With everything going on with Tic Tac, I had completely forgotten about Edward's actual birthday present. It was a couple of days before I got it trucked over from Rose and Emmett's, and had it set up downstairs in the great room.
I fell asleep in the large chair in the corner of the living room waiting for Edward that night, even though I had the stereo going and a book on my lap.
Being pregnant was turning me into a fucking baby, since I seemed to be able to stay awake no later than one.
"Bella. Why are you asleep down here? You should be in bed, Beautiful." Edward asked after gently nudging me awake.
"Your present got delivered today," I informed sleepily. I yawned, and stretched my arms before Edward help me stand up.
"Thought she was still in production?" he laughed.
"He is, " I answered with a tired smirk. "However, the awesomeness that is me managed to find something to hold you over."
Despite his protests that I didn't have to get him anything, I led Edward down the hall and into the great room, and turned on a small table lamp.
"Is that what I think it is?" he questioned looking back at me, entirely surprised.
"It's a replica. Obtaining the original would raise too many questions with my parents."
"We're going to have to tell them eventually," he reminded, grabbing my hand and walking us closer.
I nodded in agreement. "Since I'm assuming you want to stay in one piece, I'm going to leave out the specifics of where and when."
"Even that might not save me," he responded with a short laugh. He still obviously thought that Charlie was going to be furious or homicidal.
"If we can get over it and be Team Tic Tac then anyone else can join in too!" Pita asserted.
"I can't guarantee that Charlie won't send a few Feds after you, or string you up for a couple of days in the basement by your balls, but I'm sure my mother will be throwing you a fucking party now that she's having a grandchild."
"You think your mom is going to be happy?" he quizzed.
"Happy?" I snickered. "Deliriously fucking giddy is more like it," I countered. "We'll have to make sure your dad is nearby to administer oxygen or sedatives."
"That can be arranged," he laughed. "Maybe she can talk Dad into being called Grandpa."
"I'm sure if she's still conscious her mouth will be moving and within minutes she'll be buying up every fucking "World Greatest Grandma" product she can find," I mused. "I'm sure that she'll drag your dad along if he's there."
"That's kind of a relief, I guess." He was still preoccupied with his thoughts. I didn't understand why he was so concerned with what my parents thought about him. He knocked me up, he didn't abandon me while I was fucking comatose in the woods leaving me with bullshit promises about how it would be like he never existed.
"That would be twenty times more fucked up," Pita noted.
"Edward we're having a baby, you didn't commit a fucking capital offense," I argued.
"Whoa, where the fuck did that come from!" Pita exclaimed. "The hormones are overriding my filter capabilities!"
His jaw dropped slightly. "I think being pregnant is softening you."
"You'd like that wouldn't you?" I grinned, knowing no matter how much my hormones were fucking with Pita, I was still going to be me.
"Possibly."
"Too bad. Not happening," I laughed. We took the last few steps to the desk with our arms linked.
I had a blank card sitting on top of it. A one line riddle written out on the front.
Why is a swan like a writing desk?
"Lewis Carroll?" he guessed correctly, with a confused expression.
"With a one of a kind twist," Pita acknowledged proudly.
"I thought it was a raven?" he questioned, looking from the card and back to me.
"Good to know there's a brain under the fuckhawt exterior," I ribbed.
He rolled his eyes and the left side of his mouth perked up in a slight smile. "So how are they alike?"
I grinned and opened the small drawer in the front. "Because we've both got tic tacs in the middle."
"I'm never going to look at these things the same," he laughed and shook the little container. "Passion Fruit?"
I shrugged. "It seemed fitting."
"What's this?" he questioned, noticing the small silver plaque on the top. It was engraved with same quote that he had written on the note he gave me with the bracelet and the date of Tic Tac's not so immaculate conception.
His expression changed from amused to adoration, his green eyes bright and alive with happiness.
"So you like it?" I asked, suddenly nervous, hoping I wasn't reading his expression wrong.
"It's perfect." He picked me up and carefully sat me on the edge of the desk. "Thank you."
His lips were on mine moving and mashing them in a frenzy of urgent pecks.
Adele was rocking her kick ass vocals while Edward and I pushed the simmering tension to the brink.
Slow building kisses and anxious roaming hands left me out of breath and my heart pounding like a jackhammer, before his lips were on my neck and working their way to my shoulder.
"You're welcome. Feel free to thank me like that any time," I panted.
"Oh fuck no! Not until Slugger can take the field again," Tulip argued.
I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
I promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
He pulled away and smiled brightly in response, his thumb swiping over my swollen bottom lip. Before a wholly unrecognized intensity swam across his face.
"Bella, if I was going to ask you something you'd want me to just come out with it right?
His eyes were so focused, the love brimming over along with the lust, but there was also fear. Why the fuck was he so afraid of asking me something?
So come on and give me the chance
To prove that I'm the one who can
Walk that mile until the end starts
"That would be preferable," I responded as lightly as I could manage, but I was suddenly feeling unjustifiably nervous.
Shit. What if he's changed his mind about Tic Tac?
"There's no way, he loves the demon spawn you're growing," Pita reminded, wringing her hands and pacing.
Edward had taken my hand in his when Return of the Mac started playing from his pocket.
"God dammit Emmett," Edward growled, loosening his grip on my hand. He looked at me apologetically. "It's Dad, Em changed my fucking ringtone."
He answered the call, but didn't let go of my hand. "Hey Dad, yes I know. We've been over this. Look can we talk about this later? Great. Goodnight."
"Are you ready for bed?" he questioned in an exaggerated breath, after he hung up.
That can't be what the fuck he was going to ask me. The intensity was all but gone and I didn't see it returning anytime soon. I let out a slow breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding and nodded. Whatever he had wanted to ask had been forgotten, and because I didn't want my fears confirmed, there was no way in fuck I was going to bring it back up.
**Sexy Silk**
I had been confined in the damn house for almost a week. Not that I could complain. Much.
"Speak for yourself," Tulip huffed. "I haven't so much as seen Slugger since we found out about Tic Tac."
Pita started singing. "Relax don't do it. When you want to go to it. Relax don't do it. When you want to come."
Tulip flipped her off and started blasting The Bad Touch by the Bloodhound Gang.
I spent most of my time curled up on the couch missing Edward and watching movies that I hadn't seen in forever, but I felt useless and bored out of my fucking skull.
I even started reading the baby books.
Ben Stone was joking, but he was fucking onto something. It is just a giant book of "Don'ts." Except most of them are painfully fucking obvious.
Not only was I be banned from jumping on a trampoline while smoking crack, but I wasn't going to be chain smoking menthols while chugging a Red-Bull, either.
Damn. There went my fucking afternoon.
The other things were more surprising. No soft cheeses, deli meats or sushi. There was nothing however about Hostess, or more specifically Twinkies. It did make mention of too much sugar being a bad thing, but I skimmed that part so I couldn't be sure.
It had been six fucking days and my appointment tomorrow couldn't come fast enough.
"Neither can I," Tulip agreed. "I'm all for keeping Tic Tac safe, but I need a Slugger invasion in my pole deprived nation."
I had just about fallen asleep for the twelfth fucking time, when a knock startled me fully awake.
I yawned loudly and grabbed a handful of Fritos out of the bowl on the table before going to the door. I fucking forgot that Rose was coming over today to break up some of this couch riding monotony.
"Woman please tell me you aren't still eating that crap!" Rose complained, pointing to the Fritos I was munching on. "And Hi."
I rolled my eyes. "They're chips, not fucking Ho Hos," I defended. "Besides, I had some fruit earlier." I motioned to the table with my snacks on it as we walked by.
"A Fruit Roll-Up doesn't count as fruit." She shook her head and held out a bag. "There's actual food in here. For the sake of my niece and your waistline, you might want to consider it."
I glowered at her and bit into another chip. "The box says 'made with real fruit'," I argued, begrudgingly taking the bag. "And Tic Tac is a boy."
She had two large books under her arms and placed them on the kitchen table as I sat the bag of food down. "In any case, you're going to thank me when you're not lugging around any unnecessary weight."
"I could give a fuck about my weight right now Rose. Besides, the big book of Don't Even Fucking Think About It says I'm supposed to gain some."
"You've actually been reading pregnancy books?" she asked with a satisfied grin.
"There's only so much sleeping and eating I can do, plus I wanted to see what the hell was going to happen next."
I did not want to be blindsided by another fucking thing. I wanted to handle being pregnant with the same tenacity I handled anything else. Informed and planned out as much as I possibly could.
Which meant if my fucking history was any indication, nothing would go like I planned.
"Find anything useful? An eating guide perhaps? Exercise routines?"
"Rose do you see this?" I asked, pointing to my back. "Get the fuck off of it. Even if I wanted to do anything other than park my ass on the couch I'm not supposed to."
She sighed. "I meant for later Bella. Have you even called Josie yet?"
"Why are you so fucking worried about whether or not I start resembling the Goodyear Blimp?"
She huffed and pursed her lips. She flipped open one of the books she was carrying and pointed to the open page. "That's why."
She was pointing to a picture of herself as a child. She looked about middle school aged. She was a little on the chubby side, but she was pretty cute. I didn't see her point.
"You had a chipmunk phase. So fucking what?" I shrugged.
"Chip 'n' Dale were freaking awesome!" Pita squealed.
"You mean Chippendales right? We're not fucking five anymore," Tulip retorted. "When did I become the mature one?"
"Chipmunk?" Rose folded her arms and looked at me with narrowed eyes expecting an answer.
"You looked like you were smuggling nuts in your cheeks," I told her simply.
Tulip laughed hysterically.
"Now who's fucking immature?" Pita complained, shooting a glare at Tulip.
"It's not a big deal Rose, lots of kids go through that phase," I continued.
"I just know what it's like to have a problem with your weight, and how fucking hard I had to fight in order to get myself healthy and looking like this." She stood straight up and motioned to her perfect fucking shape. "You're about to go through something that is going to screw with your body in ways you've never imagined and my niece is going to need something more substantial than corn chips and Ding Dongs in order to grow properly."
Tulip snickered again and mumbled "Ding Dong."
I could see the concern in Rose's eyes, she was overly fucking worried about pressed fruit and cream filled chocolate.
"Rose, if it will shut you the fuck up I eat whatever the hell is in here," I conceded with a pointed stare. "But if I throw it up on the pumps you're wearing. I reserve the right to laugh my fucking ass off at you. And just so you know, the odds are not in your favor, because there are about five fucking things I can eat right now without getting sick."
"You should try to eat all the actual food you can then. Maybe you can eat this and you don't even know it." She was all too happy to start opening the containers of food she brought. It was one of the only times I actually wanted to get sick so I could prove her wrong and go snag some ice cream after she left.
"What the hell is this stuff?" I asked looking at all the items that I didn't fucking recognize.
"This is what real food looks like," she informed condescendingly.
"Yeah, because my chips are a figment of my fucking imagination," I scoffed.
"This," she continued in a superior tone. "Is a whole grain tofu wrap, with brown rice and kale."
"I understood approximately half of the words in that sentence," I responded flatly.
"Kale? What the fuck is that?" Pita started searching through her limited food vernacular.
"Isn't that the name of the kid on house arrest in who's spying on his neighbors in Disturbia?" Tulip offered.
"We should have made a Twinkie tower instead of eating them," Pita sighed.
The smell didn't send my stomach into convolutions. Damn it. The one fucking time I actually wanted to wretch.
"Tic Tac you can't possibly want to eat this crap," I grumbled, patting my stomach.
Rose rolled her eyes, but continued. "This is a decaf lemon and ginger tea, Josie recommended. She said it would help with the nausea."
"Fuck. Sign me up." I picked up the plastic cup and took a few sips. I had to admit it was decent.
She grinned brightly. "See? Healthy can be good too."
"You sound like a fucking Whole Foods commercial Rose," I snickered.
"What's that?" I asked, pointing to a tub of some white pasty looking stuff.
"That's Hummus," she explained. "I got some whole wheat crackers too."
"Crackers?" Pita shrieked. "We all know the only thing that should go with Hummus is well...Pita."
Deciding that I might have better luck eating this with something to distract me, I dragged Rose and the stuff that she called food into the living room and started watching a movie.
We watched almost all of Frankie and Johnny, and I only managed to get down a third of the fucking nasty wrap thing.
"Who do we have to fuck to get a waffle?" Pita griped. "Prisoners get to eat better than this!"
Frankie, a waitress, had been fucked up by assholes that treated her like shit, and when the one nice guy Johnny, a cook, comes long she's too afraid to let him in. She fights Johnny's invasive lonely ass tooth and nail and he just kept coming back until it finally sunk in how much he loved her and that she could trust him.
I mean what the fuck did the guy have to do to prove it?
"I'm not even going to point out the irony here." Pita slowly shook her head. "And you didn't even have assholes to contend with."
I'm surprised Edward didn't fucking start requesting encores of Clair De Lune on midnight radio shows when he was trying to win me over.
"Do they even still have those?" Pita wondered.
By the end I was blubbering like a fucking bitch while Frankie opened the window and continued to brush her teeth.
There should be a goddamn disclaimer in front of every movie: Do not watch if you are prone to crying on a fucking dime because of roller-coaster hormones. I knew it was coming, but it still didn't make it any less snot sob inducing.
"No more of that for the over emotional," Rose teased, tapping my head. I glared at her through my tears.
"Let's look at the albums!" Rose chirped. "These are mostly baby pictures of Edward and I," she explained handing me on of the photo albums she brought with her. "Some of them are from when we were older though."
She gave explanations for some of them, but most just left me kind of reeling. There were so many of them. Holidays, birthdays, a few from graduation and dances. It made me wonder if it was too early to start putting a photo album together for Tic Tac.
"Oh my fucking God," I sputtered, catching sight of one of the pictures. "What the fuck is wrong with his hair?" I exclaimed, trying not to choke on my tea.
Half of Edward's hair was cut incredibly short in one of the photos, while the other side looked normal.
"Looks like he lost a bet," Pita commented.
"Oh, that was after he played pyromaniac with my dolls. The next night, after he fell asleep, I started chopping on his hair with craft scissors. I was halfway to making him look like Mr. Clean until mom caught me," Rose recounted, with a sly grin. "He had to wear a hat for months for it to grow out."
"Why wouldn't he just cut it all off?"
She shrugged. "I really don't know. You'd think that would have been easier. Edward has always been a little strange."
"I'm sure he had his reasons," Tulip snarled. "Don't judge."
There was another picture of Edward as an infant, his headful of matted dark reddish hair, rested on his mother's shoulder. She looked incredibly tired, but there was so much euphoria in her smile that I couldn't help but mirror it.
"Look at the size of that head!" Tulip cried. "There's no fucking way I'm going to be able to pass that fucking watermelon out of here!"
"You're missing the big picture here!" Pita chastised Tulip. "That's going to be us in a few months."
"Did Carlisle snap this?" I asked, still looking at the photo. I looked up when I didn't hear her respond.
"I cannot believe Dad," she mumbled to the ground.
For the last week, no one would tell me what the fuck had gone on with Carlisle when Edward and I made our emergency exit. Not that I questioned anyone, but it seemed like some big fucking secretive thing that everyone was tiptoeing around.
"Rose enough of this dodging bullshit. What happened after we left?" I demanded.
She shuddered and shook her head. "It was the most bizarre thing I had ever seen. Before I texted you, Esme and Dad were in a fierce disagreement over...something and completely pissed off with one another, enough to make Esme upset enough to insist on leaving. I assumed she had when I came back after you and Edward left for Cedars and I didn't see her..." She looked like she was trying to figure out what to say next.
"Then the five of us started talking about how crazy it was that you were having a baby, hoping things were alright, sharing things we knew about the two of you. Dad was abnormally quiet, but I noticed he was getting pretty tanked. He'd had a rough night arguing with Esme and I didn't think too much of it." she paused looking at me tentatively.
"Jasper left to go make a call outside, and I noticed Dad had disappeared. I assumed he had gone to the bar or somewhere, but when Jasper came back up a while later, he said he saw Esme and Dad necking in the far corner near the elevators!"
I erupted into a full on fucking spasm of giggles and I didn't give a shit how fucking girlie I felt or looked. That shit was too fucking funny for words. I couldn't catch a good breath or stop the tears from going down my cheeks.
"I'm glad you find that funny!" Rose snapped.
I tried to quiet myself while she continued speaking.
"By the time we all went to see what the fuck was going on, we saw the elevator doors closing with their hands all over each other!" Rose put her head in her hands and sighed.
"Go Mac Daddy C," I snickered. "That explains Emmett's choice of ringtone on Edward's phone."
"Why are you not shocked?" she quizzed angrily.
"Why should I be? I think it's awesome. First they hate each other, then are going at it like monkeys," I started laughing again.
"I hope you piss yourself," she scoffed.
"What the fuck do you want me to say Rose?" I was still laughing.
"It's just hard," she relayed, looking sad.
Obviously, Carlisle had been alone, or at least less obvious about who he was pairing up with since his wife died and she and Edward were having a hard time handling it.
"You didn't expect him to be alone for the rest of his life did you?" I asked, growing serious.
"No, but it's just strange seeing him with someone else. I hope it's just a one time thing."
"Who knows? Maybe that one time will lead to something amazing." She nodded slightly, but didn't say anything further.
I placed my hand on my stomach and started mentally telling Tic Tac what a crazy, but completely entertaining and loving family he was going to be a part of.
Soon after Rose left, I was fucking hungry again and decided that I was going to at least try all this foreign looking junk for the sake of Tic Tac. I took the opportunity to try some of that hummus stuff she had brought over.
Biggest fucking mistake ever.
Motherfucking nasty grainy crap had me running for the fridge and chugging water to get the taste to die, but after an entire bottle, it wasn't working enough so I went upstairs to get my toothbrush. As I was climbing the steps, my phone started playing Sexy Silk.
"Hi Hollywood," I answered after fishing the phone out of my pocket.
"Hey Beautiful, What are you up to?"
"Snorting coke and throwing back some Jack," I answered without missing a beat.
He snickered. "I thought we would ease her into uppers and drinking?"
"I figured he needed to start building up his tolerance now. No time like the present."
"How are you feeling?" he asked his tone genuine.
"Pregnant. You?"
"Tired," he answered. I could definitely hear the fatigue in his voice. I had just gotten into the bathroom and flipped on the light. "What are you doing?" he questioned as I feverishly brushed my tongue.
"Desperately trying to get the taste of this fucking nasty thick white stuff out of my mouth," I informed, taking a break from destroying my taste buds.
"You do know I'm going to kill whosever's making you swallow thick white stuff. Unless it's me and being as I'm not there. I need a name." His tone was semi-serious.
I laughed. "It's Rose. So fucking go for it, you'd be doing me a favor. Jizz tastes better than this pasty crap!"
He was laughing loudly. "What the hell is she making you eat?
"Hummus," I responded, cringing from just the fucking mention of it.
"You mean ground chick peas?"
"I don't fucking know what it's made out of! Rose is playing food Nazi and threatening to take my Hostess stash!" I complained. "She brought over all this stuff that doesn't even resemble food and expected me to eat it."
"She's got food hang ups, I'll talk to her," he volunteered.
"Don't do that, she's just trying to help me," I sighed. I felt bad that Rose's food intervention was a flop, but knew it came from a helpful place.
"I knew you were going soft."
"Better than you going soft," I argued, the nasty fucking taste just about gone.
"Nothing I have to worry about."
Pita snickered. "Oh yeah?"
"I bet I could make you," I challenged.
"Doubtful, even just the thought of you is causing Slugger to rise to the occasion," he said lowering his voice.
"Boom! Here comes the boom. Ready or not. How you like me now?" Pita exclaimed.
"So your Dad and your publicist are knocking nasties now?" I asked calmly.
I could hear him choking and coughing trying to cover the phone. "If I never hear that come out of your mouth again it will be too fucking soon. You've just devised the one sentence that can make healthy men think they have E.D.!"
"What? You're not happy for him?" I questioned wearing a smile.
"I am. It's just, he couldn't pick someone else? I mean fuck, I like Esme and she's damn good at her job, but..."
"Well now, she's giving your dad jobs of varying kinds," I interrupted.
"Why did I call you again?"
"Because you love me," I teased.
**Sexy Silk**
My appointment the following day seemed to drag on for fucking ever. I was grateful to talk with the doctor and confirm Tic Tac was healthy still, but I was eager to get out of there and see Edward tonight.
I swear I had peed in a cup more fucking times than an addict on parole in the last month and the scale was being a bitch. Even though I had been hurling more often than not, I still managed to gain a fucking pound and I was less than thrilled.
I started think about how fucking huge I was going to get. I knew it was vain and the baby's health should be the only thing I was considering, but I couldn't help but feel bothered by it. I was wondering how the fuck I could filter the Twinkies out and add some more of the nasty bland paste without wanting to remove my tongue.
Since I had all the normal preliminary tests done last week when Tic Tac scared the hell out of me, the visit was quicker than it would have been. Dr. Avery told me I could get my ass moving again and if the nausea got too overwhelming she could prescribe something, but she didn't clarify if Tulip could get her freak on with Slugger.
"Does that mean that sex is on the table again?" I asked hopefully.
Tulip was fucking pacing like she's was on house arrest. "I need a distraction. My neighbors are fucking creeping me out "
"Claimed the talking vagina," Pita scoffed. "I have a peen stalker living next door to me."
She pursed her lip and gave me a shy smile. "If that's where you prefer to have it, then yes."
Tulip was jumping up and down like a fucking kangaroo. "All systems are a motherfucking go bitches! Get this cockblocking anklet off of me and get me to my man!"
The doctor loaded me down with samples of prenatal vitamins, and made sure I scheduled another appointment for next month, before letting me leave.
Edward wanted me to call him when I was finished and leave a message, before I headed back home. He surprised me by actually answering.
"Bella, Is everything okay? How was the appointment?"
"Hi," I responded, still stunned that he answered. "It went fine. Tic Tac is healthy and I haven't thrown up today, so those are the highlights."
"I have a break for a while. You should come by," he said suddenly.
Tulip had a wicked idea and was wearing an evil fucking grin. "This is going to be too much fun."
"What the fuck is wrong with you? What's with that fuck-all creepy look?" Pita quizzed.
"You're going to enjoy this. You like to watch right?" Tulip purred.
Less than forty minutes later I was inside Edward's trailer looking around at the pretty decent sized space. The fucking thing had recessed lighting, a forty inch plasma and a kitchenette. It was almost bigger than my old studio.
"Nice digs," I snickered.
"It serves it purpose," he whispered and wrapped me up in his arms from behind. "I missed you."
He started leaving little pecks around my neck and ear, and I was already fucking losing it. I barely had enough focus to remember that Tulip had a request for her reunion with Slugger. Edward spun me around and his hands groped my ass and wove into my hair, while his lips moved feverishly against mine.
"I'm really not feeling it Edward," I lied, breathless as his lips moved to my neck again.
He looked at me skeptically, but then his features relaxed, though I could see the disappointment. "Oh, okay."
"It's all part of the plan," Tulip prodded.
"It really hot in here," I said casually, brushing my hair out of my face trying to distract him.
"I don't have a lot to drink," he informed apologetically. "Do you want some ice water?"
"That'd be great," I answered, trying to keep the fucking grin off my face.
"New and better plan has just been formed," Tulip cackled like a mad woman. "We're going to bring a whole new meaning to the term 'Big Chill.'"
"What's with the performance antics? You two are just going to fuck like bunnies in a tub anyway," Pita chastised.
When he turned to the fridge I quickly stripped off my top and bra and threw it into the corner. Followed by my shoes and the rest of my clothes.
I was sitting there causally on the oversized couch when he turned back to me. "We can always get you..." the words died in his throat as he caught an eye full.
The look on his face bordered somewhere between confused and completely turned the fuck on. Like he wanted to fuck me until I screamed.
"I'm counting on it," Tulip said with a pseudo prim smile.
"I think this will work fine," I said ignoring the look on his face, taking the water and sitting back on the couch.
"Bella, what are..."
"What? I told you it was warm in here," I interrupted innocently, but failed to keep the smirk off my face.
Fuck it. I'm pregnant, not dead and I wanted to have some fun before I'm the size of a house.
I took a couple sips of water, like it was a common place thing for me to be naked in his trailer.
Edward was staring at me, his eyes hooded trying to figure out what my fucking game was. His eyes narrowed and he stood back against the wall. "You're just going to sit there naked drinking water?"
"I think vodka is off limits," I shrugged and took another sip, waiting for the ice to melt down.
He grinned suggestively, obviously figuring out where I was going with this. "I guess it would be."
I took a shrunken cube out of the glass and ran it slowly over my lips, making sure my tongue peeked out and licked the tip of it while not breaking eye contact with Edward. His eyes darkened, but he didn't move.
Seductively, I trailed the ice down my neck and over the top of my left tit and around my nipple, while
I teased the other one with my fingers. I gradually switched it up, pulling and gently twisting at the opposite nipple while I circled the ice around the other one.
When I moaned, Edward took two quick steps forward.
"Stop," I commanded. "If you're a good boy you can have a taste when I'm done with my cool down."
He flashed me a wicked fucking grin, his left eye brow raised in challenge letting me know my time was just about up.
My overly sensitive headlights were nice and perky and Tulip was already panting and demanding for phase two to begin. The cube was melting pretty fast, but I managed to leave an icy trail down my stomach, and ran it over Tulip's outer lips a few times before gently pushing the last of it inside.
"This is fucking cold, it doesn't sparkle and it isn't near big enough," Tulip complained.
"This was your fucking plan? And now you don't like it you temperamental twat!" Pita scoffed.
My eyes didn't leave Edward's the entire time through my one woman show, it appeared like he wanted me as much as I fucking wanted him, but he was trying to see if I had objections to him finally coming over.
"This isn't a fucking courtroom, there's no due process here! This is a dick-tatorship!" Tulip yelled.
"I bet your nation is sporting a Slugger shaped flag too," Pita guessed with an eye roll.
"Don't fucking knock the national emblem! This is one nation under Slugger!" Tulip saluted the Flag O' Peen.
I wordlessly beckoned him with two fingers. The heat and the ice were doing incredible things to my body.
He was over to me in less than a second. Taking three quick steps and pulling off his white tee shirt in the process.
"What took you so long?" I asked in a breath, as he dropped to his knees. His dark green eyes entirely flooded with lust and desire.
"Evil... fucking...Beautiful," he mumbled in between kisses on inside of my thighs. His tongue made a bee line for Tulip, dipping and twirling and getting every drop of his novelty water while simultaneously driving me out of my fucking mind.
I barely had time to register what was happening before Tulip was exploding like fucking fireworks on the fourth.
I screamed incoherently and I arched off the couch, breathing heavily and wondering how the fuck that happened so damn fast.
Was that because of Tic Tac?
"Let's put that in the pregnancy plus column!" Pita cheered.
My mouth was back on his within a second, tasting the tang of Tulip's watered down happy juice all over his lips.
"I need to be fucking you," he admitted pulling back, his tone deep and cautious. His hands roamed over my body and Slugger was grinding slowly against Tulip.
"Slugger has gotten up for the scene of love," Tulip moaned. "Oh I feel it."
"Nothing stopping you," I answered, running my hand down his back, leaving soft scratches with my ever growing nails.
Deep kisses were being planted along my neck as his motions increased. "Safe...baby?" was all I could make out through my haze of please for the love of all that is holy, fuck me now.
"Yes," I answered, wishing I had told him that we'd been given the all clear, before I started this.
With little difficulty his jeans, shoes and boxers joined my clothes in the corner.
There was a floor to ceiling mirror across from where we were perched on the couch, and I got to watch his face while I slowly rode him.
His eyes didn't break from mine in the mirror, as his hands traveled around my body and Tulip and Slugger meeting repeatedly, was erotic as hell.
"Your tits are bigger," Edward groaned, while cupping and gently squeezing them both in succession. His fingers tweaking and pulling my nipples gently, while my tits bounced in tandem with our motions.
"Fringe benefit of being Edward Cullen's baby momma," I remarked, through a broken breath.
He bit my earlobe. "Hope you're prepared to be more than that, Bella."
I moaned, not knowing what the fuck he was talking about, rationalizing that Slugger had stolen too much blood from his brain to allow him to respond with anything coherent and I was enjoying myself way too fucking much to care.
There was a lot of panting and pawing, his fingers dug into my hips as our pace increased. His lips were on my neck sucking and kissing, I'm sure he was leaving all kinds of fucking hickeys, but I didn't care. He could fucking mark me all he wanted.
"Glad to know women's lib isn't totally dead," Pita spat.
My entire body was tightening and tensing, his multitalented fingers found my clit and started working it.
It wasn't long before Tulip was pulsing and clenching around Slugger, practically crushing him in her over excited embraces.
I tried my best not to scream out his name, but I failed miserably and my cry echoed in the small space. The orgasm was so fucking intense it pulsed through my veins and I didn't think it was ever going to end. My head fell back on his shoulder shuddering and gasping for any air I could get, as it gradually subsided.
"Jesus, fuck," Edward moaned, before his body shuttered and stilled.
It wasn't warm in here before, but it sure as fuck was now.
"Talk about a hot set," Tulip panted. "Don't move a fucking thing! We might need a second take, maybe even a third!"
Edward fell against the back of the couch, and pulled me with him. His breathing as heavy as mine as I rested against his chest.
"Is it weird that I'm looking forward to being able to run my hands over a bump?" he questioned, caressing flat stomach, as his breathing slowed.
He's actually looking forward to when I look like a bloated fucking mess? When I can't fit into my pants anymore and my ass hits the floor. Not fucking likely. I gave him a forced smile and looked away. I could feel the tears start form in my eyes.
"Shit," I mumbled trying to stop the damn tear faucet.
"What's wrong?" Edward asked, looking me over.
"I'm going to get fucking huge, because I can't swallow that shit Rose calls food, and you're going to dump me for one of those skinny little bitches that you couldn't hit with a sack of rice and you're not going to want my baby-got-back-ass anymore," I rambled through tears.
Stupid fucking hormones.
"Bella, you're growing our baby I don't care how big you get. I'll still want you."
I turned back and glared at him. "That is a fucking cop-out answer. At least give me some fucking incentive, you're not going to want me when I look like a human Twinkie."
He rolled his eyes. "It's not a cop out, it's the truth and you're not going to look like a Twinkie," he answered nuzzling my hair.
I huffed. I knew he was just telling me what I wanted to hear.
"Would you love me any less, because I gained weight or stopped going to the gym," he questioned.
"No, but I might not want to jump you as often," I answered, with a small grin, feeling slightly better.
"I'm going to have a really difficult time not doing what we just did every time I see you," he admitted.
"Edward you don't have to say that."
"You don't fucking get it!" His tone grew serious, as he made me look at him. "You've always been hot as hell Bella, but knowing that you're pregnant with my baby makes you ten times fucking sexier. I'd say it makes me love you even more but I know that's not possible."
I went to respond but he continued. "You are everything to me and I've been trying to tell you this all week, but there was never a good time, but I think now would be as good a time as ever."
The same look from a few nights ago filled his features again. He appeared wracked with nerves, but his determined green eyes held a tiny shred of hope. As he opened his mouth to speak, there was a loud knock. "You're needed on set in ten minutes Mr. Cullen," a muffled call came through the door.
"Of course I fucking am," Edward mumbled loudly. "Got it." he yelled, exhaling roughly, his hands quickly going to his hair.
The hope and the fear faded from his face and complacency took over. I was entirely fucking confused as some seemingly important moment seemed to pass us by again.
"I have at least another couple of hours here," he informed, lightly. "I'll meet you at home?"
"I think I'll wait for you in here. Relax for a while?"
Tulip nodded in agreement. She was already kicked back in her tee that said Tulip Says: Keep Calm and Love Slugger.
"If you get too hot again, turn on the ac," he suggested with a smirk.
"I'd rather open a window," I grinned.
A/N: 1st I'm sorry thing took so long- family drama and little children are responsible. Yes, it didn't advance anything much, but next chapter definitely will.
I wonder what Edward trying to ask Bella? ;) Damn interruptions...
If you want a huge clue (as if it isn't obvious) and a first hand account of what happened at Soho House from Rose's POV I strongly suggest that you donate to Fandom For Texas- and even if you don't you still should.
http:/texasfires (dot) ysar (dot) info/
Why is a raven like a writing desk? Is the original riddle from Alice in Wonderland.
Frankie and Johnny, Disturbia, The Lather Effect and one Darlene Connor quip. and as always- lots of others I'm sure I missed.
Relax-Frankie Goes to Hollywood.
One and Only- Adele
Return of the Mac- Mark Morrison (Edward's highjacked ringtone)
Reviews are better than Twinkies, and as close to the thrill of trailer sex with Sluggerward as I am going to get. :)
Big thanks to my bestiebeta and all those who are still R&R.