Chapter 8- How it Falls Apart
"That was nice of Travis to go back to Dave's tonight," Kurt said once they had returned to the dorm.
"I may not hear the end of it from them though, you do realize that right?" Finn smirked.
"Hmm, I think it might be worth it though," Kurt said, wrapping his arms around Finn's neck.
Finn smiled, leaning down to rest his forehead against Kurt's. "Oh, it's definitely going to be worth it." He pressed his lips to Kurt's and began to kiss him hungrily while his fingers began to help rid Kurt of a couple of layers of clothes.
Kurt pulled his lips from Finn's. "Don't let my jacket get too far away. There are some things we may want later in my pocket."
"Sure, ok," Finn said, as he draped Kurt's jacket across the bottom of the bed and went back to kissing Kurt and removing their clothes.
Once they were each in only their underwear, Kurt laid back on the bed. "You'll want to get the stuff out of my jacket pocket now, Finn."
"Ok," Finn nodded. He reached into Kurt's pocket and pulled out a small packet of lube and several condoms. His eyes widened. "Oh!"
Kurt bit his bottom lip and watched as Finn blushed fire engine red. He reached out and put a hand on Finn's arm. "Don't worry if you're not sure what to do, I can walk you through it."
Finn didn't think it was possible, but his eyes widened even more. "Walk me through it?" He shook his head. "No. No, Kurt."
Kurt's eyes glistened with tears. "No? You don't want to do this?" Kurt tried to sit up, to cover himself.
Finn laid the items in his hand aside and pulled Kurt into his arms. "Kurt, of course I do. And we will, but not tonight."
"You do?" Kurt sniffled.
"I really do," Finn said. "I just want it to be special and perfect for us. Not in my dorm room just because my roommate was nice enough to spend the night with his boyfriend."
"And it will be special," Kurt said, "because it'll be you; it'll be us."
Finn nodded. "No, you're right. Just, let me make it as special as I can for you?" Finn pressed his lips against Kurt's, kissing him softly. "We haven't even been on a real date yet Kurt," Finn laughed. "That doesn't really seem like us, you know."
"Maybe," Kurt agreed. "But it also kind of feels like something that's been building up for a long time already."
Finn nodded. "When we do this though, you're going to, I mean, you'll take the lead right?"
"Sure," Kurt said, "I can walk you through it and tell you what you need to do to me to get me ready."
Finn felt his eyebrows furrow in confusion. "You want me to get you ready?" Finn's face flushed red. "Oh! I just kind of thought you might want to, I mean, I'd be ok with you, doing that to me."
"OH!" Kurt exclaimed. "Wow. Ok, sure, I mean with Blaine I always topped, but I never would have figured you for a bottom." Kurt took one of Finn's hands and put it against his chest, over his heart. "It's just, I always topped with Blaine and so I mean, no one's ever done that to me. Before Blaine, I always kind of wished it would be you, I just never thought it might actually get to be you until recently."
Finn leaned in and kissed him tenderly. "God, Kurt, yes. I'll do whatever you want," Finn said as he swallowed hard. "I just didn't want it to seem like it had to be me that, that topped," his voice broke on the last word. "I want it to be great, perfect, for you."
Kurt nodded. "It will be. There are some couples that switch; or so they say. That could be us. I guess we'll see." Kurt exhaled loudly. "I kind of thought Blaine and I might be that way too, but he was pretty insistent on bottoming all the time."
Finn leaned in and kissed Kurt again. "There you go, not being able to take a compliment again," Finn joked. "I'd say that clearly means you are very good at it." Finn helped lay Kurt back on the bed and stretched out above him. "Now that we've seemingly covered that, and we've established that it won't happen tonight, but soon. What can I do for you right now?"
000
The next day, Kurt sat with Santana, who had come back to support their friends and especially Brittany, in the McKinley High auditorium watching the new New Directions perform at Regionals. Kurt knew from talking to Finn that he and Artie had actually thought of using Hall of Fame as their opening number and featuring the guys heavily through it. Finn had emailed Mike and started setting up Skype sessions and getting detailed choreography plans for the group to follow while Mike finished up his last weeks at school. The work had paid off though; Kurt thought it was possibly one of the better performances he had seen.
Finn had also confided to Kurt that he had no clue on a song that would work equally well for the girls and was feeling at a loss since they all felt they deserved solos. But in the end Finn had heard the song playing on Tina's phone with Tina kind of singing along to it. It was Finn's gut instinct, and he had turned to Mercedes for help with how to reign in his girls. Kurt had to admit that whatever Mercedes had suggested was brilliant because Kurt had not seen the girls quite so focused and working together as a team.
But it was Marley's original song that really got to Kurt and tore him up. It wasn't the first time the New Directions had done original songs; it wasn't even the first original song duet, but it did bring back memories of junior year. It wasn't even watching Blaine duet with someone, watching him pour his heart and soul into a song. And usually, usually that was where Blaine got Kurt. But while Kurt was happy for his friend, it was the lyrics to the song that Kurt was focusing on. For the past few months, Kurt had been so afraid of being hurt again that he had been fighting himself to keep Finn at an arms length. There shouldn't have been a reason to doubt Finn, and truth be told, Finn had proved to Kurt over the past few months that they could, in fact, make a long distance relationship work. It was time for Kurt to be honest.
"Those tears aren't for Blaine are they?" Santana asked as she handed Kurt a tissue to wipe at the wetness on his cheeks.
"No, they're not," Kurt agreed. "I just realized that by trying to keep myself from getting hurt by someone again, I may have hurt him just as much."
Santana nodded. "No one wants to get their heart broken Hummel, and I think very few people set out to actually break someone else's heart either." She lowered her voice considerably. "And this is Finn we're talking about. You and I both know he'd never set out to break your heart. He would, and he has, put other people's happiness above his own. Especially when it comes down to one of us." She gestured to group on stage, meaning their glee club family. "But this is also Finn we're talking about, not always the brightest bulb even if he's big hearted. Don't put him back up on that pedestal Hummel; neither of you will be able to survive it."
"I'm trying," Kurt sniffed.
It wasn't a real surprise when the New Directions won the competition; the real surprise happened after. While everyone was celebrating in the choir room, Ms. Pillsbury appeared with a priest and she and Mr. Schue got married right then and there. Kurt knew Finn would be upset that he had missed it, but he couldn't wait to tell Finn all about it. They had plans to meet for dinner and to discuss talking to Burt and going more public with their now established relationship. Kurt was anxious to leave and have dinner with Finn so he began to say his goodbye's. Kurt could see Sam and Blaine standing off in the corner having a more heated discussion than Kurt would have figured after their win. Sam's face was set in a disapproving frown, but Blaine's was lit up with excitement and happiness.
"I'm going to take off," Kurt said when Blaine approached him. "Go see how Finn's exam went, and let him know all the good news from today." Kurt hugged Blaine. "Congratulations again. Finn is going to be so proud of all of you."
"We couldn't have done it without him," Blaine offered. "Before you go though, do you have a few moments that we can go and talk in private?"
Kurt took in Blaine's sudden nervous appearance, the way his hands seemed to clench and unclench in his pockets. "Sure, I guess. Hallway? Auditorium?"
"Auditorium," Blaine agreed.
They walked silently through the almost deserted halls of the school until they got to the auditorium. Blaine led Kurt down to the stage.
"I'd forgotten how much I love this place," Kurt said softly as he looked around.
"I remember that night, after West Side Story, like it was yesterday," Blaine said.
"Blaine," Kurt chided.
"I know," Blaine said. "I know I hurt you. And it doesn't matter that I never, never, meant to. But I'm glad we are talking again. That we're friends again."
Kurt nodded. "So am I."
"Which is why I have an important question to ask you," Blaine said. He turned, so his back was to Kurt. Kurt could see Blaine's shoulder blades move with a couple of deep, steadying breaths.
Kurt panicked. He could feel his heart beating quickly in his chest. Kurt had this idea that Blaine was about to get down on one knee and propose. And Kurt had no idea how to let him down gently.
But instead, Blaine turned around, a soft smile on his relaxed face. "Can we go for coffee tomorrow? Maybe go see a movie? Just the two of us?"
Kurt exhaled loudly. "Tomorrow might not be so great. It's been so hectic since I got back; I feel like I've hardly seen my dad or Carole. And Mercedes is only in town until Monday morning." As Blaine's shoulders slumped in rejection, Kurt put out his hand and squeezed one gently. "I want us to be friends, Blaine. But I don't want you to confuse rebuilding our friendship for rebuilding a romantic relationship."
Blaine nodded. "I hurt you. And I'm still going to be here and you're still going to be there at least for the next little while."
"Exactly," Kurt agreed. "But I'd like to get coffee or maybe see a movie as your friend on Tuesday."
Blaine looked up at Kurt. "Tuesday sounds great. Thanks, Kurt."
000
"How was your last exam?" Travis asked as Finn walked into the dorm Saturday afternoon.
"Good, I think," Finn said. "It's been my easiest class all semester and it's the exam I felt the best about." Finn sat down on his bed. "Thanks for last night man. It meant a lot to Kurt and me."
Travis shrugged. "Yeah, well when all those friends of yours showed up at the theater, I could see the evening wasn't going quite as planned for the two of you."
"That's an understatement." Finn snorted.
"So how are things between you and Kurt?" Travis asked. "You were hoping that this trip would mark a change in your relationship status."
Finn smirked. "We might be dating now. Kurt thinks maybe when we went out on New Year Eve; it might actually have been our first date."
Travis laughed. "Oh, I put a couple of letters from New York on your desk."
Finn jumped up and hurried over to his desk, shuffling through his mail. He pulled out one specific envelope and tore into it, his face lighting up in a large, bright smile.
"Good news?" Travis asked.
"I should probably tell Kurt first," Finn said with a sheepish grin. "But my days of being in a different city than Kurt are numbered."
"Congratulations," Travis said as he stood up and hugged Finn.
Finn shoved all the letters from New York into his back pocket and threw the other mail on his desk. "Sorry, Travis, I've gotta split. I've got a date with my boyfriend for dinner. Don't wait up!" Finn smiled as he walked out of the dorm room.
000
Finn got out of his truck at the Bob Evans on Harding and quickly scanned the parking lot for Burt's old truck that he knew Kurt would be driving. He didn't see it in the lot, but as he glanced out at the intersection, it was slowing down to stop at a red light. Finn raised his hand to wave, and he smiled but then he noticed the SUV coming up behind the truck that wasn't stopping, in fact, it wasn't even slowing down. Finn's eyes widened in shock as he watched the SUV plow into Kurt and push the truck into the intersection where it was then broadsided and spun around ninety degrees.
Finn's head was filled with noise. There were horns blaring, tires screeching, people talking, screaming, yelling, the sound of glass shattering and metal twisting. Finn didn't realize he was one of the people screaming or that he was moving until he found himself in the middle of the intersection, next to the truck. There was a man in his mid-thirties with Finn; he had a cell phone, and Finn registered gratefully that he had called 911. The driver's side window was busted out- possibly from Kurt's head hitting it since that side of his head and face were cut up, and there were glass shards in his hair.
"Oh, Dude, Kurt!" Finn exclaimed softly, reaching in through the broken glass to push Kurt's hair out of his eyes from where his head was resting against the airbag.
The man gently touched Finn on the shoulder. "You shouldn't touch him, don't move him," he explained.
Finn turned to the man with tears already falling, "That's my, bo-my brother, I have to make sure he is ok. I have to do whatever it takes," he said.
Kurt moaned, and Finn turned around just as Kurt's eyes fluttered open. "Finn?" he asked, his voice soft and breathy as he tried to lift his head, but stopped and flopped back down and closed his eyes again.
Finn reached into the truck and flicked the power locks before running around to the other side of the truck. Thankfully the door was not as crushed as the driver side, and Finn was able to open the door and climb into the truck, sliding across the bench seat until he was flush up against Kurt's frame. He gently picked up Kurt's hand that was lying limply at his side and held it, grinning when he felt Kurt lightly squeeze his hand back.
"Hurts so much, hurts everywhere," Kurt mumbled as he slowly turned his head to look at Finn. Kurt's eyes kept rolling back and closing between the laboured breaths, and Finn wondered where in the hell the ambulance was.
"Ssshhh, Kurt, stay with me," Finn admonished as he stroked the back of Kurt's hand with his thumb, tears falling freely down his own face. "I love you, Kurt," Finn sobbed softly, "please don't leave me. Not now, not when I've finally realized I'm in love with you, not when you're finally ready to give us a shot, and we can actually be together." Finn's fingers were curled around Kurt's wrist, and he could feel his pulse slowing and stuttering. Sirens sounded in the distance, and Finn said a silent prayer they wouldn't be too late. "Please hang on, Dude," Finn whispered into his glass littered hair. "Fight for me, fight for us."
The ambulance pulled up to the scene and the paramedics immediately took in the sight of the truck and one of them came around to Finn's side, opening his door and offering him help. "I'm not hurt; I wasn't even in the vehicle," Finn stammered pushing her away. "Help him, save him," he cried.
A tall blonde paramedic that looked like an older, taller Sam, looked at Finn from the drivers side of the vehicle and slid his hands in through the broken window and tried to open the door from the inside. "My name is Jonas, and this is my partner Kelsey," he motioned to the slightly Asian girl that Finn had pushed away. "Did you see the accident Mr…?" he asked.
"Hudson," Finn replied. "I'm Finn Hudson. And yes, I saw the whole thing." Finn stopped and took a couple of deep breaths. He watched as the paramedics tried to assess Kurt without being able to open the door. "He was sitting at a red light and the SUV behind him didn't stop in time and rear ended him. That pushed the truck into the intersection where he was hit there in the drivers side by the traffic coming from the left and spun around and then he was slightly sideswiped by the traffic coming from the right."
The paramedic whistled lowly, "Wow. Do you know the victim Finn?" Jonas asked.
Finn watched as Jonas picked up Kurt's left arm to feel for a pulse. Kurt's face twisted in pain, and he let out a soft cry.
Finn nodded again and lightly squeezed Kurt's hand to let him know he was there. "His name is Kurt and he's my brother."
"F-fin-nn, 's h-h-urt-t-s-s," Kurt whimpered. His eyes opening slightly for a moment before fluttering closed again.
Finn watched as Jonas crossed around the front of the vehicle. "Finn, I'm going to need you to move, we can't get that door open right now," he explained. "I need to get in there beside Kurt."
Finn nodded as he slid out of the seat. "I'm still here, Kurt," Finn said. "I'm right here, dude, I'm not going anywhere."
Jonas slid up beside Kurt and began to assess his vitals. He began asking Kurt questions, trying to get him to open his eyes. "Mr Hudson, my name is Jonas, I'm a paramedic. Can you open your eyes for me?" he asked. "Mr Hudson," Jonas repeated when Kurt didn't respond. "Kurt, open your eyes please."
"His last name is Hummel, not Hudson. We're step-brothers," Finn clarified.
"F-f-in-n," Kurt whimpered again.
"Your brother is right here, Kurt," Jonas said comfortingly. "Can you answer a couple of questions for me?"
Kurt nodded slightly before wincing in pain.
"Yeah, don't try to do that again ok, Kurt," Jonas said. As Jonas started questioning Kurt about where various places he could be in pain and what level he felt the pain was, a fire engine arrived and a couple of firemen began to work the jaws of life on the smashed in door of the truck. Several cop cars had also arrived; interviewing people involved and witnesses, directing and re-routing traffic, plus another ambulance and paramedics were checking out other victims of the crash. It seemed like Kurt had taken the brunt of the accident though. Finn stood by and watched, pinching himself several times hoping this was only a bad dream.
A police officer approached Finn. She was shorter than Finn, obviously, but she had a very commanding presence that made Finn think of Coach Sylvester. She had red wavy hair pulled back and skin that was pale like Kurt's but littered with freckles. "I'm Officer Peters," she volunteered as she flipped her notepad to a new page, ready to write down what Finn had to say. "Can I start with your name?"
"Finn Hudson," Finn said, not taking his eyes off where Kurt was.
"Did you witness the accident, Mr Hudson?" she asked.
"I did. I watched the burgundy SUV not slow down and hit the blue pickup truck." Finn nodded to where the paramedics were working on Kurt, and the firemen were still trying to pry the drivers side of the truck apart. "The crash pushed the pickup into the middle of the intersection where it was hit on the drivers side by the white transport truck over there." Finn motioned to another vehicle pulled off to the side of the road. "That spun the truck around mostly to where it is now, and then the green compact side-swiped with the back passenger's side of the truck."
The sounds the door made when it was finally pried open made Finn's stomach roll, and he almost vomited in the street. Finn stood by silently and watched as they removed Kurt from the truck and laid him on a stretcher; a lone tear of relief rolled down Finn's face. Kurt was still obviously injured, but at least he was out of the truck now. Finn was about to dash over to him, but the police officer put her small hand in the crook of Finn's elbow and pulled him back.
"You know the occupant of the pickup," she said.
Finn nodded. "Kurt- he's my brother- we were supposed to meet for dinner. I had just gotten out of my truck over in the parking lot." Finn waved vaguely off in the direction of the restaurant. "I looked around for his truck and I saw it stopped at a red light, and then the next thing I really knew, this had all happened." Finn watched as they put one of those neck braces around Kurt's neck and put an oxygen mask over his face.
"What will happen to his truck,?" Finn asked. He watched the paramedics remove Kurt's boots, cut open the left leg of Kurt's jeans- and oh, was Kurt going to be pissed about that- and do something to his leg. They also put Kurt's left arm in a sling.
"We'll have it towed to a local garage, probably Hummel's." The officer continued jotting down notes.
"Yeah, that's good, it's Burt's old truck anyway and he's know best if it's still salvageable or not," Finn replied. "Shit!" Finn exclaimed, grabbing the officers by the shoulders. "I've gotta call Burt, I've got to tell Burt." Finn shook his head. "No, I can't tell him over the phone, what if he has another heart attack."
Finn noticed the paramedics draped a blanket over Kurt, despite the warmth of the spring day.
"Are you coming with us in the ambulance Finn?" Jonas asked with a warm hand on Finn's shoulder.
"Yeah," Finn stammered as he moved to follow them, but then Finn remembered Kurt always had that bag with him, that sat-something and Finn was sure he had kicked it with his large feet in the truck. "Hang on," he said to Jonas as he jogged over to the truck and grabbed Kurt's bag before climbing into the back of the ambulance.
000
Finn stood in the lobby of the Emergency room at St Rita's. He had been recognized by one of the nurses almost immediately and she had guided him to a chair and handed him some paperwork to fill out. "It's okay if you don't know it all, Finn, call your mom and Mr. Hummel. This is just something to keep you busy while we have a look at your brother, alright?" she had said softly.
Finn had nodded and sat down in one of those garish orange chairs. He started to fill out the trivial info he knew, but then he stopped and took out his cell phone. He dialed his mom and willed her to pick up quickly.
"Finn honey, how was your last exam?" Carole answered the phone.
"Mom," he sobbed, wiping at the wetness on his cheeks. "Are you at work today?"
"No, it's Saturday," Carole said. "I haven't worked Saturdays for over two years now. What's going on, are you crying?"
"I'm at St Rita's, Mom," Finn said. "There's been an accident."
"What? Oh God, it's not Burt is it? I told him not to go into the garage today."
Finn shook his head and then remembered his mom couldn't see him. "No Mom, it's Kurt. He was in a car wreck. It looked really bad, and I'm trying to fill out all these forms and I don't know his blood type or if his immunizations are up to date. I don't even know if he has a family doctor here anymore." Finn was babbling, it kept him from crying, but only barely.
"Shh, it's ok honey," Carole soothed through the cell phone but Finn could hear her own voice choked with emotion. "I'll go get Burt from the shop and we'll be there just as soon as we can."
"Thanks, Mom," Finn sniffed. He ended the call and leaned back against the seat. He swiped at his eyes again. He picked up his phone again and dialed Puck.
"Hey, Finn, what's up?" Puck answered.
"Uhm, I'm going to need a favor," Finn said softly. "You're going to need someone to help you out, so swing by the dorm and see if Travis is around or call and see if Mike is still in town or Sam or something."
"Sure," Puck said. "What do you need me to do?"
"My truck is in the parking lot over of the Bob Evans over on Harding," Finn said. "I need you to swing by, get the keys from me, then go get it, and probably drop it off at the house. I wouldn't go yet for a while though, because traffic is probably still all tied up over there."
"O-kay," Puck drawled. "Where are you? And why do I need to get your truck and take it over to your moms and Burt's?"
"There was an accident, Puck," Finn whispered. "It's Kurt. And it's not good. I don't think he was conscious in the back of the ambulance."
"Fuck," Puck swore. "Where are you? St. Rita's? I'll be there as soon as I can."
"Yeah," Finn nodded sadly. "We're at St. Rita's. I'll see you soon."
Finn stood up once he ended the call. He walked over towards the triage area and looked around for Kurt. Beyond the doors and a couple of hastily drawn curtains, Finn could see a flurry of activity. Kurt lay still in a bed, his eyes closed, his chest barely rising and falling with breaths. He was hooked up to a couple of different machines.
Finn turned away, he couldn't stand to look at Kurt like that. He pulled out his phone and sent a text off to Travis.
Hey I wont be back tonight maybe tmrw 2
I know Pucks here we r on our way soon
Ok
Need anything
Kurt to be ok
Anything from here
No nothing seems that important atm
Ok c u soon
Finn flung himself down onto a chair. It clattered noisily and Finn looked up apologetically when an older woman near him cleared her throat.
"What happened to the boy you came in with?" she asked.
Finn looked at her for a moment. "Car wreck."
"But you weren't hurt?" she asked.
"I wasn't in the car," Finn mumbled. "I saw the whole thing though. I wish I'd been in the car too."
The old woman didn't say anything at first, she just nodded in agreement. Anything she might have thought of saying was cut off by Carole and Burt bursting into the Emergency room.
"Finn," Carole cried helplessly as she looked around for her son.
"Mom," Finn stood up, and walked over to where they were, throwing his arms around his mother.
"Thank God you're alright," Burt said. "They were just bringing in the truck as we were leaving. What happened?"
"It all happened so fast," Finn whispered. "I looked up and saw the truck stopped for the light and I waved at Kurt, I don't know if he saw me or not, and then this idiot rear-ended him sending him into traffic where he was sideswiped a couple of times." Finn began sobbing as he recounted the story.
"Oh Finn, honey," Carole soothed him
"They haven't let me in to see him yet," Finn said. "And I, I don't think he was conscious in the ambulance on the way here. That's what I thought I heard them say, unconscious and unresponsive."
"No," Burt wailed, reaching out and clinging to his wife and step-son.
"I'm so sorry, Burt," Finn whispered over and over.
000
Carole somehow managed to get both her son and her husband seated in the Emergency waiting room while she made use of her position at the hospital and went to find out news about Kurt. She pulled out her hospital id badge from her purse and clipped it on her sweater as she made her way back to the triage area. Her hand flew up to her mouth when she saw Kurt. They had him out of his clothes and partially in a gown and partially covered with a sheet. She could see the many machines hooked up to him. His left arm was in a sling, and his left leg was splinted. They were using a portable ultrasound machine on his torso. His skin, normally pale, was almost grey in the harsh fluorescent lighting of the hospital.
Carole was unaware that she was sobbing softly until one of the other nurses guided her by the elbow away from the activity.
"You shouldn't be back here, Carole," the other woman admonished.
"I need to find out what's going on," Carole explained. "Burt is freaking out, Finn said Kurt was unresponsive in the ambulance and no one has told him or us anything yet."
"Soon, Carole," she said. The nurse walked Carole back towards where Burt and Finn were sitting in the ER waiting room. "I'll send the doctor out just as soon as he has a better idea the extent of the injuries. You should go be with your husband and your son for right now. He's in good hands."
Carole sat down on the other side of Burt and wrapped her arms around him. She watched as Finn stood up and began pacing the floor in front of them, reminding Carole of just a few days earlier at Burt's doctor appointment. Carole reached out a hand to stop her son. "Finn, please. Just sit down."
When Carole looked up at her son, she saw that his eyes were red and watery. Given his admission about his feelings for Kurt, and the fact that he had witnessed the whole accident, Carole could only imagine how torn up he was about the situation. But Finn sat down beside her anyway and hugged her tightly, sobbing softly into her shoulder. She tilted her head to rest against his and closed her eyes against a fresh wave of tears.
"Mr. Hummel?" the doctor asked when he appeared almost 20 minutes later.
Burt stood up and looked at the doctor. "How's my son?"
"He's still in critical condition I'm afraid," the doctor explained. "We're prepping him for surgery right now. We discovered an epidural cerebral hemorrhage and we need to relieve the pressure there before we treat any of his other injuries."
"And what are his other injuries?" Burt asked.
"He has fractures to his left radius and tibia, which we have set and will cast after the surgery. He has several bruised ribs on his left side, although thankfully none of those are broken and we did not have to deal with a punctured or collapsed lung. There are also many superficial cuts and bruises. But our main concern at the moment, like I said is the hemorrhage."
"A hemorrhage," Burt repeated. "That sounds really bad."
"It's a critical injury," the doctor explained. "The time from now until 48 hours after the surgery will be critical and should give us an indication of how your son will be affected."
"Oh," Burt said as he sat back down in nearest chair.
"Unless you are expecting more family, friends or visitors, you should go on up to the ICU waiting room," the doctor said. "Your son will be brought there after surgery and that is where the surgeon will be looking for you to let you know how the surgery went. Only immediate family will be able to see him while he is in the ICU. But others can wait in the waiting room- quietly."
000
Finn stayed in the ER waiting area while Carole and Burt went upstairs to the ICU. They hadn't been gone very long when Puck and Travis arrived. Finn stood up and started to walk towards them.
"I'm gonna hug you, dude," Finn said to Puck at the same time as he wrapped his friend up in a tight hug.
"I kinda figured you would," Puck replied softly. "How is he?"
Finn sniffled over Puck's shoulder. "They're taking him into surgery soon. They discovered some brain hemorrhage thing and they need to relieve the pressure or something? He's got some broken bones, but not ribs. And his lungs are ok?" Finn pulled away from Puck and turned to hug Travis briefly but he still felt one of Puck's hands just under his left shoulder blade. "I didn't really hear or understand everything the doctor said to Burt and he and my mom went up to the ICU waiting area right away."
"We brought you a change of clothes and stuff," Puck said. He gestured to the bag at his feet. "And I grabbed your laptop."
"We stopped and picked up some food too," Travis said. "We got some fresh fruit, some bottles and some crackers. And then we went through the drive thru at Arby's and got you some food because I know you were meeting Kurt for dinner before…". The rest of the sentence hung there in the silence between them; "…before the accident."
"Thanks," Finn said. He smiled weakly at them. "Do you want to come up with me?"
"Can we?" Travis asked.
"They said anyone can come up to the waiting area with us as along as they are quiet," Finn said. "But only family will be allowed in to see him at first."
Finn started to walk towards the elevator, Travis and Puck trailing behind him. When they arrived on the floor of the ICU, Carole and Burt were standing at the Nurses station, Burt filling out some paperwork.
Carole looked up and smiled weakly at the trio of boys.
"Travis and Puck came by with some food and stuff," Finn explained. "They're going to go get my truck a little later too and drop it off at the house or something."
Carole nodded. "Thanks boys. Why don't you go have a seat over there?" She gestured to the waiting area.
When they sat down, Puck's phone chimed. Puck pulled the phone from his pants pocket and looked at the screen. He smiled briefly before he nodded at Finn. "Uh, that was Jake. They uh, they won this afternoon. And then I guess Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury got married right there in the choir room and they're all over at breadsticks celebrating." Puck looked at Finn. "They're wondering where you are, dude. And me and Kurt. But mostly you."
Finn groaned. "I turned my phone and Kurt's to silent once I got to the hospital." He pulled his phone from pocket and sure enough there were several missed calls and texts from Mr. Schue and various other members of the glee club, including Santana. "Oh shit! I should probably tell Rachel and Santana. Maybe Kurt's boss Isabelle too."
"I can tell Rachel and Santana," Puck offered. "What about the glee club though?"
"Santana's text seems like maybe she is here in town," Finn said. "I don't know about Rachel though." He rested his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands. "I don't know what to tell the glee club."
"I'll talk to Santana," Puck said. "I'll get her to keep it hush if she is here in town. Maybe you should call Schue though."
Finn nodded. "Yeah. I probably should do that."
Finn picked up his phone and called his mentor.
"Finn," Will's voice boomed over the phone. "We're all wondering where you are. It's a celebration."
Finn smiled weakly at his phone. "I know, man, congratulations to the group and to you too. But I can't make it today." He exhaled loudly. "There's been a family emergency and I'd appreciate if you keep it under wraps and make excuses for me, we just don't want to be crowded at the moment."
"Sure, sure," Will said. It was quieter on Will's end of the phone like maybe he had moved away from the group. His voice dropped to a whisper. "It's not Burt is it?"
"No- no, I don't really want to go into details right now Mr. Schue," Finn explained. "Just let everyone know I'm glad and proud but I just can't be there right now.
"Is there anything I can do?" Will asked.
"No, but I'll let you know if there is," Finn said. "Bye and congrats again man."
"Bye, Finn."
Finn looked over at Puck who was speaking softly Finn guessed, to Santana. He sat down next to Travis who held out the Arby's bag in his friend's direction. Puck came over and sat back down with Finn and Travis.
"So Santana knows and she's not going to say anything to anyone there," Puck announced. "She is headed back to New York tomorrow and she offered to tell Rachel then. Gives you a chance to maybe find out more about what's going on before you have to deal with her."
Finn nodded his head and Carole and Burt came over and sat down with the boys.
"We're going to go get Finn's truck and bring it back to your place," Puck explained. He held out his hand for Finn's keys.
"Can we bring you guys back anything?" Travis asked.
Carole shook her head no.
"Thanks," Finn said. He got up and walked over to the elevator with Travis and Puck. "I guess we're going to be here awhile. I don't even know."
"Keep your phone on, at least your texts, ok?" Travis said.
Finn nodded. "Sure.
A couple of hours later Travis and Puck returned with a tray full of coffees and a bag of sandwiches. They had just put the bag on the table when a doctor appeared. He called Burt and Carole over, the three of them talking in hushed tones while the three boys tried not to eavesdrop on the conversation.
Carole came over. "He's out of surgery. Burt and I are going to go in to see him first and then you can go in Finn. Sorry boys, only family right now."
"Ok Mom," Finn said softly. Puck and Travis nodded at Carole.
Finn closed his eyes and tried to mentally prepare himself for what he might see when he went into Kurt's room. But when he closed his eyes, all Finn could see was Kurt in the truck during and right after the accident. He couldn't even picture Kurt from a better time, like at the movies or back at his dorm. Had that really only been last night? Finn watched as Carole and Burt both came out of Kurt's room. Their eyes were red and shiny, their cheeks tear stained. Carole pulled Finn to the side before he could go in.
"He's not awake and you shouldn't try to wake him," she explained. "They haven't had a chance to cast his arm or leg yet, so don't jostle his left side too much. And his ivs are hooked up to his right arm so be careful of that." Carole looked at Finn and hugged him tight. "Don't freak out about the breathing tube. It's just precautionary. And if they can determine later that he is breathing fine on his own, they'll remove it."
Finn nodded mutely at what his mother was saying but it was as if the words were not really registering with him. None of it made sense. He walked slowly into Kurt's room, his eyes widening when they finally found Kurt's form and Finn had to reach out and grab at the table at the foot of the bed to keep himself from collapsing.
Part of Kurt's head was bandaged, the gauze wrapping around his head and reminding Finn of that ridiculous sweatband Kurt had worn to keep his hair out of his face while he was on the football team. Kurt's usually styled hair lay mostly flat like it had when Finn had first joined glee club. His pale skin looked almost grey and there were small cuts and bruises in lots of spots. Thanks to the open neck of Kurt's hospital gown, Finn could see a couple of bruises he himself had caused the night before, and slight marking from his teeth along Kurt's neck and collar bones.
Kurt was hooked up to many machines and Finn had no idea what half of them did. Some of them were making noises, some were displaying different numbers and abbreviations that made no sense to Finn. He was afraid to touch Kurt, afraid he would disrupt the precarious balance that Kurt seemed to be in.
Finn could feel the tears trailing down his cheek and feel his breaths coming out as sobs, but they were silent in the mostly still and quiet room. Finn reached out his hand and placed it gently on Kurt's leg, just above his right knee. He stroked the blanket with his thumb and blinked heavily when it prompted no response in Kurt. It was one of the ticklish areas that Finn had discovered on Kurt once Kurt had returned from Dalton.
"Why is this happening to us?" Finn asked the room at large. He took his hand off Kurt's leg and slid his fingers in underneath Kurt's right hand. Kurt's hand was cool to the touch and Finn moved closer, sitting down in the chair beside the bed.
"Are you ok?" Carole's voice startled Finn.
Finn turned and looked at his mom. "This doesn't feel real somehow," he said. "I feel like I'm going to wake up and still have my exam to write." Finn looked back at the bed. "It kind of doesn't even look like him, you know?"
Carole moved to stand behind Finn. She placed her hands on his shoulders and rubbed lightly. "He looks so young. Younger than even when I first met him."
"He's going to be ok though," Finn said, as much to himself as to his mother. "He's strong, a real fighter you know. Look at everything he's ever been through. And he's got all of us now too."
Carole squeezed Finn's shoulder a little tighter. "No matter what, we'll get through this all together."
Finn reached over and pushed a lock of Kurt's hair out of his eyes; the same way he had seen Kurt do it a million times before.