Ok- so I felt the need to post an EPOV here, if only to explain what was going through his head in the weeks before their fight/makeup. It's mostly an "outtake"- but I didn't want to post it as one and have ppl that only subscribed to story alerts not know about it.

EPOV

"You can't seriously be considering that shit? This fucker has been in a relationship with his dark-haired shorty for all of five minutes," Emmett argued. "That is a fucking chick trick anyway."

He was shocked over Jasper's suggestion to cut Bella off from Slugger.

"It's not a chick trick," Jasper responded. "Chicks may have used it, but it works both ways."

"Sure you're not sporting snatch?" Emmett snickered. "E, don't listen to Dr. Throw-me-a-clue. You can't manipulate chicks with that weak ass play."

"I'm fucking desperate Em, I don't want her to move. And the more I think about it, the more I wonder if she's doing it to spite me," I said, my irritation rising.

"So what if she moves? She's moving to Redondo," he shrugged. "It's not an island only reachable by a fucking boat."

"You sound like Bella," I mumbled.

"I'm telling you Edward, women are just as affected by lack of sex as guys are. Sometimes more so." Jasper chimed in again.

"Are you still on that? You ever actually try that experiment?" Emmett asked, exasperated with Jasper's stupid idea.

"No," Jasper admitted.

"See E? He doesn't know shit. I've been married for five fucking years. Putting on a self imposed cockblock is useless. Besides, she'll go through with it anyway and you'll kick yourself in the ass for missing out on the sex you could have had."

"You fucking do it enough, KFC."

Emmett's new nickname was King Fucking Cockblock. It annoyed the shit out of him, because it only reminded him that Rose had put him on a low-fat diet and fried chicken was out.

He flipped me off. "God dammit, I'm trying to fucking help you and now all I can think about is a bucket of extra crispy."

"I bet two weeks and she'll be begging for dick and a roof," Jasper argued.

"I'll bet he lasts less than a week," Emmett countered, forgetting his chicken fixation. "I know I couldn't. You've seen her."

Jasper smirked and nodded.

"You assholes shut the fuck up about her. I've got to figure this out and I'm running out of time."

I didn't see why she was so fucking against it. We were just moving in together. I knew it was a huge fucking step, and I asked her as a result of her getting kicked out, but I knew we were heading in that direction, so why fucking wait?

Maybe she thought it was too soon?

The sad part is, I actually followed Jasper's shitty advice and tried to cut her off, but Slugger was a motherfucking traitor and sold me out.

I thought I had that shit wrapped up after shutting her down twice over the course of a week, but she had to bring out the big fucking guns.

Bella showed up at the end of said week wearing nothing but a Twister mat, and various colored dots of edible body paint.

I don't know who won that game, but I know Jasper lost that bet and I lost any chance at manipulating Bella.

At the time, it was fucking worth it.

Then when Bella got hurt and I saw that asshole Caffy harassing her at the beach. I wasn't going to let her keep independently dealing with the shit that our relationship had inevitability brought into her life.

Her injuries, and not being able to walk, was the opening I needed and even though I hated to see her hurt, I was going to use it.

I knew that was an asshole move, but it fucking worked and I couldn't have been happier about it.

As I watched Bella heal and her ankle get stronger, I worried that once she was completely better she might back out on our trial move-in, but she didn't.

I knew even before she moved in I was crazy fucking stupid in love with her. I couldn't exactly pinpoint when it happened. There wasn't a look, or a touch or an event that spurred it. I just was.

I had been in relationships before, none of which I was very upset about when they ended. I didn't know if it was just the fucking person, or because this business was a mindfuck and I never took any relationship seriously. I knew if things ended with Bella I would be a fucked up mess, and that was definitely saying something.

I would take stupid in love crazy over jilted fucking crazy any day.

It only got worse after she moved in and I was with her all the time. The little fucking things she did; the way she hummed while she was in the shower, or chewed her pinky nail when she was nervous, or pulled the covers around her when she was sleeping. Each one reminded me how completely fucking far gone I was, because I found all of it fascinating.

Fuck. I should just start singing Heroes inside of an elephant and cut off my balls now.

**Sexy Silk**

The trip up to Forks was enlightening, meeting Bella's parents and seeing where she came from, was a huge wake up call for me.

When her parents weren't there, I thought for a split second Bella hadn't told them we were coming.

I wouldn't put it past her to have planned something like that, considering she had some serious reservations about me meeting them. I couldn't lie, I was nervous as shit. Bella failing to mention that her father was a retired police chief with a fucking small artillery didn't help either. I hoped Bella didn't get her short fuse from her father.

She showed me her room. I figured her parents would have cleaned it out or used it as a spare room or something, but it still looked like a seventeen year old girl was living with them.

There were band and movie posters on the walls. Including one for Chicago. Bella lit up when she talked about designing, I doubt she even realized it.

I was still looking around at her room when I saw a stack of CD's sitting haphazardly next to an older stereo. "Bella's Fuckawesome Mix?" I read aloud.

She immediately stole it from me and put into the tray of the player. I assumed she made it in high school, because Complicated started playing and I hadn't heard that in fucking years.

It should be her theme song. It was in the beginning, when I was driving myself out of my damn mind trying to stay two steps ahead of her. But things had changed between us considerably over the last few weeks.

Nothing with Bella was ever simple, but that's what I loved about her. She would never just roll over and give me what I wanted. I had to fucking work for it. Definitely harder than most men would, but the challenge she presented was almost like a game for me.

A game that I was going to fucking win.

This was not going to be another Twister ambush.

While she was distracted, I picked up what looked to be a year book for Forks High and started looking through it.

I found her senior picture, while she was swatting at me and demanding I give the damn thing back.

She was fucking beautiful even then. Her eyes holding that same spark of "don't fuck with me or I will rearrange your face faster than you can blink."

"You were president of the drama club?" I asked, totally surprised by the caption underneath her name.

"Yes," she confessed still swiping at the book. "Now can we put this horrible fuckery of a book away?"

It was bothering the shit out of her that I had it. So, I of course kept flipping through it just to see how far she'd let me get.

"No way, this is too fucking good to pass up! You were hot back then too," I told her with a chuckle.

That's when I saw one last picture of her with some fucking kid at what looked to be a football game.

Even though it was years ago, the picture of her with that douche's arm around her was maddening.

I hated the thought of some else fucking touching her.

Fuck! Other guys had touched her after this teenage dipshit. It's not like she's jealous of the fucking women before her.

Great. So it was just my immature ass that had a problem.

"It's just some lame fucking pictures..." I heard before I snapped.

"Who the hell is that?" I asked, motioning to the offending picture, not really caring what the fuck his name was.

What was the first boyfriend's name? I knew it started with a 'J', but I couldn't remember exactly.

Who cares what the fuck his name was? She's yours now.

"That's Jake," she explained pointing to his name in the caption like I was a fucking idiot.

That must've been the boyfriend. Smug motherfucker.

You're jealous of some teenage douche you've never met that now does auto repair? You made thirty-five million dollars last year and are the fantasy of millions of women.

He was her first.

You'll be her last.

The thought comforted me only slightly, because I had no fucking idea how the hell I was supposed to make that happen.

"You two look comfortable. How long had you been together?" I asked, trying not to rip the picture out of the book.

When she answered that she had broken up with him and they only dated for six months, I started to fucking panic. We had been officially been dating for less time than that, but had been together for almost that long.

I suddenly felt like there was a huge fucking countdown to the end of our relationship. Even though she'd agreed to live with me for the next three months, this was Bella. She wasn't exactly known for her commitment to anything other than her job.

And I wanted her for a lot longer than that.

"You broke up with him?" I questioned. "Why?"

I don't know why the fuck I needed an answer to this. She was a teenager then. I'm sure some of her goals had changed. When I was that age, I wanted to be in a band and get shitfaced with my friends every weekend.

It took some prodding to get an answer out of her, but she finally admitted it was because she wanted a life.

She didn't make it a secret that she wasn't really into kids and commitment so I asked her what kind of life she wanted. I was sure it had something to do with design or getting out of Forks.

When she answered, it kind of stunned me. "A life less ordinary," she said with a smile.

I knew she was joking, but it made me think. She didn't want a white picket fence and a family with some douche in Forks Washington, but maybe I wasn't completely fucking crazy to think that she'd want that with me.

Fuck did I even want that?

Not right now, but at some point in the future I did. I definitely couldn't see having it with anyone other than Bella though.

I had been in love with her for I don't even know how fucking long, thoughts like that further proved just how deep I was in.

Though she didn't have a clue and I was too chicken shit to tell her.

Just tell her you fucking pussy. You really think she's going to freak out over you telling her something most chicks would faint over?

Jesus. My inner monologue was starting to sound like Emmett.

If I knew Bella as well as I thought I did, she would go screaming for the damn hills, but not before slapping me like a bitch and telling me to "snap out of it!"

This was less like Twister and more like Jenga. One wrong move and the tower I had carefully built would topple over.

We joked about gun carrying angels and botched kidnappings.

I swear I could hear the fucking Heroes song playing in my head again.

"I guess that means you don't believe in fate either?" I laughed, testing her out.

"Hey, Destiny already changed my plans, if she has an older sister named Fate, I'm going to start walking around with a fucking bulletproof vest," she rationalized lightly.

"With as many times as I've had you calling God, you'd think I would have turned you into a believer," I countered, my arms snaking around her. I started kissing along her hairline next to her temple.

This couldn't be more fucking right. What the fuck was I waiting for?

"To be fair, I've called out your name more times than God's," she answered with a contented grin.

My dick was at half mast already thinking about being in her fucking room.

About fucking her in her room while her parents weren't home.

I guess I hadn't gown up very much. Or at least Slugger hadn't.

The fucker was too excited over the prospect of wiping out any other fucking memory she had in this room. She wouldn't remember her own fucking name, let alone that smug asshole's in the picture.

He wasn't the only fucking person she's been with.

Shut the fuck up! Who's side are you on?

I made a bet with myself. If I could get her to say my name four times I would fucking tell her. I knew it was stupid and childish and above all a pussy thing to do, but I just needed some fucking sign that I wasn't going to blow everything to shit.

I have no fucking idea why I picked four. It seemed like a safe bet considering the amount of times Bella usually called my name.

When we got to three, I was busting at the fucking seems. Literally. Her swirling that hot tongue around the head of my cock was fucking amazing, but incredibility distracting.

You're acting like she's never given you head.

I had to regain control of Slugger before the indiscriminate asshole made me forget what the fuck I was attempting to do.

Great. Now I was personifying my dick. Who the hell does that shit? Next thing I knew he'd be fucking talking too.

I decided sex on the desk would be less distracting for my libido. When she managed to tell me that she had never fucked around in her room, I was beyond happy.

Hell yes Cullen. You're her fucking first in this room. Pimply teenaged fucker never got to do this.

Punk-ass smug motherfucker.

I wasn't going to fucking kid myself. I knew I wasn't fucking her. I was making love to her.

Fuck. What self-respecting guy even uses that term?

Let this mark the day that I turned into a complete fucking pussy.

Fuck it. If I was too afraid to tell her outright, at the very fucking least I could show her.

I needed just one more before I could say anything. Her body tensed again and her brown eyes stared into mine. I saw a quick flash of something before she mumbled out something that sounded like I love y...this.

I thought for a split second she was saying what the fuck had been stuck in my damn head for days, but I knew it was just the lack of blood to my brain and wishful thinking.

When she came, her tight fucking walls clenched around my cock and her nails dug into my neck, but she was eerily fucking quiet. She moaned and bit her lip, like she was desperately trying not to say anything.

Like she had somehow figured out the fucking bet I had made.

I couldn't bring myself to go back on what I had said. Even when I thrusted into her one last time and buried my head in her neck, I only groaned out how amazingly fucking beautiful she was.

**Sexy Silk**

It wasn't long after that her parents came back and quick greetings and introductions were made.

Renee proceeded to stare at me, a little longer than necessary with that look of "oh my god! Do you know who the fuck you are?"

Bella was mortified and immediately asked to speak to her mother in the kitchen. I listened in, and found it extremely funny that Renee was gushing like a fangirl. I was more than used to it, but Bella reminded her mother that I could hear them and it embarrassed Renee.

I made a joke to lighten the mood, but I was really hoping Renee would calm down a little bit, if only not embarrass the hell out of Bella, and have her more urgent to leave.

Charlie offered me an escape into the garage, though I didn't think it was entirely smart to leave us without witnesses.

The hood on the Chevy was up when we came out. "See it has a 235," I commented noting the smooth valve cover. "so your mph has to be decent?"

He gave me a sideways glance. "Had a 215 in it for a while, but I needed to go more than forty-five on the highway."

Good. I could speak Car and Driver all fucking day. Maybe we wouldn't talk about Bella at all. Maybe I could avoid the whole you're the dirtbag movie star whose fucking my daughter and I want to disembowel you speech, but I doubted it.

"Bella said it was your idea to come up and meet us?" he questioned gruffly, looking at the engine.

So much for that fucking theory.

I nodded. "I thought it was the honorable thing to do," I informed him.

"I'm surprised," he replied shortly.

He seemed incredibly biased towards me. Not that I could fucking blame him. Between the pictures of Bella and I and my goddamn fabricated reputation, I didn't exactly come off as a model fucking citizen.

"Sir, I can assure you that I despite what you may have read or saw in the tabloids that...

"You can stop right there," he said flatly. "I don't need the song and dance. I was a cop for twenty five years. I'm a pretty good judge of character."

Judge, jury and executioner I thought, trying to think of a way to respond and hoped Bella wasn't fucking kidding about his guns being upstairs.

She said most of the guns were upstairs.

Shit.

"You look a little pale boy," Charlie commented. "You nervous?" I swear I saw a smirk.

"Somewhat," I answered honestly. I knew I could definitely bullshit my way through this, but figured he would probably appreciate it if I was somewhat on edge.

"I have to say, you were on your way to wearing a toe tag when I saw those pictures," he informed looking up from the engine, his face serious.

Fuck. I knew I had pacified Bella's mother with my explanation, but I hadn't really figured out how I was supposed to appease her father.

He was a fucking guy and a cop as he aptly pointed out.

I thought of anything I could say that wouldn't make me sound like a complete pussy, a total pig, or overly important.

What the fuck was I supposed to say?

Sorry, it wasn't really my idea?

We were lucky because I was only caught grinding my dick into her instead of fucking her?

The paparazzi are fucking parasites and intruded on a private moment?

I had a feeling none of those lame ass excuses were going to get me off of his shit list, but I ended up saying the first thing that came to me.

"My mother would have killed me had she seen them."

First, she would have smacked the hell out of me and asked if I was raised by wolves.

"Read about your mother in your file, my condolences," Charlie offered somberly.

I nodded, not really comfortable talking about my mother with someone who had wanted me to join her prematurely.

I missed her. I wished every fucking day she hadn't gotten into that damn car to go to Phoenix and visit my aunt, but one thing I learned is I couldn't dwell on the past. It wouldn't change anything anyway.

It taught me that life is too fucking short, you should live for the moment, and not take anything for granted.

"File?" I questioned, realizing he must have done some digging on me.

He snickered. "Had a friend from the FBI do a full run on you."

I laughed uneasily. "Pretty much everything about me is public record, barring my social security number."

"Yep, you were squeaky clean kid," he concluded, but could tell he wasn't done talking.

"Why did you want to come up here and meet us? Not that I'm opposed, but your generation isn't exactly known for its morals. Never mind the people in your profession."

He said the last word like he didn't consider acting a profession so much as a joke.

I wasn't some fucking starving artist.

"Just the way I was raised, not everyone in Hollywood is morally bankrupt," I answered keeping my tone even as possible.

"Good to know. So you must be pretty serious about my daughter then?"

"Very. She's the center of my entire world."

Declaring that I was stupid fucking in love with her probably wasn't the right thing to say to her father.

"How's that working out for you?" he quizzed.

What the fuck was he asking me? "Um...well?"

"My guess is she didn't make that easy for you. Bella doesn't let just anyone into her life."

"I've noticed," I answered, losing my filter for a second.

His stance softened as his arms lowered. "That's my girl. Very discerning."

Discerning? I had an easier time becoming a household name than I did getting Bella to let me into her life.

I nodded, not waiting to accidentally say what I just thought.

"I'm just trying to rough you up a little, kid. Bottom line is, Bella has always had her head on straight and knew what she was doing. She makes good choices and I'm not going to start doubting her now."

"I won't let myself turn into her first," I promised.

"You better not, I'd hate to think of what would happen to you," he chuckled.

"Yes, Bella told me all about your extensive gun collection."

I was hoping I wouldn't leave Washington minus an ear or a fucking limb. If he knew what the fuck was happening in her bedroom before he got home I'm sure it wouldn't be a limb I would lose.

He smirked. "Yep, it's pretty impressive, but I wasn't talking about me. I've taught my daughter very well, she can handle herself. God grant mercy on your soul if you piss her off."

I relaxed minutely and laughed. "I'm very aware of that," I confirmed. "It's nowhere in my immediate plans."

"Then, I'd say there is some hope for you," he confirmed, clapping me on the back. "Good luck with that one, you're going to need it."

I didn't need luck. I needed to man the fuck up and stop worrying so much.

The rest of the visit was spent with Renee slowly getting over her constant need to stare at me and giggle with Bella. Though Bella was mostly cringing and huffing as her mother giddily pointed out pictures on the mantle.

It was the first time I'd seen Bella embarrassed over anything.

She was actually blushing and a little flustered on more than one occasion, which was shocking.

And sexy as hell.

She wasn't as untouchable as she seemed to be or maybe she was just making exceptions for me. Which I would take in a fucking heartbeat.

Bella let me know, in her not so subtle way, she wanted to get the hell out of there when I suggested that we could push back the flight. It may have had something to do with Renee gushing and giggling over the photo album that seemed to consist solely of Bella's childhood pictures.

One where she was in a pink and black tutu seemed to be especially irritating to Bella. I didn't hold in my amusement very well.

She was so fucking hot when she was pissed, but I knew we should probably leave before she got irritated enough to start loading the Winchester I saw in the case upstairs.

I went outside and started putting the two small bags into the car when I heard someone walk up behind me.

"Heading out?" Charlie questioned.

"Yes, Sir. Flight leaves at five."

He just nodded in understanding. "Make sure Bella puts this into her purse. She always fights me on it, but I'm hoping you'd have an easier time of it."

It was a canister of pepper spray. "No promises. I can try, but she doesn't listen to me either," I admitted, idly wondering if he thought she'd really need to use it. Or if he wanted her to use it on me.

Either scenario was fucking shitty, but I understood him wanting Bella to be able to protect herself. I was more afraid that she'd use it on the fucking parasites than an actual attacker.

Come to think of it. I'd pay money to see that.

I took the canister and pocketed it.

"She's like her mom in that regard," he started. "Don't let her fool you kid, she may be tough on the outside with a mouth to match, but really she's good hearted and soft natured."

Soft natured and good hearted are not two things I ever thought anyone would describe Bella as. I guess her father was the exception.

Or if you were crazy fucking stupid in love with her. "Already aware of that too, Sir."

**Sexy Silk**

Filming started two weeks after we got back from Washington. I had met with the other principals at table reads a while back, including Bree when she was hired on. Nice girl, but she seemed a little nervous. She'd never worked on anything big budget before and it showed, but I was hoping she could pull it together enough to give me something to work with.

I hoped I'd get a chance to talk to her offset for a few minutes and see if I could help her.

The first day of shooting I was trying to get my bearings when Irina came over with my character's grey jacket.

I was playing a bookstore owner that happens to save a girl from being a shooting victim, but later it's discovered that she's a drug addict and after she dies of an overdose, he's left wondering if he should have intervened because he falls in love with her and then loses her. The torment ends up driving him insane and he shoots himself.

I seemed to take a lot of roles where my character dies at the end.

Between Bella and my predisposition to take on tormented roles, maybe I did need to seek out therapy.

Irina had worked on a film I was in a couple of years ago, so it was nice to have someone I was familiar with.

"I see having a girlfriend that's in fashion hasn't changed your style much," she joked. "I don't think this costume is going to be much of a stretch for you."

I laughed at her jibe about my clothes and started to correct her, " Actually, Bella really isn't interested in dressing me unless it was for a role."

"Oh, really? I didn't know she was a designer."

"She not," I admitted putting on a jacket.

"But she'd like to be?" Irina guessed.

Shit. That's how I could keep her. If I could get Bella where she wanted to be, maybe I could keep my fucking tower standing.

You're a little slow on the uptake there. I think the short bus has a special seat for you.

Fuck off.

"I'm sure she would," I answered tentatively, wondering how to broach this as professionally as possible. "Do you know if..."

"Say no more," she laughed, knowing where I was going. "Send me her resume and I'll see what I can do."

How the hell was I supposed to get a copy of Bella's resume? I was working fourteen hour days and I had no idea if this was going pan out so, I couldn't get Bella's hopes up in case it didn't. I couldn't ask her.

While we were on break, I came up with a plan and made a call.

"Alice, it's Edward. I need a favor."

A/N: Hoped that clarified some things- or at the very least was somewhat entertaining.

This is only meant to be a "glimpse" into his thoughts and not a rehash of what already happened. Again- not an actor nor celeb- so if I'm wrong blame Google and my lack of insight. ;)

Bella will be back next chapter- promise. Thank you so much for all your kind words/recs and tweets. Appreciate each of them (and you) so very much!

As always let me know what you think.