I decided to clear my head by going skating. It might be one of the last times I was going to be able to make it to Venice Beach for a while and I really needed some fucking time to myself.
The last three weeks had been a fucking whirlwind. With help from Maria, I had managed to find a place in Redondo Beach that I was happy with, but it meant my drive to work was going to be a lot longer and I was going to be further away from Edward.
He was still trying to convince me as of this morning that it was stupid to move all that way. He even tried a Tulip strike. It lasted all of two days. I showed up at his place with a Twister spinner, a six-pack of Sammy and different colored spots of edible paint around my body. Slugger flew over the fucking picket line like the Tulip-whipped scab that he was.
Predictable dick driven boys.
I still don't know why the fuck he was still on this idea. It wasn't like I was leaving the damn state, I was just going to be a little further down the fucking coastline.
I was going to go sign the new lease this afternoon. Then he could stop all this talk about moving in with him because I would be tied into another lease and there would be no room left for him to coerce me.
It wasn't that I didn't ever want to live with him. I did think about it like I had promised him I would. It sounded good, in theory, but logically I knew it was entirely too soon. Or at least that's what I kept telling myself.
Lauren had continued her fucking fake friendship even going so far as to start bringing me coffee and asking me for my cell number so we could get together outside of work and the Xanax queen was wearing on my last fucking nerve.
Alice and Jasper were like freaks of fucking nature, over the last three weeks they had been almost inseparable.
Like Siamese twins attached at their bizarre personalities.
I totally called her ass out about her and Jasper getting her freak on in Edward's guest bedroom. I don't know whether she did it to fuck with me or not, but she tried to deny it. It was almost like we had reversed our roles from the night of the Globes and it was funnier than fuck watching her stumble over her words.
She did finally admit to it, and then of course I had to hear all the finer fucking points of Jasper's dicking skills.
Apparently Jasper had passed his oral exam with flying fucking colors.
Rose and I had become friends and actually started hanging out frequently, so that added to my photo count on Google. She always seemed like she was biting her damn tongue over something when she was around me. I finally told her to just fucking spit out whatever she had to say, but she just scoffed over it and told me that yellow wasn't my color, pointing to my shirt. I told her that her ass looked fat in her pants, so she spent the next hour obsessing over it and cussing out Cold Stone.
Edward was going to start filming at the end of the month, so he wanted to get out of the city for a while and since I had found a place, he thought it would be a great opportunity to go up to Washington.
When I called and ask Renee if it was okay for me to come up there with Edward, she perforated my eardrum.
"Of course honey, did you want to stay here? I could make up your bed Oh, wait god, I'm sure you two wouldn't want to stay here! What was I thinking? I'm sure you already have a four star room in Seattle right?"
I tried to respond, but of course got cut off. "You know there are some great B&B's nearby, if you wanted to do something local? It'd be private and then maybe you wouldn't have to worry about..."
When she finally let me speak, fifteen minutes later, I told her that I'd talk to Edward to see what he wanted to do, since he was the one who insisted on going up there.
I only wanted to stick around long enough to introduce everyone, jerk Edward around by showing him Charlie's gun collection and get the hell out of there. Even though I loved my parents, it was fucking weird that I was taking a guy home to meet them, never mind the fact that during any given week he can be found on newsstands nationwide.
Esme had been doing an amazing fucking job with Edward's PR. I was no longer the rehab rebound or an anomaly of any kind and Edward was now the fucking poster child for multiple pussy hitter reform. That didn't stop the stories that circulated about us, and the bullshit that people were posting on message boards, but I did my best to ignore that shit. Edward even did an "exclusive" interview with People on how we got together, although, the Globes night wall fucking was strangely omitted.
Tulip was extremely slighted by the snub.
I glanced at the ocean still skating on the wide sidewalk when I felt my cell vibrate in my pocket of my shorts. I took it out, as I continued to go down a narrower patch of trail. I already knew who it was, he had texted me six times in the last few hours and called twice.
You know if you weren't signing your lease this afternoon for a fucking apartment you don't need, we could be having another game of Twister and I could be helping you move in with me tomorrow.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. I knew what was best for me, and even though I had thought about it incessantly, Pita was still very against cohabiting with Edward.
Tulip was fucking pissed. "What's not to get bitches? Let me put it into simple terms
Tulip + Slugger =Pure fucking win."
Pita huffed. "Let me put it into terms you can understand you cock craving meat wallet, Snatch + Pecker = Fucked.
"I think I just said that," Tulip griped throwing her marker at Pita's head and missing.
I was attempting to shove the phone back into my pocket, going at a pretty good clip when I saw a little girl on a pink bike directly in front of me, I was going to jut around her, but she went directly into my path again and I ended up clipping her wheel and wiping out next to her.
Fucking god damn son of a bitch.
I skidded against the ground and instantly felt pain radiating through my left leg and arm. I groaned and tried to pull myself up into a sitting position.
The little girl looked down at me with wide green eyes and her mouth open. Her mother had dark brown hair pulled up into a ponytail, and was staring at me with a shocked but apologetic expression.
"Fucking shit," I hissed, trying to look at my leg.
"Mommy, she owes two quarters to the bad word jar," the little girl said quietly.
Get prepared kid, I'm gonna owe you a fucking fifty if I can't get up.
"I'm so sorry, she's just learning how to ride," the mother explained frantically. "Are you okay?"
I nodded and tried to get up but realized immediately that I had sprained my left ankle in my fall. In addition to that, my leg looked like I tried to wax it with a fucking weedwacker.
"Motherfucking god dammit," I growled, looking myself over.
The woman got a good look at my injuries and cringed. "Should I call you an ambulance?"
"No, I'll be fine. If you could hand me my phone though?" I asked through a steadying breath. She trotted over to where it had landed and picked it up.
Luckily it was still in one piece and functioning, the case was fucked though.
"Thanks," I replied. She started looking at me intently.
Everything was stinging like a motherfucker. I knew I wasn't going to be able to skate back to Coop, let alone drive. I hobbled over to the side of the trail and collapsed onto the grass and quickly scrolled through my numbers.
I thought about calling Edward, but that's all I would fucking need. I swear the paps had his ass lojacked somehow. Calling Rose posed the same problem, even though we had been seen together multiple times, I didn't want this shit to be documented. Not that those assholes would get here that quick, but I didn't want to risk it.
I tried Alice, but it went to voicemail, so the only person I could think of was Emmett.
He answered on the second ring.
"Hey Bootylicious, What's up girl?"
I let out a small laugh, he only called me that now when Rose wasn't around. "Hey Emmett, I need another favor."
"Dude, I am not arranging another limo heist," he joked.
I winced. "Good I wouldn't be able to get in the fucking back anyway. I just mangled my leg and sprained my ankle. I think fucking around in small spaces is out for a while. I do need a ride however and some bandages."
"Oh shit! Where are you?"
"Venice Beach, near the skate park," I told him.
"We'll, be there in a few. Hang on half pint."
"Thanks, Emmett," I took a deep breath. The pain wasn't so bad, but more people were starting to stare and I did not need any more fucking attention.
Wait did he say 'we'?
I went to ask him who the fuck he meant by we, but the line was dead.
The woman and her daughter were still there, looking guilty, along with a few others. "Did you get hold of someone?" she asked timidly. I nodded, trying to focus on something else.
"Now I know where I recognize you from, you're Bella Swan right? You're dating Edward Cullen?"
Really? I couldn't remain anonymous? Especially right now?
"Yeah," I replied, uneasily.
She snickered. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. I'm Heidi, my husband works as a grip."
Thank fuck it wasn't some fangirl.
"Nice to meet you," I offered, gingerly taking off my skates, noticing my ankle was already starting to swell.
"You too, wish it was under better circumstances."
I gave her a small smile.
"Momma is the lady okay? She's bleeding," the little girl questioned in a small voice.
"She's going to be fine baby," Heidi assured. "Why don't we try to get you some ice for that ankle?"
"That's really not necessary."
"Of course it is, we'll be right back." I watched them walk away and over towards one of the cafes.
About ten minutes passed, I was using the time to organize my thoughts and block out the pain in my leg when I sensed someone coming close to me.
I opened my eyes thinking it was Heidi and her daughter returning, but it wasn't.
It was the asshat with the fucking BMW that caught Edward and I on the motorcycle outside the poolhall. James or what the fuck ever his name was.
Why the fuck was he here?
"What the hell do you want?" I asked, rolling my eyes.
"Nothing," he chuckled. "Just came over to see if you were alright?"
He shouldn't care whether I'm alright or not.
"I'm fab-fucking-tastic." I answered motioning to my leg. "What are you doing here?"
"What? I can't enjoy the beach like everyone else?"
I gave him an do I look fucking stupid stare.
He shrugged, wearing a creepy pod people smile. "Convincing Cullen to say that you are his girlfriend. Not a small feat."
"Who knew the truth would sell so fucking well?" I mumbled. "Not that it's any of your fucking business."
"So what's his deal? Use you to make him appear wholesome and reformed, until he dumps you for the next actress that raises his flag? Come on Bella, we all know how this works," he prodded.
"Fuck off asshole," I spat. "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about."
He was lucky that I was practically immobile or his ass would be catatonic.
"I've seen it countless times Bella," he said with a sigh. "You both live in different worlds, he's never going to be happy with you the way you are."
"Hey Bruno Mars, get the fuck away from me before I have you committed."
"You're too hot for him anyway, I've got pictures to prove it," his smile grew wider.
What the fuck did that mean?
"Get the fuck away from me," I said through my teeth. "Or you're going to have a skate embedded in your goddamned head."
"See? You're too fiery for him, Bella," he chuckled. "Too much woman for that pansy ass. He took you in the bathroom to fuck you. I would have done you in the pool," he said pointedly.
"Cutting off his junk is too fucking good for him,"Pita seethed.
"It was you? You fucking asshole!" I sneered.
He just laughed. "I suppose I should thank you. The payday from that escapade paid for my trip to Aruba."
"Pity the plane didn't fucking crash."
"Don't be like that Bella," he returned mockingly. "When Cullen is done with you, we could have some fun. I've already seen you in action," he winked.
"I don't dig interspecies erotica fucko. You have no chance in hell with me!" I growled, a few passersby stopped and started staring at the two of us.
"I think it's time for you back the fuck off," Emmett's voice came up from behind me. He was immediately putting himself between James and I.
"The lady and I were just talking," James dodged. "Weren't we Bella?"
"Yeah, you were talking out of your ass and I was trying to get you to go the fuck away."
"Can you walk?" I heard Edward whisper in my ear.
My eyes widened as my head turned in his direction. He was stooping down next to me, a hat and sunglasses covering his face.
Now I know what Emmett meant by we.
"If I could, I wouldn't be sitting here listening to this fucknut," I answered quietly. Edward gave me a relieved smile, while he carefully slid his hands and arms under me in order to pick me up. It was such a damsel in distress moment that if I wasn't in pain, I would be nauseated by the amount of cliché going on.
"Oh, and the boyfriend comes to the rescue, how gallant Cullen."
"Fuck off Caffy," Edward barked. "You better stay the hell away from her."
Heidi and her daughter had just made it back.
"Here's your ice Bella," she said handing me the bag. "What's going on here?" Her eyes darting around the scene in front of her.
"Nothing, just some jerk that doesn't know when to shut up, " I responded, putting the ice onto my ankle. "He was just leaving." I glared at him, hoping he'd get the fucking message.
James smirked and raised his hands in defeat. "Another time then Bella. Think about what I said."
Yeah fucking right.
James walked hurriedly away and out of sight.
"That fucking douche was lucky I didn't beat the holy sh..."
"Em, little ears are listening man," Edward interrupted.
Emmett turned around and caught sight of Heidi and her daughter. "Oh, sorry."
"It's okay," Heidi laughed. "She's heard worse."
"Thanks for the ice Heidi," I said, shifting slightly in Edward's arms.
"No problem Bella, I hope you're okay."
"I will be. Just a few scrapes."
She nodded and politely smiled at the three of us. "Come on Destiny. Let's go."
**Sexy Silk**
I told Edward and Emmett about the fucked up things James was spewing as we drove back to Edward's place.
"I don't like it E," Emmett said from the driver's seat. "He was there at the pool that night and he was there today..."
I spoke through a hiss when Edward sprayed antibiotic on my leg. "I knew those fuckers had your ass lojacked."
He glanced at Emmett and then back at me. "I don't think it's me he's interested in."
"What? You think he's interested in me? Don't think so," I rolled my eyes. "He's just some parasite with a lot of free time, and apparently a death wish, because once I can walk again his ass is grass."
"Not to mention his balls. Castration has never been so sweet," Pita cheered, flicking out her switchblade.
"Big words for the incapacitated," Edward joked. "And judging by what you told us, it sounds exactly like what's going on."
I huffed and tried to argue. "You're supposed to be the one with the stalkers Hollywood, not me."
"I didn't say he was stalking you, but he definitely has a vested interest. Otherwise, he wouldn't still be following you around."
"Ever heard of coincidence?"
"Coincidence that he was there at the exact same time as you, with no camera trying to fill up your head with bullshit about E?" Emmett quizzed. "Denial isn't just a river, Short Stuff."
"Oh God," I grumbled. "This just keeps getting better."
"I take it by what you were screaming at him when we got there, you're not interested?" Edward joked, but I could hear the uncertainty.
"Tulip is as faithful as she is vicious," I comforted.
"If she is so faithful how come you haven't agreed to move in with me yet?"
"Cause the bitch upstairs is pulling the fucking strings," Tulip griped.
"She doesn't make all my decisions," I reminded. "The really important ones I save for when I'm drunk."
"Completely untrue," Tulip growled.
"You can't handle the truth," Pita snapped. "I do the thinking around this joint and this is too important to fuck up with doing things too fast."
"How did this happen anyway?" Edward asked motioning to my foot in his lap. "I thought you had 'mad skills'?" he teased.
I snickered. "This was not my fault, I was reading your fucking text and I tried to go around the ankle biter and she cut me off and I fell."
"I guess I should credit little Destiny for changing your moving plans?" he chuckled.
"Who said I was changing my plans?"
"Well, I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure you're going to be laid up for a while with this ankle. It's going to be impossible for you to drive to Redondo Beach to sign a lease."
Fuck. I hadn't even thought about that.
"I'm sure they can fax it to me," I responded.
"And your stuff? Where is that going? You're not in any condition to drive a truck, let alone load boxes into it." he responded smugly.
"I have movers," I smiled confidently.
"I win smart ass." Pita said in her "what's up now?" voice.
"So you're saying you won't need any help? That you're perfectly self-sufficient?"
I nodded slowly. I'd a sprained ankle before I knew how to deal with it.
"Last stop people, I'm not paid to chauffeur your asses," Emmett called, parking the car in the driveway.
Edward placed my foot carefully on the seat and walked to the front door of the house.
"Then get out of the car and walk over to me," he called. A smugger than fuck grin on his face.
"You know I can't fucking walk," I muttered, pissed that he was trying to prove a point at my expense.
He was still wearing his grin as he slowly strode back over. "Ready to surrender?" he asked leaning on the door frame of the car.
"I don't know what that word means." I glared at him and tried to get out of the car without his help. He let out an exaggerated breath and picked me up.
"Why are you so opposed to this?" he asked, kissing my hair. He carried me into the living room.
"Because," I started, unsure of what I should tell him. I knew what the fucking truth was and why Pita was so against it.
"This isn't a normal fucking move-in situation," I hedged.
"What are you talking about?"
"Would we split the rent?" I asked knowing it was a completely ridiculous question.
He looked down at me, grinning. "Did you hit your head when you fell?"
"What about food? Utilities?" I prodded, knowing what I was most-likely going to get for an answer.
"With as much as you eat? You'll have to go in on it with me. I might go broke." He smiled and placed me on the huge couch.
"Would we sleep in my bed or yours?" I questioned. I loved my bed and wasn't sure if I could get comfortable in his over-stuffed, counting sheep, pillow topped thing.
"Like we're ever going to be sleeping anyway?" Tulip urged. "Slugger and I just have the demand that you both continue to sleep naked."
"Doesn't matter cause it would be ours."
"God damn you are such a sap," I said whining the last word, focusing on our conversation rather than my leg.
"And you're extremely stubborn," he returned, carefully sliding a pillow under my foot. "We could just try it for a while. Then if you figure out you can't stand me for another second, you can tell me I told you so. "
"I'll be singing the fucking song," Pita gloated.
"Isn't going to happen bitch." Tulip glowered.
"I didn't say I wanted it to," Pita shot back.
He was walking around behind me, and came back into view with a glass of water and a little bottle of ibuprofen.
"Okay fine, we'll try it, but only on a tentative basis," I conceded, and quickly downed the pills and water.
"How tentative?"
"Two weeks?" I offered.
"Two weeks! That's as long as you think you'll be able to tolerate me?" he laughed. "How about six months?"
"Six months?" I choked. "How about I get my own place and just spend an obscene amount of time here?"
"What would be the point of that?"
"Safety net," I admitted. "It's not like you're going to be around a lot in the next few months anyway," I reminded. His filming schedule was supposedly crazy.
He got serious again. "Three months? No safety net."
"You want to play negotiator now? While I'm disabled?"
"If you weren't I'd be wearing a cup," he quipped. "Come on Bella. It's not like we're negotiating how long you get to keep your soul or something."
"Too late. I already sold it for a Klondike bar when I was ten."
"That explains some things." He was joking, but I could hear the frustration.
I knew at the very least I was going to need some help while my ankle healed. I couldn't guarantee that this was the smartest move ever, but I was young and I had never done anything really impulsive before. If the stupidest thing I did was move in with him, I think I could live with that.
"But if it doesn't work out..." Pita butted in.
Tulip immediately clamped a hand over Pita's mouth "You're not going to blow this for me you know-it-all twat swatter!"
"Three months, no net and the right side of the bed is mine."
"So, you'll be sleeping on top of me?" A wide smile stretching his lips.
"If I'm on top we're definitely not going to be sleeping," I answered with a suggestive grin. "And I always come out on top."
"I always cum when you're on top."
"Then get prepared, because I plan to stay there," I affirmed.
"I wouldn't have you anywhere else Beautiful."
Snot-nosed Destiny had severely screwed with my plans. Only time would tell if I owed the rugrat a pony.
**Sexy Silk**
Edward, being paranoid, called Carlisle to come look at my leg. He told me what I already knew, that a couple of days of ice and rest would be necessary. Then I would have to start putting weight on it little by little. My scrapes had just about healed by the end of the first week and I had started taking short walks with help.
I had to take a few days off a work, there was no way in hell I was walking in office with fucking crutches. I wouldn't put it the past the Xanax queen to try and take out my other fucking leg.
Alice passed on the message for Edward to take it easy on me, and that rough sex is not supposed to result in major injuries.
I told her to fuck off and be jealous.
When I was able to walk for longer periods of time, I started moving my limited stuff into his huge fucking house. Most of my furniture went into storage, one because I really didn't need it and two, I really couldn't see a place to put it.
I smiled as I placed my tampons under the sink and my bottles of fruity fucking lotion on the countertop.
"I sure hope you know what the fuck you're doing," Pita sighed.
"Don't make me gag you bitch," Tulip huffed.
"Have you started packing for Forks yet?" Edward asked, bringing in a small box of my stuff.
"Edward my parents are perfectly fine meeting us in Seattle."
This was the sixth time we had argued about it in as many days. I had tried to talk Renee into flying down to L.A., but Charlie hated flying and refused to do it unless he had to and it wouldn't make sense to have her come down without him. Plus, Edward had some weird fascination with wanting to see where I grew up.
I told him to Google Map that shit and look for one road with lots of trees in the Northwest corner of the country.
"Bella, we can just as easily go to Forks, and I'm still wondering why you'd rather make your parents travel all that way?"
"Neutral fucking territory."
I didn't want my mother to have proof of anything she told Edward about me.
With my luck, she had every fucking prepubescent picture of me lined along the mantle above the fireplace with a disturbing anecdote to go with each one.
"You really want to stay at the Forks motel, Mr. Four Seasons?"
"It just a bed for a few hours. "
"Okay, I'll see if Chuck can hook me up with the same room I had after prom."
"Your parents let you go to a motel after prom?"
"No, my parents just said I had to be in bed by one am," I informed him. "They didn't say my bed and they didn't say I had to be alone."
I was totally fucking with him.
"You let some random guy fuck you after prom?"
I wondered how much longer I should wait before I told him the real story. I was enjoying his jealous boyfriend routine.
"You make it sound so seedy," I mocked. "If anything, I would have jumped him."
Edward clenched his jaw and cleared his throat. "Would have?"
"Jake was fucking hammered," I explained quickly. "He was asleep as soon as he hit the bed and I wrote 'douchebag' across his forehead in red lipstick before I snuck home.
"And Jake was?" His questioning continued, but with less of an edge.
"My first conquest," I boasted.
"The first boyfriend?" His attempt at keeping that question causal sucked.
"Would you fucking grow a pair? It was a long time ago," I dismissed. " And yes he was," I added with a grin, still amused with Edward's jealousy.
"So what's he doing now?"
"He owns an auto repair and restoration shop," I answered, knowing what he was getting at.
"Single?"
"You couldn't resist could you?" I laughed.
"What?" He was trying to act innocent. "It was just a question."
I opened my mouth in mocked surprise. "You may be a great actor, but you are a shitty fucking liar."
"Says the desert to the grain of sand."
I smirked at him. "Since you are so interested," I humored. "He happens to be married and his wife is popping out their fourth tax write off soon."
"Damn, four kids? That's a lot."
"One is too many in my fucking opinion."
"Yeah, why's that?" he laughed.
"Damn ankle biter is responsible for this fucking mess," I said pointing at my leg.
"I really should thank her," Edward he called cockily, going back down the stairs. "Subduing you is like an act of God."
"Smart ass," I yelled, even though I didn't think he could hear me.
Our discussion reminded me of the fucked up call I had made to my twat doc's office after I moved in with Edward. The pill pushing fuckers at the closer pharmacy said that I was out of refills and needed to have my doctor call them, because they couldn't get in touch.
"Dr. Jenkins is on vacation for the next two weeks," the receptionist told me, in a monotone voice.
Just fucking great.
"I'm going out of town before he gets back, can't you just call it in?" I asked, knowing it was probably a lost fucking cause.
"Ma'am, I don't have that kind of authority," she answered, sounding like a recording for the I don't get paid enough to even pretend like I give a shit agency.
Wait did she just fucking call me Ma'am?
"I'll just call back on later then," I replied. "Hopefully someone who actually has a personality can help me."
I had some sample packs that I found in my nightstand when I was moving, so it was no big deal. Good thing too or Tulip would have gone over there and shanked that bitch.
Tulip snapped her knuckles and sharpened her blade. "You need to check yo' self before you wreck yourself, bitch!"
**Sexy Silk**
"I'm the one going to meet your parents, and you're the one who's nervous?" Edward asked, after he caught me biting my pinky nail an hour into our private flight from LAX to Sea-Tac. Fucking paps were out snapping away while we made our way through the airport. It was pretty fucking easy to ignore them, but every once and a while I'd glare at them and reminded them who the fuck they were dealing with.
"I'm not exactly bringing the next guy off the fucking street," I acknowledged. "This is going to be like a really fucked up episode of the Simple Life."
We had decided to stay with my parents for the night instead of trying to drive back and forth to Seattle in the same day. I would have happily fucking walked, but Edward seemed excited to be slumming it in my old room and the Forks motel was booked for the weekend.
Goddamned group of women with some fucking vampire fetish were filling up the place.
"Bella, I grew up in a small town too," he chuckled.
I narrowed my eyes at him. "You grew up in Pacific Palisades," I argued, with a disbelieving laugh. "Multi-million dollar homes with fucking movie stars living next door and Mercedes in the drive."
With my luck my dad still hadn't gotten rid of the ancient POS truck that lugged me back and forth to school my senior year. I named it Rocket cause the fucker backfired and people stared at me like I was from another fucking planet when I drove it.
"It was still small," Edward argued weakly.
"It's still in Los Angeles County and twenty fucking minutes from downtown!" I shook my head. I couldn't believe he even attempting to compare the two of us.
After a three and a half hour drive and ferry rides from Seattle, we arrived at the front of my small white two-story childhood home in a rented Lexus and parked in the gravel drive.
However, ours was the only car there. Which I thought was strange, considering my parents were supposed to be home.
I'm surprised my mother wasn't glued to the fucking window waiting for us.
It was maybe sixty-five degrees, partly cloudy and the air still smelled exactly the same; like earth, moss and water. I was looking around trying to figure out where they might have gone as I got out of the car.
"They did know we were coming right?" Edward quizzed, as he saw me looking around.
"Yes, I told my mom we'd be here between three and four," I said knocking on the door. Edward had followed me onto the porch.
My knock echoed through the house. "I think they left." I laughed, kind of relieved. Leave it to my parents to stand me up. Maybe visiting them on Friday the thirteenth wouldn't be so fucking unlucky after all.
"Should we be worried?" Edward asked.
"You may have dodged a bullet here. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth."
He frowned and looked at his watch. "Do you want to call them? Maybe they forgot?"
"It's Forks on a Friday afternoon. I'm sure they didn't forget, the most exciting thing going on is a Boggle tournament going on at the fucking community center," I said reaching under the mat looking for the key that was usually hidden.
I pulled it out along with a note that was with it. Renee's messy writing coving the page.
Hi Sweetheart,
Went to pick up your dad- he went fishing with Billy and Rocket won't start.
Why he drives that truck anywhere I will never understand it. He should just give it to Jake at least he could fix it and...
It's 3:30 now, it will probably take me and hour to get back and...
I looked at my watch, we had missed her by five minutes. Skipping to the end now.
Tell Edward to make himself at home and that we're sorry to make him have to wait.
I could practically hear her fucking giggle after that sentence
Make sure you offer him a drink there's soda and beer- oh he probably can't have that stuff because all those Hollywood types are always dieting and...
"Jesus mom, even in notes you're long winded," I mumbled, reading the last line.
Love, Mom.
"Rocket broke down, so it looks like we're on our own for a while," I explained, opening the door.
"Rocket?" Edward asked.
"My junker red Chevy truck that my dad still drives to go fishing."
"What year?"
"Fifty-three," I mumbled.
"That's a classic."
"Yeah, a classic death trap," I returned, hanging my coat up on the hooks by the front door.
"So yeah, this is it," I said motioning to the living room. Everything looked the same as the last time I visited. The blue couch against the window, with quilted throw on the back. Dad's gray recliner in the corner facing their newer flatscreen and DVD shelves. I had finally convinced them in high-school that VHS was not going to be making a fucking comeback anytime soon.
"Kitchen is over there, do you want a drink? My mom probably stocked up on all kinds of pretentious crap."
I could just see her panicking over what to get because Edward Cullen was coming to her house.
The Royal Family could probably pass through Forks and she wouldn't bat an eye, but a celebrity coming into her kitchen and she feels it's necessary to overstock the cupboard with Perrier and muti-grain crackers.
He shook his head and looked around the house a little bit.
"Sure you don't want a beer or five?" I offered, milling in the fridge.
"I really don't want to meet your parents drunk," he chuckled.
"Don't say I didn't give you a chance to numb your brain against my mom's incessant giggling and screaming."
"I'm sure I can manage, dealing with screaming and giggling women is an occupational hazard."
"Your funeral, Hollywood," I shrugged, grabbing a bottle of Sammy off the bottom shelf.
Since we had some time to kill, I decided to show him the upstairs, not that there was shit up there besides my old room and the bathroom. Luckily, the master was downstairs. As a teenager, it made it easier to sneak out through my window at night.
Not that I ever did that sort of thing.
"This was my room," I said dismissively walking past it.
"Wait, I've got to see this," Edward called, before he stepped inside.
It was like a damn time capsule. My Linkin Park and Matchbox Twenty posters still on the dark red walls. The stereo still on top of my oak dresser with the skull knobs. My double bed was in the same place with the same black comforter and multicolored pillows.
"Your parents didn't do anything with it after you moved out?" he asked, sounding surprised.
"The evil was embedded in the walls, I don't think they've dared to step foot in here," I joked. It's almost like they thought I was going to come back home.
My Chicago movie poster that I weaseled out of the guy at the theater was still on the wall too.
"Chicago? I wouldn't have pegged you as a musical fan. I thought you didn't have enough insults," he teased.
"Six Oscars," I said simply. "And two women who get off scot free for killing men who had it coming? I can live through the songs for that," I responded, smiling.
Truth is, I loved that fucking movie. Though I could have done without seeing Richard Gere in his boxers.
Whoever could write a screenplay like that must be an awesome fucking director. I could totally picture him directing a sex scene with furniture that gets broken in the heat of climax.
If he did it right there shouldn't be a dry Tulip in the house.
"Fuck the MPAA Rating system!" Tulip sneered. "There can never be too much thrusting action!"
"Anyone who is young enough to need the PG-13 rated version of that movie is too young to watch it!" Pita snarled.
"Atwood won her first Academy Award for that," I said absently.
"I was there when she won her third," Edward reminded.
I glanced at him rolled my eyes. "You want to win a gold statue for costume design, you either do a period piece, musical, or fantasy flick and do it well."
"You sound like you know something about this," he grinned.
"Vaguely," I laughed.
He started looking through the stack of CD's sitting next to my stereo.
"Bella's fuckawesome mix?" he asked reading the writing on one of the CD cases.
I snatched it out of his hand and laughed when I realized what it was. An old CD of songs I had made when I was a senior. I couldn't remember what the fuck was on it, so I decided to play it.
Avril started belting out Complicated.
While I was distracted, Edward had grabbed my yearbook and started flipping through it.
"Hey that's fucking mine!" I growled, trying to take it away. He crouched over and tried stepping on my foot, and swatting my hands away.
"You were president of the drama club?"
Dammit. He'd obviously already found my stupid fucking picture.
"Yes," I admitted still trying to take it from him. "Now can we put this horrible fuckery of a book away?"
"No way, this is too fucking good to pass up! You were hot back then too," he snickered and kept turning pages.
"It's just some lame fucking pictures..."
"Who the hell is that?" he interrupted, sounding irradiated.
I looked at the picture he was pointing at. It was Jake and I at a fucking football game, with his arm around my shoulders after our team won. What the fuck ever. I only went because Jake said he'd go with me to Quil's party after and I needed a ride.
"That's Jake," I responded, pointing to his name in the caption.
"You two look comfortable. How long had you been together?" Edward asked, taking a deep breath.
"I dunno, about six months," I guessed. "It was right before I broke up with him."
"You broke up with him?" he quizzed. "Why?"
"We wanted different things," I generalized.
"Such as?"
"What the fuck is this? Twenty questions?" I laughed. "He wanted a family and a white picket fence. I wanted to get the hell out of dodge and have a life."
"Never mind that he was a fucking horrible lay." Tulip complained, "that fucker barely knew his dick from his fucking elbow. How the hell he has that many kids I will never know."
"That's cause his wife is probably thinking about our boyfriend when that dipshit wants some action," Pita giggled.
I grinned and tried to clear my head. I always had to pretend Jake was someone else too.
"What kind of life?" he asked seriously.
"A life less ordinary," I joked. "Well, one without the fucked up kidnappings and gun toting angels."
"So, no meddling angels?" he snickered.
I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "I guess that means you don't believe in fate either?" he laughed.
"Hey Destiny already changed my plans, if she has an older sister named Fate, I'm going to start walking around with a fucking bulletproof vest."
"With as many times as I've had you calling God, you'd think I would have turned you into a believer." He slid his arms around me and kissed along my temple and next to my ear.
"To be fair, I've called out your name more times than God's," I smirked, and pressed myself closer, enjoying the feeling of his lips skimming my face.
"Let's add a few more to the count" he said quietly, sliding his hands down to my ass.
"My parents are going to be back soon," I warned lamely.
Shit. I sounded like a really bad after-school special.
He wasn't listening to me, his hands were already going under my shirt and groping my ass.
His lips were all over mine, screwing up my thought process while my mouth reacted and let his tongue slip inside. I felt my bra pop open, as our tongues continued to assault each other.
"Edward," I said weakly trying to get his attention, as his mouth trailed down my neck.
"Shut up woman! This is the fucking Slugger show and no one talks during that shit unless they are screaming for more!" Tulip yelled.
"That's one," he whispered. My top made a quick trip over my head and Edward pulled off my bra.
His lips went to my throat while one hand fondled my tits and the other twisted into my hair. The heat of his hands going across my exposed body made me shiver.
I couldn't pinpoint exactly what was different, but there was definitely something different about the way he was touching me.
His hands went to my face and his passionate green eyes burned into mine.
"You're mine Beautiful. I don't want... to lose you."
My heart sped up again and took my mouth along with it. "You won't."
We quickly got his shirt off. By the time it hit the floor, we were back at it. Our mouths moving together at a rapid pace. Our hands gently caressing and stroking on another while small moans and whimpers grew louder.
He was being so fucking intense, raw and sensual. I had never been more turned on in my life.
I guided his hand down from the girls to a very eager Tulip, while I kissed him fucking senseless.
He was taking too long. I just wanted to feel him everywhere.
"Please just fucking touch me," I pleaded.
I wanted to blame Tulip but that whining begging bullshit was all me.
I had no filter. I was thoroughly convinced Pita was fucking napping.
We both quickly lost our pants, he tore my red thong off of my body and lifted me onto the empty desk in the corner.
My stereo was still playing, I could barely hear the words over my blood pounding, but I was pretty sure it was Matchbox Twenty.
For all you know
This could be
The difference between what you need
And what you want.
"I have a bed," I panted, as my ass and back hit the desk.
"Don't want to think about someone else fucking you there." He started furiously licking and kissing over my tits. I let a strangled scream and my hands gripped his hair tighter, when he tugged on my nipple with his teeth.
I managed to gather that he thought I had fucked around in this room before. I had just enough brain function to correct him. Any time Jake and I screwed around it was always at his place.
"It'd be the first time in this room," I informed him,
He stopped and a smile that could have lit up L.A. spread across his face. "Better christen it properly then," he responded breathlessly.
I let out a loud groan when his fingers slipped into me and started pumping.
Fuck. Those fingers should be registered as deadly fucking weapons.
My eyes rolled back when his mouth went to my clit and start working it, in addition to his fuckawesome fingers.
"Enter them into the finger fucking hall of fame," Tulip wheezed.
"Edward, Edward, fuck!" I cried, clenched and writhed against him as I came. "Mother of fucking god." I moaned coming down.
"Three," he commented, harshly and recaptured my lips with his.
What the hell was he like keeping count or something? What is this Beetlejuice?
I wrapped my hand around a very alert Slugger, Edward moaned and bit his lip as I slowly worked him. I loved watching the way his face contorted, his breathing accelerated, immensely enjoying what I could do to him.
Tulip was a jealous fucking bitch. "Give him back! Right fucking now!"
Just to fuck with her I decided to tease the tip of Slugger with my tongue.
"Shit," Edward hissed. He took my hand and brought it to his mouth, and kissed my wrist. He then pulled my ass to the very edge of the desk.
Kissing me roughly, and putting my left leg on his right shoulder, he made his intentions very fucking clear.
I was all for fucking on the desk, but that would mean I wouldn't be able to hear shit if my parents came home.
Fuck it. At least if they came home now they'd know I was fucking happy and Edward would die with a smile on his gorgeous face. Because Charlie would fucking kill him.
Before I could have another thought, he was pushing his way inside me and Tulip was a happy fucking bitch to have her man back.
His thrusts started out slow, but instantaneously deep. Craving more, my other leg ended up on his other shoulder, while one of his arms braced me around the back and his other hand tangled in my hair.
Our faces were inches apart and his were intensely focused on mine. Smoldering fucking green, teasing
me while he steadily increased the movements.
Thank fuck I was pretty flexible, cause it felt fucking incredible. My hands gripped onto his neck, my nails dug into his skin the closer I got.
I realized something as I stared at him. I had become addicted to him. His eyes, the way he mumbled in his sleep, the way he smiled at me when he woke up every morning. The way he looked while he was fucking me. I didn't want to lose him either.
"I fucking love y...this," I gasped.
Holy fucking hell. I did not almost say that.
"Fuck Bella," he groaned obviously missing the traitorous fucking words my mouth almost decided to spew.
Where the fuck was Pita and why did she not have a handle on this?
His magic fingers worked feverishly against my clit before I fucking started to lose it, and the quick thoughts I had scattered. Leaving me a whimpering, shuddering mess.
It took everything I had not to open my mouth when I came, but I was too afraid to open it. God knows what the fuck else I would say.
Tulip had checked into a fucking insane asylum wand was running her fingers through her lips making the crazy person sounds.
Slugger was balls fucking deep and spraying Tulip like she was on fire. While Edward groaned and buried his face into my neck, mumbling how amazingly fucking beautiful I was.
**Sexy Silk**
We had just finished cleaning up and straightening ourselves out when I heard a car door shut.
"Perfect timing," Edward snickered.
We quickly made our way downstairs. I decided that I had just gotten caught up in the heat of awesome fucking and wasn't thinking when I almost said something completely untrue.
"What did you almost say?" Pita mumbled, rubbing her eyes. She looked over the transcription for the thoughts I had while she was sleeping and faceplamed. "I go to sleep for a few minutes and this is what I come back to! She screeched. "Can you manage nothing without me?"
"Slugger and I managed just fine," Tulip giggled.
After they both hugged me until I couldn't fucking breathe, I introduced them to Edward.
"Edward, my parents Charlie and Renee," I said pointing at each of them.
"Nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Swan,"
"Edward," Charlie greeted in a friendly yet, I know you're the guy who is fucking my daughter, so I'm not going to like you no matter who the fuck you are tone.
Renee started giggling like a nervous virgin who just got touched by a boy for the first time.
Jesus this was going to be a long fucking visit.
"Hi" she giggled again. "Nice to meet you in person." She just continued to stare at him, for almost a minute.
I was mortified beyond belief.
"Mom can I talk to you?" I asked through gritted teeth, and doing a sharp point towards the kitchen. We both walked quickly into the entryway. "What the hell was that?"
"Don't forget who you're talking to young lady," she barked at me, before lapsing into her squeaky high voice. "It's just too weird that the first boy you ever bring home is some Hollywood big shot! You know down at the theater they still have the poster from his last movie and there are all kinds of girls in front of it taking pictures and..."
"Yes, mom I'm aware of the legions of fangirls," I interrupted.
"Well, so you'll excuse me if I fangirl a little bit too," she giggled.
"Well, you'll excuse me if I remind you that he probably just heard every fucking word you said!"
Renee got redder than a fucking tomato and looked back towards Edward.
"I didn't hear all of it. Just a few things," he admitted, beaming.
I grinned and shook my head. At least he was able to tolerate small doses of the crazy. Renee had gone to looking through the refrigerator for who knows what. I could still hear the giggling.
"Edward?" Charlie called.
"Sir?"
"I already sort of like him Bells," Charlie ginned at Edward's kowtow.
"Girls are going to want some time to talk about you," Charlie continued, "and I should to get to know something about you, so pick your poison; sports, cars or guns."
He said the last word with the inflection that he was fully comfortable using one and would have no qualms using Edward for fucking target practice.
I saw Edward swallow hard and his eyes darted to mine, sheer panic in them.
"Don't shoot him dad," I warned causally. "It'd be hard to hide it from the press and the fangirls would get their fucking mob on. Plus, I sort of like him too." I added, trying to ignore the fucking word that popped into my head earlier.
Edward took a couple of steps back towards me. "Your dad kind of looks like that guy from Red Riding Hood," he whispered.
I stared at him blankly. I didn't see a resemblance at all. I mean that guy didn't even have a mustache and my dad has been rocking his Tom Selleck 'stash since I was an infant.
"I think you're losing it Edward. The worst animal he could turn into is a Reservoir Dog, but as far as I know, most of his guns are upstairs." I teased.
"I'm not for police brutality," Charlie cut in, patting Edward on the back. "But as luck would have it, I'm retired."
Edward took a deep breath and gave me a weak smile, then looked back to Charlie. "I guess, it'd have to be cars then. Bella, says you have a '53 Chevy?"
And just like that Charlie and Edward were off talking about my decrepit truck.
I watched them walk into the garage, grinning like a fucking idiot.
My mother let out a s small sigh and put her hand over her mouth, looking at me as she stood by the fridge.
"If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes," she paused. "I never would have believed it."
It wasn't like my mother to be so succinct and serious.
"Believed what? What the hell are you talking about?" I asked, completely confused.
Was she having that much of a hard time believing that Edward was in her house? God if you stripped away all of the fucking Hollywood bullshit, the paps, the films, he was just a human being. Just a man.
A talented, sweet, funny, caring gorgeous man.
"You'll find out," she smiled.
A/N:*Waves to new and old readers alike*...you still with me? Sorry this took a bit longer than two weeks- things got a little crazy.
You all are incredibly awesome, and I just want to smooch each and every one of you! You guys seriously make me laugh and melt me sometimes. I love to hear what you all think- even if it is to bitch me out for not having them move in together- lmao. See? I fixed it. ;)
Have had several people as me how long this is going to be, and to be honest, I have no idea. I hate saying a certain amount of chapters and it ends up being less or way more than I predicted. It will not be an epically long story though. Yes, we are close(r) to the prologue.
As always my beta is the best and I love her for holding my hand through this process and giving herself massive eyestrain to correct and edit my stuff.
There are so many movie references in here cannot keep track of them all. And one Karen Walkerism that I know of.
Colleen "Atwood" is a costume designer that has won 3 Academy Awards and has been nominated 9 times. Her newest project...Snow White and the Huntsman.
Bill Condon (Yes, that Bill Condon) wrote the adapted screenplay for Chicago and was nominated for an Academy Award for it. He won for Gods and Monsters (1998).
A Life Less Ordinary- Danny Boyle (1997)
Chicago- Rob Marshall (2002)
Reservoir Dogs – Quentin Tarantino (1992)
Red Riding Hood- Catherine Hardwicke. (2011)
Song during 'Desk Sexing' is "The Difference" by Matchbox Twenty.
Again, I apologize for my chappy titles as of late- my brain has turned to mush.