Sam is being shipped off to The Warriors of Mist today. Dean, Sam and I all were by the front door. Sam's suitcases were to our rights and I couldn't look up at him because I feared I wouldn't be able to hold back the tears. I didn't want him to leave; I mean he just confessed his feelings for me and now he is leaving. Dean has also been awfully distance from me since he found out Sam developed feelings for me. I feel that living with Dean alone while Sam is away is going to be a little awkward.
"I'll be back before you know it." I heard Sam say. I was still avoiding looking up at him. "Dean can you give us a minute?"
"Yeah sure." Dean sighed going into the living room and turned on the TV. I didn't know if he was actually watching it or if he was just trying to give Sam and I some privacy.
"Look at me Rikki. Please?" Sam begged me but I still didn't look up at him. "Why won't you look at me?"
"Because this is really painful and if I look at you I won't be able to hold back my tears." I said as my eyes betrayed me and I started crying anyway.
"Don't cry, Rikki." He sighed pulling up my chin so I had to look at him. He had hurt in those perfect eyes of his. "I promise that I will only be a letter away." He smiled weakly brushing my tears away with his thumb.
"It's just I was away from you for weeks and then you confess your feelings for me. Now your leaving and I don't know what I am going to do when I can't feel my hands going up your body when we hug or the way your lips feel against mine. Sammy it's like you are leaving a house that you have set on fire and also leaving people inside while you get away safely."
"What are you talking about?"
"Dean just found out you have developed feelings for me. He wanted me Sam and you just took me right out from under him. How do you think that makes him feel? Now you are leaving him and I alone? Together? That's the fire and I am going to get burned."
"I'm sorry Rik but I have to go." He said kissing my forehead. "I am going to miss you so much though and I understand that you are feeling the heat. I wish I could be here for you but you will be fine." He said putting a couple strands of my hair behind my ear. "When I get back I promise you I will take you out. How does that sound?"
"It's good." I sighed.
"I can't leave until I see that smile." He said poking my cheeks gently. "There's that smile." He smiled as those cute little dimples he had popped out of his cheeks. "I have to go now." He sighed. "I will be in touch." He said kissing me with his soft lips. They explored my body for the last time committing it to memory. He moved his hand down to my butt and squeezed it gently. "I'm going to miss that." He hummed along my skin. His lips traveled back up to my lips and forced his hot tongue in my mouth. My heart kicked in high gear and I knew he could hear because it felt like it was going to jump out of my chest.
"Here take this." I said when he pulled away so we could catch our breath. I went into my jean pocket and pulled out a picture of me.
"I will keep it on me at all times." He smiled again kissing my cheek. "I have something for you as well." He said going into his pocket and pulled out a oval locket. It was gold and had flowers engraved in the front. "It was my mother's and I want you to have it. I put a picture of myself in it so I will be closer than you think."
"I will treasure it. Thank you." I said as he clasped it around my neck.
"You're Welcome." He said as the necklace fell onto me. "Dean?" He questioned walking into the living room. I didn't follow him so he could have the same privacy that Dean gave us. I just hung back by the door; I could have easily heard what they were saying but I decided that I wasn't going to listen. Sam came back after a couple minutes. "Bye." He whispered in my ear. He kissed me on the lips one more time but this time it was quick, he opened the front door , pick up his bags and he was out. He got in the car that had been waiting for him in the driveway and waved until he turned at the corner. I couldn't see him anymore; I frowned and closed the door.
"You hungry?" Dean asked walking to where I stood.
"I'm not hungry." I sighed looking at the closed door. "I'm going to go to sleep…" I trailed off finally turning my gaze away from the door but didn't look up at Dean.
"You okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine." I said plastering a smile on my face before I looked up at him. "Just tired that's all." I said walking up the stairs. I got into Sam's room and closed the door. I looked at his bed and threw myself on top of it pulling the covers over my head. I could smell him and yes I had been sleeping in his bed with him but now I was alone. It felt so cold and empty compared to how it use to feel. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore and they started flowing out. Every time I took a breath in I could smell Sam again and it just made the tears keep on coming. There was a knock on the door and Dean walked in.
"It will be okay he will be back before you know it." Dean said in a comforting tone sitting on the side of the bed next to me.
"Do you really believe that, Dean? What if he gets hurt or the warriors decide he is better than they remember and they keep him there?" I said pulling the covers off and sitting up in the bed.
"Sam is strong and we both know that. It will be hard but that's what you have me for and that's what I have you for." He said wiping my face with a tissue. "Where did you get that locket?" He asked taking in his hand and moving it around in his fingers.
"Sam gave it to me before he left. It was your mother's right?"
"Yeah she gave it to Sam when he was a baby before she died in that tragic fire" He said letting go of the necklace. "Sam was six months old when she died. I was four and I have been protecting Sammy ever since."
"He said there is a picture of him in here. I haven't opened it yet." I said opening the locket and sure enough there was a picture of Sam in it. He was smiling and that sparkle in his eyes was visible. His dimples also showed, he was wearing some washed out jeans and a short sleeve shirt. He had his hands crossed over his chest and his arms were bulging with his muscles. "Yep a picture of him." I sighed running my fingers over it.
"Really?" He said grabbing the locket out of my hand. "There used to be a picture of our mom in there." He said seeing something in the locket and started picking at it. He moved Sam's picture away. "Ahh there it is." He said turning the locket around so I could see. She was beautiful; she had the same green eyes that Sam has and he long curly blonde hair that flowed down over her shoulders. She had Dean's nose and Sam's lips. She had her hands over her stomach like she was rubbing it like she was comforting a growing baby. "She was pregnant with Sam in that picture." He smiled looking at the picture.
"She's so beautiful." I said as Dean put the picture of Sam back in the locket, closed it and let it fall on my chest again.
"Yeah I miss her so much. Sam wasn't really old enough to remember much of her. I still remember the way she smelled but the one thing I hated about my mom and dad's relationship was how they always were fighting with each other. They loved each other though."
"You mean they protected each other."
"Yeah our love is protection but your species love is so much better." He smiled . "So you and Sam?"
"Dean we don't have to talk about it."
"No I want to. Rikki, Sammy is my little brother and I have been waiting for him to develop feelings for the longest time. You made him develop feelings; you guys are bound together just like I am bound to Layla but she broke the bound and now I am lost. Don't worry about me."
"I do worry about you Dean. I love you and I feel so horrible that I couldn't love you in the way you wanted me to."
"Rikki I'm fine I promise. I do love you but you have made your chose and I promised your mom I wouldn't force you into anything you wouldn't want. I am obviously not the one and it's really okay because Sam will protect you."
"Does Sam ever talk about me to you?"
"He tries to avoid it but I really want to know. Layla had me believe that she loved me and it was just one sided love. Yes I was bound to her but a bound only works if the other has the same feelings."
"So my mother loved you and you love her. You are bound to my mother?!" I asked in surprise.
"Sadly yes. I know she loves your dad but she loves me too."
"Well I can't tell you if you are right because she never really talked about her past relationships. How did you guys break up?"
"Well she had been cheating on your dad with me for quite some time and I told her that she had to leave him and come live with me. She said she needed to think about it. That's when your dad came in and stole her away. She started becoming very distance toward me and then one morning when she answered the door for me, she told me that she thought she was pregnant. It couldn't have been my baby because we hadn't had sex with each other in months. She confessed that she loved River and closed the door in my face. I stayed away for a while because I couldn't watch her carry his baby when it wasn't mine. Once you were born I went to visit you and Bay was surprised to answer the door and see me standing in the doorway. She invited me in and we got reacquainted. She told me that she missed me." He smiled as his eyes got moist. "She introduced me to River and I became a huge family friend. She wanted me in her life and I was willing to be her friend just so I could be close to her."
"This is a lot to take in. Most people don't know about their mother's past sexual experiences. I want to hear I really do but it's just a little weird."
"Yeah it is. New topic. So the weather is nice isn't it?"
"A little cold for me." I laughed playing along.
"There's that smile. I came up here waiting for that." He smiled brushing my hair out of my face. "Get some sleep. Good night."
"Yeah. Uhh Dean will you just stay here until I fall asleep?"
"Sure."
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