Chapter 2- What Are You Doing New Years Eve?
Carole and Burt stayed for two more days after Christmas at the loft with Finn and Kurt. Then they headed to DC to finish up some things before Burt had to be back in Lima to begin his treatments. Since no one was going to be in Lima, and Rachel was still out of town, Finn decided to stay at loft with Kurt through the new year. The first night of the two of them alone in the loft, Finn offered to go sleep in Rachel's bed. Kurt shrugged his indifference, although Finn thought it was in the best interest for everyone. Kurt probably didn't need to get too attached to having someone sleeping in bed beside him. Finn himself, was finding it deliciously tempting to have someone to cuddle- and he was trying not to concentrate on who that person was or how they seemed to fit so well together.
Finn took in Kurt's dark eyes, slumped posture and drained expression as he walked into the kitchen the next morning. He tilted his head to the side. "I take it you didn't sleep well last night?" Finn asked.
Kurt blinked at Finn over the lip of his second cup of coffee that morning. Kurt shrugged. "Happens sometimes."
Finn nodded, "I can't say I had the best night's sleep ever either." He offered Kurt a weak smile as he poured half a cup of coffee, adding milk and a couple of spoonfuls of hot chocolate mix.
"So what's on our agenda for today?" For the most part, Finn had tagged along with Kurt everywhere, since Christmas Kurt usually had Finn looking up info on prostate cancer. Alternative treatments, healthy recipes, side effects of chemo; Kurt had Finn compiling lists of things they could reference in the coming weeks as they all struggled as a family with Burt's newest health crisis.
Kurt looked at Finn. "I have my meeting with my advisor at NYADA at ten thirty. Want to tag along? I'm quite familiar with the campus already thanks to Rachel, so I can show you around."
Finn smiled brightly. "Sure, I did see parts of the campus last time I was here, but that sounds like fun," he said.
Kurt and Finn spent the majority of the day at NYADA. Kurt took Finn by the building that housed the winter showcase, then over to the dance studio and the practice rooms, across to some of the music rooms before finally taking Finn over to the student union for pastries and mochas. The sat on one of the airport like leather sofas, reclining back, almost leaning into each other.
"What should we do for New Years?" Finn asked after he had scarfed down his cranberry scone and a chocolate croissant.
Kurt shrugged his shoulders and turned his head to look up at Finn. "The events board over there might have some campus happenings for New Years. We could check that out before we leave."
"Sure." Finn agreed but made no effort to move. "I wonder if my campus has a spot like this."
Kurt chuckled, "I'm sure it does Finn. You'll find it; I have no doubt."
Finn playfully ruffled at Kurt's hair. "I'm not that much of a slacker!"
"Hey!" Kurt squawked as he twisted away from Finn. "Watch the hair Finn Hudson!"
"Make me," Finn taunted; he stuck out his tongue at Kurt. He lunged across the sofa, reaching for Kurt, but Kurt was swift and stood quickly, dodging the side table and standing out of the reach of Finn's long arms. Finn all but rolled off the sofa and stood up, stepping over the long but narrow side table separating him and Kurt. He raised an eyebrow at Kurt and smirked down at him. Kurt took off quickly, running for one of the announcement pillars with Finn quick on his heels. Kurt ducked behind one of the pillars. Finn stood on the other side, ready to pounce once Kurt decided which way he was going.
Kurt looked past Finn at the crowd that was gathering. "We're causing a scene!" Kurt hissed.
Finn threw his head back and laughed. "You always cause a scene." Finn leaned around the way Kurt was.
Kurt dodged the other way. "I do not." Kurt huffed.
"Oh, I think you do little brother." Finn chuckled. "Wearing skirts, see through rain coats, leather pants, gold painted on pants, star kicker dancing to Single Ladies on the football team, being named Prom Queen…" Finn sing-songed a list of Kurt's days in high school.
Kurt poked his head around to Finn's side again; one perfectly arched eyebrow raised in suspicion. "You seem to have paid particular attention to my pants, Finn Hudson."
Finn could feel his face flush slightly before Kurt continued. "You're one to talk. Mr. Get's into Fist Fights with his best friend in the hallway or the choir room, captain of the football team, glee club leader, sets up a kissing booth, kisses his not yet girlfriend in front of thousands of people that then goes viral, gets kicked out of junior prom for fighting, Prom King,walks down the hallway in his underwear…" Kurt was silenced by a large hand sliding over his mouth.
Finn took advantage of Kurt's intensity as he listed all the silly things Finn had done in highschool and stepped around the pillar. He slid his arm around Kurt, sliding a hand over Kurt's mouth to silence him. "Truce, truce." Finn held up his free hand in surrender.
Kurt nodded his agreement and Finn dropped his hand. "Let's see what is going on for New Years Eve." Finn and Kurt stood side by side perusing the board.
"Hey, Kurt look at this," Finn taped on a yellow flier advertising a group called 'Adam's Apples'. "Looks like NYADA might have it's own glee club. You should go check them out."
Kurt pondered the info on the flier, tilting his head. "They probably had auditions back in the fall and I'd have to wait until next year."
"Why would they have a flier up with their rehearsal schedule on a flier if they weren't holding auditions or accepting people all through the year?" Finn postured.
"Maybe they are like the Warblers, rock stars of the school," Kurt said.
"Dude, no glee club is like the Warblers!" Finn exclaimed.
"Vocal Adrenaline," Kurt countered.
"That's sadly true," Finn said.
"We're not rock stars, but we get by all right as long as we don't go around announcing our association with the Apples," a British voice offered as he stepped towards the pair of brothers. "Sorry, I couldn't help but over hear the two of you. I'm Adam," the voice offered as he gestured to the flier, "of Adam's Apples."
Kurt startled; then he extended his hand to Adam. "I'm Kurt," he said as Adam took his hand and shook it briskly. "I'm just starting here in the new year."
"Then you should come out and see what we're about on the tenth," Adam offered; he looked up at Finn. "Both of you."
Finn coughed; then he shook his head. "I don't go here, and I'm heading home to Lima in a couple of days," he explained. "Finn," he offered as he thrust his hand out in Adam's suggestion.
"You should see if your school has a group too. Just because none of us are there with you, doesn't mean you should stop singing," Kurt admonished.
Finn squeezed Adam's hand a little tightly, not quite liking the way Adam was sizing up a seemingly oblivious Kurt. "It's not like I'm never gonna sing again." Finn scoffed as he let go of Adam's hand. "I'm still going to be helping with the New Directions. And Puck is sticking around, so maybe we'll grab Artie and Sam and start up a band or something."
"You both sing then," Adam surmised, tilting his head towards Kurt.
Kurt nodded, his eyes wide with excitement. "We met through Glee club at our high school sophomore year."
Finn rolled his eyes at Kurt. "You keep telling yourself that," he muttered softly.
Kurt scowled at Finn and smacked him lightly in the arm. "Oh shush, you big lug."
Adam brought his hand up to cover a slight smirk from watching the young men in front of him. "I have to say, you two are simply adorable together."
Finn felt his cheeks heat in embarrassment again.
"Oh, noooo, no, no." Kurt sputtered. "We're not together- like that."
"We're brothers," Finn offered, narrowing his eyes at Adam. "I'm Kurt's big brother."
"My younger big brother." Kurt giggled.
Adam made a concerned face before pursing his lips. "I thought you didn't meet until sophomore year? Oh, are you long lost fraternal twins?"
Kurt giggled, again,and Finn scowled at how Adam's eyes lit up at the sound. "No, we're step brothers really. Our parents met sophomore year, married our junior year. But we're really close friends, all things considered and we just usually leave the "step" part out."
Finn stepped closer to Kurt and draped an arm casually across his shoulders, a pleased smile crossing his face as Adam took a step back. "I've kinda been watching out for Kurt even since before all of that, right Kurt?"
Kurt looked up at Finn, fluttering his eyelashes in false worship. "My knight in shining armor; protecting my designer jackets and my satchel from the inside of the dumpsters. Berating your friends for using me as body checking target practice and showing up in a red…"
"Kurt!" Finn warned, cutting the smaller boy off. "We called a truce remember. But if you want to continue that line of thought, I am sure I can come up with a few things Adam here would love to hear." Finn tilted his head to the side as he paused.
"Truce, truce." Kurt huffed; his hands held up in surrender. He flashed an apologetic smile to Adam. "Sorry, but I rather if Finn did not embarrass me within an inch of my life until after I join the Apples."
"You're going to come out and audition then?" Adam questioned. "I look forward to seeing your song selection." Adam smiled at Kurt before nodding at Finn. "I've got to run, but it was a pleasure to meet you Finn." Adam smiled brightly at Kurt again. "You too Kurt. I'll see you around."
"Bye Adam!" Kurt waved, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet with excitement.
"So, New Years," Finn started once Adam was out of sight. "Why don't we grab dinner somewhere and then had to Times Square?"
Kurt looked at Finn as if he had grown two heads. "I don't know, Finn," he said. "I'm not sure I feel up to the crowds, the excitement and the noise of a New Years in Times square."
Finn shrugged. "It was just an idea. I thought it sounded kinda fun."
Kurt looked at Finn and sighed. "It's just, last year when I thought about being here in New York over the holidays, that was one of the things I thought. Being here with Blaine, doing that with Blaine."
Finn frowned; patting Kurt on the shoulder. "It's fine, I get it."
"Although if I am being completely honest," Kurt looked up at Finn and smiled sheepishly, "that picture was actually me, Blaine, you and Rachel. So I guess two out four isn't so bad."
"I promise you a good time!" Finn exclaimed, instantly regretting his word choice the moment they slipped out of his mouth. He ducked his head in embarrassment as his cheeks reddened.
Kurt laughed, a full hearty chuckle, not his flirty giggle. "Never change Finn. Never change."
000
After their day at NYADA, Kurt and Finn returned to the loft with Mexican take out and a cheesecake. Kurt set the food out on the small coffee table in front of the sofa while Finn put away the cheesecake and grabbed a couple of soda's from the fridge. Kurt turned on the TV and Netflix, offering Finn the first choice in the movie.
"What about 'I Am Four?" Finn suggested.
"Sure." Kurt shrugged and started the movie. They ate in comfortable silence, occasionally talking about the movie.
"It's not just me, but the girl looks like Quinn right?" Finn asked at one point, nudging Kurt's shoulder with his own.
When the movie had finished, Kurt stood up and took the empty containers, empty soda cans and dirty dishes to the kitchen before coming back with the cheese cake, a quart of milk and two forks.
"No glasses for the milk?" Finn asked as Kurt put the items on the coffee table.
"It's not like it would be the first time I've drank out of the carton right after you." Kurt shrugged.
"I knew it!" Finn exclaimed as he shook his finger at Kurt.
Kurt stuck out his tongue at Finn as he scrolled through the choices on Netflix.
"So, that Adam guy seems cool," Finn started, as he turned to look directly at Kurt.
Kurt could feel his eyebrows shoot up into his forehead, and he tried to keep his voice calm and steady. "Yeah, I guess. Seemed friendly enough right. And it should be fun to be in a glee club again- although I'm surprised Rachel hasn't mentioned them to me before. Maybe I won't tell her about them for a while."
"That is a little surprising," Finn agreed. "I'd say Adam would like to be friends, with you."
Kurt shifted in his spot, turning to look at Finn. "What are you trying to say?"
Finn laughed for a moment, then quickly changed his demeanor. "I think he was trying to flirt with you, at least once he figured out that I wasn't the jealous boyfriend about to kick the crap out of him."
Kurt scoffed and leaned back against the couch. "I highly doubt that Finn."
"I don't," Finn shook his head. "He was interested."
Kurt resisted the urge to roll his eyes at Finn. "I didn't realize you had become some sort of gay flirting jedi."
"Well, no, but I'm definitely getting better at this protective big brother thing and my big brother senses were super tingly around him," Finn joked. "Besides, I've watched you and Blaine do the "friend" dance. I've watched that other Warbler, Sebastard, try to hit on Blaine."
Kurt laughed. "His name was Sebastian, Finn, but Sebastard fits, nicely."
Finn rolled his eyes. "And now this year, I've been watching Blaine hit on Sa-" Finn blanched.
Kurt sat up straighter and gripped the back of the sofa with his hand. "You've been watching Blaine hit on who? Sa-, Sa-, oh my god, Sam!" Kurt's eyes widened in disbelief, and his hand came up to cover his mouth. "Since when Finn?"
Finn shook his head and held out his arms to Kurt. "I shouldn't have said anything. That was incredibly stupid of me."
Kurt shifted slightly, allowing himself to be engulfed in Finn's offered hug. "Since when Finn? Is it possible Sam is whom Blaine cheated on me with?"
Finn shook his head. "No, no. No, I don't think so dude. And I mean, maybe I'm reading it all wrong. Maybe it's just Blaine being Blaine and all charming and shit. And Sam, he's either like oblivious to it all or he just really doesn't care. Except that, they are like best friends."
"So this has been going on since Blaine and I broke up?" Kurt sniffled. He shifted so instead of being hugged by Finn, he was now leaning up against him, tucked into his side, one of Finn's arms across the back of his shoulders.
"Yeah, I guess. I mean they campaigned together for student government, but I wasn't there for that," Finn said. "I've only really noticed it the last couple of weeks. I mean it's super weird too because first there is Tina- who is like Blaine's Rachel. Except I think Tina wants to turn Blaine and date him and I'm hoping to god that's not the case with you and Rach- no offense"
Kurt shuddered in Finn's arms. "None taken- believe me that thought is scarier than, well scarier than the thought of Coach Sylvester and Mr. Schue."
"Ewww," Finn replied. "Anyhow, so Tina is chasing Blaine, and Blaine is chasing Sam. Sam is still dating Britt. In fact, they got like fake married or something because they thought the world was going to end." Finn paused for a second when he realised Kurt was tucked into his side; under his arm. "And then Blaine, Tina and Sam are like BFFs almost always together. Kinda like you and me and Rach last year."
"Why does everyone seem to think high school proposals are a good idea?" Kurt asked, tilting his head up to look at Finn.
"I don't know dude," Finn said as he shook his head. "Kinda asking the wrong guy I think."
"What about Brittany?" Kurt asked softly. "What does she think about this Sam and Blaine thing or the Sam and Blaine and Tina?"
"I don't think she cares about it," Finn said sadly. "Maybe I'm making too big a deal out of it. Maybe she's never noticed. I mean sometimes I find her just aimlessly wandering the school- I think she is looking for Santana."
"Ouch," Kurt said as he leaned forward to grab the cheesecake and the forks, passing one to Finn. He pressed the enter button on the remote and pressed play, starting 'We Bought a Zoo'. Kurt leaned back against the sofa; Finn's arm still stretched out behind him. Kurt ate a couple of mouthfuls of the cheesecake before he noticed Finn wasn't eating any.
"I hope you're not planning on allowing me to eat this all on my own," Kurt huffed at Finn.
"Was thinking about it," Finn joked. "You seemed to be enjoying it." Finn pulled his arm from behind Kurt and dug into the cheesecake. Kurt grabbed the quart of milk and took a swig straight from the carton before passing it to Finn. They traded, milk, cheesecake, milk, cheesecake, off and on until both were finished.
Kurt leaned forward to put the empty cheesecake container, the forks and the empty carton of milk on the table. Finn stretched out, swinging his legs up onto the little table. When Kurt sat back, he happily noted that Finn's arm was stretched out behind him again. Kurt swung his legs up onto the sofa, tucking them under himself. Kurt leaned back into Finn, resting his head against Finn's shoulder.
"Did you ever think we'd be this comfortable around each other?" Kurt mused quietly while they watched the movie.
Finn chuckled softly. "Sophomore year, no way. Junior year, maybe. By Senior year, somehow we were. What about you? Did you ever think we could be friends; brothers after the basement incident?"
"No," Kurt replied simply. "I'm still not sure I know how or why Dad let you back into the house."
"I really didn't mean anything by it," Finn started. "Well, I did, but I didn't. I know; it doesn't make sense."
"I know," Kurt whispered. "I know I wasn't entirely innocent either. I pushed and pushed even though you tried to be nice and let me know you weren't interested without being mean."
Finn rubbed at Kurt's arm for a while as they launched into silence again, focusing on the movie.
When the movie ended, Kurt stood up and stretched before taking their garbage to the kitchen. He stopped by Rachel's room to say goodnight to Finn, but Finn wasn't there. He walked into his room and found Finn already stretched out under the covers, the lamp on Kurt's usual side of the bed, the only light on.
Kurt shook his head, trying to clear what seemed like a hallucination he was obviously having. "Why are you in my bed Finn?"
"You didn't sleep well last night, I didn't sleep so great either. I know I was sleeping better when I was sleeping here, and I think you were too," Finn explained. "So what's wrong?"
Kurt felt his eyes widen. "So you want to sleep with me? I mean; you want to cuddle with me? You want to sleep in my bed?" Kurt huffed. "No matter how I say it Finn, it sounds ridiculous!"
"I really don't care Kurt," Finn said. "Wait that didn't come out right either. I do care, about you. It's been a rough couple of months; it's going to be another rough couple of months with Burt. If I can do something, anything, to help you, to support you, I'm going to do it."
Kurt blinked at Finn a couple of times. "Fine!" He huffed as he turned his back to Finn and shimmied out of his dress pants. He pulled out a pair of clean boxers and a fitted tee shirt from a drawer before he shucked his skimpy underwear in favour of his boxers. Kurt unbuttoned his shirt, sliding it off before putting on his tee shirt. Kurt bent over to remove his socks and then picked up all of his clothes and put them in the hamper.
Kurt slipped in between the covers, noticing Finn had his back turned. Kurt sighed loudly and turned away from Finn, reaching to turn off the lamp. Kurt tossed and turned for a few moments, trying to settle in his bed. He laid on his back, his arms folded across his chest and yawned.
"If it makes you that uncomfortable, maybe I should go sleep in Rachel's bed," Finn whispered sleepily from beside him. Out of the corner of his eye, Kurt could see Finn was now turned to face him, one arm tucked under the pillow he was laying on.
"I'm not the one that is uncomfortable," Kurt protested. "You turned around while I was changing."
"You turned away from me first to get undressed Kurt," Finn argued. "I thought I was just respecting your privacy."
Kurt scoffed into the darkness. "So you wanted to watch me undress?"
"I didn't mean it like that! Don't put words in my mouth." Finn chuckled. "Now are you going to shush up and go to sleep already or what?"
Kurt rolled his eyes and smirked. "Good night Finn," he whispered.
"Night Kurt," Finn whispered back before he shifted onto his stomach and threw a leg and arm over Kurt's body. Kurt had crawled into bed under all the blankets again, and Finn like normal was only under the top couple, so there were still layers of blankets between them. The weight and the warmth of Finn's body, coupled with that of the blankets made Kurt smile and he pulled his blankets slightly higher up his chest.
It was still and quiet in the room for a long time, and Kurt thought perhaps Finn was already asleep. Kurt sighed contentedly and wondered if he'd ever felt quite so protected and he knew the answer was no, not even the handful of times he'd laid like this with Blaine.
"That was a happy sigh right?" Finn's voice was husky with sleep and slightly muffled by the pillow.
"Mm-hmm," Kurt murmured in agreement.
"Better than a million blankets?" Finn whispered as he pulled Kurt slightly closer to him.
"Yes," Kurt said softly.
Finn turned his head slightly and pressed a light kiss to Kurt's hair on the side of his head. "Sleep now, Kurt," he mumbled.
Kurt closed his eyes and let sleep overtake him.
000
Late afternoon on New Years Eve, Kurt and Finn left the loft and made their way towards Manhattan. Kurt had found a little greasy spoon diner for them to have dinner at before making their way to Times Square.
"How'd you find this place Kurt?" Finn asked as he looked over the four page menu. "I can't even decide what I want, it all sounds good and this place smells amazing."
"I sent an email around to some co-workers," Kurt explained. "Chase actually recommended it and Isabelle thought you would especially like it. I wonder what the soup of the day is?"
"I could go for some soup," Finn agreed. "As a starter."
"So, how about a cup of soup as a starter- if it's a good kind," Kurt said. "Oh, look they have triple decker clubhouse sandwiches. I think I'll have that with a tossed salad instead of fries."
"I'm leaning towards the Monte Cristo myself," Finn said. "But I'm getting fries. Wanna share an order of onion rings though?"
Kurt nodded. "Think we'll feel like dessert?"
Finn shrugged. "I always feel like dessert. If nothing else, a mug of hot chocolate at the end to warm us up on the inside before we go out into the cold for a couple of hours. And maybe some warm pie."
"If I don't think I can eat a whole slice of pie and drink a mug of hot chocolate, will you share your pie with me?" Kurt asked.
Finn rolled his eyes. "Order your pie, if you can't finish it, I will. I promise."
A young girl, maybe only a couple of years older than they were, with shoulder length red curly hair tied back in a ponytail and thick glasses, wearing a pair of khakis and a black t-shirt with a white half apron and a pair of sneakers, approached the brothers with a carafe of coffee in one hand and a notepad in the other. "Good evening boys, the name's Charlotte but mostly everyone calls me Charlie. Can I start you two out with some coffee or something else to drink tonight?"
Kurt flipped over the cup on his side of the table and pushed it towards Charlie for her to fill. Finn on the other hand, pushed his away.
Charlie filled Kurt's cup to the brim before setting down the carafe. She flipped open her note pad and pulled a pen out from behind her ear. "What can I get you to drink sweetheart?" She flashed a dazzling smile at Finn.
"I'll have a chocolate coconut shake please." Finn smiled back at the girl.
"Oh, that sounds good," Kurt added.
"Should I bring you one too cutie?" Charlie turned her charm on Kurt and he tried to suppress his laughter.
Kurt shook his head wildly before offering a pout in Finn's direction.
Finn rolled his eyes and sighed. "Better bring two straws with the shake Charlie. Apparently I'm sharing."
"One shake, two straws. Got it." Charlie scribbled in her notepad. "You fellas about ready to order or do you need some time?"
"What's the soup of the day?" Kurt inquired.
"We've got two today. Beef barley or creamy potato bacon." Charlie chirped. "The special tonight is the steak sandwich with a skewer of shrimp. Served with mashed potatoes and veggies or onion rings and coleslaw. Comes with a starter soup or salad, coffee or tea and dessert for $16.95."
Kurt looked across at Finn who nodded. "I think we're ready to order now," Kurt said. "I'll have a cup of the beef barley to start. Then I'd like the triple decker clubhouse on whole grain with a tossed salad instead of fries. French dressing on the side if you have it, if not, Ranch."
"We've got French," Charlie said then she turned to face Finn. "What about you, sweetheart?"
"I'll start with a bowl of the creamy soup," Finn began. "Then I'd like to get the Monte Cristo with fries. And we're going to share an order of onion rings too."
"White or wheat or whole grain bread for you sandwich?"
"White," Finn said decidedly.
"I'll be back right away with your shake and your soups boys," Charlie said as she slid her pen back behind her ear and picked up her carafe. True to her word, Charlie returned quickly with the cups of soup and Finn's milkshake. "Here you go boys, enjoy." She slid their food in front of them.
Finn instantly crushed his crackers into his soup and had a couple of spoonfuls while Kurt waited for his to cool slightly.
"This is so good Kurt, you've got to try it!" Finn said as he gestured to his soup.
Kurt moved to stick his spoon into Finn's soup but Finn looked at him weirdly, offering him a taste off his own spoon. Kurt swallowed the taste of soup and his eyes widened. "Oh, that is good. I'm glad I didn't order it though, I'd just want more and as it is, I'm going to have to step up my after the holidays workouts if I expect to wear some of those skimpy dance outfits they recommend at NYADA."
"Would you stop that Kurt?" Finn asked. "You look great. You always look great. I know you don't always think so, but you do."
Kurt felt his cheeks redden and he ducked his head, focusing on his soup.
"Don't I get a taste of yours too?" Finn teased as he poked at Kurt's cup with his spoon.
Kurt looked up and pushed the cup towards Finn, offering him a taste as well.
"Oh that's good soup too," Finn said as he tasted it. "When I come back next time, we should come down here just for soup."
"You're going to come back?" Kurt looked at Finn.
"I'm sure I'll be back at some point," Finn chuckled. "You're going to be here at least four years at NYADA right? And then what, Broadway is the dream- so I guess this means this is where you're going to be forever now."
Kurt shrugged his shoulders. "Forever's a long time Finn. What if NYADA isn't a right fit? What if I don't make it on Broadway? What if something happens to Dad?"
Finn reached across the table and pulled one of Kurt's hands into his own. "NYADA is a right fit- you're amazing. Broadway might not work out, but your talents are not just singing and dancing. And Dad, is going to be fine. He's going to help pass legislation so his son can legally marry the man of his dreams." Finn looked up, as if he was watching an invisible tv above Kurt's head. "You know, Burt and mom are going to be those amazing grandparents that spoil their grandchildren rotten. And our family, we already know Kurt, that family is not just blood; it's love. So it won't matter if your children are not biologically yours. Mom and Dad are going to love them just as much as they love both of us."
Kurt looked up at Finn with wet eyes. "You're getting really good at these little pep talks and motivational speeches, Mr. Teacher."
"Nah," Finn shrugged. "I'm just getting better at speaking Kurt. It's like I know you or something. I know just what you need." He winked as he let go of Kurt's hand and Kurt swiped at his eyes with his napkin.
"So how was the soup boys?" Charlie asked as she came back to clear away their cups.
"It was so good, we're going to have to come back just for soup the next time I'm in the city," Finn explained with a polite smile.
"Not from around here then?" Charlie asked.
"No, we're from Lima, Ohio," Finn said. "But Kurt's going to NYADA now, and is going to be on Broadway one day. So New York is his home now."
"Big plans for New Years Eve then?"
"We're going to go down to Times Square," Kurt said.
Charlie smiled and nodded before she walked away from their table. She returned almost right away with their meals. "I've got the whole grain clubhouse with salad and french dressing for the cutie, a Monte Cristo with fries for you sweetheart, and a plate of onion rings for you boys to share. Can I get you anything else? More coffee? Another shake?"
"No coffee," Kurt replied. "And we haven't even touched the shake yet."
"Well, just holler if you need something. Enjoy!" Charlie said as she walked away.
Kurt and Finn ate in a companionable silence, sharing Finn's milk shake and the onion rings. The chocolate coconut shake was easily one of the best Kurt had ever had. Kurt has very happy with the recommendation; the food was good, the atmosphere pleasant and no one seemed to bat an eyelash at the two boys eating together and laughing from time to time at something the other had said.
Charlie stopped by their table a couple of times to check on them while they ate and in the end they did order a second shake to share. Finn also asked Charlie if she knew what made the Monte Crisco taste different. She laughed because not many people noticed apparently, but the chef liked to add a dash of cinnamon to the egg mixture. And Finn nodded right away, placing the seemingly familiar taste.
As Kurt pushed away his now empty plate, Charlie appeared again. "Did you save room for dessert?"
"Talk to me about pie," Finn said, a smile on his face. "What kinds do you have?"
Charlie tilted her head to the side. "We have banana cream pie, pecan pie and a key lime pie."
Kurt frowned as he looked at Finn. "I think we were both hoping for something we could get heated up, like apple or pumpkin pie to help warm us up before we go back out."
"We'll take two large hot chocolates for sure," Finn interrupted. "What else is on your dessert menu?"
"We have an apple cranberry crisp that I can heat up for you boys," Charlie offered. She was rewarded with a large dazzling smile from Finn and an eager nod from Kurt. "Would you like vanilla ice cream or some whipped cream? And should I bring a piece each or one to share?" Charlie smiled slyly.
"A piece each," Finn declared. "I'll finish off whatever Kurt can't. And whipped cream."
000
Finn slowed his steps dramatically as the number of people around them seemed to increase almost instantly. The crowd and the noise made it easy to tell they were nearing Time Square but Finn honestly had no idea where he was going; it would be easier to let Kurt take the lead. He looked over at the other young man and smiled to himself as he noticed the very tip of Kurt's nose was cherry red. The temperature hadn't really dropped while they were eating dinner but the winds had picked up and whenever they were not sheltered from the wind by the tall buildings, even Finn could feel the bitter cold bite through the denim of his jeans and thin cotton of his gloves.
As they stepped off the sidewalk to cross a somewhat busy intersection, Finn noticed Kurt rubbing his hands up and down his thighs, then his arms before finally bringing his hands up and blowing on his leather wrapped hands and adjusting his scarf. As they crossed and stepped into the windbreak offered by the city buildings, Finn slowed and reached out to grab Kurt's arm.
Kurt stopped and turned with wide eyes, "What-" he stammered before he realized it was just Finn. "Why are we stopping?"
"Are you cold?" Finn asked as his gloved fingers rubbed at Kurt's charcoal grey wool coat. "I guess this doesn't keep the wind out so great."
Kurt shrugged. "I get a little chilled when we're in the wind but I'm fine."
Finn looked down at the dress pants Kurt was wearing. "I bet jeans would have been warmer."
"I suppose," Kurt mumbled as he adjusted his scarf up around his ears again.
"At least put your hood up, or take my hat," Finn offered as he snatched his knitted hat off his head.
Kurt shook his head violently and stepped away from Finn. "Don't you dare, Finn Hudson!" he threatened. "It'll wreck my hair."
"Is there a reason you need to look your absolute best?" Finn joked as he pulled his hat back on and down over his ears. "Hoping for a New Years hookup?"
"You never know," Kurt offered. "Maybe my Mr. New York is here tonight. Maybe we'll meet. Maybe we'll share our first kiss at midnight."
Finn swallowed thickly. For some reason, hearing Kurt say that made his stomach feel uneasy. Maybe he had eaten too much at the diner. "At least put up your hood, Dude. Your hair won't get too messed up and you won't freeze."
Kurt huffed as he pulled his hood up. "Better Mr. Bossypants." he sighed.
"M-muc-ch," Finn stammered and then cleared his throat to cover it. The uneasy feeling in his stomach increased. Kurt began following the growing crowd again but thanks to his long legs Finn was able to catch up quickly. New York City crowds were pushy though and it didn't seem to matter how close behind Kurt Finn was, someone was always trying to step in between them and around them, past them.
Finn panicked for a moment thinking about being separated from Kurt in a city he was unfamiliar with. That made him think of Kurt being separated from him and surrounded by drunken douchebags. Finn took two large steps and moved his way beside Kurt, slinging his arm around Kurt's shoulders. "The crowd is getting thicker and people keep trying to squish in between us." Finn could see and feel Kurt's posture relax slightly into his and it made him smile. "Last thing I need is for us to get separated down here."
Kurt nodded. "The crowds take some getting used to. Whenever Rachel and I are out together and it get's really crowded, we hold hands or link arms."
Finn smirked. The thought of his tiny ex-girlfriend and his stepbrother walking around hand in hand in New York was kind of funny and kind of heartbreaking all at the same time. "This might help keep you warmer too." Finn suggested as he tried to get an image of Kurt and Rachel out of his mind.
Kurt murmured his agreement. "God, you're like a furnace or something," he quipped as he snuggled further into Finn's side, tucking himself into the crook of the taller man's shoulder.
"You can always just elbow me in the ribs if you see your 'Mr. New York'," Finn jokingly offered as Kurt wrapped both of his arms around Finn's torso, ensuring they would not be able to be simply pushed or jostled apart. "And I'll let go." Finn tried to sneak a look at Kurt, but their position and Kurt's hood shielded him. The unsettled feeling in Finn's stomach continued to grow, now residing ironically just below where Kurt's arm was stretched across him.
The noise, not only of the crowd but also music increased and soon they were at their destination, standing side by side trying not to be jostled apart by the rambunctious crowd. Beside him, Finn could feel Kurt sort of dancing along to the music. He reached out and pushed back Kurt's hood slightly so he could look at him. Kurt's eyes were sparkling with enjoyment, but underneath there was a sadness that Finn knew not just anyone would see. But Finn knew it- and it wasn't just one thing. It was still partially the break up with Blaine. It was being in New York and being terrified. It was actually about to be a NYADA student. It was Burt's health. It was being away from home.
"Any resolutions for 2013?" Finn leaned down and said loudly, to be heard over the noise.
Kurt looked up at Finn, mouth stretched in a wide smile. "Try not to make too big a fool of myself." Kurt moved away from Finn's side and stood in front of him moving to the music; he held his hands out to Finn to join him.
Finn grabbed Kurt's leather wrapped hands in his cloth ones and tried to follow Kurt's lead and the pulsing beat of a song blasting through Times Square. Finn shook his head and smiled as the song changed and he took advantage of the relative quiet to speak again. "I really think 2013 is going to be your year Kurt. I can feel it." When Kurt's smile widened, Finn continued. "You're finally here in New York City, your city of dreams. You're going to be starting at NYADA right away. You've got an awesome job at ; ironically because of something that people used to try to tear you down for."
Kurt's stepped closer to Finn and threw his arms around Finn, crushing their chests together. Kurt reached up on his tip toes, his breath warm and tickling at the side of Finn's head as the music began again. "All of that may be true, but 2013 is also going to be the year that Dad battles cancer and we don't know how that will end."
Finn spoke loudly as the music continued to pulse loudly around them as Kurt more or less hung off of him. "He's going to beat it. Burt's strong." Finn brought his hands up to run up and down Kurt's back in comfort.
Kurt stepped back, opening the space between them again as he started swaying to the beat again. Finn tried to follow along, feeling like he was constantly watching his feet so he wouldn't step on Kurt's and also trying to keep his arms and hands close to his body so he didn't accidentally injure someone. Kurt moved around behind Finn and stretched up tall, putting his hands on Finn's shoulders, pushing slightly encouraging him to slouch slightly.
"Not that I need a guy to complete me," Kurt mused, his voice loud in Finn's ear. "But how awesome can 2013 really be when I don't even have a boyfriend or someone to kiss me and ring in the New Year?" Kurt tapped his shoulders again as he moved around to back in front of Finn.
Finn tensed slightly- the unsettled feeling was growing again. Finn tried not to be too loud and draw attention, but loud enough for Kurt to hear him over the music. "I'm sure the lack of a boyfriend won't slow you down too much. Like you said, you don't really need a guy." Finn shifted slightly and brought a hand up to tip Kurt's chin up to look at him. "You could easily remedy the boyfriend front if you wanted. I mean there is always Blaine if you can ever get past everything and want to be with him again. Or Adam- he seemed pretty willing to get to know you better. Or who knows who else you're about to meet."
Finn took a deep breath and closed his eyes trying to settle that growing feeling in his stomach. The song ended and the noise quietened some. "This might be the year you meet the love of your life," he whispered as he opened his eyes again. He dropped his fingers from under Kurt's chin.
When the music began again, instead of dancing, Kurt snuggled back into the side of Finn's body. Finn felt Kurt wrap his arms around him in a hug and leaned his head against Finn's chest. Finn hoped that Kurt would think the pounding in his chest was the pulse of the music and not his heart that was beating so loudly and wildly. Finn's face felt warm and flushed in comparison to the cool bitterness of the winter wind whipping around them.
Kurt's voice was soft when he spoke again despite the noise, so Finn almost missed what he said. "...I'm just not sure this, New York, is my home. It still feels so strange. I still feel like Lima should be home, but I feel so far away, so far removed."
"Lima will always be home if you want it to be. You'll always be welcome there by the people that love you. And we can always come here to you. Just say the word." Finn found himself wondering if Kurt would ever return to Lima, even to visit. "Mom and Burt have already told me the frequent flier miles they've been racking up are there for you and I to use. I mean they might get upset if we take off to Mexico for spring break or something, although maybe not if we go together. But I think the point is for you to come home to visit or for me to come to New York."
Finn felt Kurt nod. "Dad said pretty much the same thing to me. I mean January is going to be pretty busy for us probably, and I'm coming home in February for the wedding for sure. But maybe in March…" he trailed off.
"Yeah, maybe March," Finn agreed although there was nothing to really agree to. He spun Kurt around as another song they both recognized began. Maybe it was because no one but Kurt knew him, maybe it was because outside of high school Finn Hudson just didn't care, but Finn felt somewhat relaxed and at ease with his bad dancing in the middle of the Times Square crowd. He also felt strangely at ease dancing with a guy- except it wasn't just a guy, it was Kurt and Finn honestly didn't know what to make of that.
000
It felt like hardly anytime had passed before they began the iconic countdown to midnight. Finn felt a strange twinge of sadness as he thought about Kurt's words from earlier about not having someone to kiss at midnight. With his arm across the back of Kurt's shoulders again, Finn squeezed Kurt's shoulder lightly as they counted with the crowd.
Ten, Finn felt that uneasiness in his stomach again.
Nine, he looked around and noticed what seemed like an abundance of couples around them.
Eight, Kurt's eyes were watching him, but Finn didn't know why.
Seven, Kurt wishes he was here with someone else Finn mused.
Six, and yet I can't think of anywhere or anyone else I'd rather be with right now.
Five, once upon a time Kurt might have even tried to kiss me at midnight.
Four, Finn found himself lost in a spinning time warp of memories. Starting with the hug they had shared during the weekend in New York when both of their relationships had spun out and moving backwards to graduation, Finn and Kurt standing together trying to pretend their hearts were not breaking when only Rachel's New York dream was offered, then to the Senior class president election. Finn had no idea how he could have possibly kept his girlfriend and voted for Kurt at the same time if she hadn't pulled out of the race. Although she probably should have stayed out of it all together. And she definitely should not have tried to stuff the ballots.
Three, Finn felt his lips twist in a smile as he remembered their parents wedding. The song he had sung and danced to with Kurt; how happy Kurt had been, but that morphed into how utterly devastated Kurt had been during Burt's heart attack and subsequent coma. Then there was the gaga hallway incident and all the way back to the basement- when Finn had crushed everything Kurt had built up about him.
Two, What if I kissed him? Finn thought to himself.
One, his eyes were wide, unblinking, his heart loud in his ears, pounding like a drum.
Happy New Year! Feeling something he couldn't describe, Finn leaned over and cupped Kurt's rosy, wind chapped cheeks in his gloved hands. He brought his lips down, hovering over Kurt's own for a minute, before he chickened out and moved them to the middle of Kurt's forehead, pressing a tender kiss to the cool skin. Finn then rested his forehead against Kurt's, closing his eyes against Kurt's penetrating gaze as he tried to remember how to breathe without hyperventilating. When he opened his eyes, he pulled Kurt into a hug.
"Happy New Year, Kurt!" Finn said his own voice sounding strange to his ears.
Kurt didn't respond right away other than to tighten his hold on Finn. When he finally let go of Finn, he didn't look up at Finn or begin a barrage of questions like Finn was anticipating. Instead, Kurt tucked himself in under Finn's arm again and patted him lightly on the chest.
"Let's go home," he said simply.
The brothers retraced their earlier steps into the heart of Manhattan in an almost awkward silence until they passed the diner where they had eaten a couple of hours prior. Finn could tell Kurt was cold.
"Wanna go in and grab another hot chocolate?" he offered.
Kurt said nothing, but allowed himself to be pulled into the diner. Charlie spotted the boys and waved at them from the table she was clearing. When Finn attempted to move them over to a booth, Kurt planted his feet and shook his head.
"To go," he started simply. "Your flight back to Lima is tomorrow and it's going to take us a while to get back to the loft as it is."
Finn nodded his agreement and tilted his head towards the cash register. Charlie appeared almost instantaneously. "How was Times Square?" she smiled at Finn.
"Loud, crowded, noisy, congested, but fun," Finn related. "I'm glad we went." He could feel Kurt's eyes on him. "But it was cold. I'm cold; Kurt here is probably downright frozen, and I really don't want to crawl into bed beside a human popsicle tonight."
In his head, that sentence had seemed funny. Instead, it just stirred up that unsettled feeling a little more and made Kurt stiffen beside him. To her credit, Charlie didn't seem to react at all.
"Two more hot chocolates coming right up boys." She smiled graciously. "To go?" she inquired and Finn nodded his head.
Finn reached back into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, pulling out a couple of dollars and putting them on the counter. Kurt had moved from under Finn's arm once they stepped into the diner, and he was currently leaning against the wall, staring at his boots. Charlie came over with the two cups of hot chocolate to go and inclined her head towards Kurt.
"Did he not have a good time?" Charlie asked as she took Finn's money and watched as he deposited the change in her tip jar.
Finn shook his head. "No, I think he had an ok time. There's just…" Finn paused as he struggled to find the right word, "..a lot of stuff going on. With him...with us… in general." Finn picked up the two cups without lids and held one out towards Kurt.
"Hot chocolate time," Finn said, and Kurt looked up from studying his boots.
Kurt approached Finn, removing his gloves and shoving them into the pocket of his coat.
"Thanks," he mumbled as he reached out with his index finger and scooped off the whipped cream and then sucked the finger into his mouth. "Happy New Year Charlie." Kurt capped the lid on his hot chocolate and made his way towards the door.
"I guess that's my cue," Finn said as he watched Kurt exit the diner. "Maybe I'll see you here again next time I'm in town."
"Here," Charlie plucked a business card from the holder beside the register, "just give a call, and they should be able to tell you when I'm working." Finn noticed Charlie was watching Kurt out on the sidewalk. "See if you can't get him to come in from time to time even if you're not around. I'll take care of him for ya."
Finn could feel his cheeks heat with a blush. Not knowing quite how to respond to that, Finn opted just to nod and smile. "I'll try. Happy New Year!" Finn waved over his shoulder as he joined Kurt out on the sidewalk. As soon as Finn had crossed the threshold, Kurt began walking. Finn caught up no problem but as he stretched out his arm around Kurt's shoulders, Kurt side-stepped Finn and away from him.
"There isn't a crowd anymore and thanks to the hot chocolate, I'm plenty warm now," Kurt explained. He kept walking, taking sips of his beverage and avoiding Finn's eyes.
"O-kay then," Finn drawled as he followed behind Kurt, drinking his hot chocolate and trying hard not to think about why he almost felt naked without Kurt pressed up against him. He was also trying not to think about how he had possibly ruined things between him and Kurt again if Kurt's icy demeanor was any indication. Finn knew that his younger self would have never guessed how important Kurt Hummel would become to him- as his brother and pretty much his best friend.
Kurt was still in frosty mode when they returned to the loft, and Finn was torn between wanting to pout about it and wanting to scream at Kurt about it. Finn figured neither was a good idea. He could leave it all up to Kurt, but Finn suspected that might actually cause more problems. After they had shed their outerwear and hung it up on the rack by the door to the loft, Finn followed Kurt to his room. Finn stood in the doorway and crossed and then uncrossed his arms in front of his chest.
"Look, we both know I'm not the smartest guy in the crowd and I often do and say things without really thinking them through because it feels right at the time," Finn said. "But I've got hours; just hours left here dude, and up until now, I've pretty much had a great Christmas if you leave Burt's health out of it."
Kurt turned from where he was standing at his dresser with a pair of real pajama pants and long sleeve shirt in his hand. He tilted his head to the side and looked at Finn like he was seeing him for the first time. He opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again several times before he actually said anything. It was the most flustered Finn could ever recall seeing Kurt.
"Do you realize that you essentially told the cute, bubbly waitress that you were going to sleep with me tonight?" Kurt's voice was soft and choked with emotion.
"As soon as the words left my mouth I realized that they were probably not the best choice," Finn admitted. "But it's the truth. I do plan on crawling into that bed with you tonight and snuggling. I would prefer it if you weren't a human popsicle." Finn smiled sadly. "Sure, maybe it's weird, except that it doesn't really feel weird to me." Finn shook his head, "I don't know how to explain it. But if someone thinks it's weird or something , well that's their problem, not ours." Finn sighed loudly. "I don't really care what some waitress in a diner thinks of me, thinks of us. Although FYI dude, I totally think she thinks we're together 'together' and she doesn't seem bothered by it."
"You know I could care less what someone else thinks of me, Finn," Kurt said. "But you, you've always cared. And I care about what people think of you. I don't want people to get the wrong impression about you because of me."
"You know what I've learned, Kurt?" Finn asked. "If someone is going to judge me because of you, because you're gay- because we're friends, because you're my brother, because we are close- then fuck them! I'm not going to be able to stop them from thinking that way." Finn stepped into the room and closer to Kurt. "But I can stop letting it bother me."
Kurt took a deep breath and nodded. "You kissed me, at midnight, on New Years Eve, in public," he accused.
Finn sighed as he grabbed Kurt by the biceps and held onto him, keeping them an arms distance apart. "You were the one complaining about not having someone to kiss at midnight," Finn said. "It was just a kiss, on the forehead, which I've done dozens of times. And we were surrounded by thousands of people kissing." Finn could feel the coldness still coming off Kurt, and he frowned slightly. "I know, you probably would have preferred to be with someone else; Blaine, Adam, some amazing gay guy in the future, but I don't know; I just kinda felt like there was no one else I would have wanted to spend tonight with dude. And the only place I would have wanted to be was where you were."
Kurt's eyes were damp, and a couple of tears snaked down his still rosy and wind chapped cheeks. Finn reached out and dried the tears with the pad of his thumb. "Please don't cry," he pleaded.
Kurt nodded and bit at his lip as he blinked rapidly a few times trying to clear his eyes. "There is no one else I wanted to be with tonight either Finn," he said softly and he took another step closer to him.
"Shit Kurt, you're still ice cold," Finn complained.
Kurt shrugged. "I know. That's why I pulled out the long pyjama pants and a long sleeved tee for tonight."
"You know that's not the best way to warm yourself up right?" Finn asked. "It's going to be weird, but I'm putting it out there. As much skin to skin contact as possible, boxers and tees or just boxers and under the same blankets."
"Finn," Kurt began to protest but Finn cut him off with a finger over his lips.
"I don't want to go home knowing you're here suffering with a cold alone. Let me help warm you up."
Kurt finally nodded, and Finn let go of him and they moved each to their side of the bed and undressed with their backs to each other. Finn was undressed first and slid in under all the blankets. When Kurt finished, he got into bed under the mountains of blankets he reached over and shut off the lamp. Finn had his arm stretched out already for Kurt to tuck himself back into the side of Finn's body like he had for most of the night. Kurt pillowed his head against Finn's chest.
Finn reached over and softly pressed another kiss to Kurt's forehead. "Happy New Year, Kurt."
"Happy New Year, Finn," Kurt exclaimed. He lifted his head and moved to kiss Finn on the cheek. However, the uneasy feeling in Finn's stomach had returned, and there was a tiny voice inside Finn's head urging him on. He turned his head slightly, resolving not to chicken out this time, and instead of Kurt's planned kiss on the cheek; their lips ended up colliding in a kiss. Finn almost expected Kurt to pull away instantly but instead he seemed almost too stunned to move; Kurt continued to press his lips against Finn's.
Finn's brought his left hand up gently to cup Kurt's cheek as he continued to kiss Kurt. This was different; this was new, but it was good, in fact, Kurt was a very good kisser. Surprisingly, Finn was enjoying the unexpected kiss, especially when Kurt made a breathy little moan like sound before he finally pulled away, his eyes wide. Finn laughed softly; then he pressed his lips to Kurt's once more, a little more chastely. He rubbed his hands over the chilled skin of Kurt's back and arms. "Good night, Kurt- sweet dreams."