Chapter 5- Coming Clean
"How was your visit with Kurt? How was the wedding?" Travis asked when Finn returned to his dorm several days later.
"Uh," Finn chuckled, "the wedding didn't happen. But it was still a pretty good party." Finn threw his jacket across the desk and unpacked the few things in his duffle bag.
"Lot's of singing I bet," Travis said.
"Yes, there was a lot of singing," Finn said.
"And your visit with Kurt?" Travis asked.
Finn flopped down on his bed and rolled over onto his back, staring up the ceiling. "It was good. Sometimes I think I should have gone to New York too. Even if I was just hauling garbage or something."
"Kurt makes living in New York sound good huh?" Travis asked.
"What? No. I mean I still don't think I am New York good at anything, but I mean; Kurt's been gone like two hours, and I'm already missing him." Finn rolled over and looked at Travis. "It sucks that he's just not across the hall. That I won't see him at breakfast. That he won't bring me warm milk and scritch his fingers through my hair until I'm sleepy."
Travis blinked at Finn a couple of times before he spoke again. "Puck came by a couple of times. He didn't realize you were staying at home while Kurt was in town. Kinda strange you didn't tell your best friend that."
"It was a spur of the moment decision," Finn said.
"He also tagged you in a couple of photos and videos from the wedding on facebook." Travis looked at Finn. "You sang with Kurt. You danced with Kurt."
Finn shrugged, "He's my brother. We don't get to sing together as much as we would like, and it's becoming a wedding tradition for us to dance together now."
"I know you guys are close. And it's probably easiest to describe your relationship with the word brother, but you're not really related," Travis said.
"I know that," Finn scoffed.
"The way you talk about him. The way you look at him," Travis said. "What I don't understand is why aren't you together, like a couple, romantically?"
"What? I… We...uh," Finn stammered, his eyes wide. "It's complicated, okay?"
"What's so complicated about it?" Travis asked. "You care about each other. It's clear."
"Of course we do Travis. You don't go through what Kurt and I have been through and not care about each other." Finn huffed and rolled over onto his back again.
"I'm not even sure I've cared for a couple of the guys I've dated as much as I can tell you care about Kurt," Travis explained. At Finn's shocked expression he pressed on. "I know you have fun together, but why do you have fun together?"
"He makes me laugh. He teaches me things, but he never makes me feel stupid. He's patient with me; he makes me feel like I could do anything," Finn said.
"Do you find it easy to talk to him?" Travis asked.
"I can talk to Kurt about almost anything. I trust him with everything," Finn said.
"Would you date Kurt if he was a girl?"
"Sure," Finn said. "But he's not, so there is no point in discussing it."
"Would you date him even if he was a girl that was your step-sister?" Travis asked.
"Probably. It's not like we're really related, right?" Finn said.
"Do you think he's attractive?"
"What? C'mon, Travis!" Finn said.
"Answer the question, Finn," Travis said.
"Fine." Finn threw his hands in the air. "He's fucking beautiful, okay?! Was that what you wanted to hear?"
Travis shook his head. "This isn't about what I want to hear. It's about what you need to hear."
000
In New York, at the loft, Kurt unpacked his suitcase, taking a white and black striped hoodie from his suitcase and putting it on his bed. He unpacked the bottle of his mom's perfume and placed it on top of his dresser. When he had successfully put everything away, Kurt changed into a warm pair of flannel pants and long sleeve tee shirt, pulling the hoodie he stole from Finn over top. He lifted one arm to his face and inhaled the little bit of Finn's scent that remained on the fabric. Kurt pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts bringing up Finn. He sat down on his bed and tucked his legs under himself before texting a brief message.
I made it back to NY safe and sound Miss you
Miss you too
Now to figure out how to sleep alone
I know Laying here feels like something is missing
I don't think I told you but I had a really good time
I'm glad I had a good time too You're amazing Kurt
Kurt sat in the darkness of his room in the loft, thinking about his trip home. There had been nothing about the trip that he had expected, apart from Blaine. Kurt was grateful that he had stayed in Lima a couple of days later than Santana and Rachel. It gave him more time with his family, and it gave him the whole flight home and drive to the airport to mull things over in his brain. Finn had been maddening quiet on the return drive to the airport and had barely engaged in any conversation Kurt had offered. In the end, Kurt had opted to remain just as silent.
It might have been enough to make Kurt think that Finn was brooding about something or was upset with him, but once Kurt had stopped trying to initiate a conversation, Finn had reached out and placed a large warm hand on Kurt's thigh. He left it there for the majority of the trip, moving it when he needed to but always returning it. Finn didn't even seem to mind when Kurt placed one of his own hands on top of Finn's. Finn's hand did two things to Kurt. It ground Kurt to the moment and almost soothed the raw emotions that were bubbling at the surface, but it didn't change the fact that Kurt was, in fact, leaving again. It also made Kurt think of the night of the wedding.
Kissing Finn, really kissing him, had been in some ways like everything Kurt had imagined all those years ago. But in other ways it was a completely different experience. Kurt had almost expected Finn to be clumsy, eager, and strong- the qualities he saw in him daily. But laying in that bed together, Finn's body blanketing his own, Finn had been soft, gentle, vulnerable and almost hesitant. Perhaps it had to do with Finn's own internal conflict regarding what this could mean about him but in the end, Kurt had really never felt quite so precious to anyone as he had that night with Finn.
There had been sweet and tender moments, kissing and hands exploring. But there had been honest desire and raw lust in the way they marked each other's skin in places, or the way their hips snapped together in a maddening rhythm until Finn had climaxed. Finn's body was heavy against his for a few moments, and Kurt shifted to get his hand on himself for his own release. But Finn had simply gripped his wrist and looked into his eyes. He brought Kurt's hand up to his mouth and pressed a single open mouthed kiss to his palm before pulling that arm up above Kurt's head and holding it there against the mattress. Then Finn shifted his body slightly, allowing him to wrap his other hand around Kurt and stroke him to completion.
Kurt would have been embarrassed that it had taken very few strokes before he climaxed, but the fact was, Kurt had to bite his lip to keep from coming the second Finn's large hand had wrapped around him. It was the kind of thing Kurt had only dreamed possible. And the pleased moan that had erupted from Finn when Kurt coated his hand was the biggest compliment Kurt had ever received.
The buzzing of his phone on the bed pulled Kurt from his thoughts. A quick glance at the caller id and his face lit up in a smile. "Finn," he whispered into the darkness.
"Hey, Kurt," Finn said, his voice deep but whisper soft. "I couldn't sleep, figured you might not be sleeping either."
"I wasn't. Haven't even tried yet honestly." Kurt shifted on the bed and moved under the blankets.
"I'm just staring at the ceiling. I'm thinking too much probably," Finn said.
"About the night of the wedding?" Kurt asked.
"And other things, yes," Finn said.
"You know Finn, it doesn't have to mean anything," Kurt said softly, tears pricking at his eyes.
Finn chuckled darkly. "Except that it does Kurt. It means everything."
"I'm sorry," Kurt sniffled.
"What? No, Kurt." Finn said. "I was trying to say that it did mean something, because it was you. I'd never do that to you. I wouldn't use you like that."
"I know." Kurt said. "It's just we didn't talk about it after. And things were different after that."
"We were staying at the house with Mom and Burt. I thought I was pushing the limits sleeping in your bed with you every night," Finn said. "I figured I could probably explain our falling asleep together or maybe even a kiss. Couldn't figure out a way to explain anything else without giving Burt a heart attack. It wasn't that I didn't want to."
"Oh," Kurt sighed, "I never thought it of like that."
"I miss you," Finn said softly.
"I miss you too," Kurt agreed. "Do you still think we should do something in March? Use some of those air miles?"
"Definitely. I could come back to New York," Finn said.
"You want to be here with Santana and Rachel?" Kurt asked.
"No," Finn huffed, "but I want to come see you. Maybe we can hop a train or something and go somewhere."
"That is a possibility." Kurt yawned. "Thank you. I might actually be able to sleep tonight.
"Yeah?" Finn said. "But I didn't do anything but talk to you."
"It's all I needed apparently." Kurt yawned again. "Night, Finn."
"Night Kurt, sweet dreams," Finn whispered.
000
"So thanks for tagging Kurt and me in all those videos and photos from the wedding. But how did you get them?" Finn asked as he stood over Puck, spotting him on the weight bench the day after Kurt returned to New York.
"Kitty. She was hoping for excellent blackmail material but apparently you are all way too boring." Puck huffed as he pushed the bar of weights off his chest.
"What was she expecting? I think all the excitement happened before the reception," Finn said.
"I don't know. Proof of drunken hook ups? Maybe a couple of brawls?" Puck pushed the bar back onto it's bracket and sat up, taking the offered towel from Finn. "You and Hummel though, being all respectful and happy and singing with your exes though; making us look all grown up and shit."
"Yeah, well maybe Kurt and I didn't think that through too much. Because maybe it sent the wrong message to Blaine and Rachel," Finn said.
"So Kurt isn't looking to get back together with Hobbitson?" Puck asked.
"Um, no I don't think so," Finn said, ducking his head, his cheeks feeling warm.
"Well that's good. I mean; I get that Blaine was good for Kurt, back then, when McKinley was hell. But Kurt seems stronger, better now, with New York at his feet. Seeing him with Blaine is almost like watching him regress," Puck said as they walked towards the locker room.
"Yeah, New York has been pretty good for Kurt. But it's where he's wanted to be since, well as long as I've known him," Finn said.
"So school's going good for him?" Puck asked.
"Yeah, he seems to like it. He and Rachel had a bit of a Diva-Off which he won; although I wouldn't bring that up around Rach. And he's joined a new singing group there," Finn said.
"Is he dating at all?" Puck asked. "He just seems; well, really happy."
"Uh, there is this guy Adam in the singing group. Kurt said they've been on a couple of dates, but it's not serious," Finn said. "But he does really like New York, except that it's so far from here. You know, with Burt being sick and all."
Puck shrugged. "Makes sense, I guess. How is Burt doing?"
"As good as can be expected is what mom says. We spent a bunch of time doing silly 'family' stuff with them while Kurt was in town. You know movie night, family game night. And mom took a thousand pictures," Finn said as he sat down on the bench in front of his locker.
Puck laughed. "Yeah, I can see Carole doing that. I was kind of surprised you went and stayed at home when Kurt was in town, but it probably meant a lot to your mom and Burt to have you both at home again."
Finn smiled. "Yeah. It felt good, all of us under one roof again. Kurt and I didn't even argue too much." Finn pulled his shirt off over his head.
"Dude!" Puck exclaimed. "Where did those come from?" he gestured at a series of bruises and slight bites littering Finns upper chest and shoulders.
Finn looked down and blushed. "Shit!" he exclaimed softly. He looked up at Puck and offered him a wry smile. "Told you I'm over Rachel. I'd thought they would have faded by now; they're a couple of days old."
"Are you finally going to tell me who this mystery girl is?" Puck asked.
"It's not so much of a mystery," Finn said.
"So I know her then," Puck said.
Finn bit his lip and nodded. "You could say that."
"It's not Quinn is it? Because I heard she hooked up with someone at the wedding but…" Puck said.
Finn shook his head. "Not Quinn."
"It's not Brittany or Tina is it? Because you're like their teacher now and shit even if we've all been friends forever," Puck said.
Finn nodded. "Yeah, that is really weird and no, not Brit or Tina. Tina's gone kinda crazy and has a very inappropriate crush on Blaine. Wait, who'd Quinn hook up with though? Was it Mike?"
Puck cast a glance around before lowering his voice. "Santana."
"Wow," Finn said softly. "That's kind of unexpected."
"I know. It would be like you and Kurt finally hooking up," Puck said.
Finn whipped his head around. "Finally? Why would you say finally?" he stammered.
"It's just one of those things; you and Kurt. Like no one expects you to hook up but I doubt anyone would truly be surprised if you did," Puck said.
"Well, it's not a hook up, not really," Finn said softly.
Puck rolled his eyes. "Yes, I know. You don't do hook ups after that disaster with Santana. And you wouldn't do something like that to Kurt."
"Exactly," Finn said. "I can't just fool around with Kurt."
"No, I know. I'm not saying you are, Finn. I'm just saying, if you and Kurt did get together, it wouldn't be that surprising," Puck said.
"You're not surprised then," Finn said looking at Puck out of the corner of his eyes.
"I wouldn't be, no. Not really," Puck said.
"Because it's true," Finn shrugged. "Kurt's the reason I know I'm over Rachel. This," Finn gestured at the hickeys, "was Kurt."
Puck's eyes widened. "Get out of here, Finn."
Finn looked at Puck. "You don't believe me?"
"You're sleeping with Kurt?" Puck asked.
"Not exactly. I mean we've slept together in the same bed and everything, but we haven't had sex. Not really," Finn babbled.
Puck shook his head. "I'm torn between not wanting gay sex details and wanting to know what 'not really had sex' means."
"I wouldn't give you details with a girl. I'm not giving you details with Kurt," Finn said as he snapped a towel at Puck.
"So how long has this been going on?" Puck asked. "No wonder he doesn't want to get back together with Blaine. But- you said he's dating someone in the city."
Finn sighed. "Yeah, he's kind of dating this Adam guy. And I know Kurt wants to be friends with Blaine again, because they were like best friends, like you and I. But I don't think he could ever get past the hurt so it wouldn't be good for them to get back together," Finn explained. "I guess this, between Kurt and I, started at Christmas, but nothing really happened until Kurt came home this time. And it's not like we're dating. Maybe at some point but not right now."
"I wonder how Kurt's BFF Blaine is going to take the news if the two of you do get together?" Puck asked.
"Oh, shit! Dude is totally going to punch me in the nuts," Finn said.
"Better make sure you get the chance to tap that before then." Puck smirked at Finn.
"Dude," Finn hissed. "That's still my br- that's still Kurt you're talking about. Uncool, Puckerman. Uncool." He shook his head at Puck.
000
"Remind me again how you managed to talk me into this," Finn said as he walked into The Ripcord with Travis on Friday the first of March.
"First off, its student night, so even though we're not twenty one we get in by showing a valid college id and get these awesome no drinking wristbands," Travis said as he rolled his eyes. He led them over to a small table near the pool tables. "Secondly, yes, this is a gay bar but I am positive there are straight guys here, straight girls here too. Third, it's 80's night, and I know from your glee club videos that your ex-Rachel has uploaded to you tube, that you love REO Speedwagon, Foreigner and Journey."
Finn shrugged and sighed exasperatedly. "I could have stayed at home and listened to the same music. Could have played the same music on my drums."
"Look Finn, I'm trying to give you to opportunity to explore a little," Travis said. "You're my roommate and a pretty decent one at that. Maybe you can use tonight to help figure out is it just Kurt, guys like Kurt, or guys and girls?"
Finn stared at Travis like he was speaking a different language.
"You said you get the feeling Kurt isn't taking your feelings, your attraction, seriously because you haven't really changed how you identify. I thought this might allow you a little anonymity but also give you the chance to meet people, talk to them, get their stories, explore your own. It might help." Travis reached over and clapped Finn's shoulder a couple of times.
"I'm not sure," Finn said.
"I'm going to go dance. You are more than welcome to sit here and sulk. But if you let yourself, you might actually have a little fun tonight." Travis stood up and walked out to the dance floor, immediately maneuvering himself into a small cluster of guys.
Finn sat at the table; arms folded across his chest; legs stuck out in front of him. He scowled at the room at large and pouted. He didn't really handle being confronted well, usually it ended up with him either breaking down emotionally, or kicking at a chair or something. Finn was about to stand up and storm off, maybe take some of his frustration out on pool tables when a flirty voice addressed him.
"Can I get you something to drink sugar?" the voice asked.
Finn turned around and found himself almost eye to eye with one of the tallest girls he had ever met. She had a short bob of blue-black hair and eyes rimmed in fushia eye makeup with pale skin and dark plum lips. She was holding a serving tray with a couple of empties and glasses on it, and she was wearing a shirt with the club's logo and a small apron tied around her waist.
He flashed her his best adorable smile, "Sure, a beer. Whatever's on tap." He said.
She eyed him sideways as she picked up his hand with the bracelet just above it. "Sorry sugar, but that one tells me I can only bring you non-wobbly pops so how about you choose again."
He rolled his eyes as he pulled his hand from her grasp. "Fine. A coke. And I'll be over there by the tables." He gestured to the pool tables he had been eying up before she arrived.
Finn walked up to one of the racks near the pool tables and took out cue, holding it in his hands before putting it back and repeating this process a handful of times before he found a cue that felt right to him. He stood back against the wall and watched as a tall African-American guy finished up a game against a perky blonde girl.
"Sorry, Carly," the guy said, "your game is improving, but mine's still tops."
The blonde shook the guys hand before she replaced her cue in the rack. She gave Finn a quick once over and smiled, before she headed out to the dance floor.
"You up next tall, dark, and brooding?" the guy asked as he raised his eyebrows at Finn.
"Sure, I guess." Finn shrugged. He stuck out his hand. "Finn," he offered by way of introduction.
"Carter," the guy replied, shaking Finn's hand forcibly. "Usually people are pretty jazzed to be here, or are you one of the strong, silent, brooding types."
Finn wasn't sure, but he thought Carter might be flirting with him. He tried not to encourage him, because despite what Travis thought, Finn didn't feel flirting with some random guy in a gay bar was going to help him with Kurt. "My roommate dragged me out tonight. Not really my idea."
Carter pulled a quarter from his pocket and held it up. "Flip for break? Call it in the air." He instructed as he flipped the coin into the air, grabbed it and turned it over onto the back of his hand.
"Tails," Finn replied without thought.
Carter pulled away his hand and smiled. "Tails it is. Your break, Finn," he said as he racked the balls.
Finn broke easily enough, sending the balls over the table in all directions.
"Nice," Carter whistled. "Bad break up then?"
"Huh?" Finn asked as he took his next shot.
"The feelings you're taking out on these poor helpless billard balls- are they from a bad break up?" Carter said.
Finn shook his head as he lined up a more difficult shot. "Nah. This is just not really my scene you know. But my roommate thought he was being helpful." Finn missed the shot and scowled.
Carter lined up his shot. "Clubs aren't your scene?"
"Nah, can't really dance," Finn said. "I'm kinda known for it in fact."
Carter tilted his head back towards the dance floor. "That's not really dancing. It's more like cramped sardines fighting for air." He took a second shot and missed.
Finn laughed at Carter's description. He moved around to where Carter was standing and lined up his next shot, it wasn't an easy shot but Finn made it.
Carter leaned in close, "Good shot, Finn." His breath tickled at the side of Finn's face, warmth hitting his ear and neck. Finn shivered at the sensation.
"Th-thanks" Finn stammered as he stood back up, bumping into Carter as he did so.
"Easy there," Carter said as he put his hands on Finn's shoulders, letting them run down his arms.
Finn turned around, almost face to face with Carter. "Sorry." He mumbled. "I'm not…, I mean, I'm kinda already with someone."
Carter's eyes twinkled with the pulsing club lights. "The roommate?" he asked.
Finn took a step backwards, shaking his head. "No."
"Is he here?" Carter asked.
Finn shook his head again. "No."
Carter was about to speak again when the waitress appeared with Finn's coke. "You're not picking on this guy too much now, are you ,Carter Kelly?" she quipped.
"Just enough, Amelia." Carter winked.
"Don't let Carter get to you," Amelia said as she handed Finn his coke.
Finn fished a couple of bills out of his pocket and thrust them at her. "Keep the change."
"Seriously, don't let Carter bug you. He's mostly harmless if not a little shameless," Amelia said as she put a comforting hand on Finn's shoulder.
"Thanks." Finn managed to smile.
Carter rolled his eyes at Amelia. "Shouldn't you be getting back to work, Amelia? It's your shot, Finn."
"I'll be back." Amelia cackled as she walked away. "I'm working a short shift tonight, just filling in."
Finn moved over to line up his next shot.
"So tell me about your guy," Carter said as Finn took the shot, shocking him and making him miss.
"M-m-my guy?" Finn stammered as he stood up.
"Sure, you said there is someone," Carter said as he moved around the table eyeing up shots.
"Uh, well," Finn exhaled loudly, "his name is Kurt. We've known each other a couple of years now."
Carter lined up his shot and took it, easily sinking a ball. "So where's Kurt tonight?"
Finn leaned back against the wall. "New York. He lives there now."
"Ouch," Carter said as he took another shot. "Long distance relationships suck."
"We're not really in a long distance relationship," Finn said. "We're not really in a relationship. Part of it could be the distance because he was hurt pretty badly by his ex when they tried the long distance thing."
Carter missed his next shot and moved off to the side, allowing Finn to set up a new shot. "So what's the other part of you guys not really being in a relationship?"
"Kurt and I have a complicated history. And truthfully he's the only guy I've ever had feelings like this for," Finn said. He sank two more balls and moved to the eight ball.
"Oh. Well what's so complicated about your history?" Carter asked.
Finn chuckled. "It might be easier to tell you what isn't complicated." Finn made the shot, effectively ending the game.
"Good game. Congratulations," Carter said. "Don't think that gets you out of the story though. Talk to me about complicated." Carter led Finn over to a table near the bar; then he flagged down Amelia the waitress from earlier.
Amelia smiled as she sat down across from Finn. "Hey, boys."
"Amelia, this is Finn," Carter introduced them.
Finn nodded politely at Amelia. "Hi."
"Finn here was just about to tell me all about his guy troubles," Carter explained. "His name is Kurt, he lives in New York and they aren't in a relationship because it's complicated. Oh, and this is Finn's first boy crush."
"Oh, boy troubles," Amelia groaned. "It's why I gave up boys."
Finn laughed. "Sorry; it's just Kurt said something like that to me about girls back when we first kind of became friends."
"Stalling," Carter quipped.
Finn glared at Carter. "Uhm, I don't know what you want me to say."
"Start at the beginning," Amelia suggested.
"Ok, so Kurt, had a crush on me a long time ago, and I said some pretty hurtful things to him," Finn said.
"But obviously, you're still friends or something," Carter said.
Finn nodded. "We got past that I think. Right now, he lives with both my ex-fiance and the girl I lost my virginity to."
"I'm sure they could tell him a story or two," Carter joked.
"Trust me, I'm afraid of exactly that," Finn said. "I'm glee club coach to his ex-boyfriend. I was there, when they broke up. It was also sort of when I broke up with my ex that he lives with."
"Weird," Amelia stated. "Unless your relationships were ending so you guys could be together."
"No," Finn shook his head wildly. "And, we're step-brothers. Kurt set our parents up when we were in high school so we would be forced to spend time together. I don't think he anticipated them getting married. "
"That is complicated," Carter exclaimed.
Finn nodded. "I mean the last thing I want to do is screw this up and hurt him, because we've already had our share of issues that have threatened to rip our family apart. And family is really important to both of us because we were each alone with our one parent for so long."
"But you guys get along ok right? I mean if you're step-brothers and all," Carter said.
"Sure," Finn said. "We're close, like brothers. So we can't be reckless with this and just fool around; although really that's not either of our styles either. But he's there, and I'm here and it sucks."
Amelia's hand reached for one of Finn's playing with the nightly specials menu. "It's not just a crush is it, Finn?"
"No, I don't think it is," Finn agreed. "I mean, I love him. But I loved him long before I liked him. We're family." Finn sighed. "Like I said; it's complicated."
"Plenty of relationships are complicated though, to be honest," Amelia said. "You've just got to figure out if they're worth it."
Finn nodded. He was beginning to think Kurt was really worth it. Finn thought Kurt might be worth everything.
"I thought dating boys could be worth it, just because it might be 'easier'," Amelia said, "but in the end, I was miserable. For me, girls, the girls I've dated specifically, have been worth it. Sure, none of them have lasted, but for the most part we've gone on with our lives and are still in contact even after breaking up. Break ups don't have to be disastrous and damaging."
"I guess," Finn shrugged. "I suppose I'm still friendly with my exes too. Although Rach might freak out if Kurt and I get together."
"Homophobic?" Carter asked.
Finn laughed loudly. "No, kind of the opposite actually. Rachel has two gay dads, and she's great about all of that kind of stuff. It's just, well, she's the ex-finance."
Carter raised his eyebrows. "So you obviously like girls, or was the wedding called off because you realized your feelings for Kurt?"
"Called off because I loved her too much," Finn said. "She was going to give up all of her dreams for me. I couldn't let her do that. I'm not worth it."
"I think there are people who could think you're worth it," Carter said with a sly smile.
Finn felt a blush creep up his face.
"So Finn, do you like Pizza?" Carter asked.
"Sure who doesn't like pizza," Finn said. He eyed Carter suspiciously.
"Do you have a favorite?"
"Hawaiian- cause it's got ham, but also pineapple which is super sweet, so it's like dessert," Finn said.
"Do you always get the same type of pizza?"
"No, but pizza's pizza. It's always good." Finn looked at Carter. "Where are you going with this?"
Carter smiled. "Just go with it. What do you like better? Pizza or Burgers?"
"Uh- Do I have to choose?" Finn asked.
Carter grinned. "Nope. But that was kind of the point. You like Pizza. You like all kinds of Pizza. But just because you like Pizza, that doesn't mean you can't like burgers too. Maybe you like all kinds of burgers. Maybe you just like Whoppers. One doesn't have to exclude the others."
Amelia rolled her eyes. "Only a guy would make that metaphor with fast food, Carter."
"Oh," Finn exclaimed softly. His eyes widened as he considered Carter comparing Kurt to a Whopper. And then it went places that made Finn wish Kurt was there with him. "Yeah, that does kind of make sense." Finn looked from Amelia to Carter and back to Amelia. He nodded his head towards her, "So you like Pizza."
"In this case, yes" Amelia replied.
"And you like Burgers," Finn said to Carter.
"I like Burgers and Pizza," Carter said. "In fact my favorite pizza is a Bacon Double Cheeseburger Pizza."
Finn couldn't help but laugh because that totally reminded him of Puck. "Do you guys want to go dance? Because I think, I'm ready to go dance."
Amelia and Carter followed Finn out onto the dance floor where he led them over to where Travis was dancing. Finn made loud, quick introductions before he squeezed Travis' shoulder. "You were right; I needed to come here tonight."
000
Finn left the dance floor and headed to the bar to get a drink. While he waited for his drink, he heard a familiar but unplaceable voice calling his name.
"Hudson. Finn Hudson," the voice said.
Finn turned around and saw Dave Karofsky standing near by, a bottle of water in his hand. "Dave, wow! How are you?" Finn grabbed his drink, placed a couple of bills on the bar, moved down towards where Dave was standing, and shook his hand. "Small world. What are you doing here, in Toledo?"
Dave smiled big and bright. "I'm going to school up here. Just living it up on the weekend you know." Dave looked around the bar, obviously searching for something. "You must be here with Kurt. Where is he?"
Finn's heart sped up a little at the mention of Kurt. "Nah, I'm here with my college roommate, who happens to be gay. Go figure huh? I'd end up sharing a room with a gay guy again." Finn chuckled lightly.
Dave laughed, as well. "Where are you going to school? I thought you were in the Army."
"I'm at the University of Ohio campus in Lima," Finn said. "The Army didn't really work out; I was injured, and now I'm out. And yeah, living with Travis is like living with Kurt all over again, except not really at all." Finn shook his head.
"I don't imagine there is anyone quite like Kurt Hummel," Dave said.
Finn nodded his agreement. He looked around the bar, his sights stopping on a couple down the bar. "I'll admit I was skeptical when Travis said there would be straight guys and girls here."
Dave looked at Finn.
"So who dragged you here?" Finn asked.
"No one," Dave said. "Like I said, I go to school here in Toledo and this is reputeted to be one of the best LGBTQI bars around. When I heard they did student night, I knew I had to come. This is my fourth student night so far."
Finn stared at Dave for a few minutes, his head tilting this way then that. His eyes widened. "Oh. OH! You're Gay? But, what about everything that happened between you and Kurt."
"Kurt didn't tell you?" Dave looked surprised for a moment. "I was a closet case and I took my anger and fear and frustration out on Kurt for being everything I couldn't be and everything I thought I didn't want to be. He's one of the strongest, bravest guys I know, Finn."
Finn nodded his agreement.
"He seriously, didn't tell you?" Dave chuckled. "I thought the two of you were super tight."
"We are, but Kurt's got this thing about not outing people," Finn explained a blush coloring his cheeks. "Wow, Dave; I wouldn't have thought. Although I've gotta say though you look like a million times lighter and happier than the last time I saw you."
"I am." Dave agreed. "Things were rough for a while but it did get better. It got easier, and I learned to leave the people and things that just don't matter behind me."
"Such as?" Finn asked.
"People who don't care about your true happiness," Dave said. "People who can't accept you for you are." Dave took a swig from his bottle. "So, when'd you last see Kurt?"
"Uh, a couple of weeks ago," Finn said. "Kurt, Rachel and Santana all came down for Mr. Schue's wedding. Actually everyone came back."
"Who'd Mr. Schue marry?" Dave asked.
"Oh, well it should have been Ms. Pillsbury, but she kind of left him at the altar," Finn said. "It was kind of a dud as far as weddings go, but the reception was pretty fun, and Schue insisted we all go and take advantaged since it was already paid for and all."
"Jesus, Finn, every time I leave you alone for more than a couple of minutes, you end up picking up some other guy," Travis said as he approached the table, Carter and Amelia not far behind him.
Dave laughed. "Uh-nuh. Finn's not picking me up. I'm not exactly his type; you know. We went to high school together- played football. I'm Dave Karofsky."
"I'm Travis Harrison, Finn's roommate," Travis said with a large smile offered to Dave. "And this is Carter Kelly and Amelia Sales." Travis gestured to the two people with him who also sat down at the table.
Carter looked at Dave. "You must know the mysterious Kurt Hummel then. Because Finn's been talking our ears off about him all night, and we've not so much as seen a picture."
Finn blushed scarlet.
"Yeah, I know Kurt," Dave smiled. "C'mon Hudson, I'm sure you've got a photo of Kurt on your phone there."
Finn nodded, taking out his phone and pulling up a picture of Kurt from their trip to New York for Christmas. "This is Kurt- Christmas morning, making breakfast at the loft."
"He is cute," Carter announced decidedly.
"You know, my first kiss with a guy, it was a horrible situation; I wasn't out, it kind of came out of nowhere, but for all the bad, the one good thing was that it was with Kurt Hummel." Dave smiled a little.
"WHAT?" Finn cried, leaping from his seat and pulling Dave from his. "What the hell, dude?"
"Finn, calm down," Travis said.
"You didn't know that either?" Dave asked. "I guess Kurt couldn't really have told you the story without outing me, but yeah, I kissed him in the locker room at school."
"When was this?" Finn asked incredulously.
"Beginning of Junior year. Before your parents got married."
Finn's eyes widened as the pieces started drifting into place. "The death threats."
Dave nodded and swallowed harshly. "The moment after it happened, I was suddenly terrified he was going to out me. It wouldn't have mattered if people believed him or not, just the idea terrified me. So I threatened him to make him keep his mouth shut."
Everyone at the table was looking at Dave and Finn. Dave looked suitably embarrassed, but Finn was incredibly upset.
"You realize you sent him to Dalton; you sent him to Blaine," Finn seethed.
"The whole situation was one of the stupidest things I've ever done," Dave admitted, staring down Finn. "But hey, I got him to come back to McKinley right? And in time for Nationals in New York."
"I always thought Kurt coming back to McKinley had to do with Santana and the Bully Whips," Finn said, lessening his grip on Dave.
"No, Santana knew how much you guys wanted Kurt to come back and go to Nationals with you,"Dave said. "She found me out and used it against me. I wasn't ready to be out, but I was ready to stop hating Kurt. And I realized he wasn't going to out me. Although I always suspected, there were some people he told. I know he told Anderson." Dave shook off Finn's grip and sat back down.
Finn nodded because of course Kurt would have told Blaine. Blaine had come in like a knight in shining armor and rescued Kurt from the horrible things happening at McKinley. Things Finn should have known; things Finn should have been protecting Kurt from as his friend, as his soon to be brother. Hell even Sam had taken a black eye for Kurt at that time. And Mike had been involved in a scuffle, as well.
Finn narrowed his eyes at Dave. "What about what happened at junior prom?"
"You heard about that though," Dave laughed. "You weren't even there, you got kicked out for punching Berry's date right?" Finn nodded and Dave continued. "I couldn't dance with Kurt. I wasn't ready; I couldn't be out at McKinley. You must remember what it was like. They, I mean we, gave you enough shit about Kurt."
Finn nodded. He couldn't imagine being out at McKinley. Dave was right; it was bad enough associating with Kurt. Finn felt incredibly sad because he didn't think there was any way he could be everything Kurt needed him to be.
"Kurt mentioned to me in an email before Christmas that he and Anderson split up," Dave said. "Are they still broken up?"
"Yeah, Blaine cheated on him," Finn said squinting at Dave. "They are talking now, and trying to go back to being friends. Of course Blaine wants to get back together, but I don't think Kurt wants that. And he's kind of seeing this guy in New York too."
"Hold up." Amelia said. "Your Kurt is dating someone else in New York City?"
"Your Kurt," Dave repeated, looking at Finn. His eyes widened, and he grinned. "Holy Shit Hudson! If Kurt is dating someone in New York, it must be because he doesn't know. He'd be thrilled if he knew."
"He knows," Finn chuckled darkly. "But I'm here, he's there and Blaine really turned him off the idea of long distance relationships, not that I've had any better luck with them either." Everyone at the table was looking at Finn.
"But it's you," Dave said. "He's liked you since like freshman year or something."
Finn shrugged. "It is me. But it's not guys that I like, I don't think. It's just Kurt. And I still like girls. It's just I'd rather be with Kurt than any girl at the moment." Finn ran his hands through his hair.
Travis grinned at Dave before putting a hand on Finn's shoulder, "I think that's what Kurt has been waiting to hear."