Hello everyone! Sorry its taken so long for this chapter, I graduated and got a job so I've been pretty busy! Thanks to LLL for doing a great job beta'n this for me! Now lets see what Bella is up too. . .
Maybe where I should be is nowhere.
How could he say that? He knows I need him. The ache that Jake was healing feels like it's been ripped apart all over again. I can't go through this again. How am I going to go through this again? I couldn't put Charlie through another one of my breakdowns. He might make good on his threat and actually send me to Florida. The last thing I need is a state full of happy overly tan old people and Spring Breakers. I need a distraction. That's what Jacob was right? Distraction from the real cause of pain… I guess I'll have to get creative.
It's been about a month since I last heard from Jacob. He won't return my calls or texts. I stopped emailing and video calling about 2 weeks ago. I'm ready to just end it all. The distance has even caused a disturbance between Charlie and Billy. Charlie is upset that I can't go to La Push and he thinks that Billy is being rash about not telling him why I can't come. Even Billy knows that whatever it is won't be good for Charlie to know. Charlie even went as far as driving us to La Push one day, but Billy wouldn't open the door. The look on Charlie's face broke my heart. He looked so confused and angry at his friend. Charlie stopped mentioning Jacob or Billy after that. He started picking up more shifts at work and I started to find distractions in simple things at first, different cooking techniques, reading new books, playing one of those popular computer games, nothing life threatening. I did want to go out in the woods, though. My last encounter with the great outdoors didn't do me much good, but something about it calls me. Call me stupid, but it's where I want to be.
I wait until Charlie is gone for the day and I gather a water bottle, a thermos filled with hot soup, and my phone. I lock the door and head into the forest behind my yard. I stumble in the best way I know how, ungracefully, and I head straight. I don't know if it's North or East, but I don't see any moss so I keep going. I'm not looking for anything special, I just miss being out in the woods. I wouldn't dare try to find the place He took me out here. It's too far away, anyway. I shake the thought from my head and push on.
It's close to dark when I realize I'm lost. I sigh to myself and find a rock to sit on. I had a feeling this would happen. Leave it to Swan to get lost in the woods behind her house. Deva ju? I dial Charlie but it goes to voicemail. I look at the time and groan. He still has four hours left at the station. It will be almost 11 before he leaves. I didn't wear a thick coat for night. I scroll through my contacts and see one name that I can call. I know he won't answer, but dying of hypothermia is not how I want to go. It goes to voicemail like so many other times I've called. I decide to leave a message this time.
"Hey, it's um me. I know you're not going to answer and you're probably staring at the machine but… look I'm in the woods and I'm lost. Charlie doesn't get off until 11 so if you can, please try to call me back or better yet help me get out this never ending forest?"
I hang up and l shine the light from my phone around me. Green. Green everywhere I turn. I put my phone down as it shines down on something not green. I frown and bring my phone back up to the not green. It's brown and big. I angle my phone and I notice it's a paw. A very large paw just a few feet from me. I quickly drop my phone into my coat pocket. I don't know what kind of animal it is, but I know it can see me and I can't see him.
Don't panic, don't panic! They can smell fear.
The animal growls.
Yeah it definitely smells my fear.
I back away slowly from the beast. I still can't make out what it is, but my best guess is a wolf, or a dog on I back up and move farther away from the creature but with each step it follows me sliding his feet over the lush forest floor. My feet make a noise every time they come in contact with a branch or a leaf. It's impossible for me to be stealthy. I turn and my back hits a tree. I bite my lip to hold in my scream. I don't want to piss it off any more than it already is. I move to my left and it jumps in front of me so slowly I move to the right and it moves closer. I continue to back away and it keeps on, leading this deathly dance. Whenever I make a move it doesn't seem happy with it jumps in and makes me move in the opposite direction. Sometimes I'm lucky and make the right choice and he just follows me. I wonder if he always plays with his snacks like this. I know I can't be more than a snack for him, like a beef jerky stick. Something to hold him before he finds a bigger piece of meat to devour. The moon shines down from above and I desperately want to look, but I know if I look away that the creature will make his move. He walks into the moonlight and I can see him clearly. He is much bigger and his fur looks as black as night. And his eyes just as cold.
I look at the clearing around us and suddenly I remember that this is the location I started from! This stupid beast has led me to familiar ground while he's been walking his late night snack to his den. Tough luck Big Bad, I know this area well! There are rocks as big as its head down this slope and below that is my house. Now if I can just get him to move the other direction...
He sees me moving toward the sloping area and he gives another growl, this time baring his teeth. I try to ignore how long and pointy they are but they're huge. I slowly creep closer and his growls get louder and his snarls get stronger. I'm about 5 feet away from jumping down the slope and landing in a painful area among rocks, but I'll take them over being in a wolf's den.
When I raise my foot he moves in on me, and if I wait any longer he'll block my route for escape. I race to the closing gap he is heading to and I jump as hard as I can into the 3 feet wide space onto the sloping hill. The wolf lets out a howl and I scramble to put my feet back under me, but I'm tumbling down the hill. Rocks jut from the ground, hitting my arms and legs and any space of my head my hands can't cover. I hear something pounding around me but I can't tell what it is. The wolf's howling is getting closer. How can it be getting closer? My body crashes into a rock and I land on my side, stretching from pain. I groan and open my eyes; there are 4 wolves coming down the rocky slope and the midnight black wolf is leading me to my death. I can't die like this, I can't but I barely have any energy. I try to stand but my leg makes an awful snapping sound and I fall back onto the ground. I whimper, and the wolves creep towards me. They know when their prey is wounded. The hunt is over, everything else is trivial.
I lie down and finally look at the moon. It's full tonight, clear and hanging beautifully in the starless sky. I reach my hand out and I lose myself, the moon is moving away and everything is getting blurry. I'm being moved around by my legs and arms. My stomach and head continue to get hit with painful bites and nudges. The wolves have me now and I expect to die quickly, sadly I'm not dead yet. I have to endure a few more moments of life before I'm eaten alive. I wonder what organ I'll feel them eat before I finally black out. My other leg makes an even louder snapping sound and moves into an odd angle. I barely feel the pain. All I feel are nudges now, everything is being hit. I look for my moon and like before it's sitting beautifully above me, and then suddenly, it's gone.
Reviews are always welcome! Thoughts on this?