I realize this is unforgivable. I can't ask you to forget the ten month break between chapters, and I'll totally understand if I have no readers after this. I am truly, genuinely, really, extraordinarily, guilt-riddenly sorry. I will not plague you with my excuses, though I assure you, they are many in number. I just hope you'll give me another chance to make it up to you! This is just the beginning of what was originally supposed to be a really long chapter 13, so please let me know if you want me to post the rest of it. I would like to know if anyone is still reading, so please review, even though I know I really don't deserve it.
So sorry.
Hey, Potter!" James looked down to see Bertha Jorkin's speculative, somewhat rat-like face alarmingly close to his own.
"What?" James frowned, quickly backing away from Bertha. Although he would never say it aloud, he'd always been a bit repulsed by the girl, and not just because of her looks, (or rather, lack thereof.) She was a terrible gossip, and quite frankly, she was a bit of an idiot. Okay, a lot of an idiot.
"Is it true that you and Lily Evans are planning on eloping?"
"Excuse me?" If there was one area Bertha was talented in, it was her ability to keep track of inter-student relationships and drama, and she also had a gift for exaggeration. She was typically the reason why news spread so quickly through the school.
"Is it true that you and Evans are eloping?" she inquired clearly, her eyes squinting unpleasantly.
"Yes, of course it's true." James replied sarcastically.
Bertha's dark eyes gleamed devilishly. "Thanks, James." She scampered into the crowd.
"No- Bertha-" he called after her in exasperation. "I was just…"
But she was gone.
"Great." He muttered, knowing he would pay for his sarcasm later.
And indeed he did.
After dinner that night, James lay on his stomach on the couch in Head tower, Quidditch Through the Ages propped up on a pillow in front of his face. The fire blazed, enveloping him in a pleasant warmth, his feet dangled off the other end of the couch lazily.
There was a loud bang as Lily burst through the door, her usually sleek hair in disarray. "James!" she exclaimed, sounding distraught.
He gave a small jump of surprise and forgetting that he was lying down, tried to spin around, the result being his rolling off the couch and onto the floor with a painful thump.
"What?" James jumped up from the floor, book in hand, alert.
"Gwen told me that Quirinus told her that Rita told him that Bertha told her that you told her in secret that I'm pregnant and we're getting married over Christmas in France!"
James surveyed Lily's pale face, slightly open mouth, and panicked eyes.
They ogled at each-other for a moment, before James burst out laughing, and fell back onto the couch.
Lily stared at him for a moment with an expression of mingled exasperation and disbelief, then, after a moment, joined in.
She stumbled over and collapsed on the couch next to him with what appeared to be defeat.
"It's – not – funny!" she managed to choke out through her giggles.
This only made James laugh harder.
"Stop it!" she gasped, holding a stitch in her side.
"Sorry." James managed to compose himself in order to speak. "Not funny."
"No, it's not funny!" She clasped her hands over her mouth to hide her smile. "But I really don't want some stupid rumor going around that I'm... well, you know... pregnant." She sobered and wrinkled her nose in distaste.
"You never specified." James said, fighting to maintain a straight face. "Is it my child?"
She whacked him with her book bag.
"Ouch!"
"Yes, it's your child, you arse!"
"Well," he rubbed his arm, casting her a reproachful glance. "That's fantasti—!" He changed his words at her glare. "—Er, bad. Very bad."
"Yes." She replied, seeming glad that he was grasping this concept.
"We'll have to fix this." He stroked his chin musingly.
Lily sunk back into the couch, her expression wary at the mischievous light in James's eyes.
"What are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking we'll make a scene in the corridor tomorrow morning."
He watched as understanding bloomed across Lily's fair face.
"You mean we're going to stage a fight?" Her lips stretched into an impish grin.
James quirked an eyebrow. "Who are you and what have you done with Lily Evans?"
She shrugged. "So how are we going to do this?"
"Well…" James mused, falling easily into the oh-so-familiar mode of scheming. "Let's say, 11:00, corridor of Boris the Bewildered. There's always a load of students there…"
The next morning at 11:00 in the corridor of Boris the Bewildered, James nodded subtly to Lily. She quickly straightened up and slipped away from him, weaving through a group of fifth years and coming to stand in an angry posture on the other side of the corridor. She cast him a nervous glance.
He winked.
Her chest rose and fell with a deep breath.
"James Potter, you are an inconsiderate, egoistic prat!" Lily shouted at him suddenly, pulling her hand out of her pocket, fist clenched around her wand.
James was almost truly scared for a moment by the abrupt change in Lily's face, even though he knew she was just acting. In a fraction of a second, her expression had gone from nervous apprehension to blazing fury. It was a rather frightening thing.
Through his peripheral vision, James saw several curious heads turn their way at Lily's exclamation.
"You've always been insufferable; won't you just leave me alone?" Lily raised her wand to point at his chest.
James plunged a hand into his robes and pulled out his wand with a flourish, pointing it straight at Lily's face. "Bring it on, muggleborn." He dared, voice mocking.
There was a collective gasp from the mob of students as Lily suddenly swept her wand through the air, shooting a nonverbal spell at James.
He could feel the eyes of dozens of adolescents on them now; they had everyone's attention.
"Protego." He flicked his wand lazily. Red sparks exploded in midair. Students shrieked and backed away, clueless to the fact that the ricochet would be harmless.
The point of this entire spectacle was to dredge up memories in the students' minds concerning the two heads, and remind them of how much Lily had hated James.
It would be a little stab to James's pride if everyone fell for their little trick. Did he really want the entire student body thinking that he would never be good enough for Lily? He shook off the thought quickly. It didn't really matter what everyone else thought, anyways. What were their opinions but vapors in the wind, really?
"Incendio!" James voiced, sending a jet of flames in Lily's direction. She let the curse hit her, and immediately flames sprung up from the floor, engulfing her in a pillar of ten foot tall flames. James had gone big for dramatic effect. These were not just puny, orange flames; these were enormous: a white hot inferno encircled Lily, indisputably dangerous, undeniably impressive.
Lily fell to her knees with a false shriek of pain amidst the flames, which were leaping wildly around her. Her robes gave off copious amounts of smoke, shrouding her from clear vision, but to the crowd, it would appear that Lily was ablaze; swallowed by fire.
Several bystanders screamed in shock and outrage; James distinctly heard a few phrases articulated that were definitely punishable by detention at Hogwarts.
Fortunately, James knew that Lily was discreetly performing a simple flame-freezing spell in the midst of the inferno and now enjoying a gentle tickling sensation.
They'd gotten the idea from Wendelin the Weird, who'd enjoyed the sensation so much that she'd allowed herself to be captured by witch-burners in the 1400s no less than forty-seven times.
"Hah!" James exclaimed triumphantly, raising his wand in the air.
"Augamenti!" Lily's voice cried out from the pillar of flames. She doused the conflagration with a torrent of water and shot another nonverbal spell at James in retaliation, which he deflected, swishing his wand theatrically.
"Is that all you've got?" he challenged loudly.
"Avis oppugno!" Lily shouted, her smoldering robes adding to the picture of rage.
James yelled in half-feigned terror as the flock of paper-mâché birds flew towards him, beaks clicking furiously. He turned and sprinted down the corridor and around the corner, waiting until he was out of sight to spin around to face the demonic birds.
"REDUCTO!" He flinched, expecting to feel the impact of sharp beaks and talons on his skin, but when he opened his eyes, all he saw was large amount of confetti sprinkling down onto his head.
He shook the paper out of his hair, contentedly listening to the clamor of clapping students in the distance.
They'd fallen for it! James laughed out loud, causing a nearby suit of armor to jump in alarm.
They would be talking about this little duel for months. James could just see the headline of Rita Skeeter's self-published school newspaper now:
Lily Evans and James Potter battle it out in wizard's duel - enmity between the two stronger than ever!
James shook his head at the thought and pushed the suit of armor he had frightened back into its place against the wall. (Filch was constantly trying to fix this cowardly armor issue; more than once James heard Dumbledore joke that he didn't' think it "suitable" for the armor to be so easily frightened.)
James adjusted the armor's war axe into its previously proper hazardous position and set off to Care of Magical Creatures, still pulling confetti out from the inside of his hood.
Care of Magical Creatures ended up being rather exciting: this week the class was studying hippogriffs, and Professor Kettleburn managed to get a hold of half a dozen of the great creatures. They began with studying a diagram of a hippogriff from their books, then Professor Kettleburn lectured them on how to approach and mount a hippogriff. Finally, the professor let the class spread out and near the massive beasts. James, Sirius, and Peter slowly approached a chestnut-colored hippogriff named Featherbeak, making sure not to break eye contact. James stepped forward and bent at the waist into a bow. The hippogriff sunk to its knees after a moment, allowing James to draw nearer. After a few minutes of petting his beak, James mounted Featherbeak and patted his feathers fondly.
"Oi!" Sirius called up to him. "Maybe you should get down now!"
"I just got on!" James frowned.
"Yes, but I'm not sure Featherbeak here can carry the wait of your overly large head." Sirius grinned.
"Oh, shut up, you idiot." James rolled his eyes. "I know you just want a go." Suddenly he was thrown forward as Featherbeak clawed the ground viciously and shook his great head.
"Woah!" James' instinct was to immediately grab onto something, and without thinking, he took hold of the feathers on Featherbeak's crest to keep steady. That was a mistake. The hippogriff let out a hair-raising screech of pain and reared up onto his hind legs. The feathers slipped underneath James's fingers, and gravity forced him to tumble backwards off of the animal and onto the ground with a painful thud, landing on his side. The air whooshed out of his lungs. Featherbeak screeched angrily again, and James quickly tucked his elbows in and rolled away, afraid of the massive talons that took place of hooves on the forelegs of a hippogriff. Once out from under the hippogriff, James jumped to his feet, feeling the fall in the side of his body that he landed on, pain lancing through his hip, shoulder, and ribs.
"Featherbeak!" Professor Kettleburn hobbled over, a dead ferret waving in his hand. "Calm down, would you?" He tossed the ferret to Featherbeak, who caught it in his beak, dropped to all fours, and contentedly began tearing apart the meat.
Peter rushed over to James, his eyes wide. "Are you all right?" he squeaked.
"I think so." James breathed in heavily, determining if any of his ribs were cracked. They seemed to be okay.
"Smooth, Prongs." Sirius loped over. "That'll definitely get you the ladies."
"What happened?" Peter glanced around at the surrounding hippogriffs in terror, as though one of them was going to swoop down at devour him at any moment.
"I think Featherbeak thought I was calling him an idiot." James grumbled, beating the dirt from his robes.
Sirius barked a laugh. "Guess you should have thought of that before you insulted me!"
"Professor Kettleburn did say to be careful what you say around them." Peter nodded.
James shook his head and watched as Professor Kettleburn checked Featherbeak for injuries and began limping toward James. James hoped that the hippogriff wasn't hurt, despite being thrown off rather rudely by the brute.
"Did you insult him, Potter?" the teacher growled. "He seems fine, just slightly offended, and a small patch of feathers missin'."
"I think he misunderstood me, Professor."
"You're all right, aren't you?" the Professor peered at him. "Threw ya off pretty hard, did he?"
"I'm okay." James shrugged, shooting Sirius an askance glare.
"Well make sure you check in with Madam Pomfrey if you feel somethin's broken or banged up too bad."
"All right." James rubbed his shoulder in discomfort.
"That's all for today, class!" Professor Kettleburn turned around to face the rest of the students. I want a two feet of parchment on the history of hippogriffs! Due Monday!"
On the way back to the castle for lunch, the three marauders discussed their essay on the history of hippogriffs.
"I will pay you three gaellons to write my essay, Prongs." Sirius bartered.
"But then I have to write two essays, make them different, and forge your handwriting, Padfoot." James shook his head. "I think that's worth more than three gaellons."
"Fine, five gaellons, but nothing over."
"I don't know mate, that still seems pretty cheap to me. I can't even take a girl out for a nice dinner with five gaellons."
They bantered all the way back to the castle, Remus chiming in that he should turn them in to McGonagall for doing each-other's work.
"Hey!" Lily's whispered voice caught James's attention as they were about to walk into the Great Hall for lunch. He looked around for the source of her voice and found her bright green eyes peering at him from around the corner.
James looked back at his friends. Only Remus had noticed Lily's summoning, and nodded at James, indicating that he should go speak with her.
"I'll catch up with you guys, okay?" James hurriedly waved and headed towards Lily.
"'Scuse me." he battled against the body of students heading into the Great Hall. "Sorry." He muttered as he trod on a tiny blonde boy's robes.
As soon as he broke free of the swarm, he darted around the corner, into a faintly lit passage. "Hey." He cast his eyes around to see if anyone was paying attention to them. A few ghosts floated through the passage's stone walls and into the Great Hall, but they didn't much involve themselves in the affairs of the students.
"How do you think we did this morning?" She grinned puckishly.
"You were amazing!" he grinned back at her. "And you're all right?"
"Of course!" she exclaimed, her eyes bright. "I didn't feel a thing! Can we do that more often?"
James laughed. "Whatever you wish, Wendelin the Weird."
"That wasn't the only part I enjoyed." She retorted defensively.
"Well then, it rather frightens me that you take so much delight in in hexing me," he chuckled.
"I have been wanting to send that flock of birds after you for years." She admitted.
"Well, I'm glad you did it then, as opposed to a time when I wasn't expecting it." He raised his eyebrows. "Mulciber didn't seem to enjoy it much when you did it to him."
"No, he didn't, did he?" Lily smirked. "Anyways, do you think we fooled them?"
"Most definitely." He nodded. "I don't think they'll expect that you have any sort of affectionate feelings towards me whatsoever after that."
Lily's head tilted slightly to the side, sending a cascade of red hair down to her hip. "I really appreciate you doing this, James." She said, her eyes becoming serious. "I know this is probably a bit humiliating for you."
He felt a genuine smile spread across his lips as he reached down to stroke the side of her face with his knuckles.
"Well, we can't have people thinking that we can actually tolerate each-other, now can we?"
She bit her lip. "I don't care if everyone knows how I feel about – you know, us –," she gazed at him shyly through her long lashes. "but I just don't want these ridiculous rumors going around. That's all, really." She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair, then down along his jaw, causing goosebumps to rise on his arms. "I'm not embarrassed of-" her fingers lingered at his cheek, "this."
He took her hand and pressed his lips against her fingers gently. "Neither am I." he smiled. "So where does that leave us?"
"I suppose we'll let this whole debacle calm down." She shrugged. "And then, after everyone forgets about the fanatical rumors about me," she patted her stomach. "we'll just… be ourselves."
"So I suppose we probably shouldn't walk in there and eat lunch together." James tilted his head to where the muffled voices of hundreds of students sounded from.
Lily's lips twisted into a small smile "Probably not."
It was amazing for James to know that look in her eyes was really wistfulness, and not just a figment of his ego. He loved knowing that she truthfully cared for him.
"I do feel like I've been neglecting my other friends though." Lily frowned. "I haven't chatted with Marlene in ages."
"All right." James said matter-of- factly, releasing her fingers from his grip. "You go spend some time with Marlene and Alice. I'll be right down the table with the Marauders. We'll just try not to appear too friendly."
"Okay." She conciliated, heading out of the passage, then turning back to see why he wasn't following her.
He mussed her hair gently and grinned. "I'll follow you out in a minute. We don't want to make it look like we were together, right?"
"Oh," she frowned. "right." She gave a little wave and turned to leave with a certain, wistful sadness in her eyes.