BPOV

Monday afternoon was incredibly slow, even though the Oscars were a few weeks away, the bomb hadn't quite dropped yet. People were still acting semi-normal and I need the break from all the bullshit before it started up again.

Lauren was walking around showing off some faux gold necklace telling everyone that it had come from her boyfriend who was taking her to Matsuhisa that night.

Except she failed to mention her imaginary boyfriend was fucking inflatable and she has had that necklace for two years.

"So Bella? Nothing from your 'charming' text buddy? Or is he picking something up from the gas station later before you have a quickie in the parking lot?" she goaded, fingering the piss poor excuse of a necklace.

Stupid fucking Valentine's Day.

"Slamming down a Big Gulp and a bag of Doritos from 7-11, after giving head in the parking lot, would be a lot more exciting than what the fuck you're going to be doing tonight!' I yelled back.

"I'm going out tonight with, well... he's an actor and I really shouldn't say any more than that," she giggled trying to get me to fucking bite.

I shook my head and tried to stay focused on my response. Here I was, the one actually fucking the celebrity and she was making up the shit.

"Yeah, okay prom queen, let me tell you exactly what you'll be doing tonight."

She rolled her eyes and looked at her watch.

Yeah, like you have somewhere else to be. Wicked skank of the West.

"You'll spend an hour re-inflating your date and then furiously diddle yourself while you watch a Grey's marathon where you'll give yourself whiplash and carpal tunnel, because you can't decide if McSteamy or McDreamy is hotter!" I spat.

"Just because you don't have anything other than that planned doesn't mean I don't!" she huffed triumphantly.

I smiled and started in again. "You might want to tell your new 'boyfriend' that he got you the exact same necklace your uncle got you for Christmas two years ago. Also, being that he's an 'actor' and all," I paused, "you'd think he could afford something a little more extravagant than a 14 karat gold-plated chain."

Her mouth dropped open and she blushed and stuttered uncomfortably until she mumbled "bitch" and ran off.

I shook my head and laughed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.

Dirty Little Secret started playing from inside my bag.

Tulip was instantly awake and starting to straighten herself up.

What are you wearing?

A teddy and motherfucking thigh highs...I'm at work what the fuck do you think I'm wearing?

I'll keep you my dirty little secret

I know what you should be wearing.

Now you want to dress me? Isn't that counter productive?;)

I'll keep you my dirty little secret

Not if I can eat it off of you.

Tulip purred and started jumping up and down on her Slugger shaped trampoline.

Hmmm. Possibilities.

What did you have in mind?

I'll keep you my dirty little secret

Something sweet and red

That could be so many different things.

I'll keep you my dirty little secret

Why don't you come out here and I can show you.

What? Shit. Was he here?

Where the hell are you?

I'll keep you my dirty little secret

Outside

Are you trying to get us fucking caught?

The faster you come out the faster we can leave. I'm in the silver Audi.

Yeah, cause that just screams low fucking profile.

What about Coop?

I'll drive you back later. Hurry up

Fuck. I couldn't risk being caught getting into his car.

Why don't I just meet you somewhere?

You have five minutes or I'm coming in there to either bend you over your desk or carry you out over my shoulder.

You wanted me to come out right now?;P

Four minutes thirty seconds.

Why did I get the feeling he was not joking?

"Alice, I gotta go. Right now," I yelled out and threw my stuff in my bag.

"Okay Bella. Everything alright?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm leaving Coop in the lot for a while," I told her grabbing my coat.

She opened her mouth to ask the obvious, but I cut her off. "I have a ride," I smirked and started walking towards the door.

She giggled, "Okay baby. Have a great night," she called as she waved goodbye.

I quickly looked around the lot and spotted him. It wasn't just a silver fucking Audi. It looked like some type of race car, it had a spoiler and was almost lowered to the ground.

The windows on the Audi were tinted so dark I wondered how the hell he could even see through them to drive. Definitely not legal, like that fucking mattered. No sooner did I get the door opened and plant my ass inside, than we were taking off. We hit at least fifty by the time we left the parking lot.

I looked over to him and couldn't contain my laughter. He had on a black hoodie, a dark Foxhead racing cap and Ray Bands.

"You look like a fucking thug," I laughed incredibly hard, as I lowered his hood and threw his cap in the back and ruffled up his hair.

"That is my Clark Kent disguise. Fucker wears a pair of glasses and thinks he's fooling people. Same concept. They really don't help," he chuckled.

"See, Superman never did anything for me. I'm a Peter Parker girl."

"Please tell me you don't have a fucking thing for Maguire?"

"Ugh, don't even get me started. I mostly meant the comic. Although, Garfield could save my ass from the Green Goblin any day," I quipped.

He turned and raised an eyebrow at me trying to mask a smile.

"What? Not up for a little healthy competition?" I questioned playfully.

"There is no fucking competition," he growled, ran his hand up my thigh, then quickly threw the car into fifth gear and stepped on the gas.

Tulip was rubbing herself down with an ice cube, "you can say that again."

"Hey Fast and Furious, where the hell are we taking off to?"

"You'll see," he answered cryptically.

"That's helpful."

He grinned at me. "It wasn't meant to be."

"You could be kidnapping me for all I know.

"Are you complaining?"

"Do I sound like I'm complaining?

"No. I don't imagine I'll be hearing too much complaint out of you tonight," he winked and gave a wicked I'm-so-gonna-hear-you-scream-my-name smile.

He turned up the music then.

Make it new but stay in the lines

Just let go

But keep it inside

Smile big, for everyone

Even when you know what they've done

Where the hell was he taking me?

Stop, turn, take a look around

At all the lights and sounds

Let'em bring you in

Slow, burn, let it all fade out

And pull the curtain down

I wonder where you've been.

I was surprised when we pulled onto his street.

"It would have blown a state secret to tell me we were going to your place?" I questioned, as we pulled into the drive.

"No," he laughed. "I like keeping you in the dark," he smiled the panty dropper and got out of the car.

We got into the foyer and he started kissing me. His hands went around to my back and into my hair, instead of onto my ass like usual. His lips we're less insistent and he didn't immediately slip his tongue in. He was letting me control the kiss. I slowly let my tongue slip into his mouth and sighed when his tongue stared pulsing along with mine. The cinnamony goodness brushing over every taste bud.

Tulip was dancing provocatively around her chair and pleading for Slugger to loosen up her buttons.

Our hands started roaming and our mouths were starting to pick up pace when my stomach growled.

Stupid fucking Alice making me work through lunch.

He pulled away, and was trying desperately not to laugh.

"Sorry," I offered. "I spent my whole fucking lunch confirming a Versace gown delivery."

"Why don't you let me make you something?"

Did he just offer to cook?

Tulip smacked her lips together and screamed "hell motherfucking yes. Boy is smokin'"

I snickered at him, "Ramen noodles make me gag, but I wouldn't be adverse to ordering pizza or something?"

"You're saying that you think my cooking abilities are limited to fucking Top Ramen?"

"If the inept Hollywood shoe fits," I jibbed.

"Are you always this much of a smart ass?"

"Is the Pope a Catholic?" I deadpanned.

"I'm going to have you eating your fucking words," he asserted, leading me into his massive fucking kitchen. I sat at one of the bar stools and watched him mill around.

"If all your able to fry up is my words, than I'm gonna save you the trouble and just call in that pizza." I patronized.

He glared at me, but there was no threat in it. "Oh, she of little faith," he surmised, getting out a fry pan.

I rolled my eyes, "Alright Iron Chef, when you lose your eyebrows after attempting to boil water, don't

blame me."

"I've been cooking since God sent Slim Shady to piss the world off, baby." he boasted.

"Well, before you start mixing a little bit of weed and some hard liquor for our meal there Marshall, you mind if I snag something a little less heavy to drink from your fridge?"

"Go for it."

His fridge actually had food in it. I was more than a little shocked to find more than condiments and take out containers.

Cause then it would look just like my fucking fridge.

"Score," I said grabbing a bottle of Sammy A. Before I had the door fully closed Edward was already standing next to me with his hand wrapped around my hand and prying off the lid.

Before I could ask him how he knew what I would pick, he spoke.

"I had a feeling," he replied to my unspoken question.

Okay, let's put that in the uber freaky column.

"Want any help in here?" I asked, though I know the only help I could probably offer was to stay out of his way and laugh at him while he sweated through his own version of Hell's Kitchen.

He shook his head and let go of my hand and dropped his gaze to my girls. "No, you're entirely too distracting for your own good," he said huskily planting a kiss and my collarbone.

"Fuck you stomach," Tulip screamed. "It's Slugger Time! Batter up!"

His lips trailed over and up my neck and to my ear, his tongue darted around the lobe.

Fuck food. I''ll just live off of sex.

My fucking stomach must've heard my silent vow and decided to knot up in revolt and groaned again.

This time Edward couldn't stop the laughter. "Okay, point taken," he said chuckling and moving away.

I swear to fucking God Hale, you are going to pay for this and then some.

"You can blame Alice, her Versace obsession, and the fucking Oscars for this." I told him, irritated.

"I'll keep that in mind." A broad dazzling smile stretched his lips. "Go hang out in the living room, while I work on this," he suggested, gesturing to the huge room down the hall.

If by living room he meant the room that was double the size of my fucking apartment, then I had found it. A huge wall of DVD's, books, and miscellaneous other things were on one wall, two dark leather couches and onyx and glass coffee table were in the center of the room, facing the biggest fucking T.V. I had ever seen.

I thought guys bought big shit to make up for their lack of peen?

The T.V. was on and paused at the beginning of a movie.

"Valentine's Day?" I called out to him from the living room, examining the case that was thrown on the table. "Yeah, because this isn't the cheesiest fucking movie ever."

"It's Emmett's," he responded, I heard pots clinking around in the kitchen. "He's got a perpetual hard on for Alba."

"I take it Rosalie doesn't know," I guessed.

"She knows. Which is why Emmett's Alba stash is over here. She's been banned from their house. Rose threatened to cut his balls off if he even looks in her direction," he laughed

Mental note: Rosalie sounds like my kinda bitch.

I watched it, aka: I leaned on the fast forward button through most of the gag inducing scenes, until the part where Taylor Swift starts doing her stellar fucking dance moves and she starts macking on her boyfriend, at the high school track.

I rolled my eyes fully, fucking exasperated with the entire movie, until the douchebag boyfriend falls over motherfucking hurdle and I laughed my ass off.

"What's funny?" Edward quizzed from the kitchen.

"Sharkboy almost fucking face planted," I choked out, still laughing. I flipped off the movie and made my way back over to my stool.

"Yeah, that kid plays such a fucking douche in that one movie. Fighting for chick that he has no hope of winning over. It's fucking pathetic. And her boyfriend just sits back and doesn't do anything. Fucking pussy. I would have flattened his fucking overstepping punk ass."

I stared at him, dumbstruck for a second before I found my retort. "You just lost some major masculinity points for even knowing the plot-line of those fucking movies."

He shrugged, "Why? Stewart is hot."

I glowered at him.

Why did that comment bother me so fucking much?

"I'm surprised you haven't tapped that yet?" I teased, testing him.

Maybe he has?

Don't make me poke you with a fucking q-tip!

He chuckled and scoffed. "She and that brit kid are dating and doing a shitty job of hiding it," he laughed uneasily.

"According to Life & Style they're splitting up," I countered, smirking at the absurdity.

"Yeah, and according to Star they're sneaking away to Napa to get married," he smiled back, pausing for a beat, before bowing his head awkwardly and going to get something from the cupboard.

The conversation had taken a strange turn and was making me uncomfortable.

"So, you didn't burn the kitchen down," I diverted quickly. "Guess that means that the PB&J's are ready? Hope you used chunky, because I can't stand smooth and I only eat grape jelly."

A crooked grin plastered itself across his face, as he turned around and made his way back to the stove. "I would have thought strawberry jam would be your preference."

His answer and reaction caught me off guard. I knew my mouth had a permanent strawberry flavor going on, but I'm sure he had no idea what from.

I eyed him suspiciously over his choice of words. Then remembered his earlier texts of eating something sweet and red off of me.

"Never touch the stuff," I stated smugly, deciding that his word choice was a fluke, but worried that he was planning some version of Bella Smucker sucking later. "I don't let that junk come anywhere near me. And God help you, if there is peanut butter mixed in the same jar, because that Goober shit should be fucking outlawed."

He laughed, "I fucking hate that stuff, have since I was a kid. Mom thought I was destined to be a food critic. She would get tired of me picking at the food she made me so, she started letting me make my own stuff. Surprised the hell out of her when I started making things that were actually good," he relayed, scooping some pasta onto two plates.

He was smiling sadly at some unknown memory.

I don't know what made me do it, but I couldn't help the empathy I felt for him.

"I bet she's really proud of you," I comforted absently, stroking his forearm.

"Thanks beautiful," he returned, kissing my forehead and handing me my plate.

A small chill ran up my spine at his gesture.

"This actually looks edible," I appraised, sitting down and spearing the Alfredo with my fork.

He rolled his eyes. "Shocking I know."

I twirled some of the pasta around my fork and popped it in my mouth.

And it was good. Not just good, but an orgasm for my motherfucking tongue.

I finished chewing while he continued to watch me. "It's alright," I shrugged and took a sip of my beer.

"You're a terrible fucking liar Bella," he laughed.

"Actually, I'm a damn good liar. I just don't need to waste my awesome fucking talent on you."

"If it's just okay, then why are you still eating it?" he prodded, cockily.

"Because I'm still fucking starving and it's sitting here," I shrugged nonchalantly.

"And it has nothing to do with the fact that it tastes good?"

"None," I smirked, knowing where he was going with his oh-so-confident expression.

"So, you admit, it does taste good."

I caught his eyes, and raised my eyebrow and gave him a you-are-so-shitty-at-this-game smile.

"No. I'm not admitting that at all."

He opened his mouth to protest, but I put my fingers over his lips to silence him.

"I'm saying it's really fucking good. So you can color me seventeen shades of surprised and cut me off a big fucking slice of humble pie okay?"

He nodded, and flashed me a smug smile. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather have apple? I've always been a fan of warm apple pie," he alluded grinning.

"No Weitz, I don't swing that way. Lucky for you."

He smiled and raised his beer, "Here's to Tulip being on Team XY"

"I'm Team Slugger!" Tulip squealed and cheered thrusting her pompoms into the air and shaking them around.

"Cheers," I returned, clinking his bottle with mine and took a swig. I was trying to figure him out. Something felt off.

We ate for a few minutes in silence. He seemed kind of nervous and fidgety, while he occasionally took a glance at me.

Why was this suddenly feeling like a motherfucking date?

"Why did you come by today?" I quizzed, suddenly very concerned with his motives.

"I figured you'd like some company," he answered, shoving a forkful of pasta into his mouth.

Company? Is that what we're calling it now?

"Why? Because it's fucking Valentine's Day? " I laughed, "I don't buy into that bullshit. It's fucking 2011. The more realistic holiday would be EFB Day."

"EFB Day?" He asked, his brow creasing in confusion.

"Exclusive Fuck Buddy Day," I answered.

"How about Edward Fucking Bella Day?" he offered instead.

"Too bad he hasn't yet," I taunted, slowly running my hand through his hair.

"Let's fix that ASAP," he replied, pulling me from my stool.

I fucking giggled. Shit. Stupid fucking beer was already getting me buzzed, that joke was so lame it needed crutches.

He stopped short and sparkling green eyes caught mine, staring at me. "That was the sexiest noise I've ever heard you make."

**Sexy Silk**

We barely made it up to his bedroom our clothes littered the hallway and the stairs, like remnants of all the pent up desire from the unfinished grind offs and god-please-fuck-me-right-now groping sessions which commenced on our way up.

"You're underdressed," he said closing the door and handing me something before we could make it to the bed...or the floor.

"A blindfold?" I asked choking back laughter, and shaking my head.

"I made you dinner, you owe me," he challenged.

"What kind of girl do you think I am?" I asked innocently, walking backwards towards the bed.

"One that's going to humor me," he confirmed, grabbing it back from me and placing it over my eyes and helping me lie back.

Jesus. First a mask, then a blindfold? What the fuck was next, handcuffs?

Tulip clenched her legs together, threw her head back and moaned yespleasefuckmethankyou.

He started running his hands over my body. With each pass over my tits and stomach, the smell of chocolate, vanilla and cinnamon got stronger and my body got hotter. Only I wasn't just feeling heated internally.

"Edward, what is that?"

He dabbed a little by my neck in response. "Nothing," he breathed heavily against the spot and then licked across it.

Holy heated warming oil batman.

Tulip was panting, drooling and signaling for Slugger to steal home.

He started placing little pieces of something all over me. My bellybutton, across my stomach and in the divot at the base of my throat.

They were cold and I was trying not to twitch from opposite sensations, but I was failing.

"If they fall off we have to start over," he warned.

"That's not much of a threat," I smiled, licking over my lip.

He blew a breath over Tulip and we both moaned. As his mouth moved up my body he would kiss up whatever the little cold things were, and his breath heating up the oil with his breath and then licking it off my body.

When he got to my tits. I thought I was going to fucking lose it. He was only fucking breathing on me and I could hardly handle it. He started with my left, breathing and licking, eating the last of whatever else he had placed over my body and then switching to the right. Pulling teasing, sucking and breathing.

Both my nips were so hard they could have cut a fucking diamond.

I was a ball of sensation, every nerve and muscle was begging for release. His tongue swept into my mouth then, but the usual cinnamony awesomeness I was used to was muted by... strawberry? Lots and lots of strawberry. Strawberry jam to be exact.

No fucking way.

His lips kept me from questioning him about it, my brain was drunk on his mouth, and the close proximity of his body.

I reached up to remove the blindfold. I wanted to see him.

He pulled his lips back and stared at me.

"What's with the—" I started to ask, but his lips covered mine, thoroughly silencing me and ending my thought process.

Tulip was sick of the fucking contract negations and was yelling "Play Ball!"

I shoved my tongue into his mouth and gripped his hair. He caught my bottom lip with his teeth and slowly let it go stopping to look at me again.

The same awkward stare contest we had in the kitchen was going into round two. I shut my eyes quickly and tried to shake it off.

Possessed by Tulips never ending "We want Slugger" chant, I pushed him on his back and straddled him. His eyes dark and indignant but wildly amused.

"Tulip is losing her fucking patience and is about ready to call the game and send Slugger back to the dugout."

"On what grounds?" he smirked, grinding his hips against mine.

"Stalling," I mumbled, sliding myself onto him.

"It's about fucking time!" Tulip exclaimed.

I moaned and bit my lip, concentrating on how fucking good he felt as I rode him.

"Patience is a virtue, you know?" he growled, grabbing my hips and matching my desperate movements.

"Not right now it isn't," I huffed, sliding his hand down from teasing my nipple down to my clit.

"Jesus Bella! Slow down," he coaxed, moving his hand to my ass.

You taunt me like that and expect me to slow down?

Boy is fucking delusional.

I teased his nipple with my tongue and then gently ran my teeth over it. When he moaned, I ran my fingers over his open lips and into his mouth and he started sucking them. I pulled them out and ran them down his torso and while watching to see his reaction when I started working my own clit.

His eyes widened and darkened in revelation.

"If you won't...then I will," I blew out between harsh breaths. I would have cum without the double mouse click, but I knew it would help me go into overdrive. Which it totally did when I lost myself in UNF land.

Without missing a beat I was flat on my back and Tulip was still milking her beloved Slugger.

"Fucking Christ that was hot," Edward ground out, hitching my knee around his back, taking over and roughly driving Slugger to the finish line.

He let out a hot fucking groan and bucked his hips furiously while the checkered flag waved in the background.

After some blood returned to my brain, I remembered the eerily familiar strawberry taste that he had injected into my mouth.

I started looking around, curious as to what had the exact same flavor as my coveted candy, when I saw a few of them next to a little silver bag on his nightstand.

"Is that what you were eating off of me?" I asked confused, grabbing a few off the table.

"Uh huh," he admitted kissing across my back.

"Where did you get these?" I questioned.

He chuckled, tickling my skin with his lips "I bought them," he mumbled against me.

I turned my head to stare at him, my mouth dropping open.

"You like those right?" he goaded, a creepy I've so got your number smile contorted his lips.

"Yeah, but how the hell did you know?"

"Because I'm just that good."

"Seriously?" I pressed, confused as all hell.

"Seriously."

"That's all your gonna give me?"

"That... and the rest of what's in the bag."

I eyed him suspiciously wearing an I'm-so-going-to-figure-out-your-secret grin.

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" he questioned, smirking.

"No fucking chance," I returned, with a superior smile.

"You really shouldn't have said that," he chastised playfully, cupping my face and starting to kiss me.

Tulip put her mouth guard in, laced up her gloves and rang the bell for round two.

**Sexy Silk**

I was exhausted when we got back in his car. I relaxed into the seat and let my eyes glaze over.

Tulip was passed out in her bed, butt ass naked and mumbling out lyrics to "Sex and Candy"

The stereo was playing through the back speakers.

Brown eyes and lungs are filled up with smoke

Fast lives are stuck in the undertow

But you know the places I wanna go

'Cause oh, oh, oh, I've got the sickness, you've got the cure

You've got the spunk I've been lookin' for

And I've got a plan, we walk out the door.

He rested his hand on my thigh for a while, and stole a couple of glances at me.

We could pack up and leave all out things behind

No fact or fiction or story line

'Cause I need you more than just for tonight

You're oh, oh, oh, all I care, I can't stop my breathing in

I'm weak and you were my medicine

I won't stop till I'm under your skin

It was only after a while that I noticed that we were nowhere near work or Coop.

"Where are we?" I asked, rubbing my eyes slightly, realizing I had fallen asleep.

"Los Angeles."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes. Rand McNally, I gathered that. Where in Los Angeles?"

Before we could answer I saw intersection signs. We stopped at the corner of Laurel Canyon and turned right on Mulholland Dr.

"Why the hell are we going up Mulholland Drive?" I laughed. "If you're trying to get rid of me you're supposed to drop me from a plane first," I joked.

He laughed. "You ever been up here?"

"No," I answered. "If I wanted to drive dirty curved roads I would have stayed in Washington."

"You're from Washington? From where? Like Seattle or Tacoma?

"I fucking wish. Small town. Whole lot of nothing going on."

"Hmm. Small town girl that went to Hollywood. I've never heard that story before," he teased.

I smiled. "I'm sure. Lets leave the small town girl clichés right fucking there."

"Alright," he snickered. "So can I ask why?"

His questions we're getting a little too personal.

"Not all that dissimilar for anyone else that ends up here on a one way Greyhound ticket."

"You wanted to be an actress?" he ventured.

I grimaced. "Not even."

"Singer?"

"Does it really matter?" I answered, not really comfortable having this conversation with him.

"As a general rule, I like to know more about the woman I'm fucking than her bra size."

I laughed. "You must have one hell of a rolodex of info up there," I quipped and tapped his temple.

He gave a half hearted chuckle and a faint "yeah" before pulling off the side of the road and killing the engine.

It was pitch dark now.

We got out and stood on the side of the road and the view shocked me.

There was L.A. completely lit up in a million different colors against the night sky. The 101 running along the side, red and white blurs flowing in either direction.

"The Hollywood Bowl is down there," he pointed, jarring me.

"So that means that the Hollywood sign is up there," I confirmed looking in the general direction and spotting it quickly.

It was a really amazing vantage point. I couldn't believe that I had never been up there before. It made Los Angeles look a little less Escape from L.A. and a little more City of Angels.

"You look kind of impressed," he prodded, putting his arm around me.

"Do I?"

He nodded, a smug smile plastered to his face.

"Hate to break it to you, but you're impressing a girl you're already screwing. It's kind of a waste,"I whispered.

"No. It's not," he said seriously.

I smiled up at him and leaned my head against his chest.

"Happy EFB Day," he whispered, kissing my hair.

A/N:

So what did you all think of EFB day?

Shout out to my awesome beta and all the time she sacrifices to help fix my endless mistakes- I flove you bb and cannot thank you enough.

To all the peeps recc'ing tweeting, pimping and reviewing it means the world smooches u all!

Songs in this chapter were Lights and Sounds by Yellowcard. & Five Minutes to Midnight by Boys Like Girls.

The Oscars are next...I smell fun;)