Chapter Two: And So Our Antiheroes Set Off
Shadow Link was making himself a lunch of habas tapas and frittas when Vaati teleported in the middle of the living room. Being in the kitchen, he heard the loud crash that symbolised his creator's clumsy arrival on top of the bookshelf, which promptly plummeted to earth.
Shadow walked into the living room with an air of indifference. "Master, I do wish ya'll would be more careful when ya teleport. That's the third bookshelf this week."
Vaati got to his feet, self- consciously adjusting his hat as the books and their shelf arranged themselves into their former position behind him. "Apologies, Shadow. I am not in the optimum state of mind at the moment- I have just received rather unwelcome news from Lord Ganondorf."
The shadow boy raised his eyebrows. "Tell me 'bout it! Last week I got news that the HQ ki'chen is clean outta chilli sauce! I've been findin' it hard to live!"
His master magically procured a bottle of chilli sauce from under his cape. "I've been taking it to the local McDonalds. They really need it to cover up the taste of horse in their burgers. But I can spare one for you."
Shadow took it, a greedy glint in his eye. "Okay then, Master, fire away!"
The two mages sat in the kitchen, eating Shadow's lunch while they talked. Vaati would politely finish eating his mouthful before speaking, whereas Shadow would simply speak where and when the need took him, spraying food all over the table. In his mind, Vaati silently likened it to being next to a digusting lawn sprayer. As the fifth piece of habas tapas hit him, he gave the boy a stern lecture on manners before continuing with the explanation of his dilemma.
"So, basically..." Shadow began with his mouth full, but after receiving a glare from his master he shut it and swallowed sharply. "So, basically, we gotta liberate Death Mountain from the Gerudos?"
"Yes, that's the basis." Vaati confirmed. "After the Gerudos are taken care of, we have to then persuade the Gorons to give us their trust so that they will become part of our army. They would be a very powerful addition to our flanks."
"So...", Shadow poked at his plate with his fork, "how do we do that, then? The Gorons ain't an easily persuaded lot."
"Well, by that time we would have already liberated their homeland. We're hoping to do that before the Shiroi- because although the Gorons can be quite stubborn, they will gladly assist anyone who has given them assistance in turn. Basically, it's whoever can rescue the Gorons first- because they are the ones that the Gorons will be willing to aid. Their race is neutral, but willing to help either side."
"Hrm. The Shiroi can shift, though. They 'ave all that magic an' all to help them."
"So do we, Shadow! We're sorcerers!"
"YOU are, Master." Shadow glanced up at him from underneath his hair. "I can only do what I can under your power. And the Dark Mirror's, of course." He nodded towards the mirror standing forlornly in the corner, as if in acknowledgement "What're we gonna do with it while we're gone? Obviously we can't trust the Hinoxes."
"We shall return it to our HQ. Lord Ganondorf will most probably keep it in his chamber, as it is the most secure place in the building."
Shadow nodded, finishing his dinner with a loud burp. He noticed Vaati's plate was not empty yet. "Finish yours, Master?"
After Shadow Link had finished Vaati's dinner, the two returned to the HQ via teleportation. Since they were carrying the Dark Mirror, they made sure to be a bit more careful. They managed to teleport perfectly in the dead centre of Ganondorf's chamber, where he was waiting impatiently.
"What kept you two?!" he snapped. "I got so bored I went for a walk and stubbed my toe! You're paying for my damages, Vaati!"
Vaati nodded. "Of course, Master. I apologise for being the indirect cause of your affliction. In other matters, however, I am pleased to report that Shadow Link has accepted the mission you have set out for him and will now accompany me on our journey. As you can see, we have returned the Dark Mirror to this HQ in order to preserve it as we did not feel it would be under suitable protection in the hands of the Hinoxes. I trust that you appreciate our decision?"
"Whatever." Ganondorf grunted, not wanting to admit he had been more fascinated in watching -and then zapping- a little bird outside the window than Vaati's words. He had heard "Shadow Link", "accepted", and "accompany", so that was enough. He crossed his legs, leaned back in his chair and folded his arms, making sure to look down his nose at the two of them.
"Well then, I suppose you'd better go and pack. Don't take too much because you don't want to fall back down the mountain again!" He laughed loudly at his own joke, slapping his knee in appreciation. Vaati and his creation exchanged wry smiles, but dutifully laughed along anyway.
When Ganondorf had finished amusing himself, he cleared his throat loudly. "Didn't I tell you two to pack?! GO!"
"[CENSORED] [CENSORED] [CENSORED] [CENSORED] [CENSORED]!"
"SHADOW LINK!" Vaati hissed, straightening up over a small travel bag. "How vulgar!"
"Sorry, Master. Just felt like lettin' off a little steam." Shadow sang, swinging a toiletries pack around his head. Vaati closed his eyes, waiting for it to explode everywhere, but mercifully it never did. Instead, it left Shadow's hand and hit him square in the side of the head.
"[CENSORED]!" This from Vaati.
"MASTER!" Shadow shouted gleefully. "How vulgar!"
"Oh, grow up, will you." the sorcerer muttered, rubbing the soreness and resuming his packing. "Honestly, what kind of demonic being brought YOU into the world... Oh yeah. Me."
His creation, which he was currently highly regretting, proceeded to spill a whole jar of Heart Potion over the floor. "Hey, I thought only Shiroi were allowed this!" he exclaimed.
"Well, yes. It's a very addictive substance if used in excess, but Shiroi tend to be more responsible for controlling their levels of consumption." Vaati replied.
"But Link drinks loads of it!"
"Yeah, that's why he doesn't say much. He's probably really stoned."
"Ha! Ya got it, Master! D'ya know, he once told a story 'bout how his magical sword split him into four! WHA HA HA!"
"No, that actually happened. And it was me that got the brunt of it."
"Woah, really? Bein' stabbed at the same time, same place by four people? What was it like?"
Vaati shuddered as he remembered that Link had once again drawn that sword out, split himself into four, and was now joining forces with the Shiroi to seek and destroy the Kuroi again. He was fairly sure that Shadow Link would get his first taste of the blade soon enough. "It was bad. Now just shut up and pack!"
(A/N: This is probably set around the time of Four Swords Adventures, right at the beginning. Of course, I don't actually have a place in the timeline for it, it's mainly just timeline hopping everywhere, but let's say for continuity's sake that it's FSA. It just makes everything easier in terms of the Shadow stuff).
Two travel bags later (packed with: hairspray, spare clothes, a map, the spare bottle of Heart Potion, and a compass), the two were ready to go. Or at least, as ready as they could possibly be with Ganondorf banging impatiently on the door.
"Hurry up, you two! Are you trying to fit the entire study in your bags?! Vaati, I hope you're taking some paperwork!"
"Of course, Master." Vaati lied, stuffing two pieces of blank paper in the bags in case Ganondorf checked.
The two mages left the room, and Shadow locked the door behind them with a Small Key. He opened his mouth and, with a flourish, dropped the key in and swallowed.
"Shadow!" Vaati spluttered. Ganondorf looked unconcerned.
"He can regurgitate anything at will, even if it has already been digested." Ganon explained. Vaati glared at his creation. "How did you work that out?"
"I, uh... kinda regurgitated your dinner last week." Shadow muttered, fidgeting. "Not that it wasn't nice... it's just... I didn't like the paprika."
Vaati's shoulders slumped in despair as he turned back to his master. "Should we set off now, then?"
Ganon looked out of the window at the deepening twilight. "Better had."