The room was completely foreign, red drapes adorned the stained wood-planked walls. I had definitely never been here before, but couldn't escape the sense of familiarity that invaded me. There were intermittent splashes of light from well placed candles and the scent of cinnamon was everywhere.
A couch swathed in thick red fabric sat in the middle of the tiny space. It was only then I noticed I was wearing a green velvet dress that went down to my ankles.
Where the fuck did this come from? Is this from the damsel in distress collection?
Screw this. Where is my shield and sword? I'm my own fucking hero.
I only had a few seconds to dwell on the unrecognizable dress and location before I realized I wasn't alone.
Out of the shadows Edward appeared, only he didn't look entirely like himself. He was exceedingly pale and somehow more gorgeous than I thought I'd ever seen him. Though instead of running to him, I was planted to the spot I was standing, unable to move as he rushed towards me in a blur.
He wouldn't look at me, his head was down and his hair was wild and the bright copper strands shimmered in the limited light, as he stood in front of me.
"Edward?" I whispered. His head rose slowly in response, but he didn't open his eyes. There was something red on the corner of his mouth. I absently reached up with a tentative fingertip to remove it, realizing immediately that it was blood.
I sucked it into my mouth without a second thought. There was no taste, only a strange sensation of knowing I had done something extremely taboo. Edward's eyes immediately sprang open. They were crimson, instead of their usual brilliant green.
Did he get fucking contacts?
I couldn't lie, I was scared as fuck. What the hell was wrong with him? Why did he look like he'd been spending too much fucking time with Harold and Kumar? Or like some Interview with a Vampire extra?
Why did I have the sudden urge to stand in the middle of the woods and ask him how long he's been seventeen?
"I'm guessing that wasn't deer blood?" I questioned, slowly realizing what he was, but I wasn't saying that shit out loud.
"There wouldn't be much entertainment in that," he answered with a smirk.
"Nicknaming you the deer hunter wouldn't be accurate then?" I didn't know where this line of questioning was coming from.
His eyes glowed as he stiffly walked around me, he ran his tongue along his front teeth, fully exposing overly sharp incisors. "I'm more like a happy Roman, glad-he-ate-her."
Even though it was a cheesy ass joke and he sounded a bit too much like Christopher Walken, the message was perfecting fucking clear.
Why did that make him twelve times hotter?
His gaze stayed locked on mine. I was more than hypnotized by the deep red orbs. Unable to look away, the fear of his new appearance was being slowly replaced with fascination and lust. The undead look was fucking working for him and I needed him more than I've ever needed anything in my entire life. It was a consuming ache that radiated everywhere.
"You should eat this instead," he spoke quickly. He held an apple that appeared out of thin air, a shade deeper than his eyes, in his hands like an offering. The impossibly glossy fruit presented me a glimpse of my own reflection.
My hair was slightly lighter than ebony and insanely long, my skin was just as pale as his and my lips matched the color of his eyes.
What the fuck was this? Holy shit. This was too fucked up for words. I was not going to turn into some live action version of Snow White.
Was I?
"Why don't you just bite me instead of trying to poison me?" I grinned, wising up to what was happening. "More fun for you, less unconscious under glass for me."
"It's entirely safe." His voice was controlled and infused with wicked undertones.
"Uh huh."
"Suddenly you think I want to poison you? I've only been trying to keep you alive, despite your insistence to become like me. I think I've been doing an impeccable job and I'm not about to hand you tainted fruit." He seemed offended and irritated.
I'd be irritated if someone stuck me in a grey peacoat too.
"You better kiss me to wake me up," I warned. I took a glance at him and back at the apple, before taking a large bite.
I chewed quickly, the juice overflowed my mouth and down the side of my chin. He kissed where it had trickled onto my skin and moaned.
"Temptation is juicier than I thought," he affirmed with a smile.
"Master of the cliché would work better for you," I snickered, rolling my eyes at him lame ass sentiment.
"If I was a cliché, I would have a cape."
"You're so touchy for being undead," I scoffed. "You'd think all those years of hunting townspeople and avoiding Van Helsing would have mellowed your ass a little bit."
"Do you get all of your facts from movies? You should consult Yahoo once in a while."
"Google is better," I retorted.
"You don't want this," he responded solemnly, refocusing me. "It's not as glamourous as it's made out to be." He took several quick steps away from me.
I thought over what he said. I didn't want to be a bloodsucker did I? Not that I could remember, but being eternally twenty-five and chasing down my student loan officers to snack on, didn't sound like a particularly bad way to spend the time.
Screw being a princess. I wanna be a vampire.
"You don't want me to become like you?" I asked, feeling him out.
"You know I don't," he responded in a long sigh. "I told you, I'll only change you if agree marry me."
In that moment, it seemed like a ridiculous condition and one I was all too happy to comply with.
"Okay," I agreed in a low whisper.
Okay? Wait! No no no! What the hell are you saying?
He took a measured step towards me. "Are you finally accepting?"
"Yes?" I answered as more of a question than I meant to.
"And you still want me to change you as we...?" he trailed of. It took me a split second to figure out what the hell he was talking about, but when I caught on, I smiled. He wanted to change me as we were fucking.
Why couldn't I remember making any of these fuckawesome plans?
"It's the last human pleasure I'm going to have, make it count Cullen," I prodded, with a sly grin.
His grin mirrored mine and he was instantly right next to me, his mouth at my ear. "Challenged accepted, Mrs. Cullen."
Holy fucking hell. Why was that so hot? I should be screaming in protest about hyphenation and archaic practices, railroading and chauvinistic assholism gone berserk, but I only used my mouth to cover his. His kiss was guarded but equally urgent as mine, his tongue dipping and probing while our mouths moved together.
I broke the kiss, desperate to have his skin on mine. "This coat has got to go," I asserted, pulling it from his body, with some help from him.
"You're not attached to this dress right?" he asked in a needless breath, but not letting me answer before he ripped it from my body.
The rest of our few items of clothing followed suit, and within seconds he was laying me back on the red couch.
Lips, strong hands and writhing bodies connected time and again. He held me like he was holding a fragile piece of glass and I could shatter at any second, but at the same time like his entire being was focused and attuned to mine.
I could feel the familiar intensity pulsing and building at a rapid pace, knowing that I was only seconds away from coming entirely undone.
"Do it," I moaned, pulling his face up to mine. He kissed me fiercely, his cold tongue going into my mouth. His kissing and sucking lips forged a trail down my neck and back up, while he continued to pound into me.
"Fucking do it Edward!" I screamed as the last spring of tension snapped.
As I came, he mouth found my neck and bit. His frigid lips encompassing a small patch of my neck, while his teeth made purchase in my tender flesh. I was expecting pain, but there was nothing but a blinding fucking pleasure that came in multiple waves.
Why was I not feeling any pain? I should be feeling lots of it. The scene slowly faded away as I opened my eyes.
Fuck. What the...? Did I just cum in my fucking sleep?
"Why can't we wake up like that every morning?" Tulip panted. "Subliminal cummage beats the fuck out of the alarm clock!"
"Since when did you develop some sick twisted vampire fascination?" Pita questioned shaking her head.
"Once you go vamp you don't go back," Tulip argued pointing to her new poster that said "Vamp Tramp 4 Life."
"Are you okay?" I heard Edward ask. I jumped, startled seeing him next to me all fleshy colored with normal eyes. It was still dark, and my heart was thrumming in my ears.
It was only then that I noticed he was staring at me with a hint of what the fuck is going on spliced with some God I want to fucking devour her look.
"Devour? Really? You went there vampire girl?" Pita groaned. "I didn't authorize that thought!"
Tulip was pissed. "First you have a problem with sparkle peens and now you're getting all fucking bitchy over vampires?" she raged. "If you start complaining about secluded islands, broken headboards and flying feathers I am going to get full custody of Tic Tac and blow this place!"
"Uh. Yeah, I'm good," I lied, because I was more disoriented than anything. I sat up slightly, sneaking a peek at our clock, it was five am.
"You moaned in your sleep and called my name. I've never heard you talk in your sleep," he acknowledged, flipping on a soft light.
"I've never had a reason too," I mumbled trying to figure out how the fuck I could wrangle him into biting me. Hard.
Preferably with fangs and... shit what was I saying?
"Who do you think you are? Buffy?" Pita complained. "Are you going move to Sunnydale and be friends with Willow too?"
"Just as long as we can have some one on one with Angel," Tulip winked.
"Angel turned into a soulless killer after nailing Buffy and they could never have sex again!" Pita reminded hotly.
"You're flushed," Edward started in again, watching me with curious eyes. "Good dream?" There was a knowing glint in his non-red eyes.
"You know you are my demon," Tulip purred.
"Extremely fucking vivid," I answered, vaguely. I turned my head slightly and ran my finger down his stubbled jaw and to the corner of his mouth and lifted his top lip with the tip on my finger, trying to examine his teeth.
Edward looked disturbed and pulled back a bit, causing my finger to drop out of his mouth. "What are you doing?"
"Checking to see how batshit crazy I've gone," I informed noting that he indeed didn't have any freakishly shaped incisors.
"Bat? Let's just throw garlic, a cross and holy water out there too while we're at it," Pita complained. "Maybe a coffin or two and a stake, Does that about cover it?"
"Don't forget the moats," Tulip reminded, and dubbed herself the purveyor of all things wet or water related.
Apparently, violence was my hormonal aphrodisiac of choice.
Who knew?
"You need to give me a dental exam in order to prove you're not crazy? What kind of dream were you having exactly?" he urged.
"One that could make you and Slugger obsolete," Tulip threatened.
"You were kind of a ...we were fucking that was it," I answered, not looking at him.
"That doesn't explain why you were checking my teeth."
"You're due for a cleaning." I mumbled, not looking at him. "Better get on that."
Dammit. Why was this so embarrassing?
Stupid fucking hormones.
He was still looking at me like I was clinically insane. "You're blushing," he commented with a chuckle. "Now I've got to know what you were dreaming about that could make that happen."
"I need a snack," I answered, trying to scramble away.
"I'd rather he snack on us," Tulip complained. "I'd fucking love me some vampire tongin'.'"
"There's no way in hell I'm letting you out of this bed, until you tell me what you were just dreaming about." He held me tightly around the middle, but was careful to keep his hold slightly above my stomach.
"You would starve your child in order to find out details of some sex dream?" I griped and punctuated my frustration with a huff.
"She won't starve." He placed his hand over my tiny bump that had finally started to appear. I was officially twelve weeks and Tic Tac was much bigger than his candy namesake now.
I wish I could say it was the only physical change I had undergone, but there were multiple things happening to my body; my tits, my hair, my skin, the list seemed never-ending. Luckily, my love affair with all things Hostess had slowed, but that didn't save my ass which was definitely plumper despite starting to workout with Rose's trainer.
Who the fuck wanted to exercise when they were pregnant? I'd only gone a couple of times, but Eric was insistent that if I kept a regular routine...whatever, I tuned out and went to the juice bar. Unfortunately, my lack of commitment made me the scale's bitch since I'd gained three pounds in the last five weeks.
I was forced to tell Tanya after holding the walls of the bathroom for the better part of an hour because Angela had walked passed me with fresh lox and bagels. Tanya was convinced I was developing a drug problem since I always looked haggard and was constantly in the bathroom. In attempt at an intervention, she had pamphlets on her desk to private rehabs that have done "wonders" for certain friends of hers. Alice opened her mouth to presumably correct her, but I cut in.
"I'm already in a rehabilitative program," I informed, offended with her assumption.
"Oh?" Her tone and body language thought I was bullshiting. "I've seen this many times Bella, there is a lot of pressure being with someone who is so high profile. I'm just hoping you'll chose to get sober and realize that..."
"Pregnancy is delightfully sobering," I deadpanned, with a superior grin knowing that I would rather have the truth out there then another fucking rehab rumor.
Tanya was speechless, gaping at me, while she processed my quip.
"Why the fuck does everyone give us that look?" Pita complained. "We're pregnant not in 'Ripley's Believe it or Not' sporting a reptile head."
"I'd rather be immortalized at Madame Tussauds'," Tulip commented.
"You need to be waxed, not shaped from it! You look like you're trying to grow a pube forest," Pita chastised.
It wasn't until Tanya saw Alice's scrunched up face and subtle head shake that she began to realize I wasn't joking.
"I'm going to have to put Lauren on suicide watch," she mumbled, blinking rapidly.
"I'd rather watch her commit suicide." Pita commented. "Hobag."
"You're sure dear?" I looked at Alice, wondering if Tanya had recently needed to check into one of the rehabs that she had been pushing a minute ago.
"If the morning sickness and the incessant narcolepsy spells weren't enough of a clue." I took out my phone and showed her the picture of Tic Tac that was on there. "The fact that there is a baby in my uterus is pretty telling."
"Oh! Oh would you look at that?" she said marveling. "This is why you kept pushing the large maternity purchase?" she jutted her stare at Alice.
Alice giggled and nodded.
"Pregnant," Tanya mused. "Edward for a father, Rosalie for an aunt, and Bella Swan a Hollywood darling and an eventual award winning costume designer for a mother," she listed with grin.
I rolled my eyes, but she continued. "This baby is going to be so blessed and..."
There was a very loud crash and scream from the other side of the door.
Lauren plowed through it a second later, red faced. She must've heard. Fuck, it was game over if she knew. Every fucking media outlet would find out within seconds.
"You! You're pregnant you lying, slutty little bitch! You can't tell me that it's Edward's. We all know you were fucking Emmett, there are pictures of the two of you everywhere!"
"What's wrong Lauren? You thought you'd weasel your ass into my life and steal Edward out from under me? I knew you couldn't keep up the fucking charade! You've been type cast and you fill the brown nosing skank role to a tee and that's all I've ever accepted you as."
I had already gotten out of my seat and Lauren was stalking towards me."I'm going to tell every source I can find what's going on! Everyone's going to …"
"You're going to do no such thing!" Tanya interrupted authoritatively. "Need I remind you Lauren, you signed an NDA when I hired you, and if you violate it in any way I have the right to not only terminate you, but take legal action as well. Not to mention the clients could also."
She glared at Tanya and quickly turned her attention to me, her hand shot out from nowhere and dug her nails into my arm. "What are you blackmailing him with? That cannot be his kid!" she screamed and I squeezed her hand and pushed her away from me.
I pulled back to finally punch that bitch out once and for all, but shockingly, Alice beat me to it.
Except she only bitch slapped her. Lauren staggered back, clutching her cheek and blinking back tears.
"You are a piece of work Lauren, attacking a pregnant woman because you are so disenchanted with your life. Did you think you had a shot with Edward? That he was going to see you being besties with his girlfriend and he was going to magically fall for you? You pathetic ass-kisser?"
"I...I...know," Lauren stuttered.
"Did I say you could speak?" Alice warned. "Listen, you know absolutely dick sweetie. Stick with your strengths."
"But I... I...It's not..."
Alice smiled at her, a tweaked out, smug fucking look in her eyes as she took a menacing step towards Lauren. The still blithering Hobag flinched, but Alice's smile widened further and she whispered something in her ear.
"No!" Lauren shrieked and looked back at me, the alarm in her eyes screamed at me. "No, you're lying!" she cried at Alice.
"Afraid not," Alice laughed darkly, she then smooshed Lauren's mouth closed with her fingers and backed her out of the office and closed the door.
"In case it wasn't apparent Miss Mallory, you're fired." Tanya spoke for the first time, over the intercom on her desk, which Lauren must have heard, because there was an even louder scream coming from the other side of the door.
"Well, that was fun," Alice chirped. "I hope I'm not in too much trouble."
Tanya shook her head with a small smile. "Of course not, but now we both have to find new assistants."
Alice shrugged. "Easy enough."
"What did you say to her?" I asked, still a little dumbfounded by what the fuck had just went down.
"The only thing she needed to hear," Alice answered cryptically.
Needless to say, I never looked at Alice the same way again, she definitely gave Rose and I a run for our money as queen bitch, and I couldn't be happier that she was my friend. Edward, with limited coaxing, convinced me to leave Denali sooner than I would have liked. I couldn't risk the Hobag knowing where I was, even if she wasn't allowed back on the property. I could have absolutely taken her ass if need be, but I didn't want to take any more risks while I had Tic Tac in tow. Edward was so fucking pissed about the marks Lauren left on me that he talked about dismembering her.
"Bella?" Edward's voice cut into my head again, reminding me that I had completely blocked him out for who knows how long while I was thinking about all the stuff that had happened. "Spacing out again?"
"That's what happens when you stop me from getting food, Tic Tac robs me of all brain function."
"Well, I hope she's left you enough to tell me what you were dreaming about?"
"Are you still fucking on that? You're acting like we never have sex and you're jealous of dream you!"
The truth was, Slugger was getting more use than a fucking arcade Pac-man joystick did in the eighties. Tulip was never fucking satisfied, if I wasn't eating or sleeping or freaking the fuck out about impeding motherhood, I was thinking about sex or hunting it down.
"I'm the world's most dangerous predator," Tulip admitted.
Our cars, his trailer again, every fucking room of our house, the green room at the Jimmy Kimmel studio.
I should invent my own IPhone app. I'd call it Fucksquare. My checkins would have bitches beat worldwide.
"It couldn't have been that bad," he started in again, caressing my ass in encouragement. I rolled my eyes, but resolved to get this over with so I could go get some food for Tic Tac.
"It wasn't bad, it was fucking strange. You were kind of a vampire," I mumbled the last word playing the dream over in my head.
"Like with fangs?" he questioned, his interest growing, his voice becoming less sleepy.
"Yeah, they were subtle though," I admitted quietly.
"Did I bite you?" he asked heavily, kissing over my shoulder.
I looked over my shoulder and nodded with a slight smirk. "It was fucking hot."
He tipped my head back and caught my eyes, before dipping his head and running his lips against my neck.
"Like this?" Then bit down just hard enough right below my ear.
"Mother of fuck yes," I moaned.
"Jesus Bella, you're really into this aren't you?" he asked, with an air of amusement.
"Yes, and you are ruining it with all the talking. What the fuck happened to silent movies?" Tulip complained.
I suddenly felt like he was judging me, which instantly pissed me off. I shoved at him, because the moment had passed and I could feel the fucking tears welling up in my eyes.
"Go to hell Edward," I spat clamoring out of the bed wiping at the stupid tears.
I hurried down to the kitchen, hoping he wasn't following me and had just gone back to sleep. I knew I wasn't thinking rationally, and I wasn't that angry with him. He knew I was having a fucking hard time adjusting to all this, my changing body, leaving my job earlier than I had planned on, him being gone all the time. He couldn't just humor me through the damn vampire fantasy?
What kind of fucking actor was he if he couldn't even do that?
"He's perfect for the role and you know it," Pita grinned. "Maybe an acting coach, specializing in dark and broody doormat roles would help?"
Tulip huffed. "Marriage before sex? Shouldn't you test out a few lovesticks before choosing the one you want to spend forever with?"
Where the hell had all the marriage undertones come from? That was more unsettling than a spontaneous orgasm and way more unfuckingcomfortable. Burning in pain for days was way less intimidating, it was stressing me the fuck out that dream me would agree to that for something as simple as sex.
Trying to sate my latest craving, I grabbed the buffalo wings, pineapple chunks, the giant bottle of BBQ sauce out of the fridge. As I was trying to balance everything, I ended up dropping the bowl of pineapple and the pieces of fruit scattered everywhere, the bowl didn't break, but I really didn't give a shit.
"Fucking Goddammit!" I yelled, the tears already streaming down my face.
"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!" I sobbed while I roughly placed the other stuff I had been balancing on the kitchen island.
I kicked the shit out of the bottom of the island with the ball of my foot and slammed my fist on the top. I was pissed to fucking hell and all kinds of upset, I let out a frustrated screech and continued to cry with my head in my hands.
"She's crying over food...again." Pita lamented.
"What happened?" Edward asked looking around panicked and tired.
"I dropped the fucking pineapple," I sniveled. My anger with him had completely evaporated, but I was completely fucking pissed at myself for being suddenly clumsy and crying over it.
He smiled slightly, but held it back knowing that I was in no fucking mood to be laughed at. My hormones owned my ass, and I could not be held responsible if I stabbed him with a paring knife should the mood strike me.
"I really wanted that," I tried to explain through my tears, starting to clean up the mess. I had a brief thought of eating it off the floor.
"I think we have some more," he tried to comfort me.
"No we don't that was the last of it." I whined.
"I'm sure there's other fruit in here," he called, I could hear him in the fridge moving things around.
I didn't really care what the hell he found, it wasn't going to compare to the fucking pineapple that was now in the garbage, but I thought it was sweet that he was looking.
I started digging into my remaining stuff, pouring the BBQ sauce over the wings like I was trying to drown them. I moaned as the sauce hit my tongue, I swear I could have drank it straight from the bottle. I licked my fingers and grabbed another wing, I realized I was missing something, and yelled to Edward that Tic Tac needed Tabasco, but he spoke from right behind me.
"Got it," he said holding it out in front of me.
"You know me too well."
He grinned. "And you're right. We don't have anymore pineapple."
I sniffled a little bit. "I told you."
"But we do have this." He held out an Gala apple.
I began laughing hysterically.
"I didn't know my fridge foraging skills would amuse you so much."
It wasn't as shiny as the one in my dream, but it did look pretty fucking good. Even if it wouldn't be as good as pineapple it still would be better than nothing.
"Kind of like a vampire living on animal blood," Pita compared.
I began playing with the stem, twisting it while I absently said letters under my breath.
"Is this some new ritual for apple eating I'm unaware of?" Edward asked, noticing my weird ass behavior.
I rolled my eyes and smiled. "When I was a kid, the little girls in my class would twist the stem of their apples and go through the alphabet, and whatever letter your stem came off at that would be the first letter of the name of the person you were going to end up with."
"Very scientific," he teased.
"It's actually really fucking stupid," I admitted, stopping on "D" and placing the apple down on the table.
He kept his gaze on me, watching me in a way I couldn't really describe. It was almost like he was gauging me, deciding if I was ready for something. I suddenly remembered I owed him an apology for earlier.
"I'm sorry I got mad at you. My hormones and libido didn't appreciate being made fun of and acted accordingly."
He smirked. "I didn't mean to upset you. I was surprised that something so simplistic would excite you so much."
"I guess you had to be in my head for it to make sense," I admonished.
"Why'd you stop? Afraid to find out your answer?" He motioned to the apple, with a raised eyebrow.
"Are you going to be upset when it doesn't snap off at E?" I prodded.
"I think it doesn't matter." He had this amused grin on his lips again, a hidden secret hidden in his tired eyes.
I shrugged and picked the apple, toying with the stem while he stared at me intently. I could see the faintest rays of light peaking through the window. I didn't know what he was thinking, but I really would have given anything to find out with the way he was looking at me. It was the same look he had given me countless times now.
I turned the stem another time, actually hoping it would break off at E, but I had to twist it three more times, I said each letter as I twisted. A little disappointed when it snapped off after I said "H"
"Sorry dude, guess I need to go scope out someone named Hugo," I chuckled.
"Maybe I should just consider a name change?" his sweet smile broadened.
"I don't see you as a Harry," I joked.
"Neither do I," he laughed casually. "I think husband would sound better."
Pita jumped up and sputtered. "What the fuck did he just say?"
"What? What did you just say?" I sputtered mirroring my blindsided subconscious, feeling like I was spinning the fuck out of control.
"If I change mine though, you should probably consider changing yours," he continued calmly. His eyes were locked on mine, like he was trying to see inside my soul or something.
He took out a little black box and held it open, the contents of which shocked me into fucking muteness. I was trying to breathe so badly, but I couldn't get any air into my fucking lungs. I felt tears falling, but Pita hadn't figured out what was actually happening enough to offer any insight. A huge diamond was staring back at me from the tiny box, beautiful and perfect but holding far more temptation and upset than a simple apple ever could.
"Marry me, Bella."
**gasp**
A/N: First I'm sorry this took over a month:( I took a little trip to Los Angeles, got lost in a maze of tents and wonderful women, spent several days becoming knowledgable of the Nokia Theater and LA Live, then on the last day, I was on the edge of a black carpet behind a barrier and may or may not have seen Rob, Kristen and Taylor (among others) up close and personal.
This was all for research purposes I swear. ;)
I'm sure all of you are ready to string me up for the cliffy- promise I won't leave you hanging for too long.
The Deer Hunter, New Moon and this little film called Twilight, perhaps you've heard of it? ;)
To my wingman and bestie flove you. Thanks for dealing with my insanity time and again.
Thank you too everyone still R&R you guys are amazing – some of the reviews make me cry (in a good way) or make me laugh my ass off or both- honored that you have stuck with me for this long.