We didn't go back into the restaurant.
We barely made it into the car. Thank god drivers weren't allowed to talk about the shit that went on in the back of those things. Or tape it.
Once we were finally home and the front door shut we started again in earnest. Our frantic, but passionate kisses were staking claims and making decelerations that until an hour ago we were both to chickenshit to say.
His hand had slipped into my hair as are tongues battled and when his lips found my ear, and my neck and collarbone, I could barely fucking breathe.
My hands were tugging at his shirt. It could not come off fast enough, not to mention everything else that was separating us. He picked up on my motions and took off his shirt and threw it away from us.
I kissed over his chest and molested his nipples with my tongue, as he palmed my ass and wrenched up my dress.
"Tell him he's pretty," Pita slurred. "Then grab his balls and tell him you own them."
"She's fucking love drunk. Guess it's up to me," Tulip declared. "Get his pants off! Slugger is suffocating in there!"
All I could think about is how much I fucking wanted him to just take me against the damn door and how quickly things can change with just a few words. How I wanted to be mad at him for shit that was said in the heat of the moment and the way he went about doing everything tonight.
But mostly about him taking me up against the damn door.
"Fuck yeah!" Tulip yelled. "Enough with this cerebral shit!"
Pita flipped Tulip off and started doing jello shots. "I'm off for the night, I'm leaving the nypho in charge."
Edward pulled his mouth away abruptly, his right hand cupping my face. His jade eyes were indescribable, radiating with lust and passion like I had never seen. "I love you."
I lost count of how many times he had actually said it tonight, but it my heart raced each and every time and I didn't think I would ever get over that feeling.
"I love you too," I admitted and brushed my lips over his. "Now please get me out of this dress before I fucking combust."
A wicked grin spread across his face and he gave me a slight nod. He carefully spun me around, gingerly moving my hair out of the way and kissing down the side of my neck and around the top of my shoulder.
His hand palmed my left tit as his lips slowly explored every inch of my shoulders they could reach. My dress was slowly being unzipped and as it fell away from my body he left a trail of heated kisses on the freshly bare skin. My panties had been lost in the car, somewhere between a finger fuck and a handjob.
I twitched as he sucked on the top of my hip. He licked and kissed his way around my spine, hot zings of desire stamped on my back by his lips.
Who knew a back could be so damn sensitive?
He was on his fucking knees in front of me. If there is anything hotter than Edward Cullen half naked on his knees in front of you, then I don't want to see it because the unf-ness of it would fucking kill me.
"Sorry, I can't do this," he breathed, looking up at me.
"Ha ha! Very fucking funny! Where are the cameras?" Tulip scoffed.
My heart sank and twinge of panic raced through me. That stupid fucking dream I had months ago came rushing back into my head at his words.
"What are you saying?" I asked, trying to keep my voice even but failing.
"I can't do this here. In the foyer. That's not how I want to do this," he explained rising to his feet and picking me up. My arms wrapped around his neck and my legs around his waist.
Relief washed over me and I realized something. That's what the dream was trying to tell me. I was afraid he was going to tell me he was fucking pretending, that it was all just an act. Not because he was that type of person, but because I had been afraid of losing him.
Had I been in love with him, even then?
"Dude you are slow. That took you how long to figure out?" Tulip quizzed.
"Edward you've fucked me all over this house," I reminded, reeling from what I might have figured out. My heart pounding out of my chest.
"You're right, I have. I haven't made love to you here though," he whispered into my ear.
I giggled into his neck. "You're such a sap. Wait? What do you mean here?"
Who fucking cares? Tulip whined. You better get me some before the lush wakes up!"
She motioned to a passed out Pita.
"The desk," he answered with a suggestive grin. "In Forks."
"You would have to turn scandalous fucking into something sentimental," I teased, and flicked his earlobe with my tongue, as he continued to carry me upstairs.
"I didn't hear you complaining, Beautiful," he argued, tightening his grip on my ass as we neared our bedroom and then attacked my mouth with his as he laid me on our bed.
Our bed. Our room.
It was too much to fucking process. He had made love to me before and I think I already knew that somewhere in the back of my mind. If Pita hadn't been taking a nap during that whole exchange, maybe I would have realized it sooner.
"That bitch is always falling asleep at the switch." Tulip berated. "I told you she wasn't good for anything. Bring on the Slugger lovin'!'"
He pulled back for only a couple of seconds, and I helped him undo his pants and get them off. His boxers followed right after, freeing Slugger from his cotton confines.
"About fucking time," Tulip muttered. "Slugger could have had brain damage for going that long without oxygen!"
I kissed Edward fiercely and pulled him back down to the bed with me. My head lolled back when his lips went to my throat and his thumb slid up the side of my neck and across my lips. I sucked his thumb into my mouth and twirled my tongue around it. The urgency of his kisses and his breathing increased in response and my fingers twisted in his hair, pulling him closer.
My breath caught in my throat when he took his thumb from my mouth and circled my nipple with it.
Mother of fucking hell. I was acting like he never fucking touched my tits before. It was the sweetest kind of torture. His mouth and tongue were working in tandem on one, and his thumb working over the other nipple. The fingers of the free hand brushed over Tulip. My hips jerked and I moaned loudly and brought his face up to mine.
Tulip was fucking drenched. "Quit fiddling with the knobs up there!" she griped. "It's not a radio!You're flooding the floor down here!"
"Edward, please stop fucking teasing me." My eyes locked with his, they were a hooded swirl of extreme possession and what I now recognized to be love.
"What? Did Tulip miss me?" he teased, grinding Slugger against my clit.
"Yes," Tulip moaned. "Now let's ditch this game of 'tease the twat' and move to 'let's make a porno.'"
"Stupid question," I mumbled, grabbing Slugger and sliding his head through Tulip's soaked folds.
I let out a moan and my eyes rolled back as he finally got the message and pushed Slugger into a very happy Tulip. His languid, though purposeful, movements were already causing little gasps and whimpers to come out of my mouth.
He grasped my knee and pulled it around his hip. My nails dug deeper into his bicep the deeper he drove into me. Our bodies writhed and worked together in perfect unison like they always did, our hips rocking while we explored each other with eager hands.
I realized it was never this intense and consuming before. And it never would be with anyone else.
It was always going to be him.
Fuck, that sounded so damn cheesy but so fucking perfect at the same time.
The motion and angle of his hips changed and somehow one of my feet had ended up near my head.
I was letting all the control I had slip away and felt suddenly lighter than I ever had before, even though my body was on the cusp of collapse.
"Never been like this with anyone else," I babbled incoherently. "I fucking love you Edward."
"Fuck Bella, love you so fucking much," he panted as lost all capacity for thought and drowned Tulip with a one of a kind protein shake.
We sounded like a really cliched movie script, but it was our fucking movie.
I was completely in love with him and he loved me back, or first, or however that crazy lovey-dovey crap was supposed to go.
I didn't know what it meant for us, but for now, I was going to bask in the afterglow and fucking worry about the rest tomorrow.
**Sexy Silk**
We spent the night waking each other up and doing retakes of our fuckhawt scene in various positions, which explained why I was so tired when the alarm went off.
"Why is the alarm set?" Edward grumbled sleepily and kissed my shoulder.
"Some of us have to work today," I answered, shutting off the annoying thing. Edward didn't have to be on set again for another few days.
"Why are you even going in?" he asked."You should be calling Irina today and giving your notice at Denali." I rolled over to face him. He wrapped his arms back around me, and I nuzzled closer. His hair was completely wild and his eyes tired, but he was still amazingly hot.
Despite multiple "reshoots" during the night, Slugger was already awake and looking around for Tulip.
"You know I can't take that job," I told him, starting to kiss around his chest and down his happy trail.
"Why? The only thing I did was bring you to Irina's attention. I'm no different than a head hunter."
"Then you and I have something in common after all," Tulip winked.
"She wants you based on your experience not who you're..." he was cut short as my lips found Slugger.
"Blowing?" I smirked and brought my mouth back around him again.
"Yeah," he groaned, quickly putting an end to that conversation as I got to the only kind of job that mattered at the moment.
**Sexy Silk**
I grabbed a shower as Edward made good on his promise to make breakfast for us.
He had already warned Esme about the potential shit storm we were going to be in for, but I don't think any of us predicted how fucking bad it was going to be.
I came downstairs and started reading over his shoulder, while he leaned over the breakfast bar looking at the laptop screen. Somehow those assholes had gotten the info about Rose throwing part her drink on me, and added that to our fight pictures to come up with their latest bullshit.
"They think I'm having a fucking affair with Emmett?" I groaned, reading the webpage.
Couple had been seeing each other for weeks.
Rosalie flew into a rage at McCarty's infidelity and attacked Swan.
"Jesus Christ, there's not even any pictures of Emmett and I together here," I huffed.
I thought the proof was in the motherfucking pictures.
"Don't worry about that," Edward tried to dismiss. "The real publications aren't even picking this up. Just the trash ones."
"You make it sound like there are reputable ones?" I countered. "There all fucking trashtoids as far as I'm concerned."
"It's all the same bullshit, but different sites. Hollywood Reporter says I'm sleeping with Bree," he rolled his eyes.
"You're such a whore," I snickered and kissed him.
He grinned and kissed me back, but still looked nervous as he shut the laptop.
"I smell fear. Loads of it. The boy is hiding something," Pitacroaked still nursing her hangover.
"What aren't you telling me?" I questioned as he started towards the kitchen.
"Nothing," he shrugged walking away, not looking at me.
"If it has something to do with last night, I'm going to find out so you might as well fucking tell me now so you can get your ass kicking over with," I warned.
"It's really nothing. HL got a little more fucking creative than usual," he dodged.
"Well short of saying you were fucking Emmett, I doubt they came up with something worse." I begrudgingly sat in front the computer and flipped it open. Not that I really cared what the fuck they were saying, but I couldn't let the Xanax Queen, or worse yet my mother, have information that I didn't.
"Knowing is half the battle," Pita confirmed. "The other half is kicking ass and taking names." She grabbed her head and started pouring some coffee.
"Do you really need to know? It's not worth getting upset over." He had walked back over and tried to shut the laptop again, but I stopped him.
"Edward did you grow a fucking pussy over night? It can't be that bad," I argued lightly, typing in the fucked up site.
"It must be really fucking bad if he won't even let you look," Pita cautioned, taking a sip out of her mug.
"Remember it's just them," he cautioned, eyeing me warily.
I refocused my eyes back on the computer and let out a scream that rivaled my mother's when she found out I was dating Edward.
What the fucking hell was that?
They had some fucking altered picture of me that made me look like I had...
"Oh motherfucking hell no!" Pita shouted "Let the bodies hit the floor bitches! Fuck the names! I want their fucking heads on a stake!" Her hangover all but forgotten.
"They're saying that I'm having a fucking love child too?" I screeched.
Along with the doctored pictures of a fucking non-existent bump and our fight, was some completely bullshit story that they had pieced together.
Party goers report that Cullen and Swan had barely spoken the entire time and that Swan had seemed under the weather and refused multiple drinks.
"I didn't drink because of my fucking stomach," I growled.
After hearing the news, a distraught Rosalie Cullen-McCarty was seen slapping Swan and throwing a drink in her face.
"Are you fucking kidding me? How can they even? Fuck!" I yelled. The picture wasn't even recent. It was from over a month ago, when we were flying out of LAX to see my parents.
I didn't have any words. This story was just fucked at so many levels. Where the fuck was Pita with the dictionary?
"Fuck the dictionary. We don't have time for that! Just tell those assholes to say 'hello to my little friend,'" Pita snarled in her best Tony Montana, steadying her M-16.
"My fucking stomach is flat as a goddamned board. You wear a sweater one fucking time and suddenly you're fucking..." I trailed off.
Motherfucking hell. I couldn't even think the damn word.
"...sporting spawn," I concluded, pushing away from the fucking computer, rolling my eyes and starting to pace.
Stupid fucking Hollywood Life and their complete bullshit had me wondering if I should be doing yoga or Pilates or some shit. And wondering how fast I could secure a fucking concealed weapons permit.
"Gossip Cop has labeled all of it as a complete rumor," Edward tried to console going to their site and pointing at the little fucking green and red meter.
Reps for both parties say the reports are entirely false.
I looked at him like he had lost his fucking mind. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately.
"As long as Gossip Cop fucking says so!" I retorted exasperated. I didn't mean to be so short with him, but I was pissed. It seemed like every time we had something good going on, parasites fucked us over.
"Sorry," I offered, putting my arms around his waist. "Can't I sue these assholes for defamation or something?" I whined like a bitch, resting my forehead into his shoulder.
"Not worth it. You'd be in court every week. It's better just to let it go," he advised, putting his arm around me and stroking my hair with his left hand.
"We're supposed to be having this epic fucking morning and they are managing to ruin it," I complained.
"They can only ruin it if you let them."
I nodded looking up at him, and taking a steadying breath. I was going to have to get used to this nonsense. This wasn't going to be the last fucking time this went on.
"Nobody with half a brain is going to believe any of it," he said with an uneasy laugh, as he released me and kissed me on the forehead.
My phone started to ring.
"Shit!" I hissed listening to the familiar ring. "It's my mother."
And I knew exactly why the fuck she was calling this time. I had made it perfectly fucking clear while I was there visiting, she wasn't supposed to lose her shit about anything she saw in the tabloids and if she saw something she should just ask me.
"Hi Mom," I answered, wondering immediately why I didn't let her go to voicemail.
"Bella! Where on earth are these pictures coming from? Did you get into a fight with Edward? Did he cheat on you with that girl? Please tell me you aren't sleeping with Rosalie's husband because we raised you better than that and your father..."
"It is too fucking early for this," I mumbled, "Mom? What did I tell you about reading that crap?"
"I didn't," she argued. "but Mrs. Cope...you remember her right? Well, she called me this morning and started asking me about it and I had no idea what to tell her and I was just..."
I glared at Edward as he chuckled beside me, thoroughly enjoying what he knew was torture for my ear and my fucking brain
"Would you shut her up already?" Pita groaned. "I have a damn hangover over here."
"Tell Mrs. Cope to get a fucking life and stop calling you. Edward and I did have a fight, but it was no big deal and none of that other shit is going on."
"Why were you fighting with him! What did you do? You should tell him you love him and beg for forgiveness because men like him don't..."
"Holy fucking hell," I sighed. "He knows that I love him. Okay?"
She went quiet for a few seconds which was not enough of a reprieve for my ear or Pita.
"Did he not say it back because you know it can take time for a man to get comfortable with his feelings and..."
"Mom!" I yelled interrupting her ramble. "He said it first. Alright? I need to go now. Please tell the fucking nosey old bitches of Forks to ... check fucking Gossip Cop and leave you alone!"
I had no idea if she heard me because the screaming coming from the other side threatened to shatter the display of my phone.
"Next time your ass is answering that craziness," I warned.
He shook his head and laughed. "You handle it so well though." He walked into the kitchen to dish up whatever he had decided to cook.
"I guess I missed my calling," I joked and sat down.
He placed the plate of sunny-side up eggs in front of me, which I normally loved, but the fucking smell was making me gag and I couldn't push back the nausea that over took me.
"Oh god," I groaned before hightailing it to the bathroom to lose the contents of my empty stomach.
What the fuck is this? A goddamned sporadic stomach flu?
The fucking egg smell may have been rotting fish with how horribly it turned my stomach.
"I know all about fish," Pita affirmed glancing at Tulip, 'And believe me that did not smell like fish."
"I always smell and taste like fucking peaches! Don't you read fan fiction at all? Tulip griped.
"Are you alright?" Edward quizzed, concerned etched all over his face.
"Spiffy," I answered as he helped me up. "I wanted to see if they grouted the fucking tile floor properly in here."
"I think you should get checked out. This isn't normal."
"I have to go to work today. It's just a stomach bug," I tried to assure. "The eggs are probably bad."
"Bella. I'd just feel a lot fucking better if you saw a doctor okay?" He seemed way more concerned for what the situation warranted.
"Fine, it's just an inner ear thing. At worst it's the fucking swine flu or something," I countered, and splashed my face with some water.
"I'm sure it's nothing serious," he replied, looking as sick as I felt.
**Sexy Silk**
I called my GP and made and appointment, but they said they couldn't get me in until next week. I was perfectly alright with it, but Edward started to throw a huge shit fit and called Carlisle to get a referral for someone who could see me that day, like within an hour.
I was in love with a fucking drama queen.
Edward had this strange idea that he needed to go with me, but I explained to him I was going to work right after. I wasn't going to miss a whole day even if it was going to be one of my last there, I hadn't decided anything yet. I ultimately convinced him to stay home and relax while I tried to figure out why the hell my stomach had decided to revolt against me and think about the job opportunity with Irina.
I hated fucking doctor's offices. The sterile smell, the silk plants that needed to be dusted, the little snot nosed kids sniffling and fighting over shit, while their mothers ignored them trying to see how the other half lived in the pages of outdated magazines.
This doctor's office was completely fucking different than any one I had ever been too. It was entirely modern and pretentious. The waiting room with its lounges and glass tables looked like something out of Nip/Tuck.
As soon as I was done filling out my paperwork, the nurse took every bodily fucking fluid she could from me and Dr. Peters asked me a bunch of general health questions. I was torn between laughing my fucking ass of and stabbing the bitch when she asked me if there was any chance I could be knocked up.
When they were done with everything, they said they would call me when they had some results. I made it to work with about half the day left. And was immediately bombarded with bullshit before I sat down.
"I knew you'd blow your chance with Edward," Lauren sneered. "Never thought you'd be stupid enough to get yourself knocked up by Rosalie's husband!"
"Ah, there's the fucking Hobag I remember," Pita snarled.
"Good to see the two faced ass-kisser has turned back to her bitchface," I responded calmly and took of my tea. "The under-bubbling I'm so fucking jealous I should be a nice shade of chartreuse didn't become you."
"How does it feel to have him reject you in public and tell you he never wanted to see you again? Because you were and I quote 'an unfaithful bitch,'" she questioned smugly.
"It was 'an unfaithful, lying, bitch' thank you very fucking much," I corrected.
"Sorry," she responded flatly.
"And considering he never fucking said that and the rumor mill is in full spin again, it doesn't make me feel anything, other than pissed off at people who make up bullshit for a living."
The hobag looked panicked. "So, you aren't broken up?"
"Of course they are!" Jessica interjected, traipsing into the hall. She was fucking grinning from ear to ear. "I told you Lauren, I knew...I knew that it would only be a matter of time before he realized what he was missing with me. "
Lauren discretely rolled her eyes, unsure of who to actually believe at that point, but Jessica's delusions were apparently becoming too much for even her.
"Stanley the only thing Edward is missing with you is the chance to find out what it would feel like to fuck a plastic bag!"
She narrowed her eyes and flipped her hair behind her shoulder. "Don't take it too hard. You've had your time in the sun. I'll be sure to wash the awful taste of whore out of Edward's mouth for you," she smiled and licked over her lip.
"Put that herpes riddled thing back into your fucking mouth before you infect the air with Slore cooties," Tulip yelled.
"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except herpes. That shit'll come back with you," Pita informed rubbing her eyes and throwing out an empty vodka bottle.
She hadn't noticed that Tanya and Alice had started walking down the hallway and towards their offices and us.
"I would hate to have to tell Tanya the bullshit that was coming out of your mouth right now Princess. You're far too fucking old to be stripping and make any decent money."
"Like anyone would pay to see your fat pregnant ass naked!"
"I'm not fucking... knocked up... you Zoloft riddled bitch!" I barked back unsteadily, feeling kind of dizzy.
I was waiting for Tanya to come closer and Jessica to hang herself with her own fucking stupidity.
"Whatever! I'm just glad you're not claiming the thing is Edward's! I wouldn't want to deal with all the baby momma drama while he's taking me to Paris for the summer."
Why did I decided to come in today? Oh right, because I'm a fucking idiot.
"Jessica! You've lost your fucking mind! I'm calling the people in the white coats. They have a nice padded room for you and a much more appropriate jacket than the outdated Kenneth Cole you're wearing. That is, if Tanya doesn't fire your ass first."
"Maybe they'll lock her in a fucking drawer at the morgue!" Pita yipped excitedly.
Lauren was curiously watching us. Still undecided as to whose ass she should ram her nose into, when Tanya and Alice came near.
"You can't touch me anymore," Jessica scoffed. "I can torture you all I want now that Edward has dropped your ass like the bag of absolute trash you are. And when I'm his girlfriend, I'll have you out of here so fast it'll make your head spin."
"Really Jessica? You think you have that kind of authority?" Tanya asked, her tone eerily calm.
"Yes, I..." The words died in her throat as she whipped around and realized who she was fucking talking to.
"Jessica, I think it's crucially important that we talk, in my office." Tanya looked not only as if she was going to fire her, but willing her to burst into fucking flames.
"Fuck yeah, bout time that bitched checked the fuck out of here," Pita cheered.
"It ain't no lie, bitch. Bye bye bye." Tulip sang.
"N*sync? Really?" Pita quizzed.
"I was feeling nostalgic," Tulip answered.
I got up quickly I nearly fell back down. This fucking light headed shit was getting more annoying than my stomach.
"Bella? You okay?" Alice asked, looking me over.
"I'm fine. I'm just hungry I haven't eaten today," I admitted, leaving out the part about the bad eggs.
"With everything that's going on I'm not surprised."
"Isn't there a cap on stupidity in this fucking place?" I asked, trying to regain my equilibrium as I followed Alice into her office.
"I think Plastic McGee is about to get a final sendoff," she laughed. "So, the ceiling on stupid should be a lot lower."
"What the hell were you and Edward fighting over that caused all this?" she questioned, taking a seat.
"A job offer," I answered sitting down.
"You were fighting about the job with Irina?" she quizzed.
"You knew?"
"Of course I knew. I was the one who got your resume and faxed it over to her."
"Thanks Alice, but you couldn't have fucking warned me?" I asked, slightly annoyed.
"Edward said he didn't want you to get you involved unless he knew it was going somewhere. So...did you get it?"
"Like there was anything to get. He practically fucking handed it to me," I groaned.
"He did some leg work Bella. It's not like he just demanded it," she defended. "You're not still mad at him I hope?"
"Kind of hard to be mad at him when he tells you he loves you and only did it because he wanted you to be happy," I mumbled.
She squealed. "Oh good! He finally told you!"
"What the fuck? Was I the only one who didn't know?" I questioned.
"Bella, blind people in Europe knew," Alice retorted, with a laugh. "And the same people know you feel the same way about him."
I rolled my eyes. "He knows now too," I confessed.
Alice squealed and did her little fucking jumpy clap thing. "That means I won the bet with Jasper! I told him by the middle of June," she giggled.
"You had a fucking bet going?" I asked, affronted.
"He should've known better than to bet against me. Crazy man," she giggled.
She had a dreamy smile gracing her lips.
Jesus, please don't let that be the look I have when I think about Edward.
"Nope, you look even goofier," Pita goaded.
"So maybe we can go out and celebrate your new job and allow me to lament the fact I'm losing you," she sighed, tapping my hand.
"Alice, I'm not even sure I'm taking it," I explained.
She looked confused. "Why Bella? It's almost impossible to get in the door unless you have someone on the inside holding it open. This is your chance kiddo, why not take it?"
"Because it feels cheap and I fucking hate that. I want to work for what I have. I don't want to know the only reason I got the opportunity, was because of Edward," I tried to clarify.
She smiled thoughtfully. "Edward may have gotten you the opportunity and opened the door, but you're the one who's going to have to prove that you belong there by showing what you've got."
"So you think I should take it?" I asked, thinking she was making some valid points.
"You want permission from me to take your dream job? You're asking the wrong person," she explained. "You're the only one who can answer that question."
"Jesus Alice, how'd you get so fucking smart?" I laughed.
"Lots of epic sex in multiple places," she deadpanned.
"Why the fuck aren't we smarter?" Pita glowered at Tulip."You and Slugger have had sex in more places than a fucking traveling porn circus."
"I'm a motherfucking genius," Tulip defended. "Well, for a vagina anyway. Do you know any other talking vaginas? I didn't think so."
"Fuck, I could write a guidebook for aspiring Mensa candidates then," I quipped, laughing.
"Something to fall back on," Alice laughed
Alice's phone rang jarring us out of our laughter.
I went to answer it, but Alice shook her head and picked up the receiver.
"Alice Hale," she greeted with a smile aimed at me. "Edward? Sure...she's right here."
"He missed us already," Pita swooned.
"Hi," I answered, wondering why he was calling for me already. "Miss me?"
"Always. Why didn't you answer your cell?"
"Because I was having a fucking meeting with Alice," I winked at her and she giggled.
"Did you get to the doctor this morning?" he asked, his tone sounded strange.
"Yeah, tell Carlisle thanks for the referral. That place looked like an upscale bar rather than a house of torture."
"Did they tell you anything?" He sounded nervous.
"Not yet. Dr. Peters told me they'd call me when the tests came back. Please stop being paranoid. Okay?"
He let out a slow breath over the line. "Did you eat something?"
"No, I didn't want to risk getting sick again."
"You need to eat something. Let me talk to Alice," he asked, his voice strained.
"Why do you need to talk to her?" I quizzed looking at Alice, "I have a mouth and I can feed myself."
"Fine, I'll just call her on her cell," He sounded like a nervous fucking wreck.
"Edward please calm down. You're freaking me out. Plus, I don't think eating is going to make a difference," I started to argue when Alice grabbed the phone from my hand.
"Grabby bitch," Pita complained.
"Hi Edw...I'm taking her out to lu... Oh okay... I'll make sure she keeps her cell on her. Uh huh and I'll keep her away from eggs. Bye Edward," Alice snickered. "What is up with him?"
I shrugged. "He's just being fucking paranoid, because I've got some fucking stomach bug."
"You don't look sick." she said confused.
"It comes and goes. It's really nothing," I shrugged. "You know Edward."
She narrowed her eyes and tilted her head as she looked me over. "No way," she whispered.
"What?" I asked, alarmed.
"I just realized I should have bet Jasper double or nothing," she replied with a forced grin.
**Sexy Silk**
Jessica was officially let go by the time we had gotten back from lunch. The security company was called to help her clean out her desk and escort her off the property. According to Alice, she didn't dare say anything to me because Tanya had informed her if she spoke a word she would make good on her threat to get her banned from the industry completely.
Best fucking day ever.
The hobag had made half assed attempts to get back in my good graces, but I just ignored her. If I was taking the job with Irina, I wouldn't have to worry about her high-school bullshit for much longer.
Alice and I had been getting ready to go home when my cell rang. I didn't recognize the number, but thought it was probably the doctor.
"Hello?"
"Hello. Is this Isabella Swan?"
"Yes."
"Hi my name is Terry, I'm with Dr. Maggie Avery's office, an associate of Dr. Peters. She'd like you to come into her office to discuss your test results from this morning."
Fucking finally. Edward had called three damn times to make sure I had eaten and to check to see if I was okay.
He was acting like I was dying or something. It would be sweet if it wasn't getting on my nerves a little bit.
Okay, a whole fucking lot.
Terry gave me the suite number and I texted Edward to let him know that I was going to get an answer and he could stop acting like a chick. I was only minutely pissed that fucking Dr. Peters had sloughed me off onto someone else, but I wanted to find out what the hell was going on. At least the new doctor's office was in the same building a few doors down.
Dr. M. Avery OB/GYN
Why the fuck did she refer me to a fucking twat doc? They don't know anything about the fucking stomach flu.
"My spidey sense is fucking tingling here," Pita said worriedly. "Something isn't right."
Once I was in her office a feeling of uneasiness swept over me.
"Hi Bella," Dr. Avery greeted brightly. "Glad you could come in to talk to me."
"Yeah, sure," I started taking a seat. "Is it normal to be referred to a gyno when you have the stomach flu?"
"Not typically no," she laughed, looking at me strangely.
"Oh great what the fuck have we contracted?" Pita griped going for her medical dictionary.
"I knew you could get slore cooties through the air! I knew it! That fucking skank gave us some whore virus!" Tulip whined.
"However, you don't have the stomach flu. You do however, have elevated hCG levels."
"I haven't done that shit since I was a teen!" I lashed out. "Well college, but that was still a long time ago!"
A laugh bubbled up from her. "Not THC Bella. hCG, pregnancy hormone. You're pregnant. About five weeks or so judging from the levels."
"Crazy bitch says what?" Pita snorted.
I laughed uneasily, thinking this was a complete fucking joke. "I'm on the pill. I think you have me confused with someone else."
That had to be it. Fucking labs made mistakes all the time right?
"I don't believe so," she said looking over the chart again "Isabella Swan 9-13-1985?"
"Yes, but...No, there has to be some fucking mistake!" I growled. "It's not possible."
"You told Dr. Peters your last period was at the end of April?" she asked looking at her papers again.
"Yeah, but I didn't think anything of it," I croaked. "I thought it was stress."
She smiled sympathetically. "Judging from the dates, it means that conception..." she trailed off looking at her computer "might have occurred right about the thirteen or fourteenth of May. Did you have sex around that time?"
I closed my eyes and dug my nails into my fucking palms and bit my lip so fucking hard I thought my teeth would go through it. I tried to compose myself before I spoke, so my words didn't come out in a Tourette type fuck string.
"Yes," I whispered.
Friday the motherfucking thirteenth.
The trip to fucking Forks.
In my fucking bedroom, on my desk, while my parents weren't fucking home.
The first time he...we...fuck.
"What the fuck have you done you demented flower?" Pita cried.
"Sure blame the vagina! Aren't you middle management types supposed to handle this shit?" Tulip defended.
"This is your fucking department!" Pita screeched.
"I'm a receiver! Not a fucking gatekeeper!"Tulip barked back.
"Well, the 'key master' and you 'crossing the streams' might have just stopped life as we know it!" Pita argued hysterically.
How the fuck had this happened?
I took those fucking pills like clockwork.
I must have said it out loud because Dr. Avery answered me.
"The failure rate for the pill can vary depending on if you took it at the same time everyday," she explained, like I didn't fucking know.
"You could have set your damn watch by it," I defended, starting to lose my fucking mind.
"You..." Pita stuttered. "You have so fucked this up! You pink petaled sausage locker! I should have had you stitched up when I had the chance!"
"Fuck you! Like this has anything to fucking do with you!" Tulip yelled."Do you know what a kid's head will do to me? It'll be like throwing a fucking hotdog down a hallway down here after that!"
"I take it that this was unplanned?" she said after a few seconds.
"You can fucking say that again," I choked out. Not realizing that I was fucking crying.
I didn't fucking cry.
She handed me a kleenex and I wiped all the tears off my face. "Thanks," I muttered and crumpled the tissue in my hand.
Son of a bitch and a motherfucking half!
Knocked up. The kid will probably make Rosemary's baby look like a fucking saint.
"I'll just give you a couple of minutes to collect yourself." She rose and crossed to the door. "There are worse things in the world to have happen to you Bella," she tried to console as she left the room.
Yes. Fucking California could be swallowed by a fucking tidal wave and it would still be better than this.
Fuck Fuck Fuckity fuck!
All the shit I was trying to avoid by leaving Forks, he managed to deliver to my fucking door, because I delivered a suit to his.
This is not fucking happening.
Fuck buddies, dating, the motherfucking parasites, him going behind my back to get me a job, I could handle all that shit.
This, I could not fucking handle.
My phone had been ringing inside my purse for I don't know how fucking long.
Boy I will be your sexy silk.
I ripped the phone out, seconds away from demolishing it. His stupid fucking smirk stared back at me from the display.
"You stupid smug fucking asshole! Do you have any idea what the fuck you've done?" I screamed at my phone, wondering if I could reach through it and fucking strangle him.
This was all his goddamned fault! If I would have just stuck to my fucking list I wouldn't be in this damn position.
I shoved the phone back in my purse to keep from throwing it across the goddamned room and got out a piece of paper and a pen.
I needed a new fucking list, but all I could think of was all the fucking mistakes that led me to this point and they all stemmed from one fucking thing.
The fucking Globes, the Xanax Queen being sick and Edward Fucking Cullen.
I shouldn't have had sex with Edward Cullen.
I shouldn't have let Edward Cullen fuck me.
I shouldn't have let that pompous arrogant asshole fuck me.
Each line was bigger and my penmanship was fucked, but it didn't matter. It was a list of fucking mistakes. Well, the same fucking mistake written three different ways. I crumpled it into a fucking ball and heard my phone ringing again.
"Leave me the fuck alone! You've caused enough fucking damage!" I yelled at it again, hoping the asshole who had outsmarted my fucking birth control with his super spunk could actually hear me.
"Shit! If I would have known Slugger's spunk was that fucking powerful, I would have auctioned it off or held it for fucking ransom or something," Tulip noted.
My legs were pretty fucking shaky, but I managed to get the fuck out of the office and tore ass to the front door. The receptionist yelling something as I ripped open the door, but I couldn't go back in there.
I made it out the front of the building, entirely unsure of where the fuck I was going or what I was feeling other than a massive amount of anger and confusion when I caught sight of someone standing by Coop.
"You!" I yelled.
A/N: **Peeks out from under a rock.** Sorry this took so long—I hope the EPOV outtake held most of you over. :)
So I know most of you figured out that Bella was pregnant. And I know some of you probably are hating me right now, but in my defense- this is ALWAYS where the story was going, it's not like I just said: What crazy thing can I come up with next? -Well, I did that a few times, but this was always in the works from chapter one, just a few details changed in the process.;)
If that threw some of you or makes you flounce, I get it, but I had to keep true to where this was going.
Thank you for all the reviews you guys! Cannot tell you what it means to me to have this story pass 1600! That's just so fing crazy! You all are freaking awesome and I heart you hard and read every single one:)
My beta is my bestie and she cannot be duplicated. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for going through the mess of two versions of this chapter:) Rainbows and Chicken nuggets Rule!;)
Quotes or adapts: The Hangover, Ghostbusters, Scarface and a few others I'm sure were mentioned here...
Only partially sorry for the cliffy...;) Any guesses as to who Bella is yelling at?