Chapter 3 – Argh. Poor doctor… another twist coming up.
"It's negative? Really?" Rose relaxed. "Thank God! Maybe your little fellas aren't that strong at swimmin', sweetie!"
The Doctor frowned. "You're really not upset? It didn't bring out your true feelings?"
Rose stopped mid-victory dance, than turned to the Doctor suspiciously, "What did you do?"
"Well, you know when we watched that Friends episode where Rachel found out she was pregnant?" He caught Rose's look, and quickly added, "Which was a stupid show that we're never watching again."
Rose raised her eyebrows, and then nodded.
"Well, when Phoebe… I mean, that girl with blonde hair and nice boo…"
Rose interrupted him, "Yes, I know."
"When she pretends Rachel's pregnancy test is negative so that she knows how she actually feels about the baby… then tells her the truth…" He grinned weakly, "Well, I was kinda hoping that it would work the same with you!"
Rose opened her mouth and yelled, "You idiot!" She looked at her belly. "You let me dance around when I was pregnant?! You are such a…" She growled, and a second later she was in tears.
"Warning," the Doctor said with his weeping lover in his arms, "Time-Lord mood swings are a bitch."
"Right, we need a nappy." Rose announced.
"Just one? I think we're gonna need a whole bunch!" The Doctor looked over at his pregnant wife.
"You said Time-Lord babies only need one." Rose waddled over to him.
"Oh, sweetie," The Doctor walked over to her and gave her a hug, "You're so gullible."
She punched him in the arm, and then immediately apologised. As she headed towards the Tardis door, she muttered, "Damn mood swings," and threw a handbag at him.
"This one's nice." The Doctor held a sweet pair of dungarees up with a picture of a blue cow on the front.
"And what if it's a girl? What do you plan on having her wear? A bin bag?" Rose picked up a pick dress, "How about this?"
The Doctor shrugged and suggested they spilt up and he went for a coffee. Rose nodded happily. 'This means I can buy anything I like', she thought, 'Mwah-ha-ha!'
Five hours later and the Doctor was still having the coffee, only it was his tenth one, and he was getting slightly wound up.
"Java, java, java, java…" he jumbled up his words and rocked back and forth on his chair.
"Rose! Where you been?" Finally Rose entered through the glass doors and smiled at him.
"Oh, well I've been here for half an hour, but I've been watching you from outside." She laughed. "You're such a Muppet!"
The Doctor looked hurt, which was a hard task to pull off when you're as hyper as he was.
"Soooo… what 'cha bought?" The Doctor began to rummage through the numerous bags of bay clothes. He pulled out a raunchy underwear set and said, "Ooh, these'll fit the baby nicely."
Rose snatched them from him and stuffed them back in the bag, checking to see if anyone had seen them.
"That is," The Doctor sat back in his chair, adding to his previous comment, "Only if it's a boy."
"What are these?" The Doctor, all knowing and intelligent, whipped out a box of condoms, then realised what they were and looked hurt. "You expect me to use these? Human piece of shi…"
Rose slammed her hand over his mouth and grabbed the box. She gestured frantically to the door and they spotted her mother with one of her BINGO buddies, Janet.
"Shhh." The Doctor was still high on caffeine and laughed loudly.
Before Rose could shut him up, her mother and friend waved and wandered over.
"Hello, dear!" She looked her up and down, but Rose pushed her off and tugged at her jumper trying to cover the bump. "How are you?"
Janet had a dumb smile spread across her face. Rose knew she could tell if a woman was pregnant or not before a pregnancy test could, so she attempted to shake her off, but it was too late.
"Oooh, looks like somebody has a little darling on their way!" She prodded her belly playfully, then added, "And it looks like it's taking its effect. Look at this belly!"
Jackie, Rose's mum, opened her mouth, pushed Janet off to buy coffee, and desperately clawed at Rose's jumper.
"You are pregnant! If it's green I'm gonna bloody kill this Doctor of yours!" She folded her arms and questioned, as though it were casual, "Who's the father?"
Rose bit her lip and said, "I don't know."
"Really, Rose, you're such a tart!"
"I didn't mean it that way, I just…"
This time, the Doctor saved her, "It's mine." Or, at least, she hoped it would help.
People think a volcano is hot; they should have seen the look on Jackie's face when she heard this.
Sorry about the short chapter, but I hope it's enough to keep the savage head-biting down.