15th September 2013
For reasons that were seemingly beyond him, Blue had turned up at the Benedict house at bang on seven o'clock. Zed had answered the door to her and they had exchanged somewhat small pleasantries but hadn't talked much since.
The food wasn't quite ready yet so most of the family were waiting in the living room, talking amongst themselves and just generally enjoying each other's company and catching up on what they had done during the week. Zed was sat on his own but he didn't mind. He was too busy watching Blue to keep up with a conversation anyway.
She was sat on the floor in front of baby Mark who was laid on a playmat, gurgling away to himself. Gracie was sat next to Blue, talking non-stop to her and simply thrilled to have somebody new here to talk to. But if Blue minded, she didn't show it. Zed remembered Victor once mentioning that Blue used to help out with the children either at or visiting Rosewood and that was evident now: she was brilliant with children, even babies, and was laughing away with Gracie. Zed didn't think he'd ever seen her look so carefree and happy. Maybe it was something to do with children, or maybe it had something to do with the fact that children could never hurt her or constantly disappoint her, he didn't know.
As he watched her, he tried to remember the way her eyes lit up when she smiled, the tinkling sound of her laugh. He was pretty sure he had even memorized every single one of the array of freckles that were spread across the pale skin of her cheeks. He thought she was beautiful and he was shocking himself by how much he didn't want to ever stop looking at her. He had never felt this way about a girl before and it wasn't just because of the soulfinder bond that he was feeling this way, he was sure of it. It was just Blue. She was interesting and a mystery to him; a mystery he wanted to figure out.
As if feeling his eyes on her, she looked up and across the room at him. He expected her to frown or tell him to stop staring but she didn't. Instead, she looked a little confused before she smiled at him – just a small smile, not like the ones he had seen her give other people – with warmth. She turned back to Gracie, nodding her head along to whatever the girl was saying.
A grin spread across Zed's face. He knew that she had no idea how much her smiling at him had affected him. It was more than he'd ever gotten from her before so this definitely was an improvement, maybe even a step closer to them being friends. Or even more than friends in the future.
This direction of thoughts momentarily stopped when Karla called them all into the dining room because the food was ready. Being the bossy woman that she was, she told them all which seats to sit in. She looked at Zed as she said, "Blue, you sit right there in between Hazel and Zed please." She winked at Zed with a knowing smile on her face. Zed stopped moving, staring at his mother in disbelief. Did she know that Blue was his soulfinder? He thought he had been careful enough with his thoughts around her but he supposed it was possible he might have slipped up or she might have had a vision. Or could Karla simply tell that Zed was trying hard to get on Blue's good side? "Don't just stand there," she chided him. "Sit down, boy."
Zed did as he was told. Shortly after, they all started eating whilst chatting amongst themselves. Zed kept on casting sideways glances at Blue, wanting to speak to her but not knowing what to say. Deciding an apology was always the right way to go, he took a sip of his apple juice before slightly angling himself in his seat so that he was sort of facing Blue. She sensed the movement and looked at him. "I'm sorry about earlier," Zed said softly. "I shouldn't have presumed things about you like that, it wasn't very nice of me to do so. You were right: I don't know that much about you. But I really would like to. I meant what I said when I said I wanted us to be friends. I still mean it now."
Blue sighed. "Zed we tried that before, remember? And it got messed up after less than a minute or so. Maybe we're just not meant to be friends, we can't be friends with everybody we meet. I can be civil and not argue with you maybe, but I just don't see us getting close or anything."
No, we're not meant to be friends. We're meant to be more, he wanted to say but didn't. "I don't believe that," he said instead, shaking his head. "I think we could actually be close friends, we just both need to stop being so stubborn and give it a chance. Everybody deserves a second chance, don't you think?"
Blue was silent for a moment, a frown on her face. Finally she said, "I guess so... Being friends with you wouldn't kill me. But if it doesn't work out this time, I'm giving up because I really can't deal with it. It'd be too much to handle for me."
Zed wasn't quite sure what she meant by 'too much for her' but he didn't press it. Maybe he'd figure it out once he got to know her more, or maybe once they were closer he could ask her. But for now he was going to be cautious and do everything right. "I understand," he smiled. "I'm gonna make it work this time, you'll see."
"Everybody I think Victor has something to announce," Karla said, excitement in her tone. "Go on, Victor."
Victor, who was sat on the other side of Hazel so Zed couldn't see him, cleared his throat loudly. "Well um, as you all know, Hazel and I are expecting twins. We're very excited to be parents but we felt like something was missing, something that made us even more of a family. So... A few days ago I proposed to Hazel and she said yes."
Hazel pulled her hand out from under the table and held her arm out in front of her to show off the big rock on her finger. Karla squealed happily and Georgie leaned forward from the other side of the table to get a closer look at the ring. "Oh it's beautiful!" She grinned. "Congratulations, guys."
Before the rest of the family could also congratulate the happy couple, Uriel stood up. The loud scrape of his chair being pushed back silenced them all and got all of their attention. They all waited with baited breath, hoping Uriel would at least pretend to be happy for them like he had when they announced the pregnancy.
But Uriel didn't look happy, he looked furious. Sensing an argument, Trace quickly stood up with baby Mark in his arms and Georgie copied him, grabbing Gracie's arm. They left the room, not wanting the children to be in the room when it all exploded.
"Really?!" Uriel exclaimed as soon as the door shut behind them, directing his words towards Victor as he glared at him. "Are you serious, Vick?! You've never wanted to get married, you always said it was stupid that people needed a certificate and a ring to prove their love. You know that it was me that always dreamed of having kids and getting married, having my own family. It was bad enough that you stole my girlfriend – which, by the way, I'm still not over no matter how hard I try – but now you're stealing the life that I always wanted!"
"Uriel," Saul said in a warning tone.
Uriel ignored him and continued. "It's not fair! I have to see you with the girl I love all the time and I have to pretend that I'm happy because I want to be happy for you both, I do. I want you both to happy. It's difficult on an ordinary day and now I have to have the constant reminder that you're going to get married too?"
"Uriel," Hazel said. Zed could tell even without looking at her that was crying simply from how broken her voice sounded. "We're sorry, Uri. You know that we never intended to hurt you. Please, I don't like seeing you like this-"
"Shut up, Hazel! Just shut up. You have no right to say those things to me anymore, be quiet!"
"HEY!" Victor shouted angrily. "Don't you dare talk to her like that. I am sorry that you are hurting, but this is not our fault. We didn't choose to be soulfinders, we didn't choose to fall in love. It just happened. The last thing we wanted was for you to be hurt. If you remember correctly, Hazel went back to London and we thought we'd never see each other again, just so that you wouldn't be hurt. But you're the one that told me to go after her, you're the one that told us to be together."
"Because I couldn't stand the thought of being the reason my brother couldn't be with his soulfinder!" Uriel had tears streaming down his face now and his body was shaking with emotion. This had all finally become too much for him to handle and he was slipping; the only way for him not to have a breakdown was for his soulfinder to turn up but so far it didn't look like that was happening any time soon. "You know what, congratulations. Really, I'm thrilled for you both," sarcasm dripped from his voice. "I hope you have a great day, whatever day you decide to get married. But just know that I won't be there. I cannot be at the wedding, seeing her say 'I do' to a man that isn't me. I'm not doing it."
"He's your brother," Will said. "You can't just not go to his wedding."
Zed looked over at Blue and saw that she looked like a deer caught in headlights, not knowing what to do in the situation. He rose to his feet and gently pulled Blue out of her seat, gesturing for her to follow him as Uriel started shouting again.
Sat on the edge of his bed, Zed watched as Blue stood in front of the fish tank and stared at the fish for five minutes as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. Finally, she turned around and said, "Victor never told me he stole your brother's girlfriend."
"It's not as straight forward as that," he replied. "Uriel dated Hazel in university and they got back together when she came over here to be your dad's lawyer. Hazel and Vick realised they were soulfinders but she chose to stay with Uriel. Eventually though, it was just too hard. She never cheated on Uriel and Victor only started dating her because Uriel told him to go for it."
Blue sat down next to him with a thoughtful expression on her face. "If Uriel told them to be together, why is he acting like this? Surely he must have known this would eventually happen."
"Well yeah, but I think a part of him thought that it'd be a while before it happened. I think he was hoping he would have found his soulfinder by then. He knows that Victor and Hazel haven't done anything wrong, but he's still in love with her. I've never been in love so I don't have first-hand experience but I think it could make people do crazy things. Just think about your aunt, all the things she did because she loved your mother. It's a different type of love but it still works as an example."
"That's why I never want to fall in love," she said matter-of-factly. "Every time I've seen somebody in love, it hasn't turned out well. My parents, my mum and her sister, Victor and Uriel. They're brothers, they shouldn't be like this, but they are because they both love the same girl."
"Love isn't always like that. What if you found your soulfinder? Wouldn't you want to know? Wouldn't you want to fall in love with him and be happy with him like you're destined to be?"
She shook her head. "I don't believe in fate and destiny. I hate how people say that soulfinders are meant to be together, like we don't even have a choice. Sure it's great to have a soulmate, but it'd be better if you fell in love with that person without knowing you're soulfinders because then it's your heart that made the choice. You wouldn't feel pressured into it. I doubt I'll ever find my soulfinder but if I do... I'd rather fall in love before I knew that he was my soulfinder. But I'd still be terrified all the time of everything falling apart. Of having my heart broken."
Zed had kind of been having regrets of not telling her the truth about them being soulfinders but now he was suddenly glad that he hadn't. He'd just realised that he had more of a chance with her now, when she didn't yet know about their connection. Choosing his words carefully, he said, "I think if you're soulfinder ever broke your heart, he would be a complete idiot. But truthfully I don't think he ever would, he'd realise how lucky he was and he wouldn't ever let you go."
Blue smiled. "Thanks, Zed. Look, I should probably go. This is, you know, a family issue. Plus I have a ton of homework to get through."
"Okay," he nodded and stood up with her. "Blue, would you like to do something tomorrow? It's teacher training day so school's out. I was thinking maybe we could go skiing, start working on becoming actual friends."
She hesitated for a moment before saying, "I don't know how to ski. I've never been on the slopes."
"You've lived in Wrickenridge your whole life and you've never been on the slopes?" He laughed. "Wow, we have got to change that. We're definitely going skiing tomorrow."
She laughed a little and nodded her head. "Okay. But it'll have to be in the afternoon, I have to be somewhere in the morning."
"Fair enough," he agreed happily. "Come on, I'll see you out."
They left his bedroom and started going down the stairs, stopping halfway when they noticed Victor and Hazel sat on the bottom step. Victor had his head buried in her neck and she had her arms around him, stroking his hair. Victor was crying and Hazel was trying to comfort him. "I just want my brother back," they heard Victor mumble through his tears. "I miss him, Haze. I don't think I can get married if he's not there, it wouldn't feel right."
"Shh, I know sweetie," she said. "It's okay, I know."
All four of the people on the staircase jumped when they heard a glass smash in the dining room and heard Uriel shouting again. Zed sighed. He didn't blame Uriel for being so upset and angry, he wasn't embarrassed of him. He simply felt so sorry for him and wished there was something he could do to make him feel better but he knew that there wasn't.
"Poor Uriel," Blue whispered quietly beside him.
"I know," Zed replied. "He and Victor used to be so close and now... Well, it sucks." He carried on walking down the stairs and Blue followed him, thanking Hazel when she shifted to the side a little to let them past.
After Blue left, Zed went straight back up to his bedroom and put his headphones on, turning the volume of his ipod up. He didn't want to have to hear two of his brothers breaking down emotionally. It was something no brother wanted to hear.
Author's note: Poor Uriel :( But Zed and Blue finally had a chapter without them arguing, yay!
A hint about the next chapter: Zed takes Blue skiing.