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Song for this chapter: Feel it now - black rebel motorcycle club

On the 26th of October I woke up in the morning covered in sweat with tears running down my eyes, another dream this one worse than the others, it was the accident on repeat over and over.

I had to watch Daniel's terrified, bloodied face, watch as the shards of glass from the windscreen shattered and sliced into both his and my skin.

I shook myself out of those thoughts and wiped my eyes before getting out of bed and heading to the bathroom for a shower that I was hoping would stop me from shaking.

I didn't look in the mirror,I never really did, it wasn't that I was self concious, not really. I was just afraid of what I knew I would see, the scars.

They were small, hardly noticeable to anyone else. I knew that...the problem was I knew that they were there.

Sometimes when I looked at or touched them I could still feel the sting. It's funny how the mind can play tricks on you.

I had exactly three scars on my right arm, one on my left,four larger yet still small ones on my chest just below my collar bone. They were tiny, difficult to see unless you looked up close.

I didn't have any on my face because I placed my arms up against my face and bent forward during the accident...I remember that.

My back was a different story, the scars on my back weren't quite as small. Odd place to get them I know considering that I was sitting in a chair facing forward but remember what I said, I was leant forward and on that particular hot phoenix day I was wearing a tang top.

Needless to say it didn't give me much protection from the glass.

I had one slightly larger scar on my back, on my left shoulder blade roughly four inches in length I couldn't see it without a mirror but I could feel it.

The rest of my back was littered with little scars none as big as the one on my shoulder blade.

After my shower I felt somewhat better. I went to my room, got dressed and walked down to the kitchen grabbing my sketchpad along the way,I'd started drawing again after that first time.

Charlie sat at the table eating toast in silence, the last few day's it's been like this we hadn't said a word to each other because, well...we didn't know what to say.

I left as quickly as possible skipping breakfast, I wasn't in the mood to eat. I walked to school it was cold but thankfully dry. I hadn't told anyone at school about the upcoming date because

A. I didn't want anyone to make a fuss

and

B. I didn't really have anyone to tell, Angela maybe, but still we were just friends when we sat beside each other in art occasionally during lunch when I sat with her but most of the time I spent lunch in the school library.

My day in school was a typical thursday. I tried to act as normal as possible, to appear happy or at least indifferent. I guess it worked slightly because nobody seemed to notice my foul mood except myself...and Angela.

She noticed.

I sat beside her in Art, we were doing object drawing, Angela and I were drawing a high heeled shoe that looked like it had seen better days. I was thinking about how similar I was to the old ratty shoe.

We were both worn out and just looked tired and at the moment we were both completely useless.

"Is everything okay, Bella?" Angela interrupted my musings in a soft concerned voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just tired." I lied.

She gave me a look that told me she knew I was talking crap.

"Really, I just didn't get much sleep last night." It wasn't a complete lie.

She didn't push me any further,she knew she wouldn't get any answers.

"Okay" she said softly still looking concerned. I felt bad about lying to Angela, she was nice and seemed concerned about me.

Maybe I should have told her, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it, It felt wrong, she wouldn't understand.

At least that's what I was trying to convince myself.

In reality I knew I was afraid, about bringing up Daniel and the pain it would cause and I was afraid that Angela would pity me, I didn't want that.

So I kept quiet.

When English time came I walked into the classroom, Edward sat at his desk. As I walked by he looked up and smiled,I returned a weak smile in reply, in response his brow furrowed and he looked concerned.

He knew something was wrong.

I looked away quickly, afraid that if I looked at him long enough he would figure out what was wrong and that meant I would be forced to talk about it, I didn't want that.

For the entire class I forced myself not to meet his eyes, it was difficult because at times I knew he was looking at me. I could feel it.

When the bell rang I practically ran out of the class room to avoid Mr Cullen as I turned the corner I looked back behind me to see that Mr Cullen was staring after me. I walked faster.

I was glad that day, that English was the only class I had with Edward.

When I got home I did my homework, made dinner,which I didn't eat, I felt sick. I then went upstairs, had a shower and went to bed early, trying to avoid everything, Charlie, Daniel, Edward everything that I would have thought about until I went mad.

I woke at five the next morning panting and sweating. At least I got some sleep. I forced myself to walk downstairs to the kitchen where Charlie sat at the table eating cereal.

I couldn't even stomach the thought of eating, just thinking about it and I felt like getting sick.

We sat in the most awkward silence I have ever encountered,and let me tell you,I have sat though a lot of awkward silences. We didn't say a word, we didn't even look at each other.

Charlie got up from his seat,walked to the sink and put his empty bowl in it and then walked to the door, He paused with his hand on the handle.

"Happy Birthday, Bells" He whispered, so quietly I'm sure I wasn't supposed to hear, but I did. My back was to him, I didn't turn around. He stood for another second before he grabbed the handle and was out the door before shutting it behind him.

I cried alone, at the kitchen table.

On my walk to school it was drizzling rain, I hated that type of rain, I would rather it pour down. The sky was a dark grey and the wind was whipping at my face,I'm sure my nose looked like Rudolph I didn't care, I felt numb, and it wasn't just from the bad weather.

I went to school and didn't speak to anyone at all, not even Angela. She talked to me for a while before she realised I hadn't heard one word she had said, this time she knew better and didn't even ask what was wrong.

I went though the rest of the day like this,ignoring everyone and everything around me, my mind was racing a mile a minute all the while, I was thinking of nothing at all really, it was quite confusing.

When English came around I couldn't wait to get out of there and go to work. I entered the class and walked straight passed Edward without even a glance.

I sat down in my seat put my head in my hands and starred at the desk, I stayed that way for the remainder of the class.

I don't know what Edward talked about and at the time I really didn't care, I felt sick.

You know that feeling you get in your stomach when you find out bad news, the one that feels as if someone is stamping on your stomach and squeezing your chest way too tight.

I couldn't breath, I needed to get out, just as I was about to speak up and ask for someone to help me, the bell rang, and I got up as fast as I could and ran ignoring all the people calling after me, I didn't stop running until I was outside the library doors.

I walked up the steps and entered the library, it was empty, I took a deep breath and felt my shoulders relax slightly, it wasn't so bad here.

I hadn't realised then that I had left my schoolbag behind in my rush to get away.

E POV

I was panicking slightly,I mean what the hell was I thinking, why would anyone want to teach a room full of hormonal teens.

I tugged at the rolled up sleeve of my blue shirt. God, they are going to eat me alive.

"...and what ever you do don't show any fear." I pulled myself out of my thoughts and looked at principle Greene,he had been talking for the last five minutes and I haven't heard a word.

"Yeah of course" I answered as if I knew exactly what it was he had been talking about.

I was way to nervous to listen. I had been in college for the last few years, unable to wait for this day to come, now that it was here I was freaking the hell out. What the fuck was I thinking.

It was my very fist day as Forks High School's new English teacher,and it was sure to be a real shit day.

"These student's will tear you apart if they see weakness, they can smell the fear...I mean for christ sakes they caused Mr Gerrard to have a mental breakdown, he has been hospitalised!"

I gulped.

"But of course I'm sure you will be fine Edward, your young, you can handle it." Good God I hope he's right.

He pulled the handle of the class room and stepped through he talked while I hid behind him, trying to pull myself together.

Before I knew it he was bidding me goodbye, patting me on the shoulder, wishing me luck and leaving me alone in a room full of teenagers that were looking at me like a piece of meat in a lion cage.

I was fucked.

I stepped forward and smiled like I was the most confidant man on the planet. I let my eyes skim around the room.

I decided to ease into it,by getting to know everyone. I offered up information about myself and then pointed to a random girl at the front.

"I'm Jessica, and I love shopping." Okay, what the hell do I say in response to that.

"Good, next" and on it went. I went around to each person and listened to each of them talk about mundane things like shopping, boys, girls football etc until after the Angela girl spoke, the next person didn't, I looked up to figure out who was next and what I saw made my breathing hitch.

She was beautiful she had long shiny brown hair that I longed to run my fingers through and I just knew from looking at it that it would smell amazing.

Her skin was ivory and her cheeks were tinted with rosey pink, she had a heart shaped face, with a small cute button nose and the most perfect pair of pink,plump lips I have ever seen, my mouth opened and I licked my lips automatically at the sight of them.

I looked into her eyes and I swear my god damn heart stuttered a little, they were deep chocolate brown, and they made me melt.

Her long dark lashes brushed against her pink cheeks and I was lost in her.

"I'm Bella and I'm new...Here...in Forks...I'm new here in Forks." Oh God she was so cute.

That thought snapped me out of it. What the fuck is wrong with me, she is a child, my student, I'm her teacher for crying out loud.

I forced myself to look away to the next person, but I couldn't stop myself from sneaking glances at her for the remainder of class.

I realised soon after that day, that not only was she extremely beautiful, she was intelligent also.

I was a gonner.

I knew it from my interaction with her in class and those small brief interactions with her after class.

I enjoyed correcting her homework because I not only loved to get a glimpse inside her head and get to know her, but also because she was an amazing writer, she had a way of viewing things that I had never seen before and I found myself even more attracted to her because of it.

Despite how wonderful I found her I also knew that there was something wrong with her, something happened, I don't know what, but what ever it was, it must have been bad...real bad.

I was worried.

That day when she wasn't paying attention in class, I was hurt that maybe she found me boring and I projected that hurt back at her as anger and when I found out that her reason for not paying attention was because she couldn't sleep, I hated myself, I felt like a real asshole.

When she told me her brother was dead, the pain that was etched onto her features still haunts me, at that moment I wanted to pull her into my arms and tell her she wasn't alone, that I was there for her, that she was safe, but I couldn't.

I refused to let her walk alone and insisted I drive her home, I knew I shouldn't have, that it was wrong but I couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to her.

Then today when she walked into class she didn't give me that beautiful shy smile I got everyday, she didn't even so much as glance at me. She went straight to her desk put her head in her hands and stayed that way for the remainder of class, something was wrong.

I kept shooting worried glances over to her every few minutes and I noticed that Angela was doing the exact same.

When the bell rang she jumped from her desk, she looked like she was going to be sick, my concern grew.

I was about to ask her to stay back but before I could even form the words she was running at full speed from the room,without her bag and all her belongings, bumping into people on the way.

Both Angela and myself called after her and the entire room of students stared at her as she continued to run.

I stood rooted to the spot I wanted to run after her, but I knew that I couldn't.

I looked around and I realised the class was empty save for myself and Angela.

"Angela can I talk to you for a second"

"yes sir" she answered walking towards me.

"Do you know what is wrong with Bella?" I asked.

"No, I asked earlier but she wouldn't tell me, I'm worried about her."

"I am too." Shit I should not have said that.

Angela gave me a funny look.

"She left her bag behind, I would bring it to her house but, I've got to go home and babysit my brothers, do you think she needs it?" Angela asked ignoring my earlier comment.

"I would imagine so, I can drop it off on my way home" I answered hoping that wasn't too inappropriate.

"That would be great, it's very kind of you, but I don't think anyone will be there" she answered.

"Why not?"

"Chief Swan works late and Bella has work today!"

"Oh..Bella has a job?" I asked curiously.

"Yeah at the local library."

"Oh, Ok,well that's all I guess, I'll hang on to her bag for her."

"Okay, I guess I'll get going, bye Mr Cullen." She said before waving and walking out the door.

I walked over to Bella's desk and picked up her bag, slung it over my shoulder and grabbed my briefcase before heading out to my car.

It looks like I'm taking a trip to the library

AN: Okay so this was my very first time to write from Edwards point of view. It probably sucked:)

I found it slightly harder to write for him than I do for Bella...maybe it's because I can relate better to Bella...being a female myself and all ;)

So chapters from Ed's POV will probably be rare, maybe never again. Comment and let me know if you think I should do another one in the future from his POV.

xxx Aoife