Chapter 6- Surprise!
Kurt blinked in the darkness as he tried to regain consciousness, something insistently buzzing near him having broken through his sleep. Kurt groped the side table for his phone and squinted at the screen, his eyes widening when he saw not only the time but the caller.
"Finn," he whispered, his mind racing with all of the horrible possibilities as to why he could be calling at 3:30 in the morning.
"Why didn't you tell me Kurt?" Finn asked.
"I'm sorry?" Kurt said although he had no idea what Finn was talking about. "Wait, What are you talking about Finn? Is everyone ok? Is Dad ok?"
"Everyone's fine Kurt," Finn reassured him. "I just, I can't believe you never told me. You didn't come to me."
Kurt blinked his eyes in the darkness again and rubbed at them tiredly as he yawned. "I have no idea what you are talking about Finn. Could you fill me in please?"
"Travis took me to a bar in Toledo tonight," Finn said. "They have a student night once a month. I ran into Karofsky."
"Oh, how is Dave doing? I haven't talked to him in a while."
"Really Kurt?" Finn asked. "Even Dave seemed surprised that you never told me anything. God Kurt. Why? I had no idea. I could have helped. I would have helped."
"Oh Finn," Kurt sighed. "I couldn't explain it without outing Dave and you know how I feel about that. And you were busy repairing your reputation. You didn't need my problems."
"Kurt," Finn sighed. "I'm so sorry. Dave told me about the locker room."
Kurt's breath hitched in his throat. "It was only a kiss."
"You promise?"
Kurt nodded although Finn couldn't see him. "It was just a kiss. Of course after that I was terrified that it could escalate to more and then he started threatening my life." Kurt half chuckled half sobbed, "My life was pretty much hell after that."
"God Kurt," Finn sighed. "I just wish you had told me. I should have been protecting you."
"You couldn't have done any more than you did," Kurt explained. "It's ok. I went to Dalton, and it was better. And it gave Dave time to reconcile with himself. It really was better once I came back."
It was silent for a few minutes on the phone. Kurt wondered if Finn had maybe fallen asleep. But then he heard Finn sigh loudly.
"Dave was your first kiss wasn't he. I mean you barely knew Blaine at that point."
"Technically, yes," Kurt said. "But Blaine was the first one that counted."
Finn's voice was so soft that Kurt almost didn't hear him. "It should have been me."
"What?" Kurt exclaimed. "No, Finn. It couldn't have been you."
"You liked me before then. It should have been me."
"But you didn't like me then," Kurt said. "If I had forced myself on you and kissed you it wouldn't have been any different from what Dave did to me."
"You could have asked, Kurt," Finn said.
Kurt laughed. "Are you telling me you would have said yes? That you would have let me kiss you back then? Or that you would have kissed me? Because I know the answer to that is no. And I don't blame you. Not at all."
"I might have," Finn countered. "I don't know. I'm not really good at saying no when people ask me for stuff."
"Oh, Finn," Kurt sighed.
"I'm sorry, Kurt," Finn said sadly. "I wish I felt then how I felt now. Things could have been different."
"I don't know, Finn. I think things have a way of working out for the best." Kurt yawned. "And as much as I like talking to you; listening to your deep sleepy voice while I'm in bed, I really do need to get back to sleep."
000
"I know I said we'd go see a movie at the theatre tonight but I'm just so exhausted," Kurt said to Adam by way of a greeting when he opened the loft door Saturday evening.
"We can just stay here, maybe watch something on tv," Adam offered as he slid in past Kurt. "You do look a little off." Adam cupped the side of Kurt's face and rubbed his thumb gently over the slightly puffy bags under Kurt's eyes.
"Someone called me in the middle of the night last night," Kurt said as he dropped down onto the couch.
"Oh, crank call?" Adam winced sympathetically.
Kurt shook his head. "Finn."
"Is everything alright? Is your dad ok?"
"Everyone is fine," Kurt sighed. "Finn ran into a mutual friend of ours last night and he found out some stuff that happened junior year, when I was having problems, and it led to one of our heart to hearts."
Adam laughed. "The two of you have a strange relationship."
Kurt tried not to think about just how strange it was and what Adam would think if he knew. At least most of last night could have been construed as brotherly though; probably. "Because we're the same age, and we have mutual and overlapping friends and interests, we're closer than just brothers. I mean we even have this weird mind meld thing sometimes. It's kinda creepy, except that it's Finn."
"You never did say much about the trip home for the wedding. I saw the photos and videos you were tagged in on facebook, but you didn't say too much other than that." Adam draped his arm across Kurt's shoulders and pulled him into his body. His other hand came up and carded through Kurt's hair, lightly massaging at his scalp.
Kurt let his head fall onto Adam's chest, enjoying the slight pressure of Adam's deft fingers. "The wedding didn't happen; the bride didn't show. Most of us glee kids had a good time though, getting to sing and dance and be together again." Kurt yawned. "That feels good," he gestured with his hand to Adam's fingers in his hair. His eyes drifted closed for a moment.
"Yeah?" Adam asked. "I'll just keep doing it ok, love."
Kurt stiffened slightly at the term of endearment, and his eyes flew open. It wasn't that he felt nothing for Adam; he did like the guy. He was a good friend. But he wanted to hear those types of words from someone else. He wanted to hear them from Finn. "Finn has said before, just how different the club is this year from the years we were in it, despite the returning members. I could see it when I was home. It made me a little sad."
"Is that really so surprising? Some of your strongest members have moved on." Adam reached for the remote and turned on the tv. "What do you feel like watching?"
"Whatever," Kurt shrugged. "I don't know what to do about Blaine-my ex. I would like to stay friends; I really missed his friendship in the fall, and it's been nice to be able to talk to him again. But at the wedding I got the feeling he thinks this is a step to us getting back together."
"You don't want to get back together?" Adam asked as he settled on an airing of 'The American President' that had just started.
"I really don't," Kurt said. "It's not why I've extended the olive branch and rekindled our friendship." Kurt felt his eyes drifting closed again. Beneath his head, he could hear Adam's heart thumping steadily. The slight movement of his chest with each inhale and exhale of breath lulled Kurt into a peaceful slumber.
000
"I might not do this right," Finn said in a husky whisper as he slid down Kurt's body, his lips trailing little wet kisses in their wake. "You'll have to tell me if I'm doing it wrong or how to make it better; what you like."
"You don't have to," Kurt said. His eyes were wide, unbelieving the sight before him.
Finn smirked up at him. "Oh, but I want to, Kurt. I really, really do."
"I'm sure you'll do great," Kurt said softly. He twisted his hands in the sheets on the bed as Finn enveloped him into his warm, moist mouth. He moaned with pleasure as Finn moved up and down, taking him in a little further each time. When Finn pulled back one time, almost all the way to the tip and swirled his tongue around, almost tickling the sensitive head, Kurt's hips bucked up off the bed.
"Shit! Sorry, Finn."
Finn pulled his mouth from Kurt and smiled up at him. "It's ok. You didn't hurt me or anything."
Kurt groaned as he looked at Finn, whose mouth was red and wet as he smiled up at Kurt. Kurt motioned with his hands for Finn to move up the bed beside him. "C'mere."
"Why?" Finn asked. "Am I not doing a good job?" He looked positively heartbroken.
"You're doing a great job," Kurt reassured him. "I would just really like to kiss you right now."
Finn smiled, his eyes lighting up. "Oh, well in that case." Finn moved back up Kurt's body, twisting them both onto their sides, facing each other, legs tangled. He wrapped his arms around Kurt, pulling him close. He pushed one of his legs up between Kurt's, rubbing his thigh against Kurt's naked and now neglected cock. Finn's own cock, still ensconced in his boxer briefs dragged against the hollow of Kurt's hip.
Kurt pressed his lips to Finn's, softly at first but then more insistently until Finn's tongue licked into his open mouth. Kurt brought one of his hands up to cup gently the side of Finn's face, to remember the feeling of his skin beneath his fingertips. "Your skin feels softer."
"It does?" Finn asked. His voice sounded weird and muffled in Kurt's ears.
000
Kurt opened his eyes slowly, and then blinked quickly, furiously as things came into focus. "Adam."
"Morning," Adam said groggily. His eyes were open and he was smiling at Kurt.
"What? Why? I don't understand." Kurt looked down, relieved to see he and Adam both were still in their clothes from the night before, and he was not naked like he had just been in his dream. That being said, however, he was pressed up against Adam, one of Adam's legs between his; both of them obviously aroused.
"You fell asleep on the couch, Kurt. I must have too because the next thing I knew Santana was waking me up," Adam explained. "I helped you to bed and you told me it was too late for me to go home and just to crawl in here behind you and behave myself." Adam chuckled.
Kurt put both his hands on Adam's chest. "I think we should stop this."
"I was afraid you might say that," Adam said, exhaling deeply.
"It's not you. I'm just not ready; I don't think." Kurt tried not to let the look in Adam's eyes dissuade him.
"I thought we were both pretty into this," Adam said. But he shifted his body slightly away from Kurt's.
"I, well, I was having a dream," Kurt said. "One of those kind of dreams." Kurt could feel his cheeks and the tips of his ears flushing with embarrassment.
"Oh," Adam chuckled. "But it wasn't about me, was it."
Kurt shook his head. "I'm sorry. You're a great guy. I really do enjoy hanging out with you. And you've been a really good friend."
"But that's all you see us as isn't it?" Adam asked.
Kurt nodded. "Right now, yes. I'm sorry Adam."
"Me too," Adam said softly. "I should probably go." He got up and walked from the bedroom, Kurt trailing behind him.
"When you're ready, feel free to call me, and we can go for coffee or something," Kurt said. "And I'll stay away from Apples rehearsals until after the break at least."
"Thank you, Kurt," Adam said. He leaned in and kissed Kurt's cheek.
000
"Does this look ok?" Travis asked Finn.
Finn turned around from where he was working on a paper for his class and looked at Travis, expecting to see him holding something. "What? Does what look ok?"
"This," Travis gestured to himself. "What I'm wearing."
Finn laughed. "You're asking the wrong guy Dude. Kurt says my fashion taste is a fashion disaster. I guarantee you, anything I have that looks remotely decent on me, is because Kurt bought it for me, or made me or mom buy it for me."
"Does it look like I'm trying to hard? I don't want to look like I'm trying to hard."
"I don't know," Finn shrugged. "Where are you going? What are you doing?"
"I kind of have a date," Travis said. "Maybe it's a date? I'm not sure. It might just be hanging out we didn't really clarify it. But either way, if it's a date, it's a first date."
"Oh," Finn exclaimed. "Yeah, you look ok, I guess. What are you doing?"
"Pizza and the pool hall?" Travis said.
Finn looked at Travis again. "Ditch the sweater."
"It's not that nice out yet."
"Then take a hoodie with you or your leather jacket," Finn said. "And wear your Cons, not those black boots you were polishing earlier."
"Really?" Travis asked.
"It's what I would wear-like you said, you're not even sure it's a date. You don't want to be over dressed and make it look like you thought it was a date if it isn't."
"You might have a point," Travis said.
"Not as dumb as I look," Finn deadpanned as he turned back around to his paper.
A couple of minutes later there was a knock on their dorm door.
"I guess I'll see you later," Travis said softly. "Wish me luck."
"Good luck, Dude," Finn said as he waved a hand in Travis' vicinity.
Finn heard the door open, and Travis say "Hey" to who ever was on the other side.
"You ready to go?" the mystery guy said.
Finn didn't know why, but the voice sounded familiar, so he leaned back on his desk chair just a little bit in hopes of getting a glimpse. He almost fell out of his chair, however, when he spotted Dave Karofsky on the other side of the door.
"Shit," Finn yelped as he tried to right himself and the chair before crashing to the floor. "Hey, Dave. Sorry, I almost fell out of my chair." Finn looked from Dave (in a UT hoodie and jeans with a pair of Cons that had seen better days) to Travis. "You're going for pizza and to the pool hall with Dave?"
"Yeah," Travis nodded.
"Did you want to come along with us, Hudson?" Dave asked.
Finn almost laughed at the stricken look on his roommate's face. "Nah, I've gotta finish this paper before break, so I don't have to take it with me."
"Oh, ok," Dave said. "Going away for break?"
"I'm headed to New York," Finn said.
"Spending March break with Kurt," Dave said a knowing grin on his face.
"Yeah, something like that."
"Have fun, if I don't see you before."
"Yeah, you too. You guys, I mean. Have fun. Tonight." Finn turned back to his paper biting his cheek not to laugh until he heard the door close behind them, and he was sure they were well down the hallway.
Finn laughed as he picked up his phone and called Kurt.
"Dude, you're never going to believe what just happened here!"
000
You remember what time my flight is tomorrow
Yes Finn I will meet you at baggage claim
What are you doing tonight
Well Rachel is away for the weekend with Brody Santana is working a shift at the club
So I could do just about anything Maybe a soak in a hot tub
What about you
Just hanging out Wishing I was there already
Me too
Finn pocketed his cell phone before he raised his hand and knocked on the door. His smile was wide and bright.
The loft door slid open, revealing a very surprised Kurt. "What are you doing here? You're flight's not until tomorrow."
"Surprise," Finn grinned.
Kurt launched himself at Finn, throwing his arms around him and holding on tightly. "You're really here?"
"I'm really here."
"Get in here, get in here," Kurt exclaimed, pulling Finn into the loft and pulling the door closed behind him. Finn shrugged out of his light jacket and hung it on the rack by the door. He dropped his bags; they could wait.
"Now what?" Finn asked, his voice low and husky. He watched as Kurt's eyes fluttered closed, and a shiver ran through his body. Finn chuckled softly.
"Now you should kiss me," Kurt said.
Finn stepped forward and grabbed either side of Kurt's face, looking deep into his eyes. He pressed his lips to Kurt's, moving them slightly, nipping at Kurt's lips.
Kurt moved them slowly towards his bedroom area, kissing Finn the whole time. "At any time, Finn, if you want to stop, just tell me." Kurt sat down on the bed, kicking off his shoes and scooted back until he could lay back against the pillows.
Finn nodded. He toes off his sneakers and crawled up onto the bed next to Kurt; both of them still fully clothed. He pulled Kurt on to his side to face him.
"Hey," Finn whispered.
"Hi," Kurt said.
"Confession?" Finn said. "I expected to show up here and for you to be out with Adam or for him to be here. Maybe not here in your bed, but here at the loft."
"Oh," Kurt exclaimed. "Adam and I aren't together anymore."
"Since when?"
"Last weekend. There was a misunderstanding of sorts." Kurt looked at Finn. "We had a date Saturday. But I was really tired after your middle of the night phone call. So we just stayed here."
"Oh, ok," Finn said, nodding his head.
"I fell asleep. Adam fell asleep. Santana woke us up when she got home from the club. It was too late for Adam to go home." Kurt looked at Finn, who was frowning more with each sentence he uttered. "I was half asleep but I told him to stay, to sleep here with me but to behave himself."
"What was the misunderstanding then?" Finn asked. His brows furrowed. "Did he push you?"
"No, no, Finn," Kurt said softly. He placed one of his hands on Finn's chest, no doubt feeling Finn's heart beat underneath his palm. "I had a dream though." Kurt cheeks burned crimson. "One of those dreams."
"About Adam," Finn swallowed around the lump in his throat.
"No," Kurt whispered. "About you."
"Oh!" Finn exclaimed softly.
"Adam and I ended up kind of tangled together and in my dream, just before I woke up, you and I, we were kissing," Kurt explained. "And when I woke up, Adam was right here." Kurt gestured to where Finn currently was. "I was a little disoriented. I had to double check that it had been a dream and hadn't happened between Adam and me. But since we were both still fully clothed, it was just a dream." Kurt looked down, not able to look at Finn. "Except we were both aroused at how close we were. Except mine was from the dream. I put the brakes on what was happening, and Adam realized I saw us more as friends than boyfriends. So we broke up."
"I'm sorry, Kurt," Finn said.
"It's ok, really," Kurt said. He smiled at Finn.
Finn's cheeks were tinged pink when he spoke again. "Do you think that maybe you could tell me about your dream?" He leaned in and kissed Kurt sweetly as if in price for sharing the dream.
"I-it-it was nothing," Kurt stammered but Finn knew it was anything but.
"Please, Kurt," Finn whined.
Kurt sighed and buried his face into Finn's chest. "I dreamed that you wanted to use your mouth on me."
Finn put his fingers under Kurt's chin and titled it up to his, looking into his eyes. "Like this?" Finn leaned down to nuzzle and suck at Kurt's jaw and then down his neck.
"That's good," Kurt moaned. "But, it ah, oh, it was lower." Kurt's voice squeaked out the last word.
"More like this?" Finn asked as he pushed aside the collar of Kurt's shirt and moved his lips to graze over Kurt's collar bones.
"Mmm, that's very good too," Kurt said, his hands coming up to cradle Finn's head. "But not exactly."
"No?" Finn looked at Kurt; his flushed face, his eyes lit up with arousal.
Kurt's eyes met Finn's. A soft, breathy sigh escaped his throat. "In my dream, you, um, you were, you."
Finn passed his lips over Kurt's once, in the barest whisper of a kiss.
"In my dream you were giving me a blow job," Kurt exhaled it all in one quick breath. His eyes locked with Finn's.
Finn groaned, his head dropping forward to Kurt's chest. "Oh God, Kurt."
Kurt closed his eyes and shook his head. "No, it's ok. I know you don't want that. It was just a dream, and you asked."
"No," Finn squeaked. He raised his head and looked at Kurt. "I think I do want that. It's not something I'd given much thought before, but seeing you now like this, I want to." Finn pressed his lips to Kurt's again, kissing him deeply, thrusting his tongue into Kurt's mouth, swallowing all of his noises.
"You don't have to, really," Kurt said as he gasped for breath with Finn broke the kiss.
But Finn was already easing Kurt onto his back, moving down his body. Finn's fingers moved to Kurt's belt and undid it. He undid the button on Kurt's pants and slid down the zipper.
Kurt lifted his hips off the bed so Finn could slide his pants and underwear down his legs. He shifted up on the bed, giving Finn more room to lay down between his legs. "Are you sure about this?"
Finn grinned up at Kurt before placing a kiss to the crown of his exposed cock. "Yes. I'm very sure." Finn leaned down to press a kiss to each of Kurt's hips. He wrapped his hands around Kurt's hips; his fingers curling around the back and resting lightly over the top of Kurt's ass. Finn's thumbs stroked lightly at the juncture of Kurt's hips and thighs. He lowered his head and licked at the head of Kurt's cock.
Kurt threw his head back and moaned. "Fuck, Finn."
Kurt's exclamation was all the encouragement Finn needed. He wrapped his lips around the tip and slowly, slid them down as far as he could, enveloping Kurt's cock in the warm wet of his mouth.
Kurt's hips jerked up slightly as he arched his back off the bed, but Finn's hands helped push him back against the bed. Finn pulled back up Kurt's length, using his tongue to swirl around the very tip before taking him in again, and pushing himself to take just a little more. But it was too much, and he gagged, pulling off Kurt's cock with a wet slurp.
"S-sor-ry" Finn coughed and rubbed at his watery eyes.
Kurt whined at the loss of contact. "It's ok, just use your hand too. You don't have to take it all into your mouth."
"Really?" Finn asked.
Kurt nodded. "Just get your hand wet too and it'll be good."
Finn lapped at his hand and wrapped it around the base of Kurt's cock. Then he sunk his mouth back over Kurt. Not having to worry about taking all of Kurt into his mouth, Finn was able to hollow his cheeks and focus on creating suction and a delicious friction. With every couple of bobs of his head, Finn would lick at the slit of Kurt's cock, each time earning a delicious keening sound of pleasure from Kurt.
"Finn," Kurt whined, sounding positively wrecked. He brought his hands down to Finn's head and tried to pull him off, warning him. "Finn, please."
Finn shook his head, mumbling against Kurt's cock. He did pull up a little higher, towards the tip, continuing to swirl his tongue around the tip until he felt Kurt's release flooding his mouth. He wasn't able to swallow it all; some of it dribbling out of the corners of his mouth and back down Kurt's still pulsing cock.
"Sorry," Finn grimaced as he wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt.
"Sorry for what?" Kurt asked groggily as he motioned for Finn to move up the bed beside him.
"I don't think I did that very well," Finn said. He flipped part of the blanket on the bed over Kurt's naked bottom half before snuggling in beside him. "I'll try to do better if you let me do it again."
Kurt pressed his lips to Finn's. "It was great. You were great." Kurt's eyes fluttered closed for a moment. "You really think you might want to do that again?"
Finn nodded. "It's really amazing watching you come apart like that. Very hot." He nuzzled Kurt's neck.
"We should probably clean up and get ready for bed, in case Santana comes home early," Kurt mumbled sleepily. "I just can't be bothered to care at the moment."
Finn got out of bed and crossed to the washroom, coming back with a warm, damp cloth that he handed to Kurt. He went to the same dresser drawer he had seen Kurt at many times during his Christmas trip. He grabbed a pair of boxers and a tee shirt and brought them over to Kurt.
"Thanks," Kurt said. He reached up and pressed a chaste kiss to Finn's lips. Kurt pulled off his shirt off and threw it towards his laundry basket and missed.
Finn chuckled as he bent over to pick up Kurt's discarded pants, underwear and now shirt and tossed them in the laundry. Kurt handed him his socks as well, hanging the damp wash cloth over the metal headboard railings. Finn left the bedroom again, returning this time with his bags and depositing them in the corner.
"I locked the loft door, I hope that is ok," Finn said as he dug around in his bag and came out with a clean shirt and pair of boxers.
Kurt nodded as he pulled his fresh tee shirt over his head. He crawled across the bed and slid his arms around Finn from behind. "Let me help?" Kurt slid his hands under Finn's shirt and pushed it up and off of Finn, tossing it onto the bed behind him. Kurt slid his hands back down Finn's now naked chest and to the button if his jeans. Finn tensed in his arms and hissed as Kurt's fingers undid the button.
"Oh, Finn," Kurt whispered as his fingers skated over the area where Finn's cock was trapped in his jeans. "Lie back for me, please? Let me take care of that?"
Finn nodded as he laid back against the bed. He scooted back a little and propped himself up on his elbows so he could look at Kurt. He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth as Kurt moved to kneel on the floor and gently slid his jeans and boxers down his legs and pushed them onto the floor.
"Oh God, Finn," Kurt whispered. He licked his lips as he looked down at Finn's cock and then up to meet Finn's eyes. "Has anyone ever done this for you before?"
Finn shook his head quickly, swallowing down the desire already burning inside him.
"Ok, just try not to buck up your hips too much ok," Kurt offered. "If I do this," Kurt slapped lightly at Finn's thighs, "it means hips down. You can grip my head, play with my hair, just don't pull."
Finn nodded, now biting his lip in anticipation.
Kurt settled himself on the floor between Finn's legs and put a pillow under his knees. He held Finn's cock at the base with one land, holding it still as the flat of his tongue laved from base to tip. He felt Finn's body shiver under his touch the second his tongue touched him. Several swipes up and down Finn's length and then Kurt slipped his lips over the head, swirling his tongue around the tip before he began to bob up and down, increasing the amount of Finn he took in each time.
"Kurt, oh God, Kurt," Finn began babbling. "That feels so good. You're mouth is so warm, so wet." Finn brought his hands down and began rubbing them through Kurt's hair, scritching at Kurt's scalp. "Holy crap! You're amazing at doing that." Finn let out a loud, dragged out moan. "How did you last so long when I did this. God Kurt, Kurt, Kurt." Finn's respiration sped up to the point where he was almost hyperventilating. "Off Kurt, I'm going to-".
Kurt knew what was coming, and he pulled his lips back just a little, sucking furiously and swallowing as Finn began to come in his mouth. Kurt used his hand to stroke Finn through his orgasm, until he felt Finn's entire body go limp. He pulled his mouth off of Finn and crawled back up over Finn's body.
"Kurt," Finn panted, cupping Kurt's cheek with his hand. "Fuck, that was amazing. You are amazing. Thank you." He pressed his lips against Kurt's roughly, kissing him hard.
Kurt giggled when they broke apart. "I've never gotten quite that reaction from a blowjob."
Finn dropped his head back onto the bed, shaking it back and forth. "Then Blaine Anderson is a fucking idiot."
000
Finn and Kurt decided to take a couple of days away from the loft and headed down to Manhattan, staying in a hotel and doing all types of touristy things. They spent the days touring Manhattan, Kurt tucked in under Finn's arm. They even returned to the diner from New Years Eve. Charlie, the waitress, was very happy to see them, and she didn't even bat an eye at how Finn held Kurt's hand the entire time they weren't eating or when he leaned over and kissed away a smudge of chocolate frosting off of Kurt's cheek from a piece of cake they shared.
One night, Kurt took Finn to a Broadway show, another night they went to see a movie and one night they just hung out at the hotel pool and hot tub. But once back at the hotel, in their room, they'd spend the nights curled up together in bed, with hand jobs and blow jobs. They'd cuddle together and talk softly while trading lazy kisses.
"So what happens next, when I go back to Lima?" Finn asked one night. Kurt's head was pillowed on his chest, and Finn was running his fingers through Kurt's hair, massaging his scalp.
Kurt shrugged. "I don't know. Same as it's always been, I guess."
"You don't want more?" Finn asked.
"Sure I do," Kurt sighed. "But there's no point in asking for more than you can give."
"So what, we just keep hooking up whenever we're in the same city?" Finn asked.
"I guess," Kurt said. "It's been great being here in Manhattan. You've seemed free and comfortable in just being with me."
Finn nodded. "It has been great." He pressed a kiss to Kurt's forehead.
"But how would it be at home?" Kurt asked.
"I don't know," Finn said. "Maybe not so different. There are people at home who know how I feel about you. Travis, Puck, Dave."
"How do you feel about me, Finn?" Kurt asked. "What's changed?"
"I don't know that something has changed really," Finn said. "It's like if you were a girl, I honestly think we would have gotten together in sophomore year. And we'd still be together."
Kurt raised his head of off Finn's chest and turned to glare at him. "Really, Finn?!" His eyebrows raised up into his hairline.
"C'mon, I don't mean it badly. It's just back then I NEVER thought I could be into you, or into guys. But I could have been into you as a girl."
"And now, you think you could be into me?" Kurt asked. "Could you be into guys?"
"I'm not sure about guys," Finn said. "But yeah dude, I'm into you. I've tried you know, to figure it out with other guys, but it's like what's the point in looking at other guys. The only guy I want to look at, the only guy I want to be with, is you."
"Oh," Kurt exclaimed softly.
"But I'm pretty sure I still like girls, too," Finn said. "I notice them on campus, in class sometimes, but still, the only person I want to look at, want to be with, is you."
"God, Finn," Kurt swallowed thickly reaching up to press his lips to Finn's.
Finn broke the kiss, and shuffled down, this time resting his head on Kurt's chest. He didn't think he could stand Kurt watching him when he said what he wanted to say next. "I've loved you for a while you know, because of Mom and Burt. I just never thought I could be in love with you."
"Are you in love with me?" Kurt whispered.
"Maybe," Finn said. "It doesn't feel like my feelings have changed for you, not really. So maybe I've been in love with you all along and didn't know it." Finn was silent for a few moments. "I mean obviously I have real feelings, strong feelings for you. It's not like either one of us is really the kind of person to fool around without feelings."
"No," Kurt agreed. "You're right. And maybe I never really got over you. Maybe I just pushed it all down, pushed it aside and focused on Blaine, and now it's all coming back to the surface the longer this keeps going on between us."
"So you might be in love with me too," Finn said.
"I'm definitely falling in love with you again," Kurt said. "I'd like to see where this could go, what could happen between us. But I can't, I won't do another long distance relationship."
"Because of Blaine," Finn said softly.
"I was so in love with Blaine," Kurt agreed. "And I still care for him deeply, as a friend. But I was in love with him, and it just wasn't enough. Yes, he cheated, but I played my own part." Kurt sighed, his fingers stroking over the bare skin of Finn's shoulder blades. "We can't give this, give us a try unless we are really going to commit to it and can be together more than just weekends here and there. There are just too many other things that could suffer if we failed."
"And we'll know we're ready to commit how?" Finn asked.
"That I'm not sure," Kurt said.
000
The night before Finn was scheduled to fly back to Lima; Kurt took him out to a karaoke bar with Santana and Rachel. Together they had decided that they would both be too mopey otherwise. As a group, they decided to revisit some of their favorite glee club numbers. Finn sang 'Don't Dream it's Over' and made Kurt get up to sing 'I'll Remember'. Kurt chose 'Gives You Hell' for Rachel and 'Valerie' for Santana. Santana and Rachel decided to revisit their glee performance of 'I've Kissed a Girl.' And then Santana suggested that maybe Kurt and Finn should get up and redo their duet from Mr Shue's wedding.
Against Kurt's better judgement, he and Finn agreed and soon found themselves standing on stage singing along to REO Speedwagon again.
And though I know all about those men
Still I don't remember
Cause it was us baby, way before them
And we're still together
And I meant, every word I said
When I said that I love you I meant
That I love you forever
And I'm gonna keep on lovin you
Cause it's the only thing I wanna do
I don't wanna sleep
I just wanna keep on lovin you
It was entirely possible in his attempt not to get maudlin over the fact that Finn was leaving again-that this time he had a much better idea where they stood and that they were closer to being an 'us' than Kurt could ever have expected-that Kurt camped up his portion of the lyrics even more. The result was generous applause and Santana, who howled with laughter. Rachel appeared to have transformed into a fish as her mouth repeatedly opened and closed without any noise coming out before she plastered on one of her 'performance' smiles and clapped along with everyone else.
When they finished their song Kurt headed over to grab a couple of bottles of water for them. He was not expecting to run into Adam.
"Hi Kurt," Adam said as he put a soft hand on Kurt's shoulder.
"Adam," Kurt replied pulling him into a friendly one armed hug. "How's your break been?"
"Good," Adam said. "Some of us rented a car and headed down to Florida. We just got back yesterday."
"That sounds fun," Kurt said. "Are any of the others here tonight?" Kurt looked around the dim light bar, looking for other members of the Apples.
"A couple, yes," Adam confessed. "Your performances were great Kurt. We miss you; we miss your voice in the Apples."
"I'll come back after the break, but I'm going to be pretty busy," Kurt said. "I've gotten permission to write my exams early so I can go home for my Dad's post chemo check up. I'll be leaving mid April, and I'll be back just in time for summer sessions if all is well."
"Oh, well I hope everything works out with your Dad," Adam said. "I see Finn is here again."
Kurt smiled. "He came here for Spring Break. We did all kinds of touristy things. I took him to a Broadway show. We saw a couple of movies, ate at some great little dives."
Adam smiled at Kurt, but his eyes were a little sad. "That's him. It was Finn all along?"
"Huh?" Kurt asked, thoroughly confused.
"The way you look at him," Adam explained. "It's the way I hoped you'd look at me. It's the way I looked at you."
"Oh!" Kurt exclaimed softly. "I'm sorry Adam. And yes, I've kind of fallen for him."
Adam looked at Kurt. "You don't see it do you? The way he looks at you? It's the same. I saw it the first time I met the two of you. Whatever you are feeling, I would put money on Finn returning those feelings."
Kurt smiled at Adam. "Thank you, for everything."
"No problem Kurt. Good luck with Finn, I hope it all works out for you." Adam walked away and back towards one of the far corners in the bar.
Kurt felt a pair of hands on his hips before the warm, familiar voice hit his ear.
"That looked like Adam," Finn said.
"It was," Kurt said.
"Are you ok?" Finn asked.
"Yeah. It was nice." Kurt relaxed slightly back against Finn.
"Good," Finn said. "I'd hate to have to punch him for being mean to my Kurt."
"Your Kurt huh?" Kurt smirked.
"At least for the next handful of hours," Finn sniffed sadly. "I talked to Santana, and she's going to keep Rachel here until closing and take a long way back to the loft so we can escape right now and have the loft to ourselves for a while."
Kurt turned around in Finn's arms to look up at him. "What did you tell her?"
"The truth- that I wanted to spend a little time with you alone on my last night here." Finn pushed an errant strand of hair out of Kurt's face. "When I told Puck, about us, about what happened at Mr. Schue's wedding, he wasn't really surprised. He said that everyone half expects us to get together at some point."
"Really?" Kurt asked.
"I guess they thought you'd wear me down eventually," Finn smirked. "Anyhow, Santana wasn't any more surprised that Puck. Plus, I know whom she hooked up with at the wedding."
Kurt raised his eyebrows at Finn. "Who?"
"I probably shouldn't tell you, it might be considered outing and I know how you feel about that," Finn said softly.
"Wow" Kurt exclaimed. "That sounds intriguing though."
"Yeah," Finn said. "Anyhow, I've already called a cab. Let's get out of here ok. I'm not going to see you for almost a month again." Finn leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to Kurt's lips.