If Tomorrow Wasn't Such a Long Time
Hope you all enjoyed the last chapter I had a lot of feels writing it. Want to thank a friend of mine for being my support in bouncing off ideas and really getting my mind jogged to write the previous chapter. He and I Caryl hard when we're together, lol!
Also: I own nothing in regards to The Walking Dead. All rights belong to the copyright holder.
Chapter 10
Carol sat on edge. Knife clutched deftly in her fingers. Judith lay next to her wrapped tightly in Daryl's blanket-poncho soundly sleeping. Every slight crunch of bramble and snap of twigs sent her senses in complete alert overdrive. She hadn't slept in the few days she had sat waiting for Daryl, Rick or anyone for that matter to meet back with her. She kept constant vigil with Judith, spending all her time caring for the baby in hopes of preventing her from wailing and letting their presence be known to the walkers meandering nearby.
Despite the fall chill, Carol made no fire. She had learned how on numerous occasions watching Daryl make them during the winter months. She was hesitant to start one in the event that the Woodbury people were out hunting for her and Judith. Or making their location known to the non-living things moving about in the darkness. She refused to let them know she had escaped. To let the others down by getting caught and killed. To show Daryl that she could be as strong as he thought her to be. To make him proud of her, if he ever made it back to find her.
She bit down on her lip to keep herself from whimpering. There was no way Carol could last more than a few more days on what little rations had been packed. Daryl must have assumed that they would be back for her sooner than that. About a week's worth of formula had been packed, but being that babies went through feedings so often it was running out faster than intended. But Carol had to wait. What more could she do? She couldn't just up and leave. What if the others made it back and she was already gone? What then? How would they find her? Carol had to just tough it out until the others came to retrieve her and Judith... Whenever that was.
The day was muggy. The sky a solemn gray. The clouds that lingered about could have been misconstrued as the sky itself with how ugly it looked. Carol feared it would storm soon and with nowhere to go things could turn for the worse with Judith in tow. Carol slumped against the stony wall, dirt and moss scratching along her jacket, knife still held tight in her hands. Things simply felt hopeless. What was she to do?
Carol let out a long sigh through her nostrils and closed her eyes for a moment. She could feel her heart fall into her stomach as she sat crouched on the balls of her feet. She had tried desperately to not think of her group mates not coming back, but the possibility was very real at this point. The Governor couldn't have come at a better time to flank their guard to send them in a frantic chaos. If his initial plan had been to scatter them and whittle them down that way: mission accomplished.
Carol's eyes fluttered open and she looked over to Judith who slept peacefully with a pacifier lolling out of her mouth. She feebly smiled at this and reached over to remove it. At the slightest movement of her pacifier, Judith was in disagreement and in the process of letting out a loud wail. Quickly Carol put the pacifier back in Judith's mouth and began rubbing her belly, gently cooing to calm her. Any alarming sound could send a number of walkers in the vicinity headed for them. So far, Carol had done well to keep Judith quiet, which was not terribly difficult. She was a rather quiet baby to begin with.
She smiled fondly at Judith, recalling something Beth had mentioned to her a while ago. Carol had been surprised to hear that the day Judith was born, Daryl had taken up the initiative to go out on a run for formula and had quieted the baby without effort. Despite his gruffness he had had interacting with Sophia when she had been alive, Carol had a hard time fathoming that he had been so gentle with Judith. From what Beth had said, he looked like a 'proud and scared papa' holding his baby for the first time. She smiled warmly at Judith and brushed light fingers across her little fluff of hair. How could he not be gentle with something so precious as this existing in this world? All she had was Rick, Carl, and the rest of their ragtag family. Someone had to look out for her.
She sighed once more, eyes closing shut. She was so tired and exhausted. Her body ached, fingers were numb, feet were sore, her back stiff. She knew she had a few bruises from fending off the few walkers that ventured too close. Every inch of her body ached something awful. Her thoughts began to meander elsewhere as she waited with the knife in hand prepared to defend her campsite. Carol wondered where her family was, if they were OK, if they made it out alive. Were they safe? She prayed for the first time in a long time that they would be on their way. That they would have safe travels. That everyone had found a new place for them to shelter. That she would see his face once more.
Carol couldn't stop thinking about Daryl's chapped lips, his hands with the thick callouses on his finger tips. Being a redneck, she knew he must have constantly worked with his hands. She imagined before the world went to hell in a hand basket, Daryl may have been a car mechanic with his grease rag that always hung from his pocket or perhaps a construction worker. He knew his tools and was skilled when it came to such things. Or maybe he was just a hunter. She could never be sure. Daryl did not speak much of his life prior to the end of the world. His hands would always be rough and calloused from blisters. They could never be soft, however, his touch had been gentle and feather light on her skin. She had not opened her eyes and she wished she had. She wanted to gaze upon his blue eyes for one last time...
There were so many things that had flooded her senses all at once after she'd pulled away from his gesture. She wanted to tell him that she loved him. Words she knew she should have told him so many times before. She wanted to thank him for everything he had done for her. Everything he had taught her. She wanted to thank him above all else for believing in her. Carol didn't want to move away from him, but she did. She had to. The Governor's men had made it into the Prison. His heart had pounded furiously beneath clammy skin causing her own muscles to tense up.
The night before the prison had been taken flashed in her head. She had gone to his cell to seek comfort. Carol knew she was going to push his boundaries but she didn't care. If they were only a day's way from not being around alive together, she would take advantage of it and not waste it. She had to know that he felt the same way as she did. After all they had been through? Carol had to let him know that she loved him and that whatever happened she was grateful that he had been hers.
Of course, he had been skittish. Carol knew that he was resistant to physical touch. It was his kryptonite. He had gone rigid under the palm of her hand, but did not flee. She had been grateful for his courage in that moment. For someone so fearless against a dozen or so walkers, Carol could feel him tremble beneath her gentle touch in an instant, hear his breath coming out in shaky puffs. She knew he wanted to runaway but she wouldn't let him. Carol had leaned in to his face, gently brushing her lips against his. She caught his eyes widening and it made her stomach turn. She saw the fear set in his eyes and Carol was well aware of what she was doing to him. Thinking better of the situation, she softly nuzzled her head into Daryl's chest and pulled her body close to his taking a long shuddering breath.
A branch snapped and Carol's thoughts suddenly disappeared. Her image of Daryl gone and her instinct to survive kicked in. She drew her knife up in front of her and poised to thrust like Daryl had shown her, other hand tucked close to her chin if she needed to act defensively. Slowly, she crept towards the noise, ears pricking at each sound.
The cracking of twigs and the crunching of brambles echoed loud in the deafening silence. She edged as close as she could to the end of her enclosure still keeping a hawk-like gaze on Judith. She pressed her back up against the stone wall trying to make herself as flat as possible. The noises grew closer and her heart beat loud into her ears. She feared she would drown in the noise and would wind up getting caught.
Carol took one last look at Judith swallowing the lump in her throat realizing that this could possibly be the last time she ever see her and lunged from around the corner using her momentum to overthrow the attacker. It hissed and growled under her pounce, spitting up a concoction of coagulated blood and rotting teeth. Its jaw dangling by a few stringy muscles of flesh, hands flailing wildly as the two toppled to the ground. Carol quickly thrust her knife repeatedly into the walker's skull till nothing but a slaughtered mess was left of its head. She sat on top of its body with wild eyes dancing about its now further mutilated corpse.
Carol let out a shuddering gasp and sheathed the knife. Slipping off the side of its body, she kicked it away from her in disgust. She crawled backwards until her back was pressed firm against the comfort of the stone wall. She dropped her head to her shoulder and cast a glance over to Judith who slumbered unfazed by all the commotion. She let out an incredulous chuckle at the hilarity of it all. Of course she would still be sleeping. Judith slept like a damned rock. Carol's chest was heaving with deep shaky breaths. She could feel the adrenaline coursing through her body. She brought her twitchy hands to her head and began raking her fingers through her shaggy cropped hair trying to hold in her mewls of help. She closed her eyes as tears began welling up at the corners.
"I can't do this. I can't do this." She whispered repeatedly.
That had been the 6th walker to venture too close to her camp. It wouldn't be long before she would be encountered by a herd and then what? Carol knew she couldn't stand a chance with more than one. Something had to be done. And soon.
Carol knew that if Daryl had caught her saying such a thing, he'd be all over her in a second. He'd have an accusing finger in her face telling her that she was dead wrong and to look at where she was and how far she had gotten on her own. He would be right. It had been almost a week and here Carol was: alive and alone with an infant in walker-infested territory. Surviving, if you could call it that.
She had to keep going. If not for herself, but for the baby that had been placed in her protective care. She let out a deep breath wiping her eyes and crawled over towards the walker she had just stabbed to death. Carol looked over its body and began rummaging through its pockets. Each time she would cautiously plunge her hand inside a pocket she held her breath anticipating the walker to reanimate and take a chunk of flesh off her bones. But each time it never happened and she grew less fearful of what she believed to happen.
Carol managed to loot a few bullets, a matchbook and half a packet of cigarettes. She smiled sheepishly at the matchbook being grateful that there were still a few sticks remaining as she shook the box. She didn't care that he had a wallet full of hundred dollar bills or that his name had been Herman Parish. The matches were a life-saver in this world. His other materialistic possessions meant nothing to her if they couldn't help her survive to the next day. She pocketed the items for now and grabbed hold of one of the limbs of the walker and drug it close to the entrance of her camp.
Andrea had mentioned that when she and Michonne had been out on their own, she had a pair of walkers that had acted as a repellent to other walkers from getting too close. Almost in a way creating a barrier of protection even if it was just a small one. Carol didn't really care. Any relief was better than none at all and she needed as much as she could get. Judith did not make things easy.
Carol dropped the limb of the walker she dragged and moved to take a seat next to Judith. She unsheathed the knife and began her watch once more. Eyes continuing to dance over every falling leaf and sound of crunching bramble. It would be another long rueful night.
Carol felt herself toppling over. She jerkily caught herself, snapping her eyes open. She'd nodded off again. She lightly thumped her head against the stone wall trying to find strength to stay awake. There was no way she could keep this up any more. She needed to move. There was enough formula for maybe one or two bottles; after the formula was gone, there would be no hope in keeping Judith quiet at that point. It would only be a matter of time before walkers would come for them and that was it.
She slumped down and looked over at Judith, big blue eyes observing every movement of the overhanging tree branches. Her hands reached out to catch some of the falling leaves, flailing in all directions. She smiled that big smile she got when she was excited and Carol couldn't help but smile in return.
It had to be today.
Carol reached over to her bag and unzipped one of the pockets, pulling the map out. She unfolded it carefully and smoothed out its corners as she looked it over. Her eyes hovered over where Daryl had scrawled in shaky print:
make your way here. - stay quiet. be safe. i'll come for y'all in time.
She felt like her world was crumbling beneath her. He'd written that hoping he'd make it before someone else did. How long was she to wait? There couldn't be any more waiting. Judith was her priority. She had to find formula. Her fingers ghosted around where Daryl had circled her current location, slowly she began tracing along a path... There. If she could somehow make it to the highway, there might be formula and perhaps a car for her to bunk down in. Carol could then rest up and be of more use to Judith with more strength behind her belt and a decent night's rest.
It was settled. This was her plan of action. Get to the highway. Find formula for Judith. Find a safe place to bunk and hope someone she knew found her. Swiftly she began packing up what items she had pulled out of her bags. There was maybe another four to five hours left of daylight. If she wanted to even attempt to make it to the highway she needed to move fast and immediately. Carol reached and took hold of Daryl's poncho. She stared at its bright pattern, fingers tracing over the shapes in the fabric. Wisps of his hair caught in her fingers, his hair had grown long over the summer. She had tried coaxing him to let her cut his hair, but he outright refused claiming he could do it himself. She smiled putting the poncho in one of her bags. She found the burgundy wrap and slung it around her shoulder.
Carol picked up the bags and went to tuck Judith in the wrap. The baby cackled and without a beat, Carol shushed Judith. This was pertinent that she stay quiet. She stuck a hand in her pocket and pulled out its contents. Perfect. Carol wedged the blue pacifier into Judith's mouth and immediately she quieted down, a large grin spreading across her chubby cheeks.
Carol's feet moved of their own volition taking her towards her destination. She went with where her feet directed her but then stopped. Carol didn't know how Daryl could track her if she was taking cautious steps through the brush. She knew he could track her if she made obvious footprints, but she was trying not to be heard. She couldn't exactly go around snapping branches or tramping through the forest like she had huge combat boots. There had to be another way. She looked to her hand having not returned the contents of her pocket back to its rightful place. Her eyes lit up and she knew what she had to do. She brought the necklace to her lips and began sawing through the threading with her teeth. Judith's hands clambering to get hold of the pretty beads. Carol felt the thread go limp in her mouth and made sure to catch the bright plastic beads before they fell to the ground and her idea was lost.
The beads pooled in her hand and she hurriedly tucked them into her pocket. Losing a single one could make tracking her all the more difficult. Each one precious. She kept one clutched tightly in her hand as she made her way through the forest. Her free hand protectively held Judith with Daryl's crude skinning knife pointed towards her path of direction.
After a minute of traveling, she dropped the bright bead and took another from within the depths of her pocket. "Hope he knows the story of 'Hansel and Gretel'." She murmured aloud to no one in particular as she moved quietly through the forest.
A/N: Hope you all enjoyed it. For updates on when I post my fics next please head to my tumblr blog at the link on my profile page. As always, read and review! Thanks!