martha, speaking slowly and calmly. "I just would like to know what happened."

"You are such a traitor," Alexis hissed harshly. Then she stalked out of the room and down the hall, slamming her own door behind her.

Feeling very, very tired, and too flustered to deal with more than one thing at a time, Martha knelt down next to Charlie and tried to get her to stop rocking.

"I'm sorry," Charlie eventually sobbed. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"I know you are, darling," Martha comforted. "I know. It wasn't your fault." Gingerly, she tugged Charlie into her arms, and used Charlie's rocking to soothe her to sleep.

An hour or so later, when Martha had gotten Charlie into bed, Alexis came downstairs, a bit more sheepish than she'd been earlier. But it didn't last.

"Alexis," Martha began. "I want to talk to you about Charlie, and why-"

Alexis huffed. "Are you seriously going to try and excuse what she did to me?"

Martha frowned, deep lines creasing her brow. "I wish you would try to be just the least bit understanding," she said with a sigh. "This isn't like you, Alexis."

"What isn't? This is me," Alexis countered.

"The Alexis I know is generous and kind and loving to everyone," Martha responded, shaking her head. "I don't know why Charlie is any different."

Alexis scoffed in disbelief. "Are you kidding?" When Martha's face remained blank, she continued. "She is taking everyone I love away from me! She is taking your love and Dad's love away from me!"

Martha looked at Alexis sadly. "Darling, the first thing you learn when you become a grandparent - or a parent, really - is that there will never be too much love in your heart."

Alexis rolled her eyes and looked away.

"No, no, look at me - you look at me!" Alexis' head snapped back, shocked. Martha had never yelled at her before. "You will always be my first grandchild. But Alexis, that does not mean that you will always be my only grandchild. And like it or not, being a grandmother is my favorite role, next to mother, and I will not shirk my grandmotherly responsibilities to Charlie just because you are jealous!"

"But you're not her grandma! You're mine!" Alexis was near tears, and she thinned her lips as she saw that Martha was already crying.

"Being her grandmother does not make me any less yours, Alexis Harper. And I will always love you, with all of my heart. But you must know - I have never been more disappointed in you than I am right now." Martha hid her face in her hands, but Alexis saw her shoulders shaking slightly. "You may go, Alexis."

Alexis knew that it wasn't an offer, and she silently walked to the front door, grabbed her coat, and left. She didn't even have the energy to wave back to Eduardo as she left the building.

She felt terrible. She'd never disappointed Gram - she'd never knowingly disappointed anyone. And she didn't know where to go. Ash was in California, her dad was on his honeymoon, and none of her friends would understand what she felt like or why she felt like she did. So she called the only other person she could think of.

"Lanie? Can I come over? I just...need to talk." Alexis took in a shaky breath as she listened to the response. "I'll grab a cab and be there in twenty. Thank you."

She was trembling as she hailed a taxi, only able to out of years of practice. It was like a muscle memory - she saw that yellow sedan and her left arm flew out automatically.

"West 145th, please," Alexis mumbled as she climbed into the back of the cab. She tilted her head back to rest on the pleather and shut her eyes.

"Miss? Miss? We are arrived," the cabbie said, startling Alexis upright. She couldn't tell if she'd actually fallen asleep or not.

"O-oh. Thank you. Erm," she blinked, shaking herself awake. "How much?" Her eyes were blurry enough that she couldn't make out the fare on the meter.

"$27.90."

Alexis pulled out a twenty, a ten, and three wrinkly singles and handed them to him through the window after getting out of the car. "Thank you," she said again. He thumbed his cap and drove away.

Lanie's building was the third on the right, Alexis remembered. The one with red brick and a green awning. There were no cars, so she jaywalked (another sin to add to the growing list) across the street and climbed up the stoop. Lanie had told her to press the button for 3b, and she'd be buzzed in. With a loud quack, the door clicked open, and Alexis let herself in to Divine Estates.

She was too out of it to be nervous about the fact that the elevator kept stalling on the way to the third floor, so it didn't really register that it took about three times as long as it should have. As she walked down the hall to 3b, the door opened.

"Detective Esposito!"

"Lexi, it's Javi. Remember?" She nodded shyly.

"I'm really sorry...I didn't mean to ruin your evening." All the guilt was piling up within her and she was about to explode. Her hands shook as she tried to force herself to calm down.

Esposito looked completely terrified. He had very little experience with emotional teenage girls, and he preferred to keep it that way. "You didn't, A. Just had to drop something off for my chica and then I was gonna hit the road."

Alexis nodded slowly, her forehead creasing in her consternation. Her head felt tight, and her vision was growing spotty. "Javi, I..."

Her voice petered out, and the detective's eyes widened. He wasn't quite sure what to do. And then the girl - his friend's daughter - began to fall to the floor. His army instincts kicked in, and he lunged for her, catching her waist in his arms. He hoisted her up, balancing her with her armpits on his right arm and the crook of her knees on his left. He walked back over to Lanie's door and started kicking.

"Lanie! Lanie!"

"What?" She was cranky until she saw the girl in his arms. "Oh my gosh, Javier...what happened?"

"She was upset, and then she fainted. I mean, I think. I'm no doctor." He looked meaningfully at her, and she shook her head.

"Oh, yeah, of course! Bring her in, baby." Lanie tugged on one of her curls, stepping aside to let Esposito pass. He looked questioningly at her, gesturing with his eyes towards the limp figure in his arms. "Just set her on the couch."

"So, tell me what happened." Lanie was in full doctor mode.

"She...she looked a little confused, and she was paler than normal, like she was sick. I think maybe she got dizzy? And then she just passed out."

Lanie thought for a moment. "I think she might be dehydrated. Will you go get her a glass of water, please?" Esposito nodded and went into the kitchen. "With a straw, Javi!"

Lanie gently pressed her thumb and forefinger into Alexis' jaw to open her mouth. Sure enough, her tongue looked swollen, and her mouth was very dry. There were also the fading stripes on her face, and some dark discoloration on her neck. And then Alexis began to gag, and her eyes fluttered open.

"Lanie? What-"

"Shh, baby. You fainted. You wanna sit up a little and drink some water?" Lanie cooed softly, helping Alexis into a sitting position as Esposito came back in with a lidded tumbler full of ice water. Alexis nodded gratefully at the detective and sipped slowly, her mouth and teeth unused to the cold liquid.

Esposito kissed Lanie goodbye and left, again. Lanie pulled Alexis' legs into her lap and waited (uncharacteristically patiently) for her to begin.

"Thanks for the water," Alexis said quietly.

"Of course, baby. You wanna tell me about the bruise on your neck? Or the scratches on your face? Or why you fainted in my hallway?"

Alexis grimaced. "I fought with Charlie."

"And she attacked you?" Lanie asked in shock.

"Yeah, but..." Alexis' voice was meek. "I kinda provoked her. I was...I don't know what came over me. I just hate her!"

"No, you don't," Lanie murmured.

Alexis was quiet for a long time before she spoke again. "What is wrong with me, Lanie?" Alexis' voice was soft, and she couldn't meet Lanie's eyes.

"Nothing's wrong with you, honey. What is this whole thing about?"

"I'm so...I don't even know! I'm so mad at Charlie. She's ruining everything."

"Like what?"

Alexis sighed. "Everything was perfect, before, when it was just me and Dad and Gram. Now there's Kate, and Kate's fine, but there's Charlie too, and she's taking everyone away from me!"

Lanie cocked a brow. "Now, Alexis Castle, I know you are much smarter than that. Smart enough to know that your father and grandmother, and especially Kate, love you very much."

"She's just getting so much attention," Alexis whined.

"She's been through a lot, sweetie."

Alexis' eyes flashed. "Don't you think I've been through a lot, too? Always being afraid that my dad, my only real family, isn't coming home again? Always worrying that something might happen to jeopardize the life I have? Always wondering if every morning when I say goodbye to him that it might be the last time? Lanie, I am so scared, all the time. And I got past my anger at Kate, but this is too much. If I have my dad, I want to be able to have him!"

"You don't want to share him," Lanie amended.

Alexis' face fell. "I'm a horrible person."

"Honey," Lanie crooned, stretching out the syllables. "Look at me."

Alexis lifted her eyes to meet Lanie's.

"Being jealous does not make you horrible. It makes you human. Something which, frankly, I wasn't sure if you were. You are such a good kid! And I'm sorry that I made it sound like you haven't had a lot to deal with. You have," Lanie said seriously. "But maybe, instead of taking out your anger on Charlie, you can try to feel a little empathy. You know how painful even the thought of losing your dad can be. Well, not only has Charlie had that thought, she's lived it. With her father, her brothers, and then her mother. Kate is her only family, now, and your dad and grandma are just trying to make her feel safe and wanted."

"Does it have to be at my expense, though?" Alexis said quietly.

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry." Lanie was sincere, but also nearing the end of her rope.

"I made Gram really upset."

Lanie clucked her sympathy. "I think you should go back and apologize, don't you?"

Alexis nodded, and then winced. "You think she'll accept it?"

"Of course she will! She loves you, Alexis."

"Sometimes love hurts," Alexis muttered.

Lanie helped Alexis downstairs, and flagged her down a cab. She sent her off with a kiss on the cheek and a "good luck!"

Alexis shifted her weight from foot to foot as she waited for someone to get the door. When she heard the lock click, she stood up ramrod straight. Martha looked more tired than Alexis had ever seen her, and Alexis couldn't help herself. She ran into her grandmother's arms, hugging her tightly around the neck and apologizing over and over.

Martha placed gentle kisses along Alexis' hairline, but then pulled back from the embrace. "I'm not the one you need to apologize to," she said gently.

Alexis sighed. "I know." She turned to go up the stairs, but paused. "I know in my head that you love me the same," she said softly. "But sometimes my heart's a little slow."

Martha smiled fondly. "Sometimes, mine is too."

Alexis nodded, and then climbed the steps to the second level.

"Charlie?" She knocked softly on the door, but there was no answer. Cracking it open, she looked in, only to find that Charlie was still passed out. She closed the door again gently, and went back downstairs.

"She's still asleep," Alexis said.

"Well, I'm hungry," Martha said. "Are you? I was thinking we might order in some Indian. How does that sound?"

"What about Charlie?" Alexis asked.

"I'll make her something later if she feels like it. For now, I think you and I need to catch up over some green curry and samosas."

"That would be great, Gram," Alexis agreed with a grin. Martha wrapped an arm around her shoulders and they walked in tandem to the living room, chatting all the way.

Charlie woke up with a start. It was pitch black in her room, and she looked at her watch. "Ten o'clock? I slept for six hours?"

There was a sick feeling in her stomach, and she suddenly remembered the events of the day. Her skin was on fire, her chest was tight, and she felt like she wanted to crawl out of her body and go somewhere else for a while.

Then she was struck by an idea. She didn't have to leave her body to go somewhere new - she just had to get away. As quietly as she could, she prepared her knapsack with her old clothes, a picture of her family, Norman, and some provisions she'd stored away for an emergency. Hoarding food was a trait she'd picked up under Brian's rule, because he often would deny her meals if she displeased him. It also came in handy when living in crowded spaces with a bunch of hungry teenagers, and she couldn't seem to shake it when she moved in with Kate. Now she was glad she hadn't, because she would be well off for a couple of days until she found out where the new good places to lift supplies were.

She penned a quick note to Martha saying she'd gone to school early, changed into her uniform to ward off suspicion, and waited until she was sure that everyone had gone to bed.

Around four-thirty AM, she crept downstairs, planted the note, and took off into the night.

"Mother?" Rick called out. "Alexis? Charlie?"

"Charlie? Lex? Martha?" Kate echoed her husband.

The couple had decided to cut their honeymoon short after talking to their daughters. Though they didn't say it outright, both girls sounded unhappy, and Kate and Rick felt guilty leaving Martha alone to deal with whatever was going wrong. They also weren't having the best time, given that every time they began to relax, they were immediately accosted by paparazzi.

Rick put their suitcases in their room, and was about to call again for his mother when she appeared, hair mussed and eyes tired.

"Richard," she sighed.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Charlie. Oh, Kate, I am so sorry," Martha exclaimed. "She and Alexis have been butting heads, but last night Alexis picked a fight, and I suppose Charlie was rather upset by it because she left a note saying that she'd gone to school early. I tried to call her, but her phone went straight to voicemail, and Alexis came home an hour ago saying she hadn't seen her at all."

"She might have run away again," Kate suggested, but a bad feeling knotted her stomach. "Have you talked to the station?"

"I called Captain Montgomery," Martha replied, "to ask if he'd seen Charlie - but neither he nor the other detectives have seen her at all."

Rick ran a hand through his hair. "Have you looked in her room?"

"Her school bag is gone, but not much else."

"I'm gonna go look around," Kate whispered to Rick, hoping Martha didn't hear.

Noticing Kate's awkward look as she headed for the stairs, Martha said, "Don't worry, darling, I understand. It's a mother's instinct, and being a cop makes it worse."

Kate smiled grimly. "Thank you, Martha."

She bounded up the stairs and rounded the corner to Charlie's room. At first glance, nothing was too off - bed partially made, clothes here and there, and papers littered on the desk and floor. But upon closer inspection, things that should have been there weren't - Charlie's old clothes, for one, and the picture of her family that she kept on her nightstand. After a quick inspection of the room, Kate determined that Norman, Charlie's teddy bear, was not there either.

When Kate came back downstairs, the look on her face told Rick all he needed to know. He rubbed his eyes. They'd left Tahiti at eight the previous evening, had reached Newark Liberty at two PM EST, and had gotten by on only a few hours of turbulent and stiff airplane sleep. But their seemingly endless journey home, coupled with the newfound discovery that one of their children was missing, had transformed their jetlag into glorified somnambulance.

"Castle," Kate said softly. "I'm scared. I haven't worried about her scumbag stepdad in a while, because I've always been with her or known where she'd be. But now..."

"I know," Rick agreed, his own heart beating a little bit faster. "We'll find her, Kate."

"Okay," Kate whispered.

"Okay," Rick repeated. "Let's go."

Grabbing their coats again, the partners left the loft and began their search for Charlie. Though neither voiced their fear, they both prayed they wouldn't be too late.