Simons's Log: Entry 3. January 16th, 1989
The whispers continue without respite. This unnerves me deeply. Despite this I was able to sleep last night. They were so barely audible that the raindrops hitting my roof was enough to drown out what little sound there was. Though I fear they have become more distinct upon waking. Like the sensation of waking to a song that plays on a loop in your mind. Once again I can make out words like "frost" and "cold". Such a bizarre fascination with snow. Maybe it is reacting to the weather outside. It's been growing especially colder the past week. I find myself cranking the heat up every day now. I almost feel sorry for the soldiers that patrol up and down our streets. It's the same few people too. Everyone else must be out fighting. Were it not for my studies I imagine I would start to become stir crazy at this point. I wonder how the neighbors are doing.
January 17th, 1989
I did not sleep as well last night. The voices kept me up. They continue to ascend in volume and clarity. Even now I find it difficult to concentrate on writing while it speaks to me at such a constant pace, and I do mean constant. It doesn't need to breath, it's nothing but word after word after word. Ugh! I am getting a headache. I don't understand this. I haven't worn the crown since two nights ago. It's as if I removed the crown, but it left something with me. Like a fingerprint upon my mind. I try to talk back to it, but again I get no response. If this is from my own brain brought on by the crown, why would it talk with such fervor about ice and snow? Why would my psyche have a fixation on such things? I try to come up with answers but I simply can't think right now. I'm just going to watch some television and hope this headache goes away. The answers will find me.
January 18th, 1989
No sleep. At all. My eyes are heavy but I said I will not give up, and I mean that. The voices-gah I wish they would be silent! The voices are now at level of common talking. I could go and talk to someone and their voice would be just as loud. I long for the whispers again. That I could tolerate. This..a constant barrage of words at full volume. I tossed and turned for what felt like hours before I gave up. The headache didn't go away either. If anything it just got worse. Every time I feel like I'm at my worst I am proven wrong. Did I mention I've grown even paler? At first I thought it may have had something to do with the season and the lack of sunshine, but this is far too pale. I practically have Betty's complexion now...I'm writing this entry so slowly. Between the headache and the accursed voices it's hard to focus on anything at all. I'm so worn down at this point I can't even think what to do. I just need to sleep first. I will dedicate today to that. Eventually I will just pass out, right? I will update again once I have had a good chance to rest.
January 20th, 1989
OH GOD I JUST WANT TO SLEEP. MAKE THEM STOP PLEASE.
ᶦᵗ ᵏᶰᵒʷˢ ᵐʸ ᶰᵃᵐᵉ
January 25th, 1989
The long awaited update! I finally found the solution I was looking for. Somehow, in my stupor I was in the last week, I stumbled upon my answer. I knew it would come to me! I was almost afraid to do it at first but I was left little option. It turns out, wearing the crown silences the voices! At least for now. But that is all that matters. I could sleep, and sleep I did! I can't believe I lost track of time like I did though. It's been what a week since my last entry? I just got so caught up in the peace that finally found me. The peace that the crown has given me. I'm wearing it now! I took it off once or twice but the voices came back in full force and I will have none of that. Sure, there are visions here and there. But it is nowhere near what it was. The crown isn't hostile anymore! It's friendly. I'm thankful. Today is a day for celebration. I think I will sit down and read a good book. Or watch paint dry. Something of that nature.
January 26th, 1989
What on Earth was I thinking? This crown is by far no gift. Yet there I was praising it. Good god I even scribbled something like a madman in here several nights back. This crown is indeed hostile. I didn't see in what way until now. Think about it. The intense assaults on my psyche? The way it forces my dependency on the crown? It doesn't want to kill me, it wants to control me. To what end I don't yet know. There doesn't seem to be any reason why. It's like..Shazow! A parasite. The crown is a parasite, and I am it's host. I hate that I must still wear it. I am no fool. I realize the danger I place myself in by wearing the crown. I tried taking it off, I really did. I just..can't deal with the voices. At that rate it would only be a matter of days before I pass the brink of insanity. Heck, I almost did. I don't wish to act that way again. However my spirit remains strong, even with the threat of insanity looming above me. My determination will not be taken away so easily. Not after the breakthrough I had today.
P.S. Betty always laughed when I said Shazow. What Einstein can have his Eureka but I can't have my Shazow?
January 27th, 1989
The first day I have felt inspired in awhile. Allow me to recap my findings today. First I brought in the next box of rations that was left on my doorstep. This time it was a half-opened Hot Pocket and four grapes..
Seriously?
Anyway, after I took in the rations I began a physical evaluation of my person. It is disturbing, but curious. My skin is no longer pale, it is GRAY. Sickly looking but it does not feel so. My temperature has lowered to a level where it should not be without feeling ill effects. 34° Celsius. I don't feel cold to the touch, yet I don't have anyone else to confirm that I am not. This is what I know so far: I know that the crown wants control over my body. It is a parasite that forces it's host into wearing it so that it may gain further access to my brain. Perhaps it even feeds off of me in some way. I believe the physical effects I'm currently experiencing are direct responses from my prolonged exposure to the crown. This just seems to be another step in its cruel process. I won't say I'm not worried, but I learn more and more about the crown everyday now. The only thing I can do, the only chance I have, is to continue studying it. Only through this can I find a way to stop it.
January 28th, 1989
A few things happened today. New developments in the war and in my studies. I was awoken from my slumber by pounding at the door. I was very satisfied to discover that this had not manifested from my own brain, but was indeed a real person. It was that soldier again. The one that keeps giving me his leftovers and calling them "rations". He looked as if he was about to grab me but he froze. His look confused me, but then I remember my appearance. Somehow, it's easy to forget that I look like a plague victim who hasn't had a decent haircut in over a month. Wearing a crown no less. He regains his composure and tells me that an emergency draft is going on, and that any man who can hold a gun is being sent to war. I looked over his shoulder and I see what little fathers that weren't fighting already be taken from their families. I thought to protest, but what could I do? There was no stopping them. I did the only thing I could: play up my appearance. I coughed and wheezed. While giving my most congested voice, I demanded to join the draft! "Please good sir! *cough* Yuh-You have to *cough cough* let me fight the good *coughing fit*" The look on his face was priceless. He was so grossed out. I managed not to laugh and he said that I was "unfit for service" and left. Boy did I dodge a bullet. Literally. Though..a thought remains with me. I feel guilty. What kind of coward am I to stand there and watch them separate more families? Surely my studies on the crown are important to all mankind though! I couldn't just risk myself and let all my work be for nothing right? There was nothing I could've done anyways. I would have been shot before I even came close to saving any of them. So then, why do I feel so bad about it?
That isn't all. Up until now, the voices and visions I have been experiencing were like two different entities. The visions recently just flop about, they are rather harmless once you get use to them. The voices that had been the bane of my existence have ceased for days now. But today it was the visions that made contact with me. They spoke to me. The random words that had once held no meaning on their own were now being weaved into sentences. As usual, they would still not respond to my voice. I suppose their intent was to send a message, not receive any. They spoke of unlocking the ultimate power through the snow. That is all they would say. They persisted for nearly an hour and I began to fear that history might repeat itself, and I would be hearing this for days. Without thinking I took off the crown and the loud bombardment of voices were gone! Though the visions maintained, and they continued on with their promises of power. It seems I have reached a point where it does not matter if I wear the crown. I would continue further but, it's becoming difficult to write when the visions block most of the journal. Oh well. At least I'm not wearing the blasted thing now.
January 31st, 1989
I believe at this point another video entry is in order. Once again, I shall leave a copy of the transcript here. It is the following:
"My studies of the crown have been nonstop from the day I first wore it. I have reached the conclusion that the crown is sentient, and that it's intent is far beyond sinister. It acts as a parasite of sorts, and uses psychological attacks on the brain in what I sincerely believe is an attempt to gain control of my mind. This can be traced back all the way to my first physical interaction with the crown, which took place on the 8th of January. Since then, I now see the visions always whether or not I wear the crown. They tell me the secrets. The secrets of the ice and snow. That the power of the crown will save me with it's frost! I don't yet know what this means. As you can see my skin is beginning to turn blue. My body temperature has been lowering at a supernatural rate, to what is now about 30° Celsius. I don't know when it will end.
I'm really scared."
Making this entry has made me realize how far my condition has worsened. I should simply not be alive. While my theory stands on the crown's intent, I have no idea why it must do these things to my body. It just seems to be obsessed with the ice! Though I don't see what use I will be when my blood begins to freeze..I shudder at the thought. I know I must be brave. If I give into fear the crown wins. It's just..difficult. It's been snowing heavily for days now. I look out my window and all I can see are the thick clouds blotting out the sun, like a shroud cast under the sky. I have no idea when it will clear. I have no idea if it will clear. All I can do is wait.