Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy. Actually, when I think of Fenris, I think of this band's song Ashes and Wine.
"Ashes And Wine"
Don't know what to do anymore
I've lost the only love worth fighting for
I'll drown in my tear storming sea,
That would show you, that would make you hurt like me
All the same
I don't want mudslinging games
It's such a shame
To let you walk away
Is there a chance?
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?
A reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind?
Or are we ashes and wine?
Don't know if our fate's already sealed
This day's spinning circus on a wheel
I'm ill with the thought of your kiss
Coffee laced intoxicating on her lips
Shut it out
I've got no claim on you now
Not allowed to wear your freedom down
Is there a chance?
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?
A reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind?
Or are we ashes and wine?
I'll tear myself away
That is what you need
There is nothing left to say
But
Is there a chance?
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?
A reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind?
Or are we ashes and wine?
The day's still ashes and wine
Or are we ashes?
I had to post the lyrics for that because it is so completely that mid-way point in the relationship. And you hold out hope, and you wait for him, because you love him.
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But anyway, it's inspired by a combination of the lyrics for these two songs. Isabela and Carver are in a relationship. Caryn works in Ander's clinic. Sister is dead. Caryn is only a healer, she spent her childhood learning almost only healing spells. Knows but a few barrier spells and some basic defense but never learned anything useful for an offensive battle.
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Almost Lover
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Burning up, skin against skin
Memories forever indented on my mind
Trapped by her side but unable to touch her
Trying so desperately to grasp what I cannot have
I can't let her go but the peace of her arms hurts too much to hold
So instead I'm just trapped here, caught by an almost and maybe
I pray to a silent god that she'll stay waiting for me
Don't leave, Don't leave, and she stays
Why is she always by my side
When she could be free
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A mage. Of all the things in Thedas, why did she have to be a mage? Fenris watched as Caryn healed people in the clinic. He hated that she worked with that abomination, Anders. But Caryn wanted to heal people. She was so kind, so gentle. It was everyone around her causing trouble. Carver and Isabela had nearly gotten her killed in their mess with the Qunari. Caryn only knew how to heal people, she had no combat spells. By a small miracle, and help from Fenris as her second, Caryn had survived the battle with the Arishok. As if it wasn't bad enough she had that foolish blood mage and abomination hovering about her. Venhedis.
Fenris leaned against the wall, scowling as he watched Caryn smile and laugh at whatever dribble Anders was whispering in her ear. He growled to himself, wanting to strangle them both. Coward, he thought with disgust. You can't even tell her how you feel. Unlike him.
Anders reached over, brushing fingertips across the small of her back. Caryn frowned, a little, and sidestepped away. She looked up, eyes searching until she spotted him. She waved, her smile bright against the darkness of underground. Against his will, his lips curved up into a grin. He nodded in her direction. Her smile brightened and she mumbled something to Anders before walking towards him.
Her eyes were blue, like the color of the sky after a storm. Her hair was brown in the shadows and blood red in the sunlight and fell in thick waves to her waist. Fenris had never seen a woman so beautiful.
He had meant to say hello. A simple greeting. What came out was, "Festis bei umo canavarum."
She cocked her head to the side, confused by the Tevene, but smiled. "Avanna, Fenris.I hope thats a friendly greeting?" Fenris had taught her a few words in Tevene: greetings and a few swear words. Her accent was terrible, but she liked talking to him in the tongue he was most familiar with.
He chuckled despite himself. It meant 'you will be the death of me,' but that was too close to revealing his feelings for her. "Yes," he replied, instead. "Where are we headed today?"
Caryn scuffed her toe in the dirt. "I was asked to inspect the Wounded Coast again. Yo- you will come?" she asked, hopeful.
Fenris scowled. Ever since they decided to name her the Champion in that fool mission against the Arishok Caryn had been forced to do almost Guard-like patrols. Feeling guilty, Carver and Isabela usually went with. When it wasn't them, it was Aveline and Varric. No one ever let her go alone. And every time, Fenris had followed her. Unable to stand too far from her, but also unable to stand too close.
"I will remain at your side, Caryn."
Caryn blushed, hoping his words meant more than they appeared to. She turned and waved goodbye to Anders who was scowling in the back of the clinic. He was always telling her Fenris was dangerous because of his hatred for mages. But Caryn didn't see any danger with Fenris. He was always gentle with her and he trusted her, even after everything he'd been through. Thats why she worked in the clinic with Anders, she wanted to prove to Fenris mages could do good things.
She smiled and looked into his deep green eyes. His white hair framed his face and his lips were quirked up in a rare smile. Whenever she looked at him, she felt breathless and dizzy. She wasn't sure when it happened but suddenly her heart started beating quicker whenever he was near. They had even been intimate, once. It seemed a lifetime ago but Caryn was determined to stick by his side, no matter what. Even if he didn't love her, even if it was only a one-sided love, she didn't care. She'd stay by him, even to the very end.
Quietly they walked along, planning to meet Aveline and Varric at the coastline. Fenris watched as Caryn walked beside him. She had a soft smile on her face and she walked slowly, enjoying the day. Sometimes she sighed and twirled, sometimes she stop and look at something that caught her eye. She walked like she was dancing; a few steps forward, stop, move her toes in an extended point towards the ground, two steps back, forward again. Fenris was completely enraptured by her movements, eyes glued to her as she walked through the square.
"Caryn Hawke?" a voice came from the shadows.
Caryn looked around, trying to pin-point the source. "Y-yes?" she called out.
A man with a hooked nose and long blonde hair stepped forth from the shadows. "I've head much about you, Caryn Hawke. The pretty little thing they call the Champion. A pretty little thing like you shouldn't wander the streets with nothing but your rabid dog at your side," he leered.
Fenris stepped boldly in front of her. "I don't care who you are or what you want with her but if you try to harm her I will kill you."
The man smirked, eyes glinting evilly. "I'm in the slavery business, Elf. Careful, or I'll find you a new master far away from your little girlfriend, here."
Fenris moved so fast Caryn barely saw it, the next thing she knew the man was laying bloody on the ground, his heart glistening in the sunlight. Caryn leaned against Fenris' back, trying to hide her tears of fright.
Fenris gently turned around and cupped her cheek. "You know I'll always protect you, don't you?" His voice was deep and rumbly and it made her heart skip a beat. Staring into his eyes, she nodded. Gently, he wiped the tears from her cheeks.
Caryn leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him. Even if he pushed her away again, she wanted this moment to be one where he held her. Taken aback by her sudden closeness, Fenris laid a hand awkwardly on her shoulder. Sensing his discomfort, she sghed and moved away. She felt like they were almost there, if she was patient and waited long enough, he'd come back to her. Almost. So close. I'll even wait forever, if thats what it takes.
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Not exactly a happy ending, yet but I imagine a happy ending for Fenris nearly all the time so I say they eventually got together, after a good long amount of angsty waiting.